Balls

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.

MORE: Funny • Ripoffs • Safety • security • terorrism • war

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Eurovision 2013: An American in London

The technology that links taxonomy and Star Trek

travtastic

This would be a little more realistic if it was a picture of a rich American.

Or wait, we could just continue blaming the brown people for starting this fire? And our current situation here is just an absurd ‘overreaction’? Easier!

I know everyone here always says things like that to the right-wing trolls; and they should. But is it an Arab Terrorist groping your privates, or ordering someone to? No, it’s a rich white man, possibly in an elected position. Is it likely that he cares about your well-being? No chance, right? So who is it that won again?

It’s funnier though, with bin Laden. A little less depressing. And being Americans, we’re already comfortable with this narrative frame, even if we pick at its edges as good Progressives will.
Harrkev

#23 Unmutual…

Terrorists are our own creation? Yup. Why? We support Israel. That is the main reason.

There are LOTS of Islamic states over there, but only ONE Jewish state — one to many for many Muslims. For those of you who do not believe this, just look up the six-day-war on Wikipedia.

I do admit that America has done some really butt-headed things in the middle east, but all of that pales in comparison to our sin of supporting the Jews.

I, for one, hope that we keep on supporting Israel, even if it means that Hamaas and Al-Qaeda don’t like us.
- Anonymous
  
  “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
Orchestra Spy

Balls balls balls. I got balls you got balls we all got balls. I’m tired of balls being thrown around by chicks man! Do they need balls (if you know what I mean) laid to them? And that term “you got to grab ______ by the balls!” is another frequent chick term. It’s about high time us guys will balls lower ourselves to that same terminology and say, yes! I’m going to grab _______ by the meatcurtains! lol meatcurtains this, meatcurtains that. It’s all about the meatcurtains baby.
braininavat

Since the War On Terror is going to be with us for the next century (according to the original game plan, IIRC), it’s a little early to be saying the terrorists have won.
dollarama

Yep. Terrorists win.
- Cowicide
  
  Corporatists really won overall don’t ya think?
Anonymous

Does it make me a terrorist if I think this is the funniest thing I have seen all week?
Anonymous

I addressed Theremina on this, but I think the point needs to be stated outside my tiny twitter feed. We need to be writing not oonly our reps about this, but also the airlines. The airlines have a lobby, which might influence these policies.
dpcosta

Oh boy… this would be hilarious if it wasn’t true…
Teller

Lest we forget: the impactful “mons veneris” version.
user23

I believe it’s important to clarify something:

the so-called terrorists won -because- the U.S. initially failed by adopting a policy of State Terrorism…. by overextending into a region they had no business of being in.

in short, they didn’t win, the U.S. Lost.
wolfwitch

Agreed. This is very likely true. The terrorists got exactly what they wanted. They have disrupted our “American way of life.”, probably forever. They can just sit back and laugh at us now…
- nutbastard
  
  Last I checked we still have MTV, pornography, homosexuals, big screen tv’s, kevin smith, and drugs.
  
  They haven’t won yet.
  - mdh
    
    no no no. The only real difference is that we have the right to talk about those things, openly, in all 50 states, without repercussion.
    
    quaint distinction, no?
- Anonymous
  
  We invade two countries, thousands die, many are tortured, and close associates of Osama and pals are bombed into oblivion
  
  vs
  
  “touched their balls.”
  
  I don’t think they are laughing or just sitting back for more than 5 seconds. I don’t think they see anything we do to ourselves as balancing that equation.
n3black

And for the extra level of insult, consider how inappropriate touching anything with your left hand is in certain cultures, much less someone’s genitals.
- nutbastard
  
  er, that’s his right hand…
atomicon

Jeez, people. Lighten up. It’s funny.
n3black

Arrrghh! My mind is gone on Monday, that is his right hand, not left. Too much partying on the weekend…
- nutbastard
  
  Yeah, but look at him defiling his own elbow with his left hand.
  
  Just look at it.
Enormo

Last I checked we still have MTV, pornography, homosexuals, big screen tv’s, kevin smith, and drugs.

Maybe we can give them Kevin Smith and call it even.
- ondre
  
  Maybe, but you couldn’t send him on Southwest Airlines.
- mindysan33
  
  But I like Kevin Smith! Chasing Amy and his Prince story make him worth keeping around (“Night tubby”). Let’s keep him and give them MTV instead, including the entire cast of Jersey Shore!
Kibble

I wonder if we’ll get to read a memoir from Obama, written in the same self-justifying style of W’s recent book. “In hindsight, I feel perfectly fine with my policy of having the TSA fondle everybody’s junk. It was the right decision. After all, not a single terrorist has exploded his testicles on an American fight. Not even one!”
rebdav

I often wonder if OBL struck at the exact right time to earn the credit in 50-100 years as they guy who brought down the former American empire with four box cutters.
He pressed the button that caused the system defenses to begin attacking the body sapping it of its ability to function as a self sustaining entity in a sad national leukemia.
- arikol
  
  western over-reaction policies likened to an auto-immune disease (rather than the leukemia you mention) sounds like a pretty good analogy.
  And it’s not just the US, too many European countries are trying to follow suit. Our sad fall from grace is a little behind you guys, but only a little.
- yclept
  
  @rebdav “Sad national leukemia.” Nice turn of phrase.
Anonymous

Bloody Balls.
Anonymous

Still waiting on the complimentary pre-flight prostate exam to come into effect. Until then, I say they haven’t won quite yet.
Anonymous

It’s interesting that we all interpret this as a caricature of a terrorist.
- SnidelyWhiplash
  
  Hey, uh, that’s Osama. You did realize that, didn’t you? No stereotyping necessary.
Unmutual

The terrorists win

is a naive way of looking at things really . . . the terrorists are a product of our own creation . . . and to attribute the ultimate collapse of our bloated empire to them is just silly.

The TSA, the wars, the high unemployment, the sagging economy, these things are all connected. No nation can sustain itself by outsourcing all of its human misery on developing nations, by greedily consuming all of their resources itself and encouraging its entire workforce to consume exclusively foreign made, cheap disposable products.

The amount of money we are spending on the security state and the wars is the price we pay for a lifestyle of convenience supported by human suffering around the world. Guess what, people hate us for it, and want to do us harm.

The poor economy we are stuck with is the result of america’s wrong-headed support of free trade and globalism because we thought it’d bring us even cheaper products.

We made our own mess, 9-11 just shoved our nose in it.
- Nadreck
  
  Yes, it was no doubt the grinding poverty of Saudi Arabia that caused multi-billionaire Bin Laden to gather together his crew of multi-millionaires to murder tens of thousands of working class people throughout the Middle East. They even managed to kill off a couple of dozen White guys while they were at it. And of course all these places were perfect paradises before the mean old Yanks turned up to spoil everyone’s fun. No one ever committed genocide (well, at least not on Tuesdays), and there was no slavery (except that of the lower castes and they don’t count anyway).
  
  Thus speaks someone who’s never read a history book without the word “United States” or “Britain” in it.
  - starfish and coffee
    
    .. there was no slavery (except that of the lower castes …
    
    Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia does NOT have a caste system. You’re confusing it with India. I am aware that this was not the central point of your post anyway, but your flimsy grasp of facts reduces your argument to a rant.
    - ocschwar
      
      “Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia does NOT have a caste system. You’re confusing it with India. I am aware that this was not the central point of your post anyway, but your flimsy grasp of facts reduces your argument to a rant.”
      
      Muslim countries do not have a de jure caste system. But de facto, they have it in spades. Whether it’s the Akhdam community of Yemen (people who are supposedly more Ethiopian than other Yemenis — who are all to some degree Ethiopian), the Amazigh speakers of rural Morocco, the “more black” among the “varyingly black” in such countries as Egypt and Sudan, the Muslim World does not lack for lower castes. See also Afghans and Balochis in Iran. Various non-Javanese in Indonesia. And of course various communities, Muslim communities, in Pakistan, who have would up in the unpleasant niche of the lower orders in that benighted country.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    Nadreck,
    
    If you had ever read a history book with ‘Britain’ in it, you’d know that a bunch of non-Middle Easterners, with the UK at the fore, divided the region into countries based on a misguided and ultimately disastrous view of what would be most beneficial to the Western powers. The situation in the Middle East is very much the UK and US’s baby. Their spindly, ricket-ridden, milky, wizened, dim-eyed, gammy-handed baby.
    - Teller
      
      Well heck, the Euros rearranged the furniture many, many times in Europe before they applied their design concepts to the Middle East, South Asia and Africa. It’s a feng shui thing.
- redsquares
  
  Agreed.
  
  It’s a little hard to say “terrorists won”. Their existence is based upon opposition to a giant, multifaceted beast. They feel threatened, and the reaction is to violently strike back, indiscriminately, at the icon of their perceived suffering.
  
  Likewise with the nations involved as opposions to terrorism. That is, Us.
  
  Both sides have unrealistic views of what and how a human is supposed to be. They structure their societies to live this way, and eventually, with all this monochromatic thinking, it’s either “my way” or death, thought a billion times over, each coming to their own separate conclusion.
  
  Not to mention that these people who ‘won’ are now being hunted down by people who are psychopathic for money, so they can buy more things that are created by people who also want them dead. I don’t know, what’s right? Is it an impossible answer? I know one can’t be perfect and isolated on this earth in this day and age, but there’s certainly something to ‘trying’ to not be a dick.
  
  One man is willing to kill hundreds to make his point heard, to find a place for himself on this planet, so his children can live in a society he feels acceptable, and so he can oppress others instead of being oppressed.
  
  The other is willing to kill hundreds to find a place for himself on this planet, a place his children can live in a society he feels appropriate, and so he can oppress others instead of being oppressed.
  
  Point: Neither side is winning. They both are perverted conceptualizations of human society based on the collected guides of various ancient power hungry men cowering under a desert god of death. What did you expect? I’m not blaming religions, I’m blaming mankind for choosing to fetishize Hate and Opposition as an equalizer.
  
  Why? Because it’s natural?
  Being naked also comes naturally, and neither side finds that acceptable…!
  - GreatRewards
    
    Time!
    
    Who had 2 hours 19 minutes in the “How long before the Nudists chime in?” pool?
Anonymous

Now we’re getting funny. (LOL X10) They do that!
Anonymous

Anon #22 just spoiled the joke for me. I will now sit back and quietly contemplate my own racial stereotypes :(
Anonymous

I ask for the grope-down. Then I make noises while they search me.