Fake New York Times article is the most perfect fake New York Times article ever

The most-emailed New York Times article of all times. (The Awl)


  1. I won’t believe it until the comment section is filled up with posters from “fly-over country” pronouncing angry judgments against the liberal elitism of NY Times articles.

    1. We used to just turn the NY-type attitude towards us here in flyover country into positives, or at least sometimes we did. The Saint Paul Winter Carnival is an example of that. The rest of the time we just added snarkiness to newspaper articles, such as an editor adding a by-line referring to Oscar Wilde as an “Ass-thete” in the Minneapolis Tribune in 1882.

    2. Not all of us in fly-over country are Rush-worshipping inbred morons. (Only most of us.) So stop with that generalizing, you effete pate-licking Prius-driving chardonnay-swilling liberal hippie, you!

  2. Okay, so you hide the post’s real title in here, in Commentland!

    Man, you had me wondering… I truly thought someone must have lost a serious bag of marbles. Glad I caught the “fake” headline before I went and embarrassed myself with several lines of WTFness!

  3. Best line from the story:

    “Like many of the ibex farms sprouting up across the northeastern United States, Yael offers an intensive Chinese-language immersion course.”

  4. I guess I don’t get the joke about how rich white people actually do shit like this and think better of themselves because of it. I guess “it’s funny because it’s true” applies here but all it did was make me depressed that I am lower middle class on the edge of poor.

    1. rich white people actually do shit like this

      Do they? Well, if anything, that makes me glad I’m not rich. I’ve seen an ibex or two in my time, and I’d just as soon keep my distance from those foul-tempered, flatulent lawnmowers.

    2. I assumed it was mostly about how NYT feature writers, like many of their compatriots, have someone with a whip standing over them shouting “More colour!”

      (I used British spelling to emphasise I am not in fact a reader of the NYT.)

  5. One minor quibble on this otherwise brilliant parody: Shouldn’t our dear protagonist, special unique flower that she is, be trying to decide between the rigor and prestige of a top ranked Ivy and the opportunities for unconventional personal growth and close intellectual engagement with a group of lifelong learning peers offered by one of the New England Small Liberal Arts schools(one of the ones you wouldn’t be ashamed to have on your CV, of course)?

    To be sure, everybody who is worth writing an article about considers Harvard and Yale; but some people just don’t find these institutions to be sufficiently nurturing of their individual uniqueness…

    1. My little sister is in her bocce club. She says that Anna is indeed not considering any other American university but Yale or Harvard. Anna is apparently quite insistent that if you’re going to go somewhere ordinary it might as well be the best. It seems very likely however that she won’t go to university at all but instead will be training under Yanashi Yo in the ancient art of making washi, traditional Japanese origami paper. Yo is famed for making the best washi in the world, so perfect that to actually fold it would be sacrilege. Instead all of her washi is burnt over the ocean in a ceremony known only to herself and her apprentices.

  6. Well played, especially in light of the book that NYT columnist David F. Brooks has just written about the “Composure Class.” If you thought the Bourgeois Bohemians were insufferable…

  7. For the slower people here in fly over country, like myself, read the title above the comments section, then it all makes sense.

    It really is a great lampoonization of liberal elite. Andyhavens nailed the funniest line above.

    Nicely done.

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