I was looking at my Amazon affiliate sales report just now, and I noticed that someone bought a product called "liquid ass" for $5.12. I wondered what it could be, so I clicked the link. Here's what I learned:
This 30ml (1 fl oz) Liquid ASS spray bottle mists out silently, emitting a mega-powerful gawd-awful ASS smell that can last for hours. Brings an instant punch of vile ASS odor to any location! FAA regulations currently allow travelers to carry liquids on board in containers holding 100ml (3.4oz) or less ... but that's only because the folks at the Department of Homeland Security have never caught a whiff of liquid ASS! So order today, before this weapon of nasal destruction is banned from any enclosed space.
• Highly concentrated, super-horrible smelling fart spray
• Smells like ASS ... only worse
• 30ml (1 fl oz) size enough for many room-evacuating emissions
• Bring the vile nauseating stench of ASS to your next party or office meeting
• Simple application instructions are printed onto the bottle
Of course, the Amazon report does not tell me who bought the bottle of Liquid Ass, which is as it should be. But I would love to have the person who bought this stuff explain why he or she bought it. Please let me know in the comments thread!
A very bad man in Maine is charged with a very weird murder. Prosecutors say Bruce Akers used a machete to try and decapitate a neighbor (is “nearly decapitating” worse? because that’s what happened), then buried the victim’s remains together with the partially decomposed carcasses of deer he killed previously. Yep.
The RNC in Cleveland isn’t the only unhinged, drunken, drug-fueled marathon party going on this week. Starting today, thousands of Juggalos and Juggalettes gather in Thornville, Ohio, to participate in the 17th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, which runs through Saturday. Each year at the Gathering, fans of Insane Clown Posse gather to celebrate the […]
Last week, a motorcyclist tragically died on a highway near Stanton, Kentucky. A fellow nearby, Saul Vazquez, snapped a photo of the scene from his truck and was surprised to see what appears to be an apparition floating above the deceased. Vazquez posted the image on Facebook but when reached by Lex18 news reporters would […]
Looks like all of your potential employers are hiring candidates with programming skills (which you don’t have). With all of the languages out there today, it’s tough to know where to start.With the Complete Front-End to Back-End Coding Bundle, you can beef your resume up in all the right places, no confusion necessary. This package of […]
Those of us who love music wish we could listen to it 24/7. But it’s impossible when we’re trying to converse with our friends, or when are swimming in the local pool.That is, until now. The KOAR Bone Conduction Bluetooth Headset, now 48% off, has changed the audio game.Made with lightweight titanium memory metal, this headset boasts patented bone conduction technology to transport sound […]
It’s one thing to enjoy dinner at home and a nice glass of Cabernet Sauvignon with your best friend, Netflix, but it’s another thing entirely to make that meal from scratch and get that wine delivered right to your doorstep.But what if we told you there’s a way to make this possible? To keep your social life, […]