TSA WTF OTD

What the I don't even... Found here. Thanks Erica!

UPDATE: This photo was taken by Trent Nelson, who is a friend of a friend (small world!). Of course I didn't know that when I posted it, as you can see from the link above where I found it there was no credit it. The photo is great, and the other photos by Trent are great too and he posted some back story on it and I'm psyched that the internets make finding connections and sources so easy, if a little after the fact. ;)

i like stuff

MORE: guestblog • security • Sex • Weird

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Big Herrm

He went to Jared!
- mdh
  
  it might be a regional joke, but well played, sir
NatWu

Would it be considered assault if I wet myself when they feel me up?
- sally599
  
  I’ve totally considered that option—its really hard to be offensive as a female. But then you’d need to change afterward and I have this vision of them moving you to a private room for a couple of hours just for kicks.
  - NatWu
    
    Sure, that’s why you do just 2 or 3 ounces at a time. I load up with a giant slurpee beforehand and I can keep it going for 24 hours. And then of course there’s the nuclear option. That’s right, I’m talking dumping a load, once they get you in the interrogation room. And smearing it all over the walls and yourself.
    
    Granted, you have to be able to abide this yourself, but if you’ve ever dealt with kids it can’t be that bad.
Anonymous

Maybe this should be the default protest action. Just drop your pants. Its transparency at its best!
Anonymous

“Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”
Thebes

Ray Bradbury was right, our country is in need of a revolution. Why the heck would someone even cooperate with this? Oh yeah, cuz if they don’t they’ll get tased or something.
franko

i see paris, i see france…
EH

In a sad commentary on how low the TSA hiring practices have fallen, this officer doesn’t even know what a priest looks like.
Chinese Jet Pilot

Both of the men in this photo are victims.
janusnode

I’m glad to see something about the TSA scandal. I was starting to think the Wikileaks scandal(s) had made us forget all about the TSA.
quitterjunior

Why is it that all the same people who give me crap about my gas mileage are now all uppity about their sudden god-given right to air travel? There is something decidedly conservative-minded about this liberal talking point. I am not the Maharaja of my SUV. That’s why everyone who rides in it gets to grope my balls.
Ari B.

“It is rather bulky, but I do like to consider it a carry-on…”
genre slur

Not flying to the States any time soon. I just finished recovery from being programmed as a Cristian, and I want to avoid any similar ‘imprints’.
Anonymous

Is this what you’re looking for? I’ve got a flight to catch.
KaiBeezy

.
i’m debating…
.
“these are not the ‘nads you’re looking for”
-or-
“these are not the ‘roids you’re looking for”
-or-
“this is not the groin you’re looking for”
.
move along
.
user23

“Kneel before my mighty Phallus & Worship!”
blueelm

This image… I think there’s a iconic poster in there somewhere.
CastanhasDoPara

Strangest marriage proposal ever.
- Bulone
  
  lol It’s not that strange….I mean it’s always good to know what you are getting before you make commitment.
- RadioSilence
  
  is he going to put a ring on it? :D
Patrick Crowley

I want that to be photoshopped, but you know it isn’t.

BTW…. there are so many of these security theater images, that I’ve decided to collect them all on my new blog:

The Daily Patdown
Anonymous

I hear next year the TSA will start issuing each officer windowless vans and a bags of candy. You know, give you some privacy and make you feel better.
grimc

Welp, this picture pretty much settles whether I’m flying home for the holidays.
bluescrubby

“Sorry sir, they can’t be more than six inches or they’re considered a weapon.”
- Anonymous
  
  that was freakin’ brilliant :D
Anonymous

Sir? Please turn your head and cough.
- johnphantom
  
  Yeah just wait for the “prostate” exams.
  
  /turned 40 recently, and due to family history I now have to consent to this in private with a real doctor
efergus3

Mmmmmmmmm thanks anyway, I think I’ll drive.
TJ S

Despite Larry’s best attempts at paint and spackle, the TSA agent din’t mistake the satchel of cocaine for a 3rd testicle.
Anonymous

..but what did the ring look like? and did he say yes?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  It was plain gold until he exposed it to backscatter radiation. Then it has some squiggly writing on it in a language that nobody could read. At any rate, he said, “I will take the ring.”
Chevan

If that airport is anything like RDU, that station they’re at is probably in full view of anyone passing by while leaving security.
- mausium
  
  “If that airport is anything like RDU, that station they’re at is probably in full view of anyone passing by while leaving security.”
  
  Of course it is. The stand is designed to humiliate patdown requestors and frighten/humiliate those passing by into full compliance.
efergus3

Mmmmmmmmm thanks anyway, I think I’ll drive.
inkfumes

Abandon all dignity, ye who enter here.

Personally I am a very shy person and I am not the type to even go half nude at the beach. I can’t imagine that I will ever board a plane again as long as these draconian search practices exist. I would rather build myself an expedition vehicle (my truck with a camper shell) and just drive around this continent than drop-trau in front of a TSA rep and the rest of the airport as well. We are just a step away from mandatory cavity searches. What really steams me about this whole issue is that we the american public are assumed to be guilty of terrorist intent just by the fact that we want to travel in a plane. When we go back to presuming innocence I will think about traveling by air, but until then I will roll on my own terms.
Chris Tucker

TO those who declared that they’re not visiting the U.S. anytime soon, due to the TSA gropery:

Can’t say as I blame you. I was born here. I can’t begin to describe how angry this make me and how embarrassed I am by all this.

“The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself!”

FDR said that in 1933. Only 77 years ago.

We are now a nation of cowards, scared of a boogyman hiding in a cave.
Anonymous

“Well it felt bomb-shaped…”
Stefan Jones

“Sorry, sir, I still can’t take your word that those are Depends. Now hold still while I give a little squeeze and see what trickles down your leg.”

“Yeah, that’s pee and not C4. Have a good day.”
TheCrawNotTheCraw

I’m slightly disappointed no one has wrapped a cucumber in tin foil, ala Spinal Tap’s “Derek Smalls.”

Their’s no prohibition against vegetables, and a cucumber is not a weapon.
- johnphantom
  
  “…a cucumber is not a weapon.”
  
  Wanna make a bet?
- TheCrawNotTheCraw
  
  Whoops…obvious damn typo: “*There’s* no prohibition etc.”
Anonymous

Stand back. I don’t know how big this thing gets.
Happler

Allow me to knight thee, Sir TSA Guard…
johnphantom

For years I’ve already drove to my destination whenever I can, usually from where I am to where I was born (family, friends) 1800 total miles there and back.

The problem for me is going to where I grew up. It’s an island in the Caribbean. I don’t relish the thought of dropping trou in public, because there is no alternative other than flying to get there.

It still gets me that a 16 year old could climb the fence of a major airline hub and stow away in the landing gear of a passenger jet, yet some people have no objection to undressing in public for “safety,” including allowing their children to be essentially molested.
- bhtooefr
  
  There aren’t ships that go to that island?
  - johnphantom
    
    Yes, but I am not going to pay for a cruise that I don’t want to go on to spend half a day there.
    
    /been on a lot of cruise ships, never on a cruise – one of my father’s businesses had a monopoly on selling bonded liquor to them
The Lizardman

Long before the porno scanners, I was told on more than occasion after setting off the walk through metal detector & then the hand wand metal detector that they would need to confirm by either sight or feel that the offending metal was not a prohibited item. I am guessing that this guy chose the sight option rather immediately and I applaud him for it.

Side note, it was never jewelry that caused the problem but usually heavy zippers, buttons, and the like
PixelFish

Hey, I got patted down in SLC just a few weeks ago coming back from Thanksgiving, and while airports all have that weird generic feeling to them, I somehow thought this was in the SLC airport even before I read the description. Maybe that TSA guy was in my screening area? He wasn’t my screener though, as I had a woman conduct my patdown. (I had two guards telling me that if I would just have picked another line, I wouldn’t have had to go through the scanner, and I wouldn’t have had to opt out. This is despite the fact that I was heading to the metal detector standing next to the scanner when they waved me over. They repeated this several times as if I would somehow realise that this patdown was ALL MY FAULT.)

And yes, the area where I was patted down was in plain view, although really if asked if I wanted privacy, I would have requested it be done right there. A) I’d prefer NOT to be alone in a room with a TSA agent. B) Might as well show where all this creeping security theatre is taking us. Blech.

I also have white, able-bodied, cis privilege. I’m not presenting as a gender people don’t associate with my genitalia. I’m not fat. I’m not carrying a prosthetic or medical device that could get damaged. (Well, I have my CPAP machine which I leave at home despite assurances that I’m supposed to be able to fly with it.) So it was a mild inconvenience for me, but for other people it will not be and on top of it all, I feel it is an unreasonable search violating my 4th amendment.
Anonymous

“No, I’ll wait until I can see the whole tattoo.”

“Oh. You really do have Prince Albert in a can.”

“Cool! Now make it nod.”
woid

And then they played Twister.
bklynchris

Osama for the win!
- johnphantom
  
  Damn right, bklynchris.
Anonymous

apparently the tsa agent was just trying to inspect this guys waist band when he willingly dropped his pants without being asked to, hilarious yes, a reason to quit flying altogether because u dont wanna drop ur pants in public? um….nope.
fnc

“Gas, grass, or ass. Nobody flies for free.”
Bryson

My guess is Piercings.

The look on the TSA agents face is priceless.
BookGuy

I thought for sure somebody would have beat me to this one. Fine, I’ll do it:

“Look at this banana. Just look at it.”
- twobeeshawn
  
  it HAD to be said, OR looking for a unicorn chaser in ALL the wrong places
Anonymous

/meatspin
Anonymous

HE SAID YES !!
Anonymous

“I’m sorry, I just figured the rules were the same here as when that undercover officer searched me in the turnpike restroom.”
g0d5m15t4k3

I watched FurryGirl’s video where she wore see through clothing then made her PUT ON a jacket to do the pat down. I wish this photographer had got a picture of her as her video was mostly of the inside of the x-ray machine.
jdollak

“Touch my junk, or I’ll sue.”
Mitch_M

I wouldn’t mind lowering my trousers much, but how often do do those guys change their gloves?
JimmerSD

These moments should be reserved for you and your wife…or your doctor… but not some guy with a porno mustache and a comb-over…that is unless you’re in to that kind of thing.

I think I’ve flown for the very last time.
Patrick Dodds

Thanks, I won’t be visiting your country again while this is in force.
Mitch_M

How are the male chastity devices showing up on the scanners?
http://www.cb-6000.com/
Anonymous

You have to request fresh gloves, or you’re essentially rubbing sacs with the previous inspectees.
Boba Fett Diop

“Does this look infected to you?”
- The Mudshark
  
  Nice one!
Amsterdaam

Took me about 5 seconds to research

http://www.trenthead.com/

This is the Photographer’s site, and a description of the circumstances of the photo. I’d post it here but I don’t want to deprive Mr. Head of his pageviews.
- Anonymous
  
  Excellent site, thanks for the link. I particularly liked the bison roundup photos.
- Anonymous
  
  That proves nothing. The photographer was quite far away he doesn’t know what was said or what the traveler was asked to do. The commentary on your link is his interpretation of what he saw.
trenthead

I took this photo for The Salt Lake Tribune the day before the opt-out day protest. It’s the Salt Lake City airport in Utah. Tried to ask the traveler some questions, but he ran off to his gate. The TSA guy seemed pretty surprised when the guy pulled his pants down. A surreal scene.
Anonymous

That’s got to go in checked baggage, sir.
Anonymous

Not saying it is, but there’s an extremely weird halo around the area where this guy’s exposed legs are. I converted this to JPG, saved it, and ran it through the “detector”. FWIW: http://errorlevelanalysis.com/permalink/d9ddea5/
- Robert
  
  That’s not a halo, that’s an edge. The same size or smaller than the “halos” around the footprints on the mat.
- Anonymous
  
  No, this photo is not fake. You’re either trolling or have no idea what you’re looking at with the image error analysis tool and should stop pretending you do.
  
  http://errorlevelanalysis.com/permalink/d9ddea5/
angusm

“No, I don’t think your boarding pass is in there, sir. Did you check your shirt pocket?”
lectroid

“Yeah, we don’t stock those. Gonna take at least a week to order parts…”