By Mark Frauenfelder at 12:39 pm Fri, Mar 25, 2011
Gonna throw out my stash right now!
A wood chipper is not a beauty treatment.
Apparently smoking meth turns you into Steve Buschemi?
It’s true. Visit some rural mid-western states.
Nobody ever says “I want to be a Buscemi when I grow up”
And yet, I’d date him before I’d date Tom Cruise.
Yeah, but that’s because ugly’s always preferable to bug-fuck crazy.
Anyway, Tom’s not gay any more, or at least his people tell him so.
I challenge you to find a boinger who would choose Cruise over Buscemi.
I don’t care how pretty your face is, how ripped your muscles are, how big your dick is — no physical attribute is a valid workaround for not having a personality. Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with Tom Cruise? Steve Buscemi would be a blast.
The lack of a distinct personality of one’s own is not necessarily an impediment to being a fine actor.
The comments above comparing Mssrs. Cruise and Buscemi, as actors and personalities, has inspired me to bemuse myself by imagining Buscemi filling in the Cruise roles which I’ve seen, and vice-versa.
The fact is, when it comes to movie acting anyway, the way an actor looks cannot help but count for… well, not quite everything, but for quite a lot, as to which roles are suitable for that actor.
I was thinking half of that, that they should have Steve Buscemi do all of Tom Cruises parts. They would become much more watchable. It could be entertaining seeing Tom Cruise in Fargo.
I know this is waaay late and you probably won’t see this. BUT, upon discussion with a friend I found out it was NOT Mr. Pink (ie-Buscemi) who said the “dick dick” line, but Mr. Brown (Tarantino).
And that as a result, it might be interpreted that I was referring to you as such. I come running back and look and maybe that was the case. I am sorry! That is not what I meant. Please forgive : (
And, I TOO, would rather date Buscemi (my earlier point). as I am sure all boingers would : )
Oh yeah, five years And a ten foot pole before Tom.
It would certainly be a less complicated breakup.
“… before I’d date Tom Cruise”
Antinous, I likes ya style. Your namesake may not be a miss after all.
You know what this is? This is the world’s smallest violin playing for just for Mr. Buscemi
Life is hard for those who don’t tip.
Yet I have always wanted 5 nights with Steve Buscemi. And he doesn’t have to be Pink.
Can’t… stop… laughing…
She’s still doable but lip-mashing may lead to a loss of epidermis on the face.
“Apparently that’s your looks there in the woodchipper…”
Why does everyone pick on Steve Buschemi?
I know, right?! I was going to say the same thing.
Shut the fuck up Donny
“Dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick”
Lol-I’ve been muttering this for the last couple o’ weeks.
I don’t have a problem, I can quit any time.
*looks at photos*
Steve Buschemi is a meth chick? I knew it!
Admittedly I have a mild form of prosopagnosia but I really thought the first one was Linda McCartney till I noticed the dates
That’s the funniest shit I’ve seen all year. Kudos Mark.
You probably should stay away from meth, unless, of course, you can handle it socially.
sad and funny at the same time. but more funny.
Jesus Christ, Joe, it’s beneath me, alright? I’ll be Mr. Pink. Let’s move on.
Steve Buscemi, if you are reading this, I think you’re totally awesome and adorable.
I drew this portrait of Mr. Buscemi two days ago. Thanks for reading my mind BoingBoing.
Link to Tumblr Photo
I’m a straight male, but frankly, Buscemi is more attractive than even the pre-meth woman here.
I wouldn’t mind having Buscemi’s looks, if they also went with whatever lucky break he had to get into the movies!
There’s a long tradition of “ugly” people becoming very successful in Hollywood as character actors. Buscemi has a particularly unique look, but he’s also quite a good actor and far better than many of the popular character actors from the 40’s through the 60’s (as much as I like them too).
I was once stopped in the parking lot of a highway service station north of Toronto when a guy who looked like Steve Buscemi, dressed in the type of scummy clothes a typical Buscemi character might wear, came up to my car with a sob story about how he’s got his family in the back of a van and needs money for a tow truck. It was quite frightening actually :)
Luck is an element, but mostly it’s the old-fashioned meeting of preparation and opportunity.
You should see the other guy.
If I’d known that, I would have started years ago.
My eleven year old told me about meth mouth last week.
His school had a cop who also showed off his taser, pistol,
and other implements of violence.
I told him to ask how many folks he’s shot, and whether he’d
round up the nips for manzanera. Or ay-rabs.
Irvine, California: teaching fascism.
And home of the only chronic war memorial:
woohoo! pinhead amerikans! we’re the best!
It would seem my “manzanera” is better than yours:
Well, if not exactly “better”, mine is probably nicer to listen to, I’ll bet.
I don’t get it. In other news, a banana.
I NOMINATE STEVE BUSCEMI AS THE NEXT BOINGBOING GUEST BLOGGER
Oh yeah? Well I nominate both Percival Dunwoody and Steve Buscemi both for co-presidential roles on the BoingBoing-verse!
and Tom Cruise for moderator of all Science related posts!
i second buschemi for the next guest blogger on boingboing. that would be so so cool and it seems like something he would do, because he just comes off as a cool dude.
Yes: Mr B. rocks. (ex NY fireman. . .everyone knows this, yes?)
So great. . .actually in response to above comment: if I were ever to be a real actor, Buscemi is the guy that plays the roles that I would love to play: except he is so good at what he does, I can only admire from afar. . .(also: I’m not an actor O_o)
Also: image. . .hilarious. Other people’s agony: not so much. Still, your ow might be my ha.
That’s how it goes. . .
Cool fact I found out about him, he used to be a fire fighter. Love him in Ghost World.
Friends don’t let friends drink and Steve Buschemi
This is your brain. This is your brain on Steve Buschemi…
But seriously – Steve Buschemi is a great actor, is alway cool during interviews and I’ve heard he’s pretty cool when accosted by fans in elevators, hotel lobbies, burger joints and so forth.
So if Amy Carter does meth, she’ll evolve into Donny Kerabatsos? He’s out of his element!
steve buscemi is a cool dude.
Frodo: ‘I would think that a servant of the Enemy would look fair and feel foul.’
Aragorn: ‘Ah,’ laughed Strider, ‘and I look foul and feel fair?’
He would have made an awesome Aragorn.
Snig, I have a friend that would totally agree with you: He Hated Viggo (whom i liked) and would grasp onto your quote like Gollum to the ring To Prove that S.B. would make the better Aragorn.
And after thinking about it. . .(while I disagree somewhat) y’all have a point: Aragorn supposed to be fugly.
Only after you put a crown on him and cut his hair does he begin to look the part. . .
“To all my friends!!!”
Clearly it gets better and better as you head to the right, until you get to the adorable, funny, excellent actor Steve.
What confuses me is, why did you put the meth case on the left? Everything I’ve ever seen that purports to preach a pejorative POV starts with the “good” on the left.
Downers make eyes un-bulge, resulting in http://blog.jdubrecords.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/gilbert-gottfried.jpg
Humphrey Bogart was not a traditionally “good looking” actor, he did it all with character and uniqueness, like Mr. Buscemi here. My favorite SB movie would have to be the little-known “Ed And His Dead Mother” with Ned Beatty and … mmmmm… Ms. Sam Jenkins!
I once read somewhere that the camera “liked” Bogart; that cinematographers would actually gasp when they saw how much better his looks came across on film or when photographed, than in person.
I understand that ‘screen tests” are all-important for just that reason: the camera makes its own choices as to who it “likes”, that is, who photographs well, and who it doesn’t.
Simply stated, some people are photogenic, and others aren’t; and I have read that whether or not a film camera “likes” a person can only be discovered by actually shooting some film of that person. The results, I have read, can be surprising.
Despite all that stuff about “looks”, and regardless of what role the camera is playing in the creation of his image, or even whether or not that is a factor at work here – for I only know Mr Buscemi through his work, his films – Mr Buscemi is imho a most talented film actor.
FWIW, I have yet to see him turn in a weak performance.
UC: That’s certainly my own experience. My initial expectations for one woman model (large facial features, odd cheekbones,…) were flattened when I saw the prints. Gorgeous! Lighting, color, and lens choice made an amazing difference.
Just saw him on NBC’s “Who Do You Think You Are?” (essentially a production company pays genealogists to trace a star’s family history).
He really does come off as a “normal” affable guy. Still lives in Brooklyn with his wife and kid.
I WAS going to say something invective but, “Shut the fuck up Donny”.
I love most of Buscemi’s work, and he seems like a relatively ‘real/normal’ person, in spite of his profession. He looked pretty decent in “Living in Oblivion”. Not handsome, and not ugly. I like foreign films or indies more, precisely for that reason. They don’t rely on freakishly good looking people to drive a film’s success, or to make a character sympathetic or likable. Anyway, I still think he looks better than the first or ‘before’ photo.
This photo series is missing Tom DeLay’s famously grinning mugshot.
Although Tom looks like he’s on crack, but “no matter”…
Steve Buscemi is definitely on my list of “people I’d like to have a couple of beers and talk with” Tom Cruise, eh, not so much.
one of my favorite actors! He has a great choice in movies and roles. Living in Oblivion- one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.
Mr. Buschemi is a fine actor. But besides that, why would you all want to date/meet him?
Just natural sympathy for the guy that’s been picked on or any real reason to believe he is an interesting person?
Not my favorite movie, but I would have happily “done” Steve the way he looked in Airheads.
Cultural zeitgeist and all that but never before have I wished as much as I do right now that Boingboing had a ‘like’ button.
I think we have a new meme here… Meth progression pictures that always end with Steve Buscemi
“…. Meth progression pictures that always end with Steve Buscemi…”
Naw, meth progression pics usually end with morgue photos… or worse:
“That’s YOUR name, Dude.”
I love nerpies who painstakingly deconstruct pathos and tragedy and turn it into ripsnorting (ha ha ha ha ha aha ha mwa hah ah ahahahaha…rip snorting…SNORTING, get it?) junk with production values. Intellectual prepdom’s version of Gomer Pyle doing Sacco & Vanzetti, I guess.
But I wonder… If you dumb down America too much, you elect Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and whatnot, and then you get guvnors like Arizona’s and Wisconsin’s, and then you reap a whirlygust of loose turky feathers from Alaskan numbbutts (no nuts, remember? hee haw!!) who rant about Second Amendment options, leading to concealed carry laws in Iowa for godsake (according to the Music Man us Iowegians are stubborn, not boneheads, but apparently that’s changed), open carry laws in Vermont, and blazing homicidal rage from two Einsteins in Mississippi jes’ recently who drew down on each other in a fury about dog turds.
To quote Chaucer, “When gold rusts, what will kryptonite do?”
No matter Steve B. has made and been in some great movies. Yea I’d hang with him.
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