Cthulhu sex-toys!

Necronomicox sells dildos shaped like Cthulhu and other elder horrors from the other dimension: "We saw a niche that needed to be filled, so to speak."

Necronomicox (via JWZ)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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Anonymous

@Dave Faris,
Ask and ye shall receive.
http://whipspiderrubberworks.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=37
Jonah

I wonder what would happen if someone started selling these in Alabama (which has a ban on the sale of sex toys). If you are selling dildos that are also works of art, it seems like you would have a pretty strong first amendment defense. (Of course, anyone who actually want to try this should probably get in touch with the ACLU first and/or have the means to finance a multi-year legal dispute with the state of Alabama.)
captain_cthulhu

Cannot unsee or unname!

what strange geometries! I fear an eldritch infection in her feotid nether-regions!
danegeld

a bit NSFW!!!
Randwulf

Inspired by the twisted writings of H.P. “Love”craft.
- Anonymous
  
  He’s buried in my yard… Swan Point..
Tim

The one on the right of the image is seriously disturbing; I don’t get the “Lovecraft” vibe from it but rather a “dead, decaying and rotting penis” feel.

That’s just creepy.
facetedjewel

Reply to Anon #24

‘Once they discover their purpose, the aliens will silently shake their heads in disapproval, pack their belongings, and leave.’

Should alien archeologists visit our fair planet, and ‘pick over the ruined remains of humanity’, there may be much that will meet with their disapproval, novelty sex toys being far down on the list. What humans might have used to pleasure themselves or each other, would not make the top 1000 puzzlers about our species.

I kinda get the middle one and the one of the left – ribbed for pleasure, but the one on the right? – ew.
KanedaJones

heheh this just reminds me of this NSFW place..

http://www.bad-dragon.com/toys

strangely enough on my journeys I keep bumping into people who use their products – man I need to find places to hang out in with less ‘creative; types.
karl_jones

De gustibus non disputandum est.
karl_jones

I get the impression that Lovecraft feared the Female … all that business about miscegenation and warped offspring.

If there’s a market for Lovecraft dildoes, surely there’s a market for Chthulhu dolls with lifelike latex orifices?

And by “lifelike”, I mean fangs and dribbling mucus, and a disquieting, evil stench of rank foetor and miasma ….
Anonymous

Our new buddy Donald Douglas (he of the tag line “Keeping an eye on the communist-left so you don’t have to!”) has linked to this post with his trademark brand of neocon snark:
“Why Progressives Read Boing Boing
Seriously.
No wonder they demonize people of faith and romanticize atheists: ‘Cthulhu sex-toys!’” And of course he has labeled the post “Democratic Party, Mass Media, Moral Bankuptcy, Progressives, Radical Left.”

Though that didn’t stop him from running the dildo photo even larger than BB.

I guess this is his idea of payback, since so many Boing Boingers took him to task for clucking about Elizabeth Edwards insufficient faith in God.

I think he just likes Lovecraftian kink.

link added by mod: http://americanpowerblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/why-progressives-read-boing-boing.html
johnofjack

More frightening than Lovecraft’s fiction!
Orpheline

Years ago, a friend of mine recorded a song called ‘Necromonicondom’ (or was that the album title?). Mood music, perhaps?
Matt Staggs

NSFL.
Jackasimov

Well, at the very least this is turning out the years best comment section.
Prufrock451

No no no no I did not see a Giger dildo I did not see a Giger dildo I did not see a Giger dildo
nanuq

When the Old Ones finally arise, somebody is going to be very sorry for coming up with this idea.
Rob Cruickshank

Here in Toronto there is, in fact, a sex shop called Lovecraft. I don’t think they’d carry those, though.
irksome

Ah, romance is in the air.
MrJM

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fapping.
Anonymous

Rule #34. And not even an obscure variant.
Anonymous

annd my legs just involuntarily clamped together FOREVER.
Anonymous

So like uh. Yeah. Its a zombie dildo… LOL.
nickodemus

I will be ordering one of these for all my least favorite people.

Julian Assange, you will be receiving the zombie dildo. You are welcome.
Anonymous

For the person wondering how we paint them safely:
The silicone is tinted and painted in the mould. For example, with Mythos, the tentacled one, I will paint the eyes in first, and spots if requested. When that sets up a bit the main colour in poured in. The different colours bond and you get a colourful, customized finished toy. No solvents, so no health issues to worry about. The high price is a reflection of the labour involved. These things aren’t made in a sweatshop in China. We sculpt them, mould them, produce them, pack them up and ship them.
And a front page redesign is in the works.
Thanks!
robbersdog

And the prize for best product name goes to…
Anonymous

Is Cory trying to drop some hints for a Christmas gift?
voiceinthedistance

34′d.
mathdemon

…a niche that needed to be filled…

Good one.

Just curious about the “copyfight” tag… Did I miss something…?
Chuck

If you declare the middle one to be a voodoo doll, you might finally have a way to defeat Cthulhu.
Mark Crummett

Just because you _can_ do something doesn’t mean you _should_.
- Anonymous
  
  Cthulhu is a Real mythological being.
  No one can copy right it out right.
LogrusZed

$250 for the painted versions? I could fuck a real zombie for half that.
Anonymous

When alien archaeologists pick over the ruined remains of humanity, they’ll find novelty sex toys like the Cthulu dildo and the Avatar-inspired blue alien vagina fleshlight and attempt to understand what these cylindrical objects were and what function they served. Once they discover their purpose, the aliens will silently shake their heads in disapproval, pack their belongings, and leave.
Mitch

The one on the right is pretty unpleasant but the other two look like they would have appealing textures. They should really find someone to fix their web site and provide more product information, especially about the painting process. How is something painted safe for internal use? Is it a silicone paint?
sbarnes2

Thanks, dildo company, for making me afraid of monsters! These belong on Regretsy.
Doom-Kitten

Alan Moore’s Neonomicon features Lovecraft inspired sex toys….
I;m not sure why, but it was a direction I was not expecting the comic to go in…..
- dodongo
  
  Yeah, this is straight out of Neonomicon. No one accept any invitations to any parties from these folk.
- Halloween Jack
  
  “Not the direction you thought he was going in” is a pretty good summary of Alan Moore’s work.
Dave Faris

For all the over-exposure that the zombie trope is getting, I never imagined anyone would want to have sex with one.

I think we deserve a picture of a dildo in the shape of a unicorn horn after seeing these.
- Anonymous
  
  It isn’t a ‘zombie’ thing.
- GeekMan
  
  Agreed. Where is our unicorn-dildo-chaser?
  - Anonymous
    
    A unicorn dildo?
    
    I think the closest thing would be a “live cast” of a real equine…
    
    Click if you dare, NSFW obviously:
    
    http://www.bb5t.com/zen/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=1_6
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      If you can buy a ‘Ron Jeremy’, why not a ‘My Friend Flicka’?