Gentleman wearing bra, panties charged with stabbing pygmy goat to death. Yes, in West Virginia.

A gentleman in West Virginia who was discovered wearing women's undergarments and standing over a pygmy goat's carcass told police he was high on "bath salts" when he stabbed the creature to death.


  1. I gather these “bath salts” of today are not the ones my sister used to receive as birthday presents from an unpopular aunt in the early 1980s.

  2. The term “gentleman” is only comprensible if used in an ironic sense – this is not the act of a gentleman (or even a gentle man). Real gentlemen join a club for such an activity.

  3. okay, that’s it – time to cross bath salts of the list of drugs i might even potentially be interested in experimenting with. f’in YIKES!

    can we pls have a unicorn chaser for that mental image? poor goat….

    1. Perhaps the gentleman was warbling this song while he did his business with the goat:

      West Virginia, right?

      1. I second that emotion… maybe the poor pygmy goat spurned said West Virginian bath salt killers advances, or took up with a rival of the hillbilly in drag, and was slain in a jealous rage. A mystery that ranks right up there with the hit on Bin Laden.

  4. I don’t understand why you guys continue to call these goofballs “gentlemen.” “Gentleman” is not synonymous with “any garden-variety male human,” you know.

      1. Then write “man” or “male” or “suspect”… less possible perception of snarky overtones or implied reverse psychology with those relatively neutral terms! :-)

  5. I’ll never look at a person in line at the supermarket who reeks of lavender and goat urine the same way ever again.

  6. Man. PCP is going to be Seriously Pissed when it learns that some newb is horning in on the WTF-related drugs behavior…

  7. *Sighs* It’s a events like this that make it difficult for the rest of us to take recreational drugs and/or wear women’s undergarments in peace.

    1. Some folks just can’t handle their amphetamine-substitutes.

      “So bath salts are a gateway drug to cross dressing?”

      Only among the necrobestial crowd.

  8. A gentleman in Georgia wearing a t-shirt and jeans comments on a post written by a lady in California wearing snappy business apparel about a gentleman in West Virginia who was discovered wearing women’s undergarments and standing over a pygmy goat’s carcass.

  9. My co-workers and I were warned of the dangers of “bath salts” in a safety meeting recently. The overwhelming reaction was WTF. I’m looking forward to bringing this story in for the next one.

  10. He was really part of the ultra secret Navy SEAL Team 6 practicing for the Osama raid. Great cover story Team 6.

  11. Reply to TPS Reports comment that got taken down … Methinks thou dost protest too much, I guess that’s why your comment got disparoed. Thanks for the info about the Civil War, I didn’t know that.

    We visited the beautiful state of West Virginia once a few years back, when I attended briefly my one and only Rainbow Gathering. My friend and I felt out of place amongst the hippies in our suburban white boy clothes. That and the federale presence scared us off. We were there for an hour maybe before we bailed back to the east coast. We were smoking a lot of medical grade marijuana and I think slightly paranoid. If someone had dosed us when we got there who knows, maybe I’d still be there, wearing women’s undergarments and chasing pygmy goats. But not killing them! I ♥ pygmy goats and I ♥ West Virginia.
    And I ♥ Xeni.

  12. Hey I learned something ( old fogie that I be) from that anti-drug-teaching-aid/kit post BB had up the other day…would “bath salts” also be sold in “shermie” form, or sold by the “shermie”, like PCP is/was?

    I’m just not up on the lingo when it comes to these new-fangled drugs, like “bath salts” and “PCP”.

  13. There was a pornographic magazine photo lying a few feet from the goat, the complaint said.

    and you just know he’s going to blame it all on magazines like that warping his mind. There’ll be an outcry to censor these things. Then the people at “Goatsie Today” are going to point out that they only advocate the responsible use of Pygmy Goats and that they abhor incidents like this which tar the whole community.

    All these stories follow the same arc.

  14. OK having had 12 hrs to digest this story and the new drug nomenclature I am left with 1 question that I find I want an answer for (probably many others I don’t want an answer for):

    What happens if you use these “bathsalts” and bathsalts?

  15. 3:00 (11) Stop the Universe — Science Fiction (Rerun)
    Elderly penologist Dagwood Bumstead is dragged out of retirement to defend a semi-illiterate robot delinquent accused of murdering a teenage girl after a dance party with a knife dipped in cocaine after taking some LSD at a strange sex party with several Hollywood movie stars. Harold Darling, Red Rider, Donald Duck.

    (Firesign Theatre, “Dear Friends”, 12/13/1970)

  16. It’s times like these I’m glad they broke away from Virginia and got to stay a separate state.

Comments are closed.