You’re suggesting actively *encouraging* promiscuity as a parenting technique. And I continue to insist, that’s reckless and irresponsible. As an example, if I encourage my daughter to sleep around, and her peers label her a slut, I can’t help but feel personally responsible. Whether or not her peers are ignorant or immature is irrelevant. My daughter still has to grow up in a social environment where she bears a scarlet letter. I don’t think you’ll find much evidence to support a conclusion that growing up with such a reputation is healthy for a person’s psyche.

And that only addresses (a small sliver of) the social consequences of youthful promiscuity. Even with a rubber, it’s still a behavior that carries some risks a youth might not fully apprehend. Needless to say, teens aren’t always responsible enough to pause before having sex and think, “do I have a condom? should I inquire about my partner’s history?” So the message here is circumspection with regard to sex. Not “go have fun, and good luck.” I think it would weigh heavily on your conscience if your child were to contract an STI or become a teen parent because of the libertine ethos you encouraged.

Anecdotally, when I was fifteen (2000), word traveled quickly around school concerning who was sleeping with whom. The more commonly mentioned names were also the ones that were likely to travel in more troublesome crowds. I’ve got to think that as a parent I have a responsibility to discourage that, even while promoting independence. And I think there’s a way that you can do both of those things.

Finally, as a factual matter, I should point out that there is conflicting information on whether early exposure to sex results in deviant behavior later in life.

Compare: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/11/071112140723.htm with http://www.physorg.com/news91723968.html .

HOWEVER, there is a strong link between promiscuity in young teen girls and other risk taking behavior–cocaine use, cigarette smoking, binge drinking, and huffing.

http://www.atypon-link.com/PNG/doi/abs/10.5555/ajhb.2004.28.1.3

So, in conclusion, as a parent, I think it’s better to encourage your child to practice responsible behavior, rather than behavior that is statistically correlated with destructive conduct.

Of course you can never overcome peer pressure and lunch table talk but it is important for the kids to understand that love and a possible future comes first, the lust from sex can really cloud your vision and leave you together in a toxic relationship that neither really wants because sex does chemical things in your brain and makes you think you are more attached than you are.

BTW why do schools need to have official dances anyways? It is almost as bad as requiring a license from the state for marriage.

Sex is really fun but it is not supposed to be the thing our life revolves around.

Your genes beg to differ.

–facepalm–

Then you are probably doing it wrong.

If you spend some time with the psychology literature, you’ll see that people who lose their virginity in their young teens often have troubled sexual relationships later in life.

You should educate young teens and preteens about sex, but not shove them off into the world and say “have a ball, stay safe.”

Even when young teens are educated enough to know about protection STIs and pregnancy, there’s an emotional and social component to sex that they won’t fully apprehend until they are more seasoned and mature. As a parent, I think it’s your job to guide the child until they can competently make these judgments on their own.

Suppose your 15 year old daughter takes your advice and indiscriminately has sex with a four or five guys in her freshman year. She’s going to develop a very hurtful reputation very quickly, and that reputation will follow her throughout high school.

I really don’t like this idea of “kids are smart enough to sort it all out themselves.” Children and teens don’t see the world the same way adults do. Full stop. They are maturing, and need to be given independence, freedoms, and responsibilities, but you can’t forget that they still need guidance on matters in which they don’t have a seasoned understanding.

The fact that one of the girls was a year below isn’t insignificant – generally schools try to keep formals ‘within the grade’, even if that distinction is probably a bit silly. I wasn’t allowed to attend my girlfriend’s formal when i was in senior because she was a year above me, and we were (at least to the outside appearances) a vanilla hetero couple.

Understandable, but in this case other girls were allowed to bring boys from a lower grade.

Either that or change the school motto to “we hate fags” so at least they’re open about it.

Also, Cory – we don’t have proms in Australia, we have formals ;) sounds classier, donchaknow?

The school in question is Ivanhoe Girls’ Grammar in Melbourne, and the Headmistress is Heather Schnagl. Here’s the contact page if you’d like to tell her what you think: http://www.ivanhoegirls.vic.edu.au/contact

If anyone’s interested, here’s the school’s (utterly weak sauce) media release: http://www.ivanhoegirls.vic.edu.au/assets/pd/IVANHOE_GIRLS___Media_Release_10.pdf

you can’t forget that they still need guidance on matters in which they don’t have a seasoned understanding.

“Honey, I know that you want to enjoy yourself, but you should be thinking about how this affects your ability to make a businesslike marriage that enables you to pay the mortgage and inherit an IRA later in life.”

People mostly seem to want to screw around when they’re young. It strikes me that the parental ‘guidance’ has more to do with squeezing them into a social norm than about helping them to find long term happiness. Unlike in the movies, plenty of people have multiple partners as teenagers (and later) and go on to have happy lives as adults. I’d rather discover whether I’m promiscuous or not before there’s a strong possibility for collateral damage.

The fact that one of the girls was a year below isn’t insignificant – generally schools try to keep formals ‘within the grade’, even if that distinction is probably a bit silly. I wasn’t allowed to attend my girlfriend’s formal when i was in senior because she was a year above me, and we were (at least to the outside appearances) a vanilla hetero couple.

There’s plenty of discrimination and bigotry in Australia, but when it comes to the education system there’s less than you’d think. Subjects on teaching and relating to gay, lesbian, and intersex kids are standard for many education degrees (at least at the big unis, like Uni of Queensland). I was out as bisexual by senior year, and took my bandmates to my formal as my ‘date’. It was a little controversial but they allowed it because we were all within the same grade.

On the other hand, this is a private school (Grammar schools are secular private schools, exclusive and expensive) and the private schools get a lot of freedom to discriminate that the public schools don’t.

But I think, if there’s stuff going on in the world you don’t wanna know about? YOU get in the f*ing closet.

As has been commented, this wasn’t a government run school. My (Australian Public) High School formal was attended by two same sex couples without issue.

While I’m glad the same-sex couples were without issue (it’s hardly appropriate for high-school students to have children), I don’t see the relevance here.

LRF V’Z XVQQVAT SBE PGUHYUH’F FNXR

I am the son of a catholic father who never went to church and a protestant mother who took us to church and Sunday school. Onward christian soldiers; I think not. Such absolute drivel. To be manipulated by a santa claus; an easter bunny and worst of all a bogus cross! One should appreciate each day of life and not expect another and if there is it might be given by a God of Love.

The Vatican basically supported Hitler and religion is responsible for more corruption and violence in the world. Pope Ratzinger was involved in the Nazi youth. The Pope with his blatant witchcraft related to the bible and its hateful beliefs; tries to rule with extreme prejudice against a world … that may fall victim to religions’ absolute evil. Many theologians state quite correctly that the birth; crucifixion; resurrection and other elements of christianity actually didn’t even happen! The pope is running a bigger fraud than Madoff’s $50 billion ripoff. Today’s evangelical extremists are like the nazis who cast others into ovens & are actually supremacists – who practice their bogus hocus pocus – and are trying to suppress and deprive others of their happiness and their legal rights in an open and proud society. Bring back the period when they threw the christians to the lions.

Einstein stated in a letter recently auctioned that the bible was a collection of primitive legends. He said believing in God was childish and he as a Jew is no different than another person and are not chosen by God. Do you want to be lambs at the slaughter or be wise and reject religious cultist manipulation? Mean & nasty; run by evil and bogus religious cults from Rome or wherever. Is this the world you want? The pope talks about ending prejudice and hate; what a hypocrite! Religion is a crutch for the insecure. Appreciate every day and if there is no tomorrow; then know that you were fortunate to have lived on this earth!

This bogus religious filth should be banned. It exists as a tax exempt structure which discriminates against human rights. The pope, bishops and mormons are cult members promoting discrimination against minorities. That bogus black book called the bible should be banned. Religion and the churches should now be exposed as a bigoted structure that gets away with hate mongering. Love between two guys or girls existed long before these cults existed. By enjoying their tax exempt status and benefits from the state it also puts churches at the mercy of the state; to be forced to adhere to the human rights laws. Religion is thriving like a cancerous growth on society that should be stopped in its tracks; outlawed & banned.

The Right Honourable Prime Minister of Canada Jean Chretien told the Vatican that there was to be no cross erected over the Canadian Parliament buildings figuratively speaking; when the Pope demanded the Prime Minister go against gay rights. An Alberta bishop had the audacity to say that The Canadian Prime Minister would go to hell for going against the church. Such outrageous evil threats. The Right Honourable Prime Minister in return; basically told the Pope to go to Hell! The Honourable Irwin Cotler, Canadian Minister of Justice, stood for equal rights for the gay community. With reference to protecting the children: The Honourable Hedy Fry, member of the Canadian Liberal Parliament, who happens to be a doctor who delivered many babies; spoke eloquently to defend the rights of babies being born and stated that she was in fact defending their rights by speaking on behalf of equal rights for the children and youth of the future — defending their integrity and dignity. Minority rights must be decided by a dignified judicial system and/or a compassionate government.

United States is supposedly fighting for democracy but within the U.S. they treat gays like secondary citizens. Being left-handed, black or being gay is just as natural. If blacks’ or women’s rights were cast to the masses to decide … then the majority or lunatic religious fringe in this case — has the advantage to decide minority rights. The annual economic impact of gay travelers is about $63 billion in the U.S. alone.

A great story pertains to a boy at a catholic school in Oshawa, Ontario who wanted to take his boyfriend to his school prom. The evil catholic school forbid this. A father of one of the boys is an employee with General Motors Canada and the courageous union leader Buzz Hargrove stood up for the boys’ rights. The boy took his case through the courts and because the evil catholic school was benefiting from government funding which demands equal rights void of discrimination; the judge ordered the school to allow the two young boys to attend together. Their limo arrived at their prom with adoring onlookers.

Tell them to take that cross and shove it where the sun don’t shine and pay their taxes along the way before they take that cross down forever with its final station; extinction. It is written; so therefore it shall be? We are the chosen people? Such a wicked fantasy. To see the religious lunatics manipulate government and our lives is shameful.

To think of Matthew Shepard choking on his own blood after being savagely beaten; virtually sanctioned by the church is evil beyond comprehension; yet is the same as boys being bullied into suicide; most likely being supported by the bullies parents’ religious cults. Bigotry and hatemongering against gays should be banned. It is a sometimes rare occurrence to fall in Love and to hold that person in your heart and be loved in return … it is something that should be celebrated! If it is between two guys or girls all the better. It takes even more courage to defend that LOVE!

My father fought at the front on D-Day in Normandy … through the Battle of the Scheldt to Germany and grandfather was a Sgt. Major at Vimy. My Dad who was a catholic — is alive today at 87 and doesn’t believe in santa claus — an easter bunny or any of that bogus cross related filth.

A gay pilot may have saved the lives of nine US soldiers who just got killed.

A special compliment to the discharged soldiers … you are the finest soldiers indeed … in a battle and a war much greater than you will ever know!

Abused gay people should definitely talk to or write to their parents; friends; teachers & school principal … about the issue. Your story may save another person! You should strive to be great and one day you may have a respected platform to help others … like Elton John, Elizabeth Taylor, Ellen Degeneres & David Geffen.

It’s not the President, Generals or government behind disallowing gay rights – it’s the religious lunatics! Voodoooooooooooooooooooooo politics!

Add one annecdote to support your hypothesis.

I was one of those highschool queer kids who took my girlfriend from another school to my year 12 formal without issue, 10 years ago. Actually, I used to loan her my spare uniform and bring her to classes sometimes (we thought it was hilarious, the teachers generally rolled their eyes and let her stay). The only issue at the formal came from the Christian kids, who let us know en masse how gross they thought it was when we had a kiss on the dancefloor.

It’s 2010, some girls dance with girls, get over it.

So now we’re all on the same page: most of them.