I get better spam than you

Posted here, verbatim, is an example of the sort of spam I get.

hello

I am China dinosaur factory .Hope that you know our product more .Also hope that we can establish long-term cooperative relation.

User Manual

1. Examine all the interfaces.

2. Connected to the 220V AC power when all interfaces ready, turn the power switch and then products start to work.

3. There is an infrared sensors in the control box, it will going to standby when nobody come by after a regular working. When someone approach the infrared sensor, products will start to work----make sound and movements.

4. Please check and maintenance products on a regular time to ensure it can work normally. Maintenance Steps

1. Machine does not work.

a. Make sure the voltage, motor voltage, single-chip voltage work well
b. Make sure single-chip works well)
c. When voltage works well, check whether the infrared sensors works well

2. When lack of several action/movements
a. First check whether the corresponding fuse works well.
b. Check whether corresponding output voltage works well
c. If no sound, check whether the positive, Amplifier works well: Whether chip of record voice 1760 of the 5V voltage work well and check the external circuit.

The video was attached to the email as a giant .wmv file.

• [Anonymous]

  I’m not sure that, that video would encourage me to buy Cialis from them…?

• [Ant]

  Oooh, giant red and black ants! on http://www.zgfff.com/chanpin/fzkc/2009/2/09281519155743.html or http://cdkf.cn/chanpin/fzkc/2009/2/09281519155743.html … :)

• [Anonymous]

  Beats emails for penis pills.

  Oh god, I hope all these messages aren’t from the same company.

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  Ha! That was exactly my subject line when I forwarded this one to my friends.

• [mdotstrange]

  I don’t if you get better spam than me… MEGADIK used to send me poetry in the form of spam.. I called it SPLAM POETRY http://bit.ly/eEpwSA

• [henghog]

  I think this also needs to be under the category of cool tools!

• [johnnyaction]

  I wonder what the odds are that the first contact with aliens will involve us trying to sell stuff to each other.

• [mdh]

  The real news here is that Chinese spambots are now carnivorous.

• [henghog]

  The songs in the video are:
  (In order)
  Enigma: Return to innocence,
  Enigma: Sadness,
  Enigma Turn Around.

• [knoxblox]

  Well, who doesn’t need a robot dinosaur from time to time?

• [Knurm]

  Hearing Return to Innocence by Enigma completely brought me back to being four years old and watching Chevy Chase, Farrah Fawcett, and JTT in the timeless family classic, Man of the House.

  Thank you, truly.

• [querent]

  Well, they got a single post at least. :)

  I tried to build one of these when I was a kid. I didn’t get very far.

• [markbellis]

  Weird, one of the first spams I ever got in the late 90s was from this company (or another Chinese dinosaur company, if there is one).

• [MilliePlateaux]

  I got that one too!! So weird. Mine had an additional line:
  “Remark: Please refer to the exhibits maintenance repair circuit of the above steps”

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  The California Academy of Sciences in GG Park used to (maybe still does) have three velociraptors running in a pack. I really wanted to take them home.

• [mathdemon]

  Is that the whole user manual? They sure want you to fiddle around with the electricity if nothing works. These hardcore Chinese don’t even care about safety it seems.

• [Anonymous]

  “Gibson said no, pretty emphatically. He remains fascinated with Japanese culture, both then and now—but has no real interest in China.”

• [webmonkees]

  That beats the spam I got asking for financial assistance to film a movie Bear Beer Deer Dear and then it got weird.

  Follow up on this. The BB offices need a T-Rex.

• [Anonymous]

  Ah, now I know from where to order a custom-built Dinosaur sex doll. Thanks!

  • [Anonymous]

    If you used that as a dinosaur sex doll, you might also be interested in the M4ke ur pen1s b1gger pills, because you’ll need them. Unless you want a smaller version. In that case, your ideas intrigue me and I wish to sign up for your newsletter. Badly.

• [alllie]

  Nice garden ornaments.

  But the Rex doesn’t look balanced to me. A Rex would carry more of his weight directly over his legs, not bent like that.

• [fatuousplatitudes]

  Yea, yea, but it’s the giant PedoBear that really get me:
  http://www.cdkf.cn/chanpin/fzdw/2010/8/108231357537547.html

• [Maggie Koerth-Baker]

  Ha! I was going to post this this morning.

  Last night I showed it to my husband. His response, “So … you’re going to pretend that you’re NOT the kind of person who’d buy a giant, Animatronic dinosaur?”

• [franko]

  well, i’m sold. i want one.

  • [Anonymous]

    No way, it’d be fun for the first day or two, but then it’ll turn into a much louder “Big Mouth Billy Bass” and will just gather dust and tears in its “skin.”

• [arikol]

  well, are you going to forward the contact details or not. Some of us here have been searching for YEARS for China dinosaur factory!

  @Maggie
  LOL, spouses tend to know our weaknesses ;)

• [Anonymous]

  I want the T-Rex with the seat!
  (Though the seat would probably look better if it was made to look like a leather/wood saddle.)

• [Doran]

  Clearly I need to start reading more of the spam I get.

• [jimkirk]

  If the T-rex with seat mount could bipedally locomote at, say 15 to 25 mph, I would love to commute on it (using back roads, of course).

  And those giant hatched eggs around 10:30 would make a great alternative to office cubicles.

  • [tunnybell]

    Commute-a-saurus? Mwahhh! Now you’re talking!

• [Kerouac]

  I’m disappointed these are 220v. I could hook into the 220v box I have in the back of the house (for the hot tub), but I would much rather have dinosaurs roaming the front yard, by the street.

• [andyhavens]

  Wait a second… my one-man band in college was named “Chinese Dinosaur Factory.” I used to open up my act by screaming:

  “I AM CHINESE DINOSAUR FACTORY!!!”

  And then descending into musical madness.

  These guys totally ripped me off.

• [Anonymous]

  When I grow up, I want to be China dinosaur factory too!

• [Lobster]

  I got my alias from a spam e-mail. It was from one Knightly Q. Blowguns. :D

• [Van Diemen]

  Sounds like an employee is eaten by a velociraptor at 8:40.

• [Robert]

  Didja see that they also make giant bugs? That place is cool, if spammy. Want.

• [Variable Rush]

  Screw getting a guard dog, I want a guard T-Rex!

• [Variable Rush]

  Come to think of it, at around 9:30 in the video, there’s footage of what appears to be a museum. I remember some time ago one of our local museums had a dinosaur exhibit that looked like those same dinosaurs. I’ll see if I can find the pictures I took and post them here so y’all can check them out.

• [Bill Beaty]

  Oh no! We all revealed spammers everywhere they now know the secret to selling at stupid USA peoples, even get to BoingBoing:

  - Three photos attachment!
  - Instruction Manual!
  - Video file! ( WMV only)

  Works with dinosaur? So now try Cialis

• [Monkeyfarm]

  Can anyone decipher the prices of these things? They seem to all be in QQ/Q Coin values and I can’t find a conversion of QQ to $$

  • [Robert]

    QQ is an instant messaging service in China. The code is the QQ identifier. So you have to contact them for a price.

• [Anonymous]

  Wow. Their sides move as if they are breathing!

  WANT.

• [FreakCitySF]

  How much for a Robo Xeni riding a unicorn rodeo style?

• [Pixel]

  I thought the animatronics were neat, and I was impressed at how many articulations they had & such.

  Then I got to the shots of a T-Rex with a seat bolted to it’s back and my inner 8 year old went HOLEY COW! I WANT TO RIDE THE DINOSAUR!!

  I wonder how much chinese knockoff dinosaurs go for…