Cthulhu sex-toys!

Necronomicox sells dildos shaped like Cthulhu and other elder horrors from the other dimension: "We saw a niche that needed to be filled, so to speak."

Necronomicox (via JWZ)


  1. …a niche that needed to be filled…

    Good one.

    Just curious about the “copyfight” tag… Did I miss something…?

  2. The one on the right is pretty unpleasant but the other two look like they would have appealing textures. They should really find someone to fix their web site and provide more product information, especially about the painting process. How is something painted safe for internal use? Is it a silicone paint?

  3. For all the over-exposure that the zombie trope is getting, I never imagined anyone would want to have sex with one.

    I think we deserve a picture of a dildo in the shape of a unicorn horn after seeing these.

  4. Here in Toronto there is, in fact, a sex shop called Lovecraft. I don’t think they’d carry those, though.

  5. I will be ordering one of these for all my least favorite people.

    Julian Assange, you will be receiving the zombie dildo. You are welcome.

  6. When alien archaeologists pick over the ruined remains of humanity, they’ll find novelty sex toys like the Cthulu dildo and the Avatar-inspired blue alien vagina fleshlight and attempt to understand what these cylindrical objects were and what function they served. Once they discover their purpose, the aliens will silently shake their heads in disapproval, pack their belongings, and leave.

  7. Alan Moore’s Neonomicon features Lovecraft inspired sex toys….
    I;m not sure why, but it was a direction I was not expecting the comic to go in…..

    1. “Not the direction you thought he was going in” is a pretty good summary of Alan Moore’s work.

  8. I wonder what would happen if someone started selling these in Alabama (which has a ban on the sale of sex toys). If you are selling dildos that are also works of art, it seems like you would have a pretty strong first amendment defense. (Of course, anyone who actually want to try this should probably get in touch with the ACLU first and/or have the means to finance a multi-year legal dispute with the state of Alabama.)

  9. The one on the right of the image is seriously disturbing; I don’t get the “Lovecraft” vibe from it but rather a “dead, decaying and rotting penis” feel.

    That’s just creepy.

  10. Reply to Anon #24

    ‘Once they discover their purpose, the aliens will silently shake their heads in disapproval, pack their belongings, and leave.’

    Should alien archeologists visit our fair planet, and ‘pick over the ruined remains of humanity’, there may be much that will meet with their disapproval, novelty sex toys being far down on the list. What humans might have used to pleasure themselves or each other, would not make the top 1000 puzzlers about our species.

    I kinda get the middle one and the one of the left – ribbed for pleasure, but the one on the right? – ew.

  11. I get the impression that Lovecraft feared the Female … all that business about miscegenation and warped offspring.

    If there’s a market for Lovecraft dildoes, surely there’s a market for Chthulhu dolls with lifelike latex orifices?

    And by “lifelike”, I mean fangs and dribbling mucus, and a disquieting, evil stench of rank foetor and miasma ….

  12. Our new buddy Donald Douglas (he of the tag line “Keeping an eye on the communist-left so you don’t have to!”) has linked to this post with his trademark brand of neocon snark:
    “Why Progressives Read Boing Boing
    No wonder they demonize people of faith and romanticize atheists: ‘Cthulhu sex-toys!'” And of course he has labeled the post “Democratic Party, Mass Media, Moral Bankuptcy, Progressives, Radical Left.”

    Though that didn’t stop him from running the dildo photo even larger than BB.

    I guess this is his idea of payback, since so many Boing Boingers took him to task for clucking about Elizabeth Edwards insufficient faith in God.

    I think he just likes Lovecraftian kink.

    link added by mod: http://americanpowerblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/why-progressives-read-boing-boing.html

  13. Years ago, a friend of mine recorded a song called ‘Necromonicondom’ (or was that the album title?). Mood music, perhaps?

  14. For the person wondering how we paint them safely:
    The silicone is tinted and painted in the mould. For example, with Mythos, the tentacled one, I will paint the eyes in first, and spots if requested. When that sets up a bit the main colour in poured in. The different colours bond and you get a colourful, customized finished toy. No solvents, so no health issues to worry about. The high price is a reflection of the labour involved. These things aren’t made in a sweatshop in China. We sculpt them, mould them, produce them, pack them up and ship them.
    And a front page redesign is in the works.

  15. Cannot unsee or unname!

    what strange geometries! I fear an eldritch infection in her feotid nether-regions!

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