at the very least, they are 2 “gentlemen” who, imo, have mastered the art of profiteering off FUD.

To the best of my knowledge he never used a tampon, but he probably told the salesguy from our American rivals to try it.

English diplomats used to claim they had to drink a quart of olive oil and stuff a tampon up their asses before going to Russian diplomatic events.

Does that work?

The idea behind the oil is to coat your digestive tract so that very little of the alcohol ever enters your bloodstream.

The idea behind the tampon is that when you thoroughly oil your G.I. tract and fill it up with liquids you are going to be unable to entirely control your bowels.

I’m not saying it works, I’m just explaining the principles.

Does that work?

No, it doesn’t, and it’ll screw up your liver worse than a bottle of cheap Ossetian vodka that smells like acetone. Each rich, meaty soup like kharcho before or during drinking and you’ll be OK. Or at least have a good meal – that way downing a half-litre won’t be that much of a challenge. And keep lots of activated charcoal tablets at hand. Or, even better, we’ve got this stuff called Enterosgel that absorbs all the toxins and saves you from a really, really bad hangover. It also comes in tubes just like toothpaste which is super handy to keep on your nightstand to just squeeze a bit into your mouth before dozing off.

Note: do not insert either in your rectum.

My post on real evil by a Russian mob got me called a CIA propagandist

If anyone is a CIA propagandist around here, it’s Alex Jones himself.

There’s an historic reason for this: In the old days, the man in your circle who wasn’t drinking was probably an informant.

The man drinking was also probably an informant; one out of five Soviet citizens routinely passed data to the KGB. However, if an informant was drunk, his testimony was not considered reliable.

English diplomats used to claim they had to drink a quart of olive oil and stuff a tampon up their asses before going to Russian diplomatic events. It was the only way to stay sober enough to do their jobs; Russians have an unbelievable capacity for wudka.

Gentlemen, if we can’t outdrink Colonel Vlad Igorovich, we will not be able to stop this spam flood at its source.

I said that we would never have to do this, and I meant it – but circumstances demand it. Pull out your magic church keys and insert them into the Rock of Inebriation; it’s time to summon ULTRA-LUSH, THE SUPERHERO WHO DRINKS.

Or the ghost of Ted Kennedy. Whoever gets here first, it’s all good.

-Darren MacLennan

I understand from friends who lived in Mongolia that it’s even harder there, especially since many Mongolians don’t consider their local drinks “alcoholic,” despite being very high in alcohol. In other words, they’ll understand why you don’t drink “alcoholic” beverages like wine, but they practically force airag on you.

I feel like there must have been something else there that I missed. Is the “FBI’s legal attache” even supposed to bond with mob bosses?

But seriously, why the tampons?