Heat your oven to 300 degrees. Arrange a layer of army men on the bottom and along the sides of a bowl. Use a Pyrex bowl, any size you want, or something similar that can go in the oven. Carefully put the bowl of soldiers into the over so that you don't knock any of the soldiers off the side of the bowl.
Watch the army men melt in the oven. The ones around the top will get deformed quickly so do not panic when you see this. Once these ones have melted enough that they no longer resemble army men, take the bowl out of the oven. The army men near the bottom will not be very melted and most likely won't even be stuck together.
To melt the army men on the bottom, hold the bowl over a low flame, letting them melt until they are just a green mass. I do this on a gas stove, but it might work on an electric range as well.
I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.