Goofy: How To Play Football (1944)

The sum of my knowledge on the subject.

• [Snig]

  These old Disney’s do hold up pretty well. My daughter and I have recently been watching the one’s from the 1930′s to 50′s. In “Ye Olden Days” Mickey and Goofy are trying to run each other through with lance and spear for Minnie’s affections, something that might not make it on the screen today.

• [turn_self_off]

  works even better without the motormouth commentator…

  Btw, i find myself thinking about that hold “bread and circus”. Especially when i read about the special ads and half time show. Is it about the sport, or is it about the corporate capitalism?

  • [Jack]

    Btw, i find myself thinking about that hold “bread and circus”. Especially when i read about the special ads and half time show. Is it about the sport, or is it about the corporate capitalism?

    Complaining about sports being about capitalism is childish. Even little league games are about capitalism. A lemonade stand is about capitalism. It’s all about tribalism and testosterone with very little gameplay worth talking about.

    Interesting thought: The Packers are named after meat packers. And the Steelers are named after steel workers. What do they have in common? Both are dying American industries whose legacy only lives on in memories, photos and sports team names.

    Major props to the Packers for being collectively owned by the folks of Green Bay. But past that, I find American sports to be soulless and disconnected from any real human spirt. Ditto with baseball.

    • [turn_self_off]

      If it was sport for sports sake i would understand it, but this looks so much like a circus show with some sports elements. And the consumerist capitalist aspect comes to me from having special product/brand ads to run during “half time” or whatever.

• [RyanH]

  The old Disney stuff really has more in common with Itchy & Scratchy than it does with Snow White

• [aelfscine]

  When I was in third grade I gave a report on skiing that was based *entirely* on Goofy’s guide to skiing, from around this same time period, and I got an A.

• [facetedjewel]

  Wow! – still funny, and neither the game or good animation has changed all that much. Through the whole cartoon, I kept thinking George Clooney looks like Goofy.

  I thought the ‘motormouth’ commentator made the cartoon funnier.

• [Ant]

  These old toons still rule.

  Is there a basketball one too? ;)

• [Anonymous]

  just play rugby. all you need is the ball.

• [Philbert]

  But… that’s not football! It’s handegg!

• [snakedart]

  I’ve often wondered why Goofy sometimes appeared in shorts with the other main Disney players (Mickey, Donald, et. al.), and other times in a parallel Disneyverse populated by millions of clones of himself.

• [Emo Pinata]

  This was a great clip, and a terrific satire of college football that even fits today.

  @Jack: If American sports are souless, then where does that leave European soccer clubs? Or even Japanese baseball clubs? The NBA may be the closest to souless the US has, and there’s plenty of international sports I would put before that.

• [max]

  this is shear brilliance. i resent people who say cartoons rot your brain.

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  Note to self: don’t ask David to explain “negotiating the safety.”

• [Wickedashtray]

  Re: Super Bowl- *cue Kevin Meany voice* “I don’t caaare, I don’t caareeee, I don’t caaare ….HE DOESN’T CARE!”

• [Bloo]

  Another amusing football story: “What It Was, Was Football” by Andy Griffith (pre-Andy Taylor)

• [PlaneShaper]

  After watching the game tonight, I can safely say I’m surprised at how little has changed since 1944.

  Anyone else?

• [theLadyfingers]

  I have a reflexive dislike of most Disney stuff, but I really would like a Blu-ray box of these shorts. The animation is gorgeous.

• [hrfloyd]

  From what I gather, here is what is going on.
   
  Some dude takes possession of a hand-egg by squatting over it and spreading his legs. He then simulates the laying of a chicken egg by expressing this hand-egg from behind his buttocks. Another dude then takes possession of the hand-egg and immediately becomes the target of murderous, chaotic violence.
   
  This guy wants nothing more than to get rid of the hand-egg lest he suffer his nineteenth concussion after giant men who are angry and covetous of he who possesses the hand-egg attempt to hit him hard enough to tear his head from his body. Should this happen there is much joy expressed by observers of this “bowl.”
   
  So this man can do a number of things.
   
  He can “hand off” the hand-egg to some other dude who then scrambles like an egg, if you will (and I do not know why you would), as he is now the subject of all kinds of brutal hate and violence. The covetous ones are angrier now as they were unable to commit violence upon the initial possessor of the hand-egg and have thus failed in the eyes of their keepers, aka “owners/coaches/fans”.
   
  He runs around trying to avoid those who covet the hand-egg until he is overtaken by them, or unless has the good sense to cross a boundary which prohibits the covetous ones from committing acts of violence upon him. They refer to this as the “side-line.”
   
  Most of the time he just gets mauled by very angry people after making it perhaps 3 or 4 yards hence. This is considered an acceptable achievement.
   
  Alternatively, the dude who is first given the hand-egg may just throw that fucker into the air to some other guy who is so about to get his head torn off if he is not clear of any of the covetous ones.
   
  If he should “catch” the hand-egg he may also avoid horrible, horrible physical pain by crossing the “all violence must cease” boundary, or he may run like the devil is biting at his ass until he crosses a separate and more desirable line referred to as the “end-zone.”
   
  It is called this because it signals the end of all violence. If violence is wrought upon one who has entered this end-zone, scorn is heaped upon the offender and some guy throws a yellow kerchief in the air.
   
  Monetary fines and suspension of one’s license to commit physical violence may be suspended for a period of time not to exceed that of one who subjects canines to electrocution and rape stands.
   
  Upon entering this zone one may be tempted to celebrate his having avoided being the subject of assault. Assault which, if not committed upon “the gridiron” as it is sometimes referred, would certainly land a man in prison for a very long time, but this temptation to celebrate must be tempered, for it may also be just cause for the yellow kerchief to be tossed asunder.
   
  Points are awarded to those most adept at both avoiding and causing the violence, and completely worthless trophies shaped as hand-eggs are given to the victors. First to the owners of the victors, then to the actual victorious ones who will be lucky to even look at it in person let alone touch it.
   
  Should they lay hands upon it their finger-grease will quickly be swiffered away.
   
  It will be displayed at a place referred to as “the front office” until the hand-egg competition commences again one year hence.
   
  And apparently fun, kitschy, yet completely forgetful short films are shown in between the “action.” The makers of these films pay into the millions to have them shown during the “you best give me that hand-egg” showdown.
   
  At least that’s my understanding of what just happened.
   
  Apparently, hats simulating cheese are involved.
   
   
  (subject to edit)

  • [facetedjewel]

    The best summary of the game of ‘hand-egg’ I’ve ever read…and very funny. Looking forward to more of your posts, hrfloyd.