/ David Pescovitz / 8:54 pm Fri Mar 18, 2011

The debate that killed DC Comics blog comments

Www.Comicsalliance.Com Media 2011 03 Source02
DC Comics apparently shut down commenting on its blog The Source after things got ugly in a thread about an eternal question: Who runs faster, Superman or The Flash? "DC's Blog Closes Comments, Gives Up On Even Trying To Talk to You Jerks" (Comics Alliance via @mattsinger, thanks Mark!)

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    1. Pesco, don’t belittle how tough Antinous’ job is. Where do you think all the flamers and battlers are going to come to?
      The length of this thread might rival that of Untitled1.
      :D

    1. Sheldon wins that one, as he gets to be Flash and Raj gets stuck as Aquaman again.

      Oh man, I laughed so damn hard when I saw him in that costume.

  11. And if they both really are running and not flying, why does Superman have his arms stretched out like that? He’s running like a girl.

      1. This was dealt with in one of “The Straight Dope” books by “Cecil Adams”: unfortunately it doesn’t seem to have made it into the online index yet and I haven’t made it through all the bools this morning. Basically, a question came up involving the mojo of various characters in the Marvel universe and Cecil got hold of a SF writer who had worked at Marvel (Arthur Byron Cover?) and had kept the official “who’s stronger” list he’d been given. According to the list at that time Thor was strongest, then The Hulk–I believe that Spiderman was at #5.

    3. Easy, the Hulk gets stronger the angrier he gets and Thor generally stays the same lest he lose control and become unworthy of weilding mjolinar. Ultimatly the Hulk will win.

  13. Good riddance. With all the astroturfing going on these days, comments are no longer representative of real folks’ opinions anyway. (BB’s excepted, of course. :)

  16. Only 37 comments? They need to remember who asked the question and requested comments. A rather boring discussion if you ask me. BB is far more interesting and that’s before the moderators weigh in.

  18. I guess it depends on how you define “fastest”

    I’ve never seen Superman vibrate his molecules fast enough to move through solid objects.

    Then again I’ve never seen the Flash reverse the earths rotation and turn back time.

    2. While Betty is a nice gal, deep down in depths of your soul, you *know* that Wilma is the one who’ll do the real dirty stuff…

    3. Oh, puh-leeze.

      Betty is a DISH!

      Mary Poppins or Morticia Addams (the TV one, not the movie hag)?

      2. Mary Poppins or Morticia Addams?

        Actress beauty: Julie Andrews > Carolyn Jones
        Life Partner/Friend: Morticia > Mary
        Mother to my children: Morticia > Mary

        Looks like we’re doing the mamushka tonight!

  20. Feh, the answer is neither.

    The answer is the Black Racer. He personifies death, even to speedsters. He is inevitability, can’t outrun that.

    Also, he has skis, and therefore, wins.

  21. On a related note, I’m delighted that DC has brought back the good old fashioned Letters Page! Adds a little something more than a full-page ad.

  22. The real answer is obvious since both Flash and Superman are only fictional characters, the answer is neither. They just colorful dots on cheap paper. Hey stop looking at me like that!

  23. What if Spider-Man hit on Lois Lane and Aunt May found out and then sold the exclusive to the Daily Bugle but Clark Kent couldn’t say anything to his Daily Planet editors or risk revealing his identity. Would he get fired from the Daily Planet?

  24. Superman: Hello, ladies. Look at The Flash. Now back to me. Now back at The Flash. Now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped wearing pink ladies’ tennis shoes and was born on Krypton, he could run like he’s me.

  25. I mean really, Superman is the guy who can travel so fast he can make the Earth go back in time in his wake. The Flash is an obscure third-tier superhero with no such powers. There isn’t even a reasonable debate here.

  28. I don’t see how that qualifies as a flamewar. Sure it’s not very civil, but I’m guessing something more is going on behind the scenes. JMS is notoriously thin-skinned about usenet/blog/forum criticism. Perhaps his ego became involved somehow?

  30. I love this! Listen, kids: I was 7 years old when Superman was born, 8 when The Batman dropped from the sky. By the time I was 9 the argument on the stoop was about who was toughest, Superman or Batman? I’m proud to have been part of the first serious DC debate. The Flash was just a skinny guy with a dorky helmet and sissy shoes, one of the many second-tier punks who filled the rest of the 64 pages after the two big studs were through kicking ass.

    ”You can’t get to heaven with Superman
    ’cause The Lord is a Batman fan.”

    We all outgrew that shit by the time we discovered girls.

    1. “We all outgrew that shit by the time we discovered girls.”

      I think the mystery has been solved.

  31. Flash kept crashing, destroying my battery and being a regular jerk on my CPU so I uninstalled him.

  32. Never read a comic of either of those characters — I find more stimulation listening to ‘fast’ music with my eyes closed. Early-middle Boredoms, some Merzbow, Naked City, Bop-era Bud Powell… you also get a good sense of ‘velocity’ (I find) taking in multiple-voice pieces by J S Bach IE Art of the fugue. Just affording a perspective which may be of use in the thread :)

  34. The characters have way too much baggage…
    Here’s an idea… if the canon and mythos have become so complex that you can’t tell a story without conflicting with a previous one… STOP TRYING!!! The horse is dead… judging by comic history, though… that dead horse is going to get cloned, discovered in an alternate dimension, be replaced by a cyborg, come back as a zombie, get resurrected by the phlebotinum of the week…

  35. Can someone please explain this? I just read all the comments and all I see is people talking about who’s the fastest. Or faster. Or whatever. Anyway, did the offending comments get deleted. If so, what’s the point of closing the comments?

    The Flash forevahhhh!

  37. Personally I think that in theory the FLash is faster… but problem is that in practice Superman is the faster of the two. The Flash could easily outrun Superman on paper, but there’s such tiny problems as “escape velocity” and “not being able to fly or live without oxygen” forcing him to slow down most of the time. That and even if you ignore such problems, getting sucked into the speed force would really fucking suck. Superman doesn’t have to deal with that scenario so he can go full bore all the time if he wants to.

    tl;dr Nobody really gives a shit both are awesome, FICTIONAL CHARACTERS and thus the whole thing is moot anyways so just shut about it already.

  39. Run fast enough and the centripetal force reduce the friction under your feet to zero. Then running doesn’t work any more.

    1. Flash, because that’s his only super power.

      Jumping is a frog’s only super power — does that mean a frog can jump higher than Superman?

      I can’t believe I just participated in this debate.

  43. I know this isn’t a valid point. But in an episode of smallville (season 4- run) barry allen runs SO MUCH faster than superman to a point where superman just wasn’t fast enough.

  44. The Beautiful thing is that the remaining comments now make it appear that the conversation devolved into whether or not Clark Kent(professional writer) would have made similar arguments as the grammar used was questionable.

  45. Plastic Man could just stretch his arm out until his pinky finger broke the finish line plane and beat ’em both.

  47. Oh I’m firmly in the Morticia camp. Yes. Firmly.

    But loosen that hair bun and there’s still that side of me that wonders… Those prim and proper Elizabethans were freaks.

    Welcome to the Librarian Principle.

    1. …Elizabethans?
      Mary Poppins was set in the 1930s, when it was published, during the reign of George V. If you are thinking of the movie, that was set in 1910, during the Edwardian era (hence the mother being a rather silly parody of a suffragette). Elizabethan would refer to the time when Shakespeare was writing his plays for god’s sake.

      What are they teaching the kids in schools these days…

  49. Oh, let the Flash have his fun. Superman would just fly counterclockwise around the earth to reverse the flow of time anyway.

    (I hate Superman.)

  50. This takes me back to the debate Alfalfa and Spanky have concerning the strength of Tarzan over Flash Gordon. It’s probably one of the earliest documented fanboy debates.

  51. To all the people with the “he spun the world so fast as to turn back time” argument:
    A) that was in the movie
    B) he wasn’t running

  59. Flash…Ahhh ahhh ahhh! Savior of the universe!

    (awesome queen song, about Flash Gordon…not The Flash)

  62. Look, there’s only one good answer to this type of question:

    “Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble?”

    THREESOME!

    “Mary Poppins or Morticia Addams?”

    THREESOME!

    “Superman or Flash?”

    THREESOME!

    (Wait, what?)

        1. Can’t Superman move fast enough to go back in time? He could have a threesome with himself and himself.

  63. DC clearly closed comments because they realized — to their horror — that if this debate was ever resolved, the Internet would cease to exist.

    Wise move on their part.

  68. Edwardian, right. Aren’t I a silly git.

    I still say she’s hot. Not quite Morticia Addams hot but nonetheless, hot. And Betty’s got it all over Wilma.

  69. Don’t get me wrong, Superman is fast, but only as fast DC physics allow Kryptonians to get under a yellow sun. The Flash, however, can approach, and occasionally reach, light speed via The Speed Force.

    But only Captain Marvel can travel faster than light. How? Magic. Of course it takes him to the Rock of Eternity, which is only so useful.

    But enjoy your bronze medal, Superman – you just came in third.

  71. Just to side track further..

    Jetson vs. Jetson.. Jane or Judy ?

    and lets toss Lilly Munster into the Marry P./Morticia mix.. (personally I’d take Lilly over Morticia. Lilly has that charming domestica mojo going on.)

    Flash v. Superman… easy to settle, see who can get to Milliways first..

    Didn’t care much for the newer Dr.Who.. after reading about the Weeping Angels… I think I need to give it another go. And I don’t think I’ll ever walk by a statue w/ out getting a slight case of the heebeejeebees now….

  72. This is what inevitably happens when you give superheros “ultimate”
    type powers. These comparisons will always come up.

    Technically if you believe that superman can reverse time by flying around the world, he could simply do that to come back a fraction of a second earlier than the flash. I’d like to believe that superman being superman, he would feel that is cheating and not do that. Considering that otherwise his is only “faster than a speeding bullet” which compared to the Flash, isn’t that fast, I would have to give it to the Flash easily.

    More stupid comparisons. Hulk’s infinite strength based on how angry he gets, VS Thor, who is a god. Um… a draw?

    My favorite contest is the Immovable Object (The Blob) VS the Unstoppable force (Juggernaught)… I think it starts to border on philosophy at some point…

    Also on the crazy chart is Darksied VS Apocalypse. It gets pretty silly at a certain point.

  73. From the John Byrne Robotics FAQ: http://www.byrnerobotics.com/FAQ/listing.asp?ID=4&T1=Byrnisms%3A+opinions+and+observations+of+JB#70


    What is the “specialist rule”?

    Is The Flash faster than Superman?

    JB: I will invoke the specialist rule, i.e., the guy who is only fast gets to be the fastest.

    Saying Superman is faster than the Flash is like saying Superman can schmooze with fish better than Aquaman just because he’s Superman and he’s the most super at everything.

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