How a little girl's Christmas pageant with punch was ruined by Kenny Loggins

From the always insanely funny Hyperbole and a Half, a touching story of a little girl's demented attempt to produce a homebrew Christmas pageant with punch, ruined by unhelpful relatives and Kenny Loggins.

My mom, always wanting to nurture my creative side, agreed on behalf of everyone that we should go forward with the production. I would be playing the part of Mary and my dad would be Joseph. My aunt and my grandma would play the wise men. My mom would be filming. The dogs were slated to play the animals in the manger, but they kept trying to chew the eyes off of the doll I'd chosen to play Jesus, so their parts were cut and they were relegated to the bedroom for the duration of the production.

Once I had assigned everyone their parts, we set about the task of gathering costumes and props. Joseph was outfitted in a brown bath robe and Mary wore a blue blanket over her head like a cloak. The wise men, who were heavily intoxicated at that point in the evening, decided to dress themselves like gypsies.

I felt that the struggles of my character, Mary, needed to be emphasized. The audience really needed to understand that she was suffering. I constructed my costume accordingly.

The Year Kenny Loggins Ruined Christmas (Thanks, Marilyn, via Submitterator)