Silly Rhymes for Belligerent Children: gross poetry from MST3K's Trace Beaulieu

By Cory Doctorow

Mystery Science Theater 3000's Trace Beaulieu and Geek-a-Week's Len Peralta have teamed up to produce a delightfully grody book of nasty children's poetry, called Silly Rhymes for Belligerent Children. Beaulieu's poetry is firmly in the Shel Silverstein/Edward Gorey vein, and Peralta's icky drawings are the perfect companions to rhymes like,

Timmy Davis contracted rabies,
from his unclean rodent babies.

Sammy Smith got a grim prognosis,
when his hamster gave him yersinosis.

Jeffy Conner, poor young fella,
an iguana gave him salmonella.

Tiffy's hamster had a germ,
now Tiffy has a new tape worm.

To Marky Spaniel it wasn't funny,
when he got tularemia from his Easter bunny.

A rare microbial infection,
came from Ian's fish collection.

Don't worry if your pet might bite, just check it well for parasites.

Silly Rhymes for Belligerent Children

Published 5:20 am Thu, Oct 14, 2010

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About the Author

I write books. My latest are: a YA graphic novel called In Real Life (with Jen Wang); a nonfiction book about the arts and the Internet called Information Doesn't Want to Be Free: Laws for the Internet Age (with introductions by Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer) and a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

11 Responses to “Silly Rhymes for Belligerent Children: gross poetry from MST3K's Trace Beaulieu”

  1. knoxblox says:

    Cool! It’s nice to see Trace Beaulieu continuing to do the kinds of things he does best.

    Reminiscing — The grouping of Joel, Trace, and Frank was one of those magical mashups that only happen once in a while, and I for one, am happy that it occurred.

    Now, hit the button, Frank!

    • gnagn says:

      On the off chance you’ve managed to miss it, Joel, Trace, and Frank are back together doing that thing they do over at http://cinematictitanic.com/ , along with Mary Jo Pehl and Josh Weinstein. Got a chance to see them live for their three-movie-marathon last New Year’s Eve in Philadelphia. What an amazing show.

      This book does look awesome. I’ll probably have to pick it up.

    • jere7my says:

      The grouping of Joel, Trace, and Frank was one of those magical mashups that only happen once in a while

      Actually, it happened twice in a while — and the second time is still happening. Maybe you know this already, but Cinematic Titanic is touring the country as we speak, riffing on terrible movies with Joel, Trace, Frank, Mary Jo Pehl, and J. Elvis Weinstein (Dr. Erhardt / the original Tom Servo). They’ve still got the magic, especially live — I’ll be seeing them again in Boston in two weeks.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Shades of “people who died” by Jim Carrol.

  3. JonStewartMill says:

    The grouping of Joel, Trace, and Frank was one of those magical mashups that only happen once in a while, and I for one, am happy that it occurred.

    Seconded. I watched ‘Eegah!’ last weekend on Netflix and was pleasantly surprised at how well it has withstood the test of time.

  4. Tiny-Zombie says:

    This is reminiscent of Edward Gorey’s The Gashlycrumb Tinies. One of my favorites.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I was lucky enough to attend a reading from the book at DragonCon in August. He had the Cinematic Titanic crew reading selected works while also showing some of the concept drawings. Since it’s self-published, you can know that your money is going to support and encourage people who’ve made us laugh for years.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Behold the g. tinies online:

    http://ops.tamu.edu/x075bb/poems/gorey/

  7. Anonymous says:

    Trace, Joel and Frank (and fellow MST3K alums J. Elvis and Mary Jo) have gotten back together for Cinematic Titanic. They riff on terrible movies. They are on tour and have several movies out on DVD.

    Great stuff
    http://www.cinematictitanic.com/

  8. Chentzilla says:

    Wait, isn’t Easter bunny a mythical creature usually represented by an adult in bunny costume?

    Also, that part of the rhyme had broken meter.

    • tongueflap says:

      While the Easter Bunny is a mythical creature, there are folks out there who, ill-advisedly, give children real chicks and bunnies as Easter gifts. Dumb idea, granted, but it happens.