Presidential descendant and professional dolphin teleporter Laura Magdalene Eisenhower joins Joan Ocean in hosting a $1550 Hawai'ian symposium on dolphin teleportation, time travel, and the "transformative paradigm for 2012." Also: Ms Eisenhower's an AVATAR who was invited to a SECRET COLONY ON MARS.
Update: Ackpht, in the comments:
There was a descendant of Dwight
whose speed was much faster than light
she went out to play
with the dolphins one day
and returned on the previous night.