Mean Monkey Monday 3


"We were attacked by devil apes."

More Mean Monkeys: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4


    1. American men might be amateurs at love, but anecdotes and studies indicate that American men are pretty darn good.

      At dating, there are plenty of stories, and a few studies in this area. American men are, relatively speaking and on average, nice guys. A balance of confident without being aggressive (again, we’re talking in comparison to other countries). Dare I say it: respectful? Your mileage may vary.

      At sex, there are several studies showing American men have more sex, longer sex, and better sex (for both parties) than just about every country. And a high degree of monogamy. The French, storied for their romantic prowess, rank near the bottom.

      Why the disconnect between reputation and reality? I think it’s because we believe we’re not that good, so we try harder. So by all means, keep saying Americans are amateurs. It’s a good thing.

  1. What’s that guy in the background hefting? A baboon head on a stick? A Clovis hand-ax? The Poopsmith’s shovel?

  2. These mean monkeys always seem to be ripping the clothes off women.

    Where would one purchase said monkeys?

  3. She has very odd mammarian morphology. My diagnosis is an abnormality of the Cooper’s ligaments. The monkeys aren’t evil, they’re just ridding the population of undesirable genetic mutations.

  4. As Marge said in the SIMPSONS Fantastic Voyage spoof when the antibodies were eating her clothes away: one thing you can say about those clothes-ripping monkeys – they know when to stop.

  5. Clothes ripped off, light scratching, a lot of animal howling. Looks like a pretty good date to me.

  6. Compared to previous MMM’s, this couple has it relatively easy: less than a half dozen between the two of ’em. And this time the woman is wearing sensible clothing (right down to the apparently armored bra). I give them the best chances of survival of all of the ones I’ve seen so far.

  7. Fashion apes. They can’t stand a blue blouse, black belt, and brown pants. In an odd twist, they are ok with wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

  8. I gotta ask. Where do you keep finding these? You’re giving Google some great search terms there.

  9. “American Men are Amateurs at Love”

    er, isn’t that implied by the definition/etymology of “Amateur”? (unless one is considered a “professional”, and saw fit to charge accordingly for services provided…)

    or was this referring to the monkeys? Yes, clumsily ripping her clothes is a bit of an amateurish move- especially if the clothes are designer duds; a very bad move indeed.

  10. Those apes want her bra, and they are going to get it unless a REAL American man can save her boobies!

    Too bad they aren’t Nazi apes also.

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