How to get conservative professors to blog about Cthulhu's gigantic horror cock


74 Responses to “How to get conservative professors to blog about Cthulhu's gigantic horror cock”

  1. turn_self_off says:

    Lovely, i thought USA was the nation of seperation of religion and state. Yet he manages to claim that Americans expect christian faith (tho other faiths may be acceptable, just show some kind of faith dammit) for their president (and first lady). Facepalm do not even begin to cover it…

  2. ADavies says:

    Thou shall not worship false idols! (Such as giant Cthulhu dildos.)

  3. james4765 says:

    I swear to God, I never wanted to see these things again.

    But damn, it got some USDA Grade A Wingnut all hot and bothered. Hilarious. I wonder what will make him flip out even more? Monty Python’s The Life Of Brian reshot as gay porn?

  4. Andrew W says:

    I’m surprised that no one has pointed out that one of his “Team Members” is the Great Satan’s Girlfriend, and another one maintains this NSFW blog of middle-aged, breast-enhanced women: Clearly this shows the demonillistifascistness of the pro-victory right.

  5. Anonymous says:

    battle of the blogs! now get don king to promote a box fight

  6. Anonymous says:

    Must read!!! I posted this older article in the other thread about that Douglas miscreant:

  7. ill lich says:

    hilarious Cthulhu dildos = bad
    soft-core porn = good

    Ahh yes, moral decay, these Cthulhu dildos will contribute to the downfall of our great civilization, whereas giving huge tax breaks to the rich and simultaneously cutting public services for the poor will save us all.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Hmm, I had him for Poly Sci 1 @ LBCC and while kinda conservative he never came off as thickheaded. I remember this was back when CA first was starting to give gay marriage equal standing, and I remember arguing that this first instance was akin to Plessy v. Ferguson and that gays needed their own Brown v. Board of Ed to really make things right. Him being black, the argument was a good teaching moment.

  9. mr_mediocre says:

    For some real yux at the expense of the Donalde, google up “Sasquatch Israel”. The link for Sadly, No! is your best bet.

  10. Anonymous says:

    “Dildonic” is the best word ever. Maybe a good name for a cock– er, rock band.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Donalde’s a troll, but a reliably stupid one. Hard to sort out whether attention to him is a good thing – yucks at the expense of a dim bulb – or a bad thing – attention given to the most attention-hungry.

  12. JArmstrong says:

    Brilliant. Doesn’t he realize that Cthulu dongs will only enhance his pro-victory status? They guarantee victory!

  13. jccalhoun says:

    Funny how when people complain about how colleges are “full of liberals” trying to “indoctrinate our children” they don’t mention guys like this who are a lot more outspoken than nearly any of the “radical leftists” they like to point out.

  14. Anonymous says:

    oh lawdy

  15. ToMajorTom says:

    He describes BoingBoing as ‘vile left-wing demonology’? Uh, yeah, that’s why I come here.

  16. technogeek says:

    I’m just amused by the fact that Barbie is on the same page, pretending she doesn’t see these past the Monopoly box.

  17. jjsaul says:

    He’s just trying to subtly brag about being the model for the one on the right.

    How long until he takes down his “chicks in bikinis with machine guns” site?

    By Grapthar’s hammer, what a douchebag.

  18. Flibbertigibbet says:

    I imagine there will be a lot of disappointed new boinboing readers showing up in the near future. If folks begin grumbling about the lack of dildo-content, we’ll have a good idea who referred them.

  19. Forwardista says:

    ‘vile left-wing demonology”

    Man, I always thought this site was more whimsical pagan unicornology.

  20. BTWBFDIMHO says:

    I feel sad for his students. Where does he teach Political Sciencetology? Beck University?

  21. Tavie says:

    LMAO – well done, Rob, this is hysterical.

  22. William George says:

    I bet the dildos he uses have the heads of Bush, Cheney, and Rove on them.

  23. foobar says:

    Poor guy.

    Let’s be the better people, wish him a happy holidays, and hope he works out the hate in his heart.

    • davejenk1ns says:

      Amen, Foobar. Cthulu scares me as much as the next guy, and I love a good incident of the Streisand effect, but talking trash about partisan bloggers really only results in bringing the partisan dreck home, and no one is the better for it.

    • Anonymous says:

      Not wish him happy anything. Smiling and trying to be the nice guy toward people like this just encourages them. They think you’re expressing submission. And maybe they’re right.

    • Anonymous says:

      You, sir, deserve a medal for your awesomness!

  24. MrJM says:

    “They were not composed altogether of flesh and blood. They had shape…but that shape was not made of matter.”
    – H. P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu”, The Dunwich Horror and Others, p. 140.

  25. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Begun the Bone War has.

  26. d3matt says:

    I’m definitely not “progressive”… I read boingboing because it’s a directory of wonderful things!

    The Cthulu dildo while not “wonderful” did make me chuckle! One of these days I’ll have to read Lovercraft to really grok Cthulu…

  27. pinehead says:

    Methinks the conservative dickhead doth protest too much.

    It should be common knowledge by now that the one who preaches most loudly does so to drown out his own inner demons. Pointing a trembling finger at Elizabeth Edwards or demonizing BoingBoing only reveals to us the merest whiff of Douglas’ own deep-seated religious doubts and deviant sexual urges.

    Go ahead, Don. Order a dildo. We won’t tell anybody. It’s alright; there’s no god judging you outside of your own psyche.

  28. irksome says:

    “Wide stance…” heh heh. I see what you did there.

    Hopefully wide enough for one of these:

  29. Jack says:

    I like visiting that fine person’s web page. It’s like he’s just swiping links from Boing Boing and shoving them through a crazy filter.

  30. Commodore Schmilapp says:

    “Creepily objectified totty”? On a site that just recently linked (favorably, I assume) to “Every issue of Playboy on a hard drive”?


  31. aelfscine says:

    He just put up a new post, speculating that we want to murder him.
    As an added bonus, the post’s title “Homocide” cunningly (but subtly) suggests we might be gay as well.

    The man, clearly, is a giant of argument and rational thought. He looks to be moderating comments now, so I suspect anything that mildly disagrees with him will not go through.

    • Anonymous says:

      On the contrary, the title “Homocide,” in the context that we supposedly want to terminate him, cunningly and subtly suggests something else entirely.

  32. Cryptic Scholar says:

    I just feel sorry for the man, he sounds very sad, isolated, and bitter. I do hope that he gets better soon.

  33. mati says:

    No, no! You’ve got him all wrong. He’s just floating Cthulhu Dildo for the Iowa Straw Pole. Finally, an inflexible conservative voice that won’t go all soft the second it gets inside Washington!

  34. Anonymous says:

    OK, that does it- now I have seen everything

  35. voiceinthedistance says:

    Oh, please! “non-euclidean anal fistulae” is becoming such a tired phrase. Every blog I’ve visited today has used that in one context or another, to the point that it’s lost its cachet. At least, Rob, you weren’t discussing household chores.

    irksome: the link to the “jackhammer” dildo is a bit too much for me to assimilate right now. I have a hard enough time with people jamming Jesus down my throat, let alone my . . .

  36. Anonymous says:

    Douchebag Objects to Dildo, Film At Eleven.

  37. Unanimous Cowherd says:

    “Moral bankruptcy” only makes sense if you think morality is some sort of economic system, as our friend Mr Douglas seems to hold. A very strange economic system in which “morals” are like dollars, and you must carefully hoard your money and not go into “debt” too far, or your “credit rating” will suffer. And of course you only pay out your “moral dollars” if you commit arbitrary infractions of rules set down by millennium-old sheep herders, fishermen and ex-tax collectors, I guess. I’m really not following what the man means. It sounds like an obscure MMORPG, actually.

  38. Rob Beschizza says:

    “Homocide” really does sum it up, doesn’t it. It’s barely even offensive or threatening or even attributive, just a kind of muttering unclever pun that means almost nothing at all.

  39. Anonymous says:

    honestly, i think its a shame this man gets any attention at all. he’s truly ill and shouldn’t be in any kind of position where people can hear him at all…

  40. Unanimous Cowherd says:

    Actually I rather like that notion: religion as RPG.

  41. TheCrawNotTheCraw says:

    Oh, gosh.

    NOW, when I think of Dr. Donald Douglas, I’m afraid the image of “Cthulhu’s gigantic horror cock” will forever be associated with the man.

  42. MarkM says:

    wow. this guy has been programmed superbly by the hive mind.
    ayn rand fan? check.
    equating anti-bernie madoff sentiment with communism? check.
    celebrating anything that is tea party? check.
    i see a bright future for him as guest commentator on a certain
    fair and balanced organ of propaganda.

  43. ill lich says:

    “the wide stance adopted suddenly by his hitherto non-dildonic website “. . . heh heh heh, “wide stance”, nice!

  44. Rob Beschizza says:

    Please don’t be hostile in his own comments, folks: it’s not at all reasonable to expect him to publish it (we wouldn’t!)

  45. Jack says:

    I dedicate this song to Douglas:

    “No neck freak…”

  46. John Napsterista says:

    What’s with the Sex Pistols, Generation X, Billy Idol and Heart [!!!] youtube links/album art above his blogroll?

  47. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Maybe BB’s new tagline could be “Come for the dildoes; stay for the goatse.”

  48. jmullan says:

    That guy sure seems like an unbelievable
    butt hole, but he sure gave those sex toys a big

  49. Anonymous says:

    And it looks like BoingBoing got the special tag “moral bankuptcy,” reserved for only the most morally bankupt, i presume. Among the other morally bankupt topics posted are zach galifiniakis smoking a joint and keith olbermann’s political donations.

  50. Anonymous says:

    The douchebag in question also loves to post soft core porn on his site and then tell his classes that they should read his blog everyday.

  51. Swizzlebat says:

    Uh, okay, I just took a look at his “other” site, and the juxtaposition of one post touting something called “Hero Hugs” (which sends teddy bears to overseas military personnel and features a wholesome retro tween in pigtails hugging a be-medaled plush bear) directly above a leering “Saturday Totty” post is too skeezy for words. Just like our friend Mr. Douglas! Kinda summed it all up for me, frankly.

  52. Anonymous says:

    I wonder how biased he is in his grading? 5% of a students grade is discretionary. I hope he never becomes tenured.

  53. Cappy737 says:

    To use his logic in his critique of Ms. Edwards, I think it is “telling” that he does not list the Bible under his favorite books in his blogger profile. He must be a communist.

  54. Anonymous says:

    Also, he likes “walks on the beach.”

    I am not making this up.

  55. monopole says:

    We really do have to inform him of this you tube video:

  56. floraldeoderant says:

    After days of reading nothing but the deadly serious Wikileaks and UK Student Protests and Copyfighting articles… This is the most refreshing thread.

  57. michael holloway says:

    “Keeping an eye on the communist-left so you don’t have to!”

    Sadly, what communist left?

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