Smell like an elf: RPG perfumes

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is selling a line of RPG-inspired perfumes intended to invoke the mythical races of elves, dwarves, half-elves, hobbits and orcs, as well as the distinctive aromas of clerics, fighters, mages, paladins and such. I totally guessed that paladins smelled like vanilla and "evil" smelled of "Smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root. "
DWARF: Iron filings and chips of stone, Styrian Golding hops, and soot-covered leather.

ELF: Pale golden musk, honeycomb, amber, parma violet, hawthorne bark, aspen leaf, forest lily, life everlasting, white moss, and a hint of wild berry.

HALF-ELF: White sandalwood, beeswax, white tea leaf, oud, and a hint of sophisticated urban musk.

HALFLING: Porridge, kukui nuts, and pastry crumbs.

ORC: Field grey courgette musk, roughly cured leather, and vetiver.

CLERIC: Rose amber, frankincense, myrrh, champaca flower, Peru balsam, cistus, palisander, cananga, hyssop, and narcissus absolute.

FIGHTER: Leather, musk, blood, and steel.

MAGE: All mystique and thrumming power: gurjum balsam, Sumatran dragon's blood resin, olibanum, galangal, oleo gum resin, and frankincense.

The RPG Series (via Neatorama)

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  1. Shouldn’t the Orc and Fighter perfumes add a dash of BO? You could throw in some rotten meat for the Orc too.

  2. Surely elves smell like cabbage. At least they did in the RPG campaigns of my youth. People playing elves took a lot of trash talk from those getting into character as half orcs or similar.

    1. Druid is going to be a part of a future release, as will Bard. No idea why Human isn’t a scent other than, perhaps, the fact we’re all human already.

  3. Opium is actually a cloyingly sweet smell (like concentrated poppy flowers), so it might not be the best choice for “evil.” Maybe something more like licorice?

  4. In B4 WOTC (the current license-holders of the D&D property) muscle in wanting a cut.

    “Anything is possible when your elf smells like Old Black Lotus and not like a girlyman. I’m on a unicorn.”

    And I thought the D&D sodas were barrel scraping…

  5. OK, by the look of it, the ‘Multi-Class’ scent is going to be one ginormous hot mess…..

  6. I would have guessed that dwarves would smell horrible and half-elves would smell like shame and regret.

  7. Although I usually say “race”, these critters are species. I am curious as to where the origin of the use of “race” came from, I know it’s in early D&D, but did it start there? Everyone does it, but given the fiction elves, dwarves, and orcs are all different species. Actually in D&D you could be a half-orc but not an orc, and I doubt orcs were called a “race”. Unless from Tolkein or somewhere they are all “different races of men” from a long time ago who diverged, but given the within-fiction physical differences, “race” does not apply. Ok we can redefine “race”, sure no problem, but I don’t think very tall peoples (Bantu?) or very short ones (perhaps “populations”) (the pygmies apologies for not knowing the more up-to-date term) are called “races”, since in the West “race” is primarily about skin color but also issues of power (in the US, both Irish and Italian suffered form bigotry against them, and were called different races from “white” people — I don’t have a cite for that but I’m sure there’s something online about it). Hmm ok that was a bit of a tangent, but, elves are a species, or maybe it could be like chimps and bonobos, but I do not know what biologists refer to them as (we need a biologist of fiction).

    1. >Although I usually say “race”, these critters are species.

      If you can have half-elves and half-orcs, then I would argue that these are races and not species (albeit fictional ones).

        1. Zebroids are typically infertile; the definition is “can breed and produce fertile offspring”. So no – zebras and horses are different species. As for the D&D races/species: If you can be 1/4 or 1/8 elf, then these interbreedings are obviously fertile, and that makes them the same species.

  8. The fragrance of
    WHITE PEOPLE:…
    HALF-WHITES:…

    I love me some D&D, but occasionally this idea of races that are all good or all bad seems like too much of a pro-racism metaphor, instead of just making fantasy stories easier and clearer. There’s a dream sequence in the Rankin-Bass animated “Return of the King” where Sam or Frodo fantasizes about how things will be after the ring is destroyed, the two of them chillin by the roadside and smokin weed in the Shire or on their way home from Mordor. Some goblins or orcs walk up a path near them, waving and smiling to the hobbits who return the gesture. Maybe those races stop being evil after Sauron is destroyed?

    http://youtu.be/_274z9AO6Q8
    50 seconds into that clip

  9. RPG … rocket propelled grenade

    What an interesting fragrance. Would that be pre- or post-use?

  10. They missed one scent…

    Eu De Hardcore MMOG Player, smells of: Hot Pockets, Cheetos, lack of sleep, damp basement, peanut M&Ms, Mountain Dew, unwashed flesh, homophobia, frustration, bitterness

  11. To expand on Tensegrity’s point:

    Strictly speaking, the concept of “species” is rather difficult to apply to D&D. The most common definition of species differentiation is that individuals from different species cannot produce fertile offspring together. In the case of D&D, this is very clearly not true for the races; half-elves and half-orcs are common. In fact, half-giants and half-ogres exist, as do even half-demons, half-celestials, half-dragons. You can take feats that indicate you have ancestors that were fey, elemental, or even plant. Some of these can be explained away by magic – but there is generally no magic involved in the creation of a half-elf or any other “common” half-race. If we had to apply the common definition of species, it seems we would have to group all the humanoids together as a single species, with various “breeds”. Humans and Elves, from this perspective, are less like cats ands dogs and more like huskies and greyhounds.

  12. Wonder why they don’t sell a sampler, or a pack of tester cards. Not that they’d necessarily generate a lot of sales for the full product, but they could sell a bunch to gamers and fantasy fans who can waft them while playing or reading.

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