81 Responses to “TSA WTF OTD”

  1. Big Herrm says:

    He went to Jared!

  2. NatWu says:

    Would it be considered assault if I wet myself when they feel me up?

    • sally599 says:

      I’ve totally considered that option—its really hard to be offensive as a female. But then you’d need to change afterward and I have this vision of them moving you to a private room for a couple of hours just for kicks.

      • NatWu says:

        Sure, that’s why you do just 2 or 3 ounces at a time. I load up with a giant slurpee beforehand and I can keep it going for 24 hours. And then of course there’s the nuclear option. That’s right, I’m talking dumping a load, once they get you in the interrogation room. And smearing it all over the walls and yourself.

        Granted, you have to be able to abide this yourself, but if you’ve ever dealt with kids it can’t be that bad.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Maybe this should be the default protest action. Just drop your pants. Its transparency at its best!

  4. Anonymous says:

    “Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

  5. Thebes says:

    Ray Bradbury was right, our country is in need of a revolution. Why the heck would someone even cooperate with this? Oh yeah, cuz if they don’t they’ll get tased or something.

  6. franko says:

    i see paris, i see france…

  7. EH says:

    In a sad commentary on how low the TSA hiring practices have fallen, this officer doesn’t even know what a priest looks like.

  8. Chinese Jet Pilot says:

    Both of the men in this photo are victims.

  9. janusnode says:

    I’m glad to see something about the TSA scandal. I was starting to think the Wikileaks scandal(s) had made us forget all about the TSA.

  10. quitterjunior says:

    Why is it that all the same people who give me crap about my gas mileage are now all uppity about their sudden god-given right to air travel? There is something decidedly conservative-minded about this liberal talking point. I am not the Maharaja of my SUV. That’s why everyone who rides in it gets to grope my balls.

  11. Ari B. says:

    “It is rather bulky, but I do like to consider it a carry-on…”

  12. genre slur says:

    Not flying to the States any time soon. I just finished recovery from being programmed as a Cristian, and I want to avoid any similar ‘imprints’.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Is this what you’re looking for? I’ve got a flight to catch.

  14. KaiBeezy says:

    i’m debating…
    “these are not the ‘nads you’re looking for”
    “these are not the ‘roids you’re looking for”
    “this is not the groin you’re looking for”
    move along

  15. user23 says:

    “Kneel before my mighty Phallus & Worship!”

  16. blueelm says:

    This image… I think there’s a iconic poster in there somewhere.

  17. CastanhasDoPara says:

    Strangest marriage proposal ever.

  18. Patrick Crowley says:

    I want that to be photoshopped, but you know it isn’t.

    BTW…. there are so many of these security theater images, that I’ve decided to collect them all on my new blog:

    The Daily Patdown

  19. Anonymous says:

    I hear next year the TSA will start issuing each officer windowless vans and a bags of candy. You know, give you some privacy and make you feel better.

  20. grimc says:

    Welp, this picture pretty much settles whether I’m flying home for the holidays.

  21. bluescrubby says:

    “Sorry sir, they can’t be more than six inches or they’re considered a weapon.”

  22. Anonymous says:

    Sir? Please turn your head and cough.

    • johnphantom says:

      Yeah just wait for the “prostate” exams.

      /turned 40 recently, and due to family history I now have to consent to this in private with a real doctor

  23. efergus3 says:

    Mmmmmmmmm thanks anyway, I think I’ll drive.

  24. TJ S says:

    Despite Larry’s best attempts at paint and spackle, the TSA agent din’t mistake the satchel of cocaine for a 3rd testicle.

  25. Anonymous says:

    ..but what did the ring look like? and did he say yes?

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      It was plain gold until he exposed it to backscatter radiation. Then it has some squiggly writing on it in a language that nobody could read. At any rate, he said, “I will take the ring.”

  26. Chevan says:

    If that airport is anything like RDU, that station they’re at is probably in full view of anyone passing by while leaving security.

    • mausium says:

      “If that airport is anything like RDU, that station they’re at is probably in full view of anyone passing by while leaving security.”

      Of course it is. The stand is designed to humiliate patdown requestors and frighten/humiliate those passing by into full compliance.

  27. efergus3 says:

    Mmmmmmmmm thanks anyway, I think I’ll drive.

  28. inkfumes says:

    Abandon all dignity, ye who enter here.

    Personally I am a very shy person and I am not the type to even go half nude at the beach. I can’t imagine that I will ever board a plane again as long as these draconian search practices exist. I would rather build myself an expedition vehicle (my truck with a camper shell) and just drive around this continent than drop-trau in front of a TSA rep and the rest of the airport as well. We are just a step away from mandatory cavity searches. What really steams me about this whole issue is that we the american public are assumed to be guilty of terrorist intent just by the fact that we want to travel in a plane. When we go back to presuming innocence I will think about traveling by air, but until then I will roll on my own terms.

  29. Chris Tucker says:

    TO those who declared that they’re not visiting the U.S. anytime soon, due to the TSA gropery:

    Can’t say as I blame you. I was born here. I can’t begin to describe how angry this make me and how embarrassed I am by all this.

    “The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself!”

    FDR said that in 1933. Only 77 years ago.

    We are now a nation of cowards, scared of a boogyman hiding in a cave.

  30. Anonymous says:

    “Well it felt bomb-shaped…”

  31. Stefan Jones says:

    “Sorry, sir, I still can’t take your word that those are Depends. Now hold still while I give a little squeeze and see what trickles down your leg.”

    “Yeah, that’s pee and not C4. Have a good day.”

  32. TheCrawNotTheCraw says:

    I’m slightly disappointed no one has wrapped a cucumber in tin foil, ala Spinal Tap’s “Derek Smalls.”

    Their’s no prohibition against vegetables, and a cucumber is not a weapon.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Stand back. I don’t know how big this thing gets.

  34. Happler says:

    Allow me to knight thee, Sir TSA Guard…

  35. johnphantom says:

    For years I’ve already drove to my destination whenever I can, usually from where I am to where I was born (family, friends) 1800 total miles there and back.

    The problem for me is going to where I grew up. It’s an island in the Caribbean. I don’t relish the thought of dropping trou in public, because there is no alternative other than flying to get there.

    It still gets me that a 16 year old could climb the fence of a major airline hub and stow away in the landing gear of a passenger jet, yet some people have no objection to undressing in public for “safety,” including allowing their children to be essentially molested.

    • bhtooefr says:

      There aren’t ships that go to that island?

      • johnphantom says:

        Yes, but I am not going to pay for a cruise that I don’t want to go on to spend half a day there.

        /been on a lot of cruise ships, never on a cruise – one of my father’s businesses had a monopoly on selling bonded liquor to them

  36. The Lizardman says:

    Long before the porno scanners, I was told on more than occasion after setting off the walk through metal detector & then the hand wand metal detector that they would need to confirm by either sight or feel that the offending metal was not a prohibited item. I am guessing that this guy chose the sight option rather immediately and I applaud him for it.

    Side note, it was never jewelry that caused the problem but usually heavy zippers, buttons, and the like

  37. PixelFish says:

    Hey, I got patted down in SLC just a few weeks ago coming back from Thanksgiving, and while airports all have that weird generic feeling to them, I somehow thought this was in the SLC airport even before I read the description. Maybe that TSA guy was in my screening area? He wasn’t my screener though, as I had a woman conduct my patdown. (I had two guards telling me that if I would just have picked another line, I wouldn’t have had to go through the scanner, and I wouldn’t have had to opt out. This is despite the fact that I was heading to the metal detector standing next to the scanner when they waved me over. They repeated this several times as if I would somehow realise that this patdown was ALL MY FAULT.)

    And yes, the area where I was patted down was in plain view, although really if asked if I wanted privacy, I would have requested it be done right there. A) I’d prefer NOT to be alone in a room with a TSA agent. B) Might as well show where all this creeping security theatre is taking us. Blech.

    I also have white, able-bodied, cis privilege. I’m not presenting as a gender people don’t associate with my genitalia. I’m not fat. I’m not carrying a prosthetic or medical device that could get damaged. (Well, I have my CPAP machine which I leave at home despite assurances that I’m supposed to be able to fly with it.) So it was a mild inconvenience for me, but for other people it will not be and on top of it all, I feel it is an unreasonable search violating my 4th amendment.

  38. Anonymous says:

    “No, I’ll wait until I can see the whole tattoo.”

    “Oh. You really do have Prince Albert in a can.”

    “Cool! Now make it nod.”

  39. woid says:

    And then they played Twister.

  40. bklynchris says:

    Osama for the win!

  41. Anonymous says:

    apparently the tsa agent was just trying to inspect this guys waist band when he willingly dropped his pants without being asked to, hilarious yes, a reason to quit flying altogether because u dont wanna drop ur pants in public? um….nope.

  42. fnc says:

    “Gas, grass, or ass. Nobody flies for free.”

  43. Bryson says:

    My guess is Piercings.

    The look on the TSA agents face is priceless.

  44. BookGuy says:

    I thought for sure somebody would have beat me to this one. Fine, I’ll do it:

    “Look at this banana. Just look at it.”

  45. Anonymous says:


  46. Anonymous says:

    HE SAID YES !!

  47. Anonymous says:

    “I’m sorry, I just figured the rules were the same here as when that undercover officer searched me in the turnpike restroom.”

  48. g0d5m15t4k3 says:

    I watched FurryGirl’s video where she wore see through clothing then made her PUT ON a jacket to do the pat down. I wish this photographer had got a picture of her as her video was mostly of the inside of the x-ray machine.

  49. jdollak says:

    “Touch my junk, or I’ll sue.”

  50. Mitch_M says:

    I wouldn’t mind lowering my trousers much, but how often do do those guys change their gloves?

  51. JimmerSD says:

    These moments should be reserved for you and your wife…or your doctor… but not some guy with a porno mustache and a comb-over…that is unless you’re in to that kind of thing.

    I think I’ve flown for the very last time.

  52. Patrick Dodds says:

    Thanks, I won’t be visiting your country again while this is in force.

  53. Mitch_M says:

    How are the male chastity devices showing up on the scanners?

  54. Anonymous says:

    You have to request fresh gloves, or you’re essentially rubbing sacs with the previous inspectees.

  55. Boba Fett Diop says:

    “Does this look infected to you?”

  56. Amsterdaam says:

    Took me about 5 seconds to research


    This is the Photographer’s site, and a description of the circumstances of the photo. I’d post it here but I don’t want to deprive Mr. Head of his pageviews.

    • Anonymous says:

      Excellent site, thanks for the link. I particularly liked the bison roundup photos.

    • Anonymous says:

      That proves nothing. The photographer was quite far away he doesn’t know what was said or what the traveler was asked to do. The commentary on your link is his interpretation of what he saw.

  57. trenthead says:

    I took this photo for The Salt Lake Tribune the day before the opt-out day protest. It’s the Salt Lake City airport in Utah. Tried to ask the traveler some questions, but he ran off to his gate. The TSA guy seemed pretty surprised when the guy pulled his pants down. A surreal scene.

  58. Anonymous says:

    That’s got to go in checked baggage, sir.

  59. Anonymous says:

    Not saying it is, but there’s an extremely weird halo around the area where this guy’s exposed legs are. I converted this to JPG, saved it, and ran it through the “detector”. FWIW: http://errorlevelanalysis.com/permalink/d9ddea5/

  60. angusm says:

    “No, I don’t think your boarding pass is in there, sir. Did you check your shirt pocket?”

  61. lectroid says:

    “Yeah, we don’t stock those. Gonna take at least a week to order parts…”

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