By Rob Beschizza at 5:46 am Fri, Apr 29, 2011
oh my god. i am hiding my boyfriend’s laptop until this post is off the front page. you guys, he can not learn about this.
come on! show ’em.
That’s the same thing my wife would have said, too late. Monkey beard here I come!
I hate my generation. There is no possible way anyone will look back fondly on this kind of fashion.
hopefully, we can look back on this REALLY QUICK.
Did he stripe it??
Umm…this is ironic, right? Is it meta-ironic?
No, just no.
It is that which should not be grown. it is the creature that should not be named.
Don’t stop there! He needs to craft the monkey’s body out of the rest of his hair.
Oh yes. That would be epic.
ooooo, that will never get old.
When I wake up in the morning and my hair is all over the place, I say “I have a cat on my head.” This guy, though, can have a cat on his head all day!
Would that make his ear the monkey’s butthole? I don’t want to know what he’s doing there.
Nice beard envy, beard haters! When it comes to facial hair, like most everything else, flaunt it if you’ve got it? Actually, that sounds like really bad advice. Even if the beard is an awesomely clever use of a mans given assets. Also funny looking.
Why so much animosity from this collection of Happy Mutants?
If my facial follicle structure would support this, I’d wear it…until my wife sent me back to the bathroom to shave off the rest.
What up, G?
I want to be a man so I can grow one! That is brilliant!
Curses! This idea is so good I wish I had thought of it first!
Actually, it looks like a lemur’s tail to me.
That started as a shaving accident.
Aaaaaaah… if my girlfriend hadn’t explicitly forbidden me to wear eccentric facial hair I would SO get one of these.
pshaw, you can easily find another girlfriend with facial stylings such as these!!!
Speaking of beards…
That’s the best beard I’ve seen since Katie Holmes.
Well played, sir.
Bloody hipsters… *incoherent grumbling*
We’ve secretly replaced this man’s brain with a Lemur. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!
Congratulations. You just made the front page of Sweet Beard.
I am thinking of the asymmetrical beard style prevalent in Larry Niven’s _Known Space_ future society.
Today is truly a great day to be a man.
… I actually think it’s really clever!
And I bet the bearer has a few interesting things to tell. That’s a mind that’s not afraid of trying things out despite irrational opposition. :)
I’d have a beer(d) with him!
Personally, I welcome our monkey tail overlords.
Sorry for being pedantic, but that is clearly a Lemurtail-beard, not a Monkeytail-beard.
That is noted in the caption at the website, explaining that monkeybeard enthusiasts have a soft spot for ring-tailed lemurs.
My favorite postal clerk told me this story. His son worked at the zoo, and he once visited him at the ape-house. Dad sported an imposing full grey beard, which deeply disturbed the orangutans. When they saw him, they first reacted with fear and horror, followed by violent rage.
I know how they feel now.
Da Da Dum Dum!
That shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
Just look at it
Innovative, too, for expanding the possibilities for social distinction: Does your monkey tail on the left or on the right? Above or below the lip? If below, do we call it a monkey-goatee?
It’s the other, even lamer, profile that really tells the tale!
brilliant. my facial recognitions skills have gone primate-ive.
other 21 century beards….. the throatee or the neck beard.
no,No and NO
Nice. I like how he wiped the boring completely off his face. Don’t let the squares get you down, lemur man.
Send it to Bernanke as a reminder of why he must address unemployment.
I bet a sufficiently dedicated (and fur-faced) man could get one more curl by ending the spiral on the “soul patch” just under the lower lip. Who’s up to the challenge?
Shandy Brown seems to be the true monkeytail pioneer (May 2008), and did just that with the earliest known example.
This is a paradigm shift in facial hair style! Personally, I think this style could easily be adapted to look like the Cheshire Cat if you include the hair somehow :D
He needs to cut the head off of a stuffed monkey toy, attach it to an elastic and wear it like an eyepatch just below his hairline.
In a related note, today is National Hairball Awareness Day. http://www.romeothecat.com/2011/04/29/happy-national-hairball-awareness-day-2/
First? Did we forget the question mark?:
That is also some hipster crud. Clever but still stupid.
Just for kicks how about star-burns. I feel dumber just knowing that I know about those/them.
Or or or, my dad’s penchant for ridiculous facial hair hi-jinx. One loooong beard parted in the middle and tied up in a knot over his lip. What an idiot. That’s just one example BTW, there were many more which is only one of the many reasons why I think my father is a complete dumb-ass.
All that without ever opening his mouth to prove it.
I’m a fan of comic face-shavery hijinks. F’rinstance:
Quick! Bring me my beardhead!
I have worn facial hair of one sort or another since 1967 and would not wear a monkey tail beard except possibly at gunpoint.
No, stop this immediately!
Did you just use “beard” as a verb?
When I fuck up with my razor, I just shave and start over.
I do believe there is a certain billionaire/NBC Star/pseudo-politician who should cultivate one of these to go with the thing that lives on his head… :o)
It’s hockey playoff season. There are going to be a lot of guys out there, players and fans, with newly grown ‘playoff beards’.
This needs to get into the hands of every hockey fan and player. We’ll start a new tradition; post-playoff monkey-tails!
Actually, to be fair, that looks like something Q’s bride would do during the Janeway episodes. “Not on the lips!”
BRILLIANT. I encourage this.
If that the tail what does it make the mouth?
IÂ´ve been wondering when this century would finally kick into gear and IÂ´m so happy now because it was worth the wait.
Hey, that’s not a monkey tail, that’s a Debian beard! :-)
Every generation has to have styles in hair clothes, and music guaranteed to piss off their parents. It makes me wonder what their children will find?
This also re-enforces the idea that the last person whose looks were improved by facial hair was Abraham Lincoln.
With all kids and adults have done to their hair, like crazy colors and cuts WHY is this so different? It grows out and I think if guys can do it go ahead.
i have the same thing only downstairs.
Sadly, the thing that bothers me most is that it isn’t symmetrical.
that is fucking awesome. i wish i could grow one.
It can turn out quite acceptable. Here’s my attempt at a Monkeytail beard: http://evert.meulie.net/2011/05/02/monkey-tail-beard/
everything old is new again. when i invented it in ’05, i called it the curveball.
I <3 it. The stripes are a def extra points for creativity. ;-p
If I wasn’t already married, IÂ´d marry him! Buy that man a beer!
Is this going to be the Mullet for the twenty-first century…..?
Oops, someone’s jealous of the monkey beard!
Yes, yes you do.
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