The monkey tail, a beard

The awesome and epic Monkey Tail is the first major new beard of the twenty-first century and represents a profound innovation in the bearding industry.

⟿ Follow Rob Beschizza on Twitter.

MORE: Culture

More at Boing Boing

Eurovision 2013: An American in London

The technology that links taxonomy and Star Trek

cbwallday

Speaking of beards…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBi2g5YPsAA&feature=related
Anonymous

Nice. I like how he wiped the boring completely off his face. Don’t let the squares get you down, lemur man.
Anonymous

With all kids and adults have done to their hair, like crazy colors and cuts WHY is this so different? It grows out and I think if guys can do it go ahead.
BDiamond

That’s the best beard I’ve seen since Katie Holmes.
- CoquiELF
  
  Nice!
- danfan
  
  Well played, sir.
CastanhasDoPara

Bloody hipsters… *incoherent grumbling*
peter

everything old is new again. when i invented it in ’05, i called it the curveball.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/clango/760226432/
egirl

I <3 it. The stripes are a def extra points for creativity. ;-p
ocschwar

Send it to Bernanke as a reminder of why he must address unemployment.
Brainspore

I bet a sufficiently dedicated (and fur-faced) man could get one more curl by ending the spiral on the “soul patch” just under the lower lip. Who’s up to the challenge?
- Kimmo
  
  I bet a sufficiently dedicated (and fur-faced) man could get one more curl by ending the spiral on the “soul patch” just under the lower lip. Who’s up to the challenge?
  
  Shandy Brown seems to be the true monkeytail pioneer (May 2008), and did just that with the earliest known example.
Anonymous

This is a paradigm shift in facial hair style! Personally, I think this style could easily be adapted to look like the Cheshire Cat if you include the hair somehow :D
Anonymous

He needs to cut the head off of a stuffed monkey toy, attach it to an elastic and wear it like an eyepatch just below his hairline.
Jason

In a related note, today is National Hairball Awareness Day. http://www.romeothecat.com/2011/04/29/happy-national-hairball-awareness-day-2/
Anderson Council

We’ve secretly replaced this man’s brain with a Lemur. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!
Anonymous

Congratulations. You just made the front page of Sweet Beard.
apoxia

No, stop this immediately!
Fuzzy

I am thinking of the asymmetrical beard style prevalent in Larry Niven’s _Known Space_ future society.
Anonymous

Wait…

Did you just use “beard” as a verb?
kento

Today is truly a great day to be a man.
marco antonio

… I actually think it’s really clever!
And I bet the bearer has a few interesting things to tell. That’s a mind that’s not afraid of trying things out despite irrational opposition. :)
I’d have a beer(d) with him!
Anonymous

BRILLIANT. I encourage this.
ajiav

First? Did we forget the question mark?:

http://www.yourfunnystuff.com/2010/08/18/question-mark-facial-hair/
- CastanhasDoPara
  
  That is also some hipster crud. Clever but still stupid.
  
  Just for kicks how about star-burns. I feel dumber just knowing that I know about those/them.
  
  Or or or, my dad’s penchant for ridiculous facial hair hi-jinx. One loooong beard parted in the middle and tied up in a knot over his lip. What an idiot. That’s just one example BTW, there were many more which is only one of the many reasons why I think my father is a complete dumb-ass.
  - emmdeeaych
    
    All that without ever opening his mouth to prove it.
Blacken

Is this going to be the Mullet for the twenty-first century…..?
blueelm

Hahahahaha! Brilliant!
Anonymous

If that the tail what does it make the mouth?
irksome

Personally, I welcome our monkey tail overlords.
Anonymous

i have the same thing only downstairs.
simonbarsinister

Sorry for being pedantic, but that is clearly a Lemurtail-beard, not a Monkeytail-beard.
- grimc
  
  That is noted in the caption at the website, explaining that monkeybeard enthusiasts have a soft spot for ring-tailed lemurs.
Philboyd Studge

My favorite postal clerk told me this story. His son worked at the zoo, and he once visited him at the ape-house. Dad sported an imposing full grey beard, which deeply disturbed the orangutans. When they saw him, they first reacted with fear and horror, followed by violent rage.

I know how they feel now.
Anonymous

Sadly, the thing that bothers me most is that it isn’t symmetrical.
Destin

I’m a fan of comic face-shavery hijinks. F’rinstance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlXKpK5YiFk
The Mudshark

IÂ´ve been wondering when this century would finally kick into gear and IÂ´m so happy now because it was worth the wait.
Anonymous

that is fucking awesome. i wish i could grow one.
Marktech

Quick! Bring me my beardhead!
Anonymous

Hey, that’s not a monkey tail, that’s a Debian beard! :-)
Anonymous

Da Da Dum Dum!
Anonymous

Every generation has to have styles in hair clothes, and music guaranteed to piss off their parents. It makes me wonder what their children will find?

This also re-enforces the idea that the last person whose looks were improved by facial hair was Abraham Lincoln.
PeaceNerd

That shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
- emmdeeaych
  
  Just look at it
Anonymous

Awesome.
pjcamp

When I fuck up with my razor, I just shave and start over.
TenInchesTaller

oh my god. i am hiding my boyfriend’s laptop until this post is off the front page. you guys, he can not learn about this.
- Anonymous
  
  come on! show ‘em.
- Anonymous
  
  That’s the same thing my wife would have said, too late. Monkey beard here I come!
Anonymous

If I wasn’t already married, IÂ´d marry him! Buy that man a beer!
Inkmatt

Innovative, too, for expanding the possibilities for social distinction: Does your monkey tail on the left or on the right? Above or below the lip? If below, do we call it a monkey-goatee?
rrot

It’s the other, even lamer, profile that really tells the tale!
Anonymous

It can turn out quite acceptable. Here’s my attempt at a Monkeytail beard: http://evert.meulie.net/2011/05/02/monkey-tail-beard/
dsra

I hate my generation. There is no possible way anyone will look back fondly on this kind of fashion.
- JustOk
  
  hopefully, we can look back on this REALLY QUICK.
Tomas

I do believe there is a certain billionaire/NBC Star/pseudo-politician who should cultivate one of these to go with the thing that lives on his head… :o)
Sethum

Did he stripe it??
Anonymous

Umm…this is ironic, right? Is it meta-ironic?
Anonymous

No, just no.
Niklas

It is that which should not be grown. it is the creature that should not be named.
yosemite

Don’t stop there! He needs to craft the monkey’s body out of the rest of his hair.
- Anonymous
  
  Oh yes. That would be epic.
Anonymous

ooooo, that will never get old.
Robert

When I wake up in the morning and my hair is all over the place, I say “I have a cat on my head.” This guy, though, can have a cat on his head all day!
Prufrock451

Would that make his ear the monkey’s butthole? I don’t want to know what he’s doing there.
Anonymous

I have worn facial hair of one sort or another since 1967 and would not wear a monkey tail beard except possibly at gunpoint.
Harumpf!
Anonymous

Nice beard envy, beard haters! When it comes to facial hair, like most everything else, flaunt it if you’ve got it? Actually, that sounds like really bad advice. Even if the beard is an awesomely clever use of a mans given assets. Also funny looking.
Anonymous

Why so much animosity from this collection of Happy Mutants?

If my facial follicle structure would support this, I’d wear it…until my wife sent me back to the bathroom to shave off the rest.
Anonymous

brilliant. my facial recognitions skills have gone primate-ive.

other 21 century beards….. the throatee or the neck beard.
funkadelic73

What up, G?
allybeag

I want to be a man so I can grow one! That is brilliant!
Karl Elvis

It’s hockey playoff season. There are going to be a lot of guys out there, players and fans, with newly grown ‘playoff beards’.

This needs to get into the hands of every hockey fan and player. We’ll start a new tradition; post-playoff monkey-tails!
grikdog

Unbalanced.
- grikdog
  
  Actually, to be fair, that looks like something Q’s bride would do during the Janeway episodes. “Not on the lips!”
Nash Rambler

Curses! This idea is so good I wish I had thought of it first!
Anonymous

Actually, it looks like a lemur’s tail to me.
bex

no,No and NO
Flaminica

That started as a shaving accident.
The Graphic Avenger

Aaaaaaah… if my girlfriend hadn’t explicitly forbidden me to wear eccentric facial hair I would SO get one of these.
- emmdeeaych
  
  pshaw, you can easily find another girlfriend with facial stylings such as these!!!
Lobster

Oops, someone’s jealous of the monkey beard!
emmdeeaych

Yes, yes you do.