How to get conservative professors to blog about Cthulhu's gigantic horror cock

donald_douglas.jpg Remember Dr. Donald Douglas, the associate professor of Political Science at Long Beach City College who wrote an extraordinarily mean-spirited opinion piece about cancer victim Elizabeth Edwards? (Recap: Edwards believed in God but failed to mention Him in her last farewell, and is therefore a nihilist and so forth) Well, my link to his grave-dancing has earned a spectacular response! After describing Boing Boing as 'vile left-wing demonology,' the thought evidently came to preoccupy him, as he has now posted an enormous image of Cthulhu's gigantic horror cock to his blog. This is apparently to serve as a warning about progressives, but the wide stance adopted suddenly by his hitherto non-dildonic website only validates their supernatural powers. One can only hope his readers (weaned perhaps on the more normative smut creepily objectified as 'totty' on what Blogger lists as his other website) have insurance adequate to cover any non-Euclidean anal fistulae that his next product recommendation inflicts. Previously: Cthulhu sex-toys!


  1. Brilliant. Doesn’t he realize that Cthulu dongs will only enhance his pro-victory status? They guarantee victory!

  2. I’m just amused by the fact that Barbie is on the same page, pretending she doesn’t see these past the Monopoly box.

  3. He’s just trying to subtly brag about being the model for the one on the right.

    How long until he takes down his “chicks in bikinis with machine guns” site?

    By Grapthar’s hammer, what a douchebag.

  4. I imagine there will be a lot of disappointed new boinboing readers showing up in the near future. If folks begin grumbling about the lack of dildo-content, we’ll have a good idea who referred them.

  5. ‘vile left-wing demonology”

    Man, I always thought this site was more whimsical pagan unicornology.

  6. Poor guy.

    Let’s be the better people, wish him a happy holidays, and hope he works out the hate in his heart.

    1. Amen, Foobar. Cthulu scares me as much as the next guy, and I love a good incident of the Streisand effect, but talking trash about partisan bloggers really only results in bringing the partisan dreck home, and no one is the better for it.

    2. Not wish him happy anything. Smiling and trying to be the nice guy toward people like this just encourages them. They think you’re expressing submission. And maybe they’re right.

  7. “They were not composed altogether of flesh and blood. They had shape…but that shape was not made of matter.”
    — H. P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu”, The Dunwich Horror and Others, p. 140.

  8. I’m definitely not “progressive”… I read boingboing because it’s a directory of wonderful things!

    The Cthulu dildo while not “wonderful” did make me chuckle! One of these days I’ll have to read Lovercraft to really grok Cthulu…

  9. Methinks the conservative dickhead doth protest too much.

    It should be common knowledge by now that the one who preaches most loudly does so to drown out his own inner demons. Pointing a trembling finger at Elizabeth Edwards or demonizing BoingBoing only reveals to us the merest whiff of Douglas’ own deep-seated religious doubts and deviant sexual urges.

    Go ahead, Don. Order a dildo. We won’t tell anybody. It’s alright; there’s no god judging you outside of your own psyche.

  10. I like visiting that fine person’s web page. It’s like he’s just swiping links from Boing Boing and shoving them through a crazy filter.

  11. No, no! You’ve got him all wrong. He’s just floating Cthulhu Dildo for the Iowa Straw Pole. Finally, an inflexible conservative voice that won’t go all soft the second it gets inside Washington!

  12. Oh, please! “non-euclidean anal fistulae” is becoming such a tired phrase. Every blog I’ve visited today has used that in one context or another, to the point that it’s lost its cachet. At least, Rob, you weren’t discussing household chores.

    irksome: the link to the “jackhammer” dildo is a bit too much for me to assimilate right now. I have a hard enough time with people jamming Jesus down my throat, let alone my . . .

  13. honestly, i think its a shame this man gets any attention at all. he’s truly ill and shouldn’t be in any kind of position where people can hear him at all…

  14. Oh, gosh.

    NOW, when I think of Dr. Donald Douglas, I’m afraid the image of “Cthulhu’s gigantic horror cock” will forever be associated with the man.

      1. Yep.

        Douglas already sounds like a phallus, so having his name elicit the image of “Steely Dan V” seems like poetic justice.

  15. wow. this guy has been programmed superbly by the hive mind.
    ayn rand fan? check.
    equating anti-bernie madoff sentiment with communism? check.
    celebrating anything that is tea party? check.
    i see a bright future for him as guest commentator on a certain
    fair and balanced organ of propaganda.

  16. “the wide stance adopted suddenly by his hitherto non-dildonic website “. . . heh heh heh, “wide stance”, nice!

  17. What’s with the Sex Pistols, Generation X, Billy Idol and Heart [!!!] youtube links/album art above his blogroll?

  18. And it looks like BoingBoing got the special tag “moral bankuptcy,” reserved for only the most morally bankupt, i presume. Among the other morally bankupt topics posted are zach galifiniakis smoking a joint and keith olbermann’s political donations.

  19. The douchebag in question also loves to post soft core porn on his site and then tell his classes that they should read his blog everyday.

  20. Uh, okay, I just took a look at his “other” site, and the juxtaposition of one post touting something called “Hero Hugs” (which sends teddy bears to overseas military personnel and features a wholesome retro tween in pigtails hugging a be-medaled plush bear) directly above a leering “Saturday Totty” post is too skeezy for words. Just like our friend Mr. Douglas! Kinda summed it all up for me, frankly.

  21. After days of reading nothing but the deadly serious Wikileaks and UK Student Protests and Copyfighting articles… This is the most refreshing thread.

  22. I swear to God, I never wanted to see these things again.

    But damn, it got some USDA Grade A Wingnut all hot and bothered. Hilarious. I wonder what will make him flip out even more? Monty Python’s The Life Of Brian reshot as gay porn?

  23. I’m surprised that no one has pointed out that one of his “Team Members” is the Great Satan’s Girlfriend, and another one maintains this NSFW blog of middle-aged, breast-enhanced women: Clearly this shows the demonillistifascistness of the pro-victory right.

  24. Hmm, I had him for Poly Sci 1 @ LBCC and while kinda conservative he never came off as thickheaded. I remember this was back when CA first was starting to give gay marriage equal standing, and I remember arguing that this first instance was akin to Plessy v. Ferguson and that gays needed their own Brown v. Board of Ed to really make things right. Him being black, the argument was a good teaching moment.

  25. For some real yux at the expense of the Donalde, google up “Sasquatch Israel”. The link for Sadly, No! is your best bet.

  26. Funny how when people complain about how colleges are “full of liberals” trying to “indoctrinate our children” they don’t mention guys like this who are a lot more outspoken than nearly any of the “radical leftists” they like to point out.

  27. He just put up a new post, speculating that we want to murder him.
    As an added bonus, the post’s title “Homocide” cunningly (but subtly) suggests we might be gay as well.

    The man, clearly, is a giant of argument and rational thought. He looks to be moderating comments now, so I suspect anything that mildly disagrees with him will not go through.

    1. On the contrary, the title “Homocide,” in the context that we supposedly want to terminate him, cunningly and subtly suggests something else entirely.

  28. “Moral bankruptcy” only makes sense if you think morality is some sort of economic system, as our friend Mr Douglas seems to hold. A very strange economic system in which “morals” are like dollars, and you must carefully hoard your money and not go into “debt” too far, or your “credit rating” will suffer. And of course you only pay out your “moral dollars” if you commit arbitrary infractions of rules set down by millennium-old sheep herders, fishermen and ex-tax collectors, I guess. I’m really not following what the man means. It sounds like an obscure MMORPG, actually.

  29. “Homocide” really does sum it up, doesn’t it. It’s barely even offensive or threatening or even attributive, just a kind of muttering unclever pun that means almost nothing at all.

  30. Please don’t be hostile in his own comments, folks: it’s not at all reasonable to expect him to publish it (we wouldn’t!)

  31. Lovely, i thought USA was the nation of seperation of religion and state. Yet he manages to claim that Americans expect christian faith (tho other faiths may be acceptable, just show some kind of faith dammit) for their president (and first lady). Facepalm do not even begin to cover it…

  32. hilarious Cthulhu dildos = bad
    soft-core porn = good

    Ahh yes, moral decay, these Cthulhu dildos will contribute to the downfall of our great civilization, whereas giving huge tax breaks to the rich and simultaneously cutting public services for the poor will save us all.

  33. I just feel sorry for the man, he sounds very sad, isolated, and bitter. I do hope that he gets better soon.

  34. To use his logic in his critique of Ms. Edwards, I think it is “telling” that he does not list the Bible under his favorite books in his blogger profile. He must be a communist.

  35. Donalde’s a troll, but a reliably stupid one. Hard to sort out whether attention to him is a good thing – yucks at the expense of a dim bulb – or a bad thing – attention given to the most attention-hungry.

  36. “Creepily objectified totty”? On a site that just recently linked (favorably, I assume) to “Every issue of Playboy on a hard drive”?


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