Caped villains stab dogs

Two men wearing ski masks and garbage bag capes stabbed a pair of cocker spaniels during what's believed to have been an attempted burglary in Stockport, England. The animals were treated for the injuries, possibly inflicted with a screwdriver. From the BBC News:

The pets' owner discovered the masked man who had a bin liner tied around his shoulders stabbing the pets as she walked into her lounge.

Det Con Dave Moran said: "Understandably, the woman was very upset to have her beloved pets attacked in this way.

"These are small family pets and not vicious guard dogs that posed any threat to the intruder."

"Caped intruder stabs cocker spaniels in Marple Bridge"

• [Teller]

  Next time, buy the magazine.

• [Zoman]

  I suspect the reality of this is more mundane. The bags probably weren’t “capes” but were perhaps an attempt to reduce DNA residue (they bothered with balaclavas after all). When the dogs started barking, they just wigged out. Perhaps they were (stupidly) loaded up on methamphetamines.

  • [Anonymous]

    Meth aint that popular in the UK; heroin is much more likely.

• [Anonymous]

  This was not a robbery. Disguised men stabbing dogs? This was some kind of vengeance attack, perhaps a neighbor who hated the dogs for their barking and/or pooping, or a jilted lover trying to kill the dogs she loved more than him.

• [karl_jones]

  How I miss the old “Wonderful Things” monicker and all it excluded.

• [Tensegrity]

  The capes are off their meds again. Time to call Marshal Law!

• [Caroline]

  Looks like it’s time to break out the happy-dog chasers again.

  I don’t have any cocker spaniel pics, but here are some more boxers and part-boxers.

• [David Pescovitz]

  I’m afraid that any perceived exclusions were strictly in your imagination.

  • [karl_jones]

    I’m afraid that any perceived exclusions were strictly in your imagination.

    If only I had a dime for each of the perceived perceptions (exclusionary or otherwise) that were strictly in my imagination ….

• [chawke]

  RE: Anon
  “Bleh…crimes against dogs are the ONLY thing that make me think fondly of the days when public floggings were popular….”

  Yes. This…me too. This and canings.

• [yepmatt]

  Reminds me of Black Sabbath’s ‘Paranoid’ album cover/back cover….

  • [Anonymous]

    Are you implying that the mad man on the Paranoid cover was a cowardly dog stabber?

• [Anonymous]

  Bleh…crimes against dogs are the ONLY thing that make me think fondly of the days when public floggings were popular….

  • [Shart Tsung]

    “Bleh…crimes against dogs are the ONLY thing that make me think fondly of the days when public floggings were popular….”

    Oh, sweet irony.

• [museincognito]

  Stabbing canines = very, Very, VERY bad juju.

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    I use my canines to stab things rather regularly.

    • [museincognito]

      Oh, puppy, you’re all bark. If your rep didn’t precede you, I might think you were being pugnacious. ;)

• [Anonymous]

  If you read the Mali Epic of Son Jara, you will notice that harm to dogs is involved in most of the witchcraft done. So it is indeed bad juju. Perhaps these gentlemen were onto something.

• [Bionicrat2]

  I’m not sure that headline is fair to caped villains. Did Dr. Doom ever stab a dog? Mysterio wouldn’t go after house pets with a screwdriver. MAYBE Magneto on a bad day, but only maybe.

• [Anonymous]

  Sir Digby Chicken Caesar and his sidekick Ginger, I’m sure.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QACSo5xk3dE

• [wigg1es]

  More proof that people are inherently evil.

• [RedShirt77]

  oh, I forgot

  At least they didn’t chop the head off a collie.

• [RedShirt77]

  Clearly they are putting out the call for a caped hero to protect dogs everywhere from the Garbage Goons.