Dick move: "friend" tattoos giant penis on pal's back


39 Responses to “Dick move: "friend" tattoos giant penis on pal's back”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I want to get a tattoo of a penis on my penis…only bigger…

  2. Anonymous says:

    “DUDE, what does my tattoo say?” “SWEET, what does mine say?”

  3. llazy8 says:

    This is actually a time-honored prison prank. I can remember a variant as far back as the mid-90′s. That time a snitch wanted a big eagle on his back but the tattoo artist gave him a giant penis and the word ‘f****t’. Dollars to doughnuts that, friends, the ‘slogan’ isn’t going to turn out to be much more interesting than that. I think up and breaking the social contract by doing the tattoo in the first place was as funny as this one’s going to get. Let’s see this Maldivian tourist wedding article now …

  4. Anonymous says:

    it’s wrong but it’s funny.

    completely juvenile humor.

    i love it.

  5. robulus says:

    That’s what I love about Australia, our larakinism follows through where other countries fear to tread. I mean, people might joke about something like this, but no one would ever, ever, seriously consider actually doing it, ever, in a million years, it would be unconscionable.

    Except in Queensland. I bet they were all pissed.

  6. robulus says:

    Or maybe the NT, too.

  7. Felton / Moderator says:

    If I’m ever in need of plastic surgery, remind me to find a surgeon with no sense of humor whatsoever.

  8. knoxblox says:

    “Your honor, I wish to enact the Code of Hammurabi in lieu of financial compensation. I think the same tattoo on my friend’s forehead would be appropriate.”

  9. Barry Wilson says:

    @#21 How about “Poor Impulse Control” on his forehead, perhaps?

    • Michael Smith says:

      How about “Poor Impulse Control” on his forehead, perhaps?
      I bet Singapore would go for that one though I would advise them against upsetting a fully armed nuclear power.

  10. Anonymous says:

    FYI the link you provided to the UFIA google search has its first image result integrated in the search. The first image actually goes to a malicious attack site.

    Might wanna just link to a know-your-meme or directly to whatever other page next time.

  11. Anonymous says:

    see/read: he died with a felafel in his hand.

  12. llamatron says:

    what is impossible or unconceivable behaviour is to queenslanders pretty much normal.

    see/read: he died with a felafel in his hand (youtube) for a quick taste.

    • Xopher says:

      Discretion being the better part of valor, I have chosen not to watch that video.

      Note to self: Queensland is a place to be avoided.

      Do Queenslanders behave when they go to civilized places?

  13. dculberson says:

    “Police said the pair had a disagreement before the tattooing.”

    Perfect time to let him tattoo you!!

  14. Raj77 says:

    Wow. Just reading the background to the UFIA thing, it’s pretty stunning that it apparently wasn’t seen as an offence.

    In my jurisdiction (Northern Ireland) provided that the prosecutorial team could show that the penetration was in some way sexually motivated- and it might be trickier to show that it wasn’t- the owner of the finger could be looking at a life sentence.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I starred in a web video about this 2 years ago. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpE8JGplAzs

  16. coaxial says:

    Worst part? The “MISSPELLED slogan implying the man is gay.” [emphasis mine]

  17. Metostopholes says:

    Man, I wish there were a picture! Or at least for the article tp actually say what the “misspelled slogan implying the man is gay” was.

    • Xopher says:

      There was a line at the top of the penis graphic labeled “You must be at least this high to ride this ride.”

      All right, I made that up, but it should have been that.

      Seriously, I’m glad the so-called “friend” is facing criminal charges. He should have to pay to have the tattoo removed, and have a penis tattooed on his face, and be forbidden to remove it.

  18. Anonymous says:

    I had to laugh when I read this bit:

    The bloke started doing the tattoo and there was another bloke standing there watching saying, ‘Mate, it’s looking really good.’

    Typical aussie humour!

  19. Johnny Justice says:

    “he said he wanted a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons”

    To be fair, the “friend” may as well have done a giant penis instead. Sounds a lot easier.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Well, now he can claim he has a 19 inch penis without lying. At least until he gets it removed.

  21. the|one says:

    Okay, it was me. I like putting penises on things, what can I say?

  22. Anonymous says:

    totally worth the $2000 fine

  23. efergus3 says:

    “Welcome to Jamaica, mon!”

  24. Chupacabara says:

    That’s what is scary about “Back” tattoos… I wanted a picture of a 6″ Penis on my back, and instead I received a tattoo of a little guy playing a piano.

    Go figure.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yeah – the old jokes are always the best! Must have heard that years ago, except it was a guy finding an old oil lamp, producing a genie after rubbing it (of course!) and got a wish. Asked for a 12″ penis. Well… got a little piano player. Still , nice to hear a variant! :-)

  25. artaxerxes says:

    Hmmm… if I’d had a disagreement with a fellow whom I’d known a long while- long enough to be familiar with his character— I would not choose him to do a large back piece. Surely, the tattoo-ee must have known the tattooer was a shithead with a juvenile sense of humor and a propensity to hold grudges. In fact, if I had unresolved beef with someone, I wouldn’t allow them to tattoo me.

    I’m in no way excusing the tattooer’s act: that was a very fucked-up thing to do. Just sayin’.

  26. Barry Wilson says:

    Pix or GTFO!

  27. Church says:

    I want a picture of a 6″ penis on my penis…

  28. Anonymous says:

    I was pretty sure that he wrote “dicktation” a la Jonah Takalua on Summer Heights High – images.google.com and look for dicktation +Jonah.

  29. Snig says:

    In his defence, you can’t get a more Yangish symbol than that. And the slogan implying he was gay could be construed by some English majors as being Yin-ish symbolism. OK, it’s pretty indefensible.

  30. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Warning: If you Google UFIA, you’ll be entering the land of attack sites. Proceed with caution.

  31. Xopher says:

    As for UFIA, wrestlers call that an “oil check.” It’s a technique for distracting an opponent. That’s not an excuse, of course.

  32. social_maladroit says:

    UPOB also stands for “unsolicited penises on BoingBoing.” :-P

    From the article:
    “Police have charged a 21-year-old man from Bundamba, near Ipswich, with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one offence relating to the public safety act.”

    How do you turn an act of tattooing into an assault and a breach of public safety? (Maybe the tattoo “artist” wasn’t licensed.)

    • Xopher says:

      It became assault because he gave him the wrong tattoo. The permission he was granted to stick needles into his alleged friend’s back was conditional on the resulting pattern; when he used another pattern, he lost that permission, and his action became the same as if he’d stuck needles in a stranger without asking.

      Also, I understand that the victim got roughed up when some guys saw the tat.

      This tattooist is a piece of shit, make no mistake.

  33. Anonymous says:

    ‘‘When he got home he showed it to the person he lives with and she said: ‘I dont think it’s the tattoo you were after’.


    Starwars reference FTW

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