Mean Monkey Monday 1


28 Responses to “Mean Monkey Monday 1”

  1. Carnivoress says:

    This looks a little like some sort of simian semaphore… although I can see how it could look like pom poms.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Ok I did some research and it turns out the monkey story was written by Carl Evans

  3. Donald Petersen says:

    Shenanigans. I count no more than 13 rugged features, plus facial expressions of spiders-in-my-linen-drawer revulsion, lunch-money-bully-gonna-knock-out-my-teeth terror, and can’t-get-a-prom-date tearfulness (clockwise from top).

    Never mind the gunshows and sixpax… you’ll note these slabs of beefcake are entirely package-free.

  4. IanGun says:

    LOL, WUT!?

    Capuchins from the deep? Why are monkeys swarming a sinking life raft, are they part of a Monkey Amphibious Assault Team?


    • Anonymous says:

      Seamonkeys, obviously.

      Or, considering that they always appear to be in a hybrid rape/eating frenzy, Reavermonkeys.

  5. Anonymous says:

    This is the actual story behind the movie ‘Jaws’. But monkeys did not seem scary enough.

  6. planettom says:


    That it’s going to involve another man, water sports, and a surprising number of monkeys?

  7. Prufrock451 says:

    What a weird pose. It looks like he’s shaking those monkeys like pom-poms.

    “Gooooo, Team Liferaft!”

  8. Black_Vase says:

    At first I thought the caption under Monkey Madness read “An Incredible Epic of Terror and Sex”. These magazines seem to be obsessed with sex and monkeys.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Believe it or not, Dr. Shailer Upton Lawton is/was a real doctor and author. Just google him and see. But did he actually freelance for trashy men’s mags, or was his work picked up without his knowledge for padding between the monkey pics?

    Those are determined monkeys. They doggypaddle in single file to the middle of the ocean, to attack three men on a sinking raft. Then, presumably, they doggypaddle back to whatever island they came from to plot their next attack.

    Next raft trip, I’m bringing monkey repellent. And a copy of Dr. Lawton’s next book.

    I can just imagine the guy who illustrated this cover: “Dear Mom and Dad, thanks for paying for art school. Right now I’m working on an incredible epic of terror at sea.”

    • cjp says:

      Here’s a bio and short list for Lawton:

      “LAWTON, SHAILER UPTON; pseudonym of Jules Archer, (1915- ); In this case, Lawton was a well-known physician and writer (1894-1966) who sold the rights to his name. For the curious, Lawton was born in Brattleboro, Vermont and died in New York City. (chron.)

      * * Are European Women Sexually Superior?, (ar) Male Nov 1953
      * * How to Stay Married—and Happy, (ar) Argosy Apr 1949
      * * The Sex Life of an Unfaithful Wife, (ar) Male Dec 1953
      * * Sexual Freaks, (ar) Man’s Magazine Jun 1963
      * * What to Tell Your Wife About Sex, (ar) Male Aug 1956″

  10. angrydroid says:


  11. Phrosty says:

    Sea monkeys were a rampant problem in those days.

  12. Yana says:

    Mashed from Werner Herzog’s “Aguirre: The Wrath of God” (1972)

  13. Mahmoth says:

    Sex… is like fighting for your life against an uncaring ocean with only a thin band of inflated rubber for protection, while a hundred thousand rabid monkeys tear at your flesh and scream in your ears.

  14. Anonymous says:

    And I thought all I had to worry about was bed bugs.

  15. rebdav says:

    Get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty apes!

  16. Anonymous says:

    All it’s missing is ‘An ape will die on every page!’

  17. Anonymous says:

    Reminds me of the last scene of Aguirre, The Wrath of God

  18. swangelok says:

    I think I had enough of topless guys kicking monkeys around, thank you very much

  19. Dave Faris says:

    I’m sensing a theme, but what does this have to do with steampunked bananas?

  20. IPFREELY says:

    I now believe they come from an island inside of Mhark.

  21. devophill says:

    Monkeys are old and busted. Weasels are the new hotness.

  22. TimDrew says:

    The Sea is a cruel and harsh mistress… and at this time of the month her cruelty can get a bit freaky.

  23. pjcamp says:

    Everybody out of the gene pool!

  24. Anonymous says:

    Perhaps sales were down. “Wow, that cover you did with the gorillas – that was great. I got an even better idea – more monkeys! I mean, everything’s better with monkeys, right?”

    P.S. captcha says “criticize rubstake”. Punch Slabchest! Buff Drinklots!

  25. V says:

    I sense an approaching unholy nexus of ‘Banana __, just look at it’ and ‘Mean monkeys’.

    I’ll be in my bunker…

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