Mean Monkey Monday 1


This week's Mean Monkey Monday was brought to you by Justin.

More Mean Monkeys: 1 | 2


  1. LOL, WUT!?

    Capuchins from the deep? Why are monkeys swarming a sinking life raft, are they part of a Monkey Amphibious Assault Team?


    1. Seamonkeys, obviously.

      Or, considering that they always appear to be in a hybrid rape/eating frenzy, Reavermonkeys.


    That it’s going to involve another man, water sports, and a surprising number of monkeys?

  3. What a weird pose. It looks like he’s shaking those monkeys like pom-poms.

    “Gooooo, Team Liferaft!”

  4. At first I thought the caption under Monkey Madness read “An Incredible Epic of Terror and Sex”. These magazines seem to be obsessed with sex and monkeys.

  5. Believe it or not, Dr. Shailer Upton Lawton is/was a real doctor and author. Just google him and see. But did he actually freelance for trashy men’s mags, or was his work picked up without his knowledge for padding between the monkey pics?

    Those are determined monkeys. They doggypaddle in single file to the middle of the ocean, to attack three men on a sinking raft. Then, presumably, they doggypaddle back to whatever island they came from to plot their next attack.

    Next raft trip, I’m bringing monkey repellent. And a copy of Dr. Lawton’s next book.

    I can just imagine the guy who illustrated this cover: “Dear Mom and Dad, thanks for paying for art school. Right now I’m working on an incredible epic of terror at sea.”

    1. Here’s a bio and short list for Lawton:

      “LAWTON, SHAILER UPTON; pseudonym of Jules Archer, (1915- ); In this case, Lawton was a well-known physician and writer (1894-1966) who sold the rights to his name. For the curious, Lawton was born in Brattleboro, Vermont and died in New York City. (chron.)

      * * Are European Women Sexually Superior?, (ar) Male Nov 1953
      * * How to Stay Married—and Happy, (ar) Argosy Apr 1949
      * * The Sex Life of an Unfaithful Wife, (ar) Male Dec 1953
      * * Sexual Freaks, (ar) Man’s Magazine Jun 1963
      * * What to Tell Your Wife About Sex, (ar) Male Aug 1956”

  6. This looks a little like some sort of simian semaphore… although I can see how it could look like pom poms.

  7. Sex… is like fighting for your life against an uncaring ocean with only a thin band of inflated rubber for protection, while a hundred thousand rabid monkeys tear at your flesh and scream in your ears.

  8. I sense an approaching unholy nexus of ‘Banana __, just look at it’ and ‘Mean monkeys’.

    I’ll be in my bunker…

  9. Shenanigans. I count no more than 13 rugged features, plus facial expressions of spiders-in-my-linen-drawer revulsion, lunch-money-bully-gonna-knock-out-my-teeth terror, and can’t-get-a-prom-date tearfulness (clockwise from top).

    Never mind the gunshows and sixpax… you’ll note these slabs of beefcake are entirely package-free.

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