TSA tee: "We get to touch your junk"

A whopping $30.99, proving that trademark infringement isn't always your best entertainment value.

Junk Search (via Aetherczar)

• [Anonymous]

  YEAH SKREENED! This shop is right down the street from me. They are super committed to sustainable practices and it’s a pretty sweet AA baseball tee to begin with.

  Oh, and to the commenter who suggested “FOndle” instead of “Touch”, it doesn’t render as well with the longer word. It’s a visual thing :)

  Just ordered mine and will have it in time to wear for flight on SUnday

• [Phikus]

  Is it still junk if you keep it polished and shiny?

• [Me112233]

  NEWS BULLITEN — This just in: All of the TSA workers who have a moral conscience have quit their jobs. With the peak travel season upon us, the TSA is seeking to immediately replace these seventeen people with experienced personnel who lack a moral compass. In pursuit of this hiring goal, the TSA is making a special effort to recruit out-of-work priests to screen the children.

• [dross1260]

  Don’t make a stink when we touch your pink

• [Ingmar]

  Trademark? I don’t think the feds enjoy trademark protection for their logos. Not that parody wouldn’t be considered fair use either way…

  • [Brock Lawbster]

    That’s exactly what I immediately thought. As a taxpayer didn’t I pay for some small part of that design anyway?

    • [Sagodjur]

      Stop being logical. That logic won’t stop the gubberment from suing you. It could be argued (stupidly) that it’s a threat to national security or something.

      Besides, the government lets private corporations use public resources in the course of their business and we don’t get a cut of that.

      What’s our money is their money and what’s their money is their money.

• [Roger Wilco]

  I Hereby claim copyright to Testicle Surveillance Authority.

  I’m a happy miser.

• [Anonymous]

  It looks like the designer switched default / preview shirts and selected the 18.99 one.
  So, yeah, 30.99 on the American Apparel baseball tee, but more reasonable on the other stuff.

• [Anonymous]

  and what about a copyright on the ‘touch my junk’ quote from the other day? the guy makes international news and someone else runs with his gag. oh, where will it all end?

• [Anonymous]

  It’s on other, cheaper shirts than the baseball jersey there, too, but it’s pretty sweet on that one.

• [efergus3]

  Poor word choice. Not ‘touch’, ‘fondle’.

• [KurtMac]

  I’ve still got my “ZOMG TERRISTS GONNA KILL US ALL ZOMG ZOMG ALERT LEVEL BLOODRED RUN RUN TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES MOISTURE BOMBS ZOMG!” shirt from Shirt.Woot! Much more affordable at $10 when it was released in… 2007?! Holy cow, that’s an old shirt. http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=3630

• [MacDude]

  Wear a kilt and go commando! Utilikilts FTW!

• [Anonymous]

  Parody is fair use. (This is parody, right?)
  One hopes.
  l

• [Anonymous]

  Actually, just in the past few years most gov logos are off limits. Yes, our tax dollars paid for them so I have no idea how they can get away with it but I digress.

  For instance, DOD is completely off limits. Can’t use their seal in any way shape or form. Most others can be “licensed”. (Believe it or not) Marines, Navy, Coast Guard, etc. all have a licensing program.

• [Church]

  I was never a fan of the uniforms in the original Star Trek motion picture, but I’m totally going to get one. “Want me to remove my shoes? Well, OK…”

• [Anonymous]

  “”Don’t tain’t me, Bro!”

• [nemofazer]

  I think Penn Jillette has the right idea.

  http://www.pennandteller.com/03/coolstuff/penniphile/roadpennfederalvip.html

  Of course it helps if you’re famous and the cops that turns up likes you.

• [mappo]

  That eagle should be depicted grabbing something other than arrows and branches.

  • [burningrome]

    Twigs and berries, perhaps?

• [Anonymous]

  Feds don’t have copyright to their logos and you may do whatever you want with them as long as you are not impersonating someone with it, e.g. a real TSA agent.

• [Anonymous]

  All government logos, labels, text, etc. and derivatives thereof are public domain. The only restriction is you can’t use them to represent yourself as a government agent or otherwise for official purposes. There is no infringement here. Expensive, but hilarious. Fortunately you could just “pirate” it and make your own at cafepress for 5 bucks, since, after all, no copyright.

• [Anonymous]

  I’ve got an idea, inspired by today’s video of a little girl kicking a TSA agent who was trying to grope her.

  In all states, children under a certain age (usually 12 I think?) don’t have responsibility for their actions. So if a little 6 year old girl hits or kicks a TSA agent, that little girl cannot be prosecuted for it.

  To me, there are a lot of things wrong with TSA agents groping children. Perhaps the biggest problem with it is that children should not think it is ok for adult strangers to touch them. Ever. That little girl who had tantrum was doing exactly what she should have done!

  Unfortunately, her mom was encouraging her to calm down and comply. That’s wrong.

  Her mom should have been saying, “kick harder! kick for the face!” and so on.

  The little girl would have no criminal liability. In fact, the TSA could be useful in providing practice for children in how to react to be touched by strangers: hit, kick, bite, go for the face and eyes.

  Would an adult have liability for encouraging his or her child to fight back against being groped by a stranger? I wouldn’t think so. It can’t be a “conspiracy” because the child isn’t competent to be a conspirator to anything. It can’t be assault because the adult isn’t doing anything. It can’t be interfering with the TSA because the child is the one doing the interfering.

  I know that (below a certain age) a child would have no direct liability.

  • [lux_aurumque]

    That little girl wasn’t 6, she was 3. THREE.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ-dd5C9LD4

    Watch it now before it gets taken down again.

    Watching a three-year-old girl sob into her mother’s arms “Stop touching me” is the best anti-TSA-grope message you could hope to find.

    Maybe a t-shirt with “Stop the TSA from forcing their agents to become pedophile creepers.”

    Or maybe a screen cap of the pat down with “Pedobear Approves” stamped in the corner?

    • [Sugarpig]

      Did you notice the regional director of the TSA suggesting that the screeners make a game of it with the child. Like it’s okay for an adult to touch you when it’s a game.

      So when creepy old uncle Ernie says “let’s play a game” she won’t scream and cry and tell Mom….

  • [AnthonyC]

    “In all states, children under a certain age (usually 12 I think?) don’t have responsibility for their actions. So if a little 6 year old girl hits or kicks a TSA agent, that little girl cannot be prosecuted for it.”

    Where did you get that? Maybe they can’t be brought up on criminal charges as an adult, but a) there is a juvenile justice system, and b) children can still be sued for civil offenses- like hitting or kicking someone.

    I want you to be right, just don’t know that that’s the case.

    • [Anonymous]

      Yes, children below a certain age have no criminal responsibility for their actions. Look up “Defense of infancy” on Wikipedia. In common law, and in most states, the age of criminal responsibility is 7. Anyone younger than that cannot be responsible for a crime. Under Federal law, the age is 10. That little 3 year old girl was doing a good job of kicking. I know plenty of children 10 and under who would be able to do an even better job on a disgusting pedophile TSA agent. Children should be trained to hit and kick any adult, other than their parents or a trusted doctor in their parents’ presence, who touches them. That includes TSA agents.

      Adults should take advantage of this situation and use it as a learning opportunity for their children, by rewarding their children for doing the right thing when a stranger gropes them.

      And yeah, the suggestion that TSA agents should “play a game” or use a lollipop is disgusting. Children should be taught not to go along with those things. All pedophiles know about that kind of stuff. If a TSA agent offered my child a candy I would tell my child to refuse it, and further, if my child hit or kicked the agent, I would tell him, “good job, go for the face”, because that’s what children should do when strangers grope them.