Judgment Day Open Thread: How are you planning to celebrate The Rapture on May 21?


222 Responses to “Judgment Day Open Thread: How are you planning to celebrate The Rapture on May 21?”

  1. Harrkev says:

    6:00 pm local time? Does that mean that Jesus will be picking people up in shifts — One time zone per hour? What if you are in a non-rapture time zone, and cross time zones into a pre-raptured one… Will you then be forgotten (assuming that you were scheduled to go in the first place)?

    • seyo says:

      I’ve been debating this with friends too. I would think that it should happen all at the same moment, but then again, it could very well be like doing the “wave” at a baseball game.

      So, what happens on Sunday if this rapture doesn’t happen? Do they have a pre-fabricated story to explain the non-Rapture? Do we all get to punch them in their dicks? I wanted to ask them on their website but it’s slammed.

    • mati says:

      Obviously, 6pm America time (America being God’s chosen nation). As for time zones, I’d assume America’s most Christian Time Zone, Central. It’s the one without those heathen New Yorkers, sinful Hollyweirders, or Gay Mountain Cowboys.

    • pedro_ramirez says:

      dude, what if you´re flying westward?

    • Anonymous says:

      why not jerusalem time? or whatever pacific island may 21st happens first in?

      Anyway, time zones are the devil’s invention

    • Laura P says:

      I listened to a radio interview with this guy this morning, and he said that yes, the Rapture would happen in shifts, each of which will begin with an earthquake at approximately 6pm local time in whatever region is affected. I was relieved to hear about the earthquakes, because it means I can skip all those awkward Sunday-morning “so, are you still here?” calls.

      The interesting thing about the interview is that he didn’t seem to have considered the timezone question previously — he first said 6pm in *his* timezone before moving to the theory that it wouldn’t all happen at once.

  2. Tichrimo says:

    I’ll be doing my weekly Satanic ritual — playing D&D (and eating take-away). If things go as planned, we can wrap up gaming and go out looting in the evening.

  3. Talia says:

    I will, of course, be joining the roughly 600k people engaging in post-rapture looting.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Does daylight savings factor in?

  5. petertrepan says:

    I’ll be doing research. A lot of cars will be unmanned come the rapture, and I want to see if God is truly a skilled co-pilot.

  6. treacle says:

    I’ll be attending the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival (link), which considering the level of sinfulness there, seems appropriate to a hedonistic non-believer like me. Viva erotic art!

  7. Anonymous says:

    If were more impulsive, I would go out an buy a bunch of inflatable dolls, and rent a helium tank of two, and go release them near this guy’s church.

    But I guess I’ll only hope someone else does it.

  8. Gunn says:

    My cousin John says that tomorrow evening, he’s buying up a bunch of blow-up sex dolls, filling them with helium and releasing them to heaven.

    • Anonymous says:

      The blow up dolls idea is just awesome.

      I’ve always wondered what happens in a cult the day after the end of days was supposed to happen. It must be awkward, is all I can imagine

  9. Tau'ma says:

    Marvin Gaye “What’s Going On / What’s Happening Brother” http://youtu.be/Y9KC7uhMY9s

  10. Anonymous says:

    Why by mocking it of course!


  11. Anonymous says:

    According to the guy, this will roll out through the timezones. Australia will feel the earthquake first.

    • Anonymous says:

      Well, I’m from Australia… it’s currently 6:20pm.
      No rapture guys, move along, nothing to see here.

  12. betatron says:

    I shall attempt, yet again, to destroy the world by ripping a hole into DeSitter space, converting the planet into strange matter, or maybe making some itsy bitsy black holes. Maybe this time…

  13. proginoskes says:

    I wish I could listen to Family Radio as they aren’t Raptured, but there’s nowhere nearby for me to tune in, and their Internet stream is probably going to be blitzed. Anyone know of a reliable unofficial relay?

  14. bardfinn says:

    You know what I hope will happen tomorrow? That there’ll be a mild earthquake happens in the Dead Sea, dropping one plate a foot or so (but no other damage), and ~140K observant Jewish men (from every sect) suddenly disappear from Jerusalem – and not a single Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist or etcetera – and upon hearing this news, every single eschatist eschats their pants.

    Naturally, those ~140K men will be in the Israeli army and out on a top secret training exercise to test deployment readiness. *cough*. The earthquake will just be a coincidence.

    Totally not in any way, shape, or form connected to any notions of the Rapture. And afterwards, Israeli government reps go on record as saying “look, we were too busy dealing with suicide bombers to do anything connected with this nutbar Camping’s silly hosery. Whatever happened is all y’all’s fault. Not our fault you’re all fracking hysterical.”

  15. wiredfool says:

    I’m planning on falling from grace with god, dancing to the turkish song of the damned, and then betting on a bottle of smoke.

    Either that, or I’ll have a pint.

  16. Malic says:

    I plan on celebrating the arrival of Sunday morning with the mixing of orange juice and champagne.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Well, I plan to do laundry, read Locus Magazine, clean up a little. Work on some proofing and copy editing. Work on my press releases and promos for my novellas coming out soon (ironically, one is called The G.O.D. Factor and the other is post-apocalyptic) and wonder if checks will clear from clients who might be taken up by the rapture. You never know. Life’s an adventure. And as Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett pointed out in Good Omens – God is ineffable – no telling what may happen.

  18. Anonymous says:

    I will be watching Tech Guy and Weekly Day Giz Wiz Along with ELP and MLS soccer Matches.

  19. sapere_aude says:

    All I know is that if the world ends before I find out who River Song is, I’ll be royally pissed.

  20. RebNachum says:

    Torah study in the living room, same as every Saturday. (You’re invited.) Figuring that the chance of the “world” “ending” is about even for every day it exists, I’m not otherwise giving it much thought beyond any lulz derived from coincidental earthquakes.

  21. Anonymous says:

    I’ll be watching this video:

    Scott H (“The H is for fuck you”) Biram : Judgement Day

  22. coop says:

    wiredfool – All the while listening to the Pouges

  23. Keith says:

    Since my birthday was on Wednesday, this Saturday we’re having my party, so that means Rock Band, fajitas, cake and lots of beer. If Jesus shows up, he’s welcome to join in the festivities but I call guitar on “Freebird”.

  24. Tdawwg says:

    Hopefully, aboard the Gospel Ship:


  25. g0d5m15t4k3 says:

    Taking a nap before going to the goth bar to dance and drink. Oh wait, that’s every Saturday night.

  26. Rusalka says:

    I will be spending Judgement Day at my niece’s birthday party

    later I will watch Doctor Who

  27. dancentury says:

    I planned on driving down to North Carolina to observe the Brood XIX cicada emergence, but I ended up buying Heino records and lava lamps at estate sales in New Jersey during the day, and watching Arise! by the church of the sub genius at night.

  28. OHB says:

    If the rapture doesn’t happen, it’ll prove that god isn’t perfect. I expect perfect beings to be able to do math and show up on time.

  29. Bryson says:

    I wonder how much they’re asking for advertising airtime at 6:01PM on Family Radio?

  30. The Life Of Bryan says:

    I think maybe I’ll go stand in front of a church with a suitcase in my hand and spend the afternoon staring up at the sky.

    So, pretty much a typical Saturday afternoon for me.

  31. osmo says:

    Since the same guy have done the same thing twice before he must have stock excuse why we’re all alive.

    I’ll plan in some crazy gay sex with my husband for 18:00 CET then… huzzah

  32. Anonymous says:

    I’ll keep my rifle loaded just in case. Maybe I can take a few pot shots as the cultists are floating out of the atmosphere. If you can make one curse, he becomes a sinner and his god will drop him. That’s good entertainment, right there. Better than a bug zapper.

  33. pepsibookcat says:

    I started pointing and laughing over my morning bowl of rice crispies.

    And,now back to our regularly scheduled programming…

  34. Anonymous says:

    I feel like we missed our chance to get all of the rapture believers to sign recall petitions for every republican eligible to be recalled, with the understanding that the recall elections would be sometime in june.

  35. Lonorising says:

    WOO-HOO! Christianity ends today!

  36. Bryan Price says:

    I plan on partying like it’s 1999. Without the hospital visit I had back then, just so’s you know.

    And after that, I guess I’ll go looting just like everybody else left. Maybe even find a Lamborghini or a Bentley in the neighbor hood who has their owner “raptured”.

    But the most likely event is that I will continue to live like I have, as will most of the people on this earth, much to the chagrin of those people waiting for the rapture.

  37. Anonymous says:

    Good Grief. I just got threatening / insulting comments (On FB) from two redneck gun freaks so obsessed with their penis substitutes that they think that even this “Rapture” thing is a Second Amendment issue.

    I’m quite serious.

  38. Hanglyman says:

    I was hoping to spend the day with someone who believes in this so that I could watch their reactions as the appointed hour grew closer and closer, then hear their excuse when absolutely nothing happened. Alas, I don’t know a single person who thinks this is going to happen. Maybe I’ll wander down the street around that time and hope they make themselves known.

  39. pepsibookcat says:


    *scurries off to the fridge* I need to eat some more ham.

  40. cstatman says:

    I’m gonna Picnic. Man, am I gonna Picnic….


  41. james4765 says:

    We will be watching zombie movies all day, sharpening shovels and axes, weighting baseball bats, and generally preparing for the world’s biggest game of whack-a-zombie.

    And when it happens, I will have the ultimate answer to everyone who accused me of wasting my life with video games, as we laugh at them being eaten by the walking dead.

  42. Anonymous says:

    Do I need to be outside?

    Pixar Short “Lifted”

  43. evillittlegoat says:

    Tonga should hsve kicked in nearly an hour ago, any word?

  44. oasisob1 says:

    I’ll be busy angrily commenting on forums, trolling and lol-ing.

  45. Anonymous says:

    It’s my birthday, so we’ll be eating cake soon or around that time with Tillamook Chocolate Peanut-butter ice cream, after our prayer and meal, and while my husband is a little nervous I am cool. Either it is true (which I doubt anyone can predict when the hour will come) or it is not, not is more likely. If it is true, please be nice to my cat.

  46. Calimecita says:

    Judgment Day? Huh? Must be one of those US-exclusive offers, because down here in Argentina, we’re looking forward to a new anniversary of the revolution that resulted in our first local government, and that’s on May 25th. So you see, we’re planning to still be around by next Wednesday.
    Anyway, just in case the US readers of BB are not here by Sunday, I’ll thank you all now for your declaration of independence, which inspired ours :-)

    • pepsibookcat says:

      Yes, because Freedom of Speech means having to listen to crack pot cult leaders predicting the end of the world.

      • Gulliver says:

        Yes, because Freedom of Speech means having to listen to crack pot cult leaders predicting the end of the world.

        And getting to ridicule them. Freedom of Speech means never having to take what people say to seriously.

  47. victorvodka says:

    why would timezones have any effect on the rapture? they didn’t exist until trains were invented. prior to that, all places used solar time (meaning every location was different from the next)

  48. SMurph says:

    If my understanding is correct, then the first place to get hit will be Tonga at 6pm their local time – which is about midnight tonight, Austin time. If that time comes and goes and there’s no news of massive earthquakes in Tonga, we can start pointing and laughing…

  49. iamanumlaut says:

    I’m going to eat some cars and them I’m going to eat the bars.

  50. Kosmoid says:

    The plan:

    Colossal pan of baked ziti with homemade meatballs

    Tons of garlic bread

    Unlimited quantities of PBR!

    Finish watching Fawlty Towers DVD

    Eat and drink like there’s no tomorrow.

  51. Tau'ma says:

    “I got a telephone in my bosom and I can call him up from my heart”
    Richie Havens, Freedom, (Woodstock) http://youtu.be/fA51wyl-9IE

  52. wylkyn says:

    I was actually taken up yesterday with a bunch of other atheists due to a computer glitch. We were all sent back down today, and as I was leaving I overheard some of the saraphim talking about how they were going to have to postpone the Rapture another 1000 years or something. Apparently not enough science geeks make it to Heaven…they still have punch card computers up there! I’d tell you more, but they made me sign a NDA.

  53. Anonymous says:

    Maker Faire!

  54. Palefire says:

    I really feel like I’m getting jerked around in this deal. Based on this organization’s belief, all churches have been invaded by the presence of Satan, therefore, only christians not affiliated with a church are gonna score big over the weekend.

    The rest of us christians who worship and learn in church, are gonna be stuck on this rock and then toasted with everyone else on judgement day.

    Honestly, couldn’t someone have let me know a little sooner that my church was a favorite hangout for The Adversary?

    • billstewart says:

      Sigh. I’m going to be watching politically correct liberals insulting Christianity and saying things that, had their targets been Jews or Gays or Moslems, would get them thrown out of civilized society and abandoned on an ice floe.

      And they’ll get away with it, because Brother Camping is, with all due respect, acting like an idiot. The first time he predicted the end of the world and it failed, he decided not to interpret the Biblical punishments for false prophets literally, because it obviously didn’t apply to people who just made numerological mistakes in interpreting somebody else’s prophecy.

      And many of the people disrespecting my religion today and tomorrow are my friends. Thanks a lot, Brother Camping!

      • bardfinn says:

        You are — incorrectly, I would assert — labelling Camping a Christian.

      • Modern Jess says:

        I don’t agree that the majority of people, on the whole, are insulting or otherwise mocking Christians about this. They’re mocking a cult leader and the idiots that believe the tripe he’s peddling.

        Camping has no more to do with Christianity than bin Laden had to do with Islam.

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        Sigh. I’m going to be watching politically correct liberals insulting Christianity and saying things that, had their targets been Jews or Gays or Moslems, would get them thrown out of civilized society and abandoned on an ice floe.

        Hey, it’s not easy being an Orwellian echo chamber of hipster douchebaggery.

      • Ugly Canuck says:

        You need a very open mind to call this heresy “Christianity”….

    • Ryanwoofs says:

      That’s the real fun of religion: so many sects believe they are the One True Path(TM) and all the others have it wrong. Not only do you have to buy into religion, not only do you have to choose the right one on the macro scale, you need to choose your dogma carefully too!

      What if the stoic, suit-wearing baptism-is-a-sprinkle folks have it right? But maybe it’s the singing, dancing, dunk-you-in-a-river crowd? Or the snake-handling chin-beards with a penchant for group begats? Oh shit, what if the Buddhists have it right?

  55. ihazkittehz says:

    I’m actually spending the day skydiving. If I happen to see people rapturing up while I head down, all the more exciting!

  56. Tau'ma says:

    Night Talk: Interview With Richie Havens (part 1) http://youtu.be/B_pXxo7bGtE

  57. Anonymous says:

    It’s time for another episode of etymological dissonance (one hopes): “rapture” and “rape” are of the same Latin root “raptus”… to take (away).

  58. Anonymous says:

    End of the World/21st Birthday party in the East Village

  59. Anonymous says:

    This was funny and mock-worthy to me until I met a true-believer who stopped paying their mortgage several months ago. This guy will cause a lot of real suffering.

  60. Anonymous says:

    Well, it’s May 22 here in moonlit Melbourne….we were revved for some looting fun, but gee. Nuthin. Actually this neck of the woods isn’t known for it’s fundamentalists, or even devout, or even practicing Christians, so maybe we were skipped entirely? Not enough volume to bother Rapturing, perhaps. Ah well, there will be other ends of the world.

  61. CarnyTrash says:

    Considering Harold Camping is literally my neighbor here in Alameda, I will probably be watching the skies so I can see him be pulled to the bosom of God.

  62. amanicdroid says:

    Play ‘em out Norman Greenbaum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiJOguO9A5o

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      I was thinking more:

      Bells will ring.
      The Sun will shine.
      I’ll be his and,
      He’ll be mine.
      We’re gonna love until
      The end of time.
      And we’ll never be lonely anymore.
      Oh, we’re going to the rapture and we’re
      Getting vacuumed up by Jesus.

  63. Revisorius says:

    I’m looking forward to the breathing room the rest of us will have when the 144,000 most self-righteous, misguided idiots on the planet are taken away.

  64. badtux says:

    What am I doing? I have to work Saturday. Maybe afterwards I’ll head up to Chrissie Field to have a picnic and watch the skies at 6PM :).

  65. irksome says:

    i gots me sum book lernin but i caint do cyphers. On a counta he used the maths, i is convinced.

    an i gots a root canal on the 22nd so i win.

  66. Anonymous says:

    Been combing the internets for the past hour or so. Not even a PEEP about what Camping and his morlocks are doing….Why does it feel like there’s a news blackout going on with that bastard?

    • Donald Petersen says:

      Not even a PEEP about what Camping and his morlocks are doing….

      Why, I imagine they’re knock-knock-knockin’ on heaven’s door. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if they were simply never seen again?

      • Anonymous says:

        “Wouldn’t it be a hoot if they were simply never seen again?”

        Maybe, unless they all off themselves, out of disgrace and embarrassment. Heaven’s Gate & Jonestown-style suicide parties are never fun to learn about. Religious mania already does a great job of illustrating the depths of human stupidity, without them getting all dramatic about it and going that extra dirt-nap mile.

        Sometimes (but rarely), I wonder what kind of faith-based atrocity has to be committed before the human race will finally just go “This mystical shit just ain’t fucking worth it.” I imagine some pretty horrible shit that might be the straw that breaks that camel’s back, and there ain’t nothin’ funny about any of it.

  67. Philboyd Studge says:

    Bah…what a bunch of dupes. Everyone knows that Saturday is twenty days too late to immanentize the eschaton.

  68. Aloisius says:

    Can someone explain something to me? So… when the rapture comes, good christians go to heaven right? So why don’t people just have someone kill them instead? I mean, same end result right?

    • Donald Petersen says:

      I mean, same end result right?

      Sure, but without the inconveniently painful death in between.

  69. DoubleTee says:

    By a remarkable coincidence, I will be at a wedding in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

    The Church of SubGenius’ original “X-Day” has come and gone:

  70. Anonymous says:

    I’m gonna party like it’s 1999.

  71. Crashproof says:

    I thought it was meant to be 6pm California time, and thus 8pm here in St. Louis, which coincidentally is the start time of a taiko performance I’m in.

    If it’s really 6pm local time, all the abandoned cars and wandering zombies could make getting there on time difficult. That’d be inconvenient.

  72. Ipo says:

    Bye everybody! (just in case)
    Anyone planting any cherry trees? That’s what Martin Luther said he would do.

  73. Anonymous says:

    I once worked for a very large Christian book publisher. I’ve always assumed it was my back door into heaven for spreading the good word. Regardless if I ever wanted it or not.

  74. emo hex says:

    Stephen and I, along with everyone else will be nowhere.

  75. emmdeeaych says:

    Every Day is Judgement Day in America.

    Every. Single. Day.

  76. Daemon says:

    My first choice would be to call up some of the more famous and vocal rapture believers and ask them how they feel about being left behind.

    Other than that, how about having a “thank god I wasn’t raptured” party tonight?

  77. Anonymous says:

    I’m celebrating my birthday instead, maybe they can hold off the Rapture long enough?

  78. Tau'ma says:

    Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., giving a sermon titled ‘But if Not’ at the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia in November, 1967 http://dl.dropbox.com/u/82427/Rev.%20Dr.%20Martin%20Luther%20King%2C%20Jr.%20-%20But%20If%20Not.mp3 http://www.archive.org/details/MlkButIfNot

  79. Bill Beaty says:

    If any group is putting out little piles of clothing on the sidewalks, gotta add a Star Trek redshirt security uniform filled with white crystal kitty-litter. Arrange little piles of white stuff at the ends of the sleeves, and filling up the shiny black boots.

    Outside the Erotic Art opening in Seattle Fremont, leave little piles of stiletto heels, ballgag, and fuzzy handcuffs (and naught else.)


  80. Avram / Moderator says:

    If it’s 6 PM local time, then here in the US’s east coast, I’ll have five hours advance notice if it turns out the prediction is actually true. So if I hear news, in the early afternoon, about a bunch of people mysteriously vanishing in Great Britain, I can rush out to whatever church they were enrolled in and convert. It’s like having a “Get Out of Tribulation Free” card palmed.

    • Vnend says:

      Just so long as you are certain that the translations were correct, and it is the devout who are going to be vanishing. If instead it actually said that it was the sinners and heathens who were being pulled away, leaving the Earth for the meek, well, make sure you know which group you want to live with.

      (Sorry, can’t help you. I don’t read ancient Greek, Aramaic or Hebrew.)

  81. Anonymous says:

    I plan on finding a TV station or live internet feed with a camera focused directly on Harold Camping’s withered puss, and watch in delight as his latest sure thing makes an international laughingstock out of him.

    So far today I’ve already asked three blithering, hand-wringing xtians who were bothering me whether or not they didn’t have a mutual flogging / biblical circle jerk pre-Rapture gala to attend or something, so that I could get some work done – Knowing as I do that not a damn thing is going to happen, and this goddamn work isn’t going to do itself, and I’m sure as hell not going to help them on Monday morning to catch up on their shit that they’re ignoring now.

    Maybe the Jehovah’s Witnesses that have been leaving shit at my doorstep will show up tomorrow evening, around Ground Zero time. It’ll be fun to make them stand in the rain and argue while stopping every thirty seconds or so to ask ‘Did you just FEEL something? Was that a TREMOR?”

    Does anybody else here think that Camping has deliberately planned Go Time to be later on a Saturday, to reduce the possible number of irate regular businesses sueing him for lost productivity and pissed-off customers caused by idiot employees abandoning their duties and wandering out into the parking lot with their eyes closed and their arms spread wide?

  82. ashabot says:

    Everybody knows that God uses a sundial, not the UTC or even the GMT. What if He misses The Moment?

  83. Xopher says:

    I wish I knew some people who believed this garbage, so I could go around pointing at them on Sunday and yelling “BUSTED!!”

    I figure the hourly waves are to keep from overwhelming the Recording Angels, and avoid crushing people’s brand-new wings against the Pearly Gates.

    Someone on Making Light suggested leaving pairs of shoes around town with small pieces of dry ice in them. I think this is a brilliant idea.

  84. redesigned says:

    wouldn’t it be awesome if this really happened, and *poof* and the religious nutjobs were gone! Then there really would be heaven on earth…just sayn! ;-P

    • Gulliver says:

      wouldn’t it be awesome if this really happened, and *poof* and the religious nutjobs were gone! Then there really would be heaven on earth…just sayn! ;-P

      Sadly, it would only remove the sincere and pious Christians, meaning the sort that are kind and charitable. All the self-aggrandizing holier-than-thou jackasses would still be around and if they were intolerable for the last two millennia, imagine what they’d be like for five months when their only chance at redemption would be to join a holy army and grind the heathens into the ground. Not to mention that we’d still have to put up with all the other religions’ nutjobs. Too much cloud in that silver lining.

      • redesigned says:

        Sadly, it would only remove the sincere and pious Christians, meaning the sort that are kind and charitable. All the self-aggrandizing holier-than-thou jackasses would still be around.

        Except that christians don’t believe going to heaven is a function of merit, it is a function of having signed on the dotted line, you could still be a murderer and the blood of jesus would wash away your sins. So it would take most the jackasses as well…

        Not to mention that we’d still have to put up with all the other religions’ nutjobs.

        Now that is a valid point I hadn’t considered. :-)

  85. SteveKiwi says:

    Saturday is my birthday. I’m gonna be pissed if the rapture happens before I get my presents.

  86. Unexploded says:

    We’ve decided to treat like Christmas. The only difference being come Apocalypse Eve, instead of milk and cookies, I’ll be leaving out a claw hammer and some bactine.

  87. Ugly Canuck says:

    I’m gonna pull out the old LP collection, and play my copy of Debbie Harry’s “Rapture” until the record wears out. Here’s the video:


    On second thought, maybe I’ll go out dancing instead.

  88. hinten says:

    Viral video game marketing campaign?

  89. Donald Petersen says:

    Saturday? I have a tailshaft seal to replace on my ’87 Jaguar, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna do it on Sunday. (Literally, I guess.)

    I wish I could spare the time for pointin’ and laffin’ (or especially for preapocalyptic fornicatin’), but I seriously got too many chores around the house.

  90. Maggie Koerth-Baker says:

    I was going to have a party with a bouncy castle. But then the forecast called for rain and damn bouncy castle rental company canceled on me.

    That pretty much sealed my fate. I’m not interested in worshipping any god that isn’t willing to let me spend my last day on Earth in a bouncy castle.

  91. Anonymous says:

    I’ll be havin a laff because a Saturday 6pm eschaton is gonna cut into the Pirates of the Caribbean’s opening weekend box office take bigtime. Can’t Hollywood get anything right?

  92. 2k says:

    What you don’t realise.. What none of you seem to realise; is that for the last ten years, miniaturised CIA agents have been covertly painting our circulatory systems with magnetic paint.
    HAARP? A giant Sky magnet to ‘levitate’ those pre-selected as true-enough believers, up into the sky.

    Unfortunately, for those pre-selected Rapture-ee’s, there is no final stage to the plan and my sources tell me we’re all destined for the bottom of an active volcano.

    Wait a minute..!

  93. Anonymous says:

    How about a Tea Party featuring the Mad Hatter, The Cheshire Cat, Alice? With Jesus C. as the cat.

  94. Anonymous says:

    If I’m left behind and bound for you-know-where, I figure there’s no downside to organizing a Rapture skeet-shoot.

  95. Anonymous says:

    Ah what the hell. There’s nothing on TV tomorrow night anyway…

  96. leavesofjoy says:

    Me & hubby will be celebrating our 20th anniversary, hoping we can get through at least some of our lovely dinner plans before things go all Rapturey.

  97. Anonymous says:

    Has Camping spent any of his millions buying these placards and signs for his legions of idiots to wave at TV cameras, or has he let the suckers cough up their own dough?

  98. UncaScrooge says:

    Maker Fair. Seems fitting.

  99. RedShirt77 says:

    I will sin.

  100. IWood says:

    Gonna don a ‘chute and lasso me a believer on the way up so I can at least see the front gates, then skydive.

  101. Utenzil says:

    The most recently described scenario by this fellow is that it starts around the first 6pm on the planet and then works its way around. It is somewhere in the Pacific, NZ is among the first.

    East Coast time, that is about 2am that we should hear the news (or, not hear anything) from that part of the world.

    So, the scenario is like a shock wave strong enough to liquefy the Earth’s crust from pole to pole will start in that region and carry on around. Or, an intense beam from the sun near sunset that will fry everthing in a longitundinal band as the earth turns.

    The predictor has a lot on the line– if he’s wrong, he’s definitely a false prophet, and as such a prime candidate for later divine wrath.

    • Gulliver says:

      So, the scenario is like a shock wave strong enough to liquefy the Earth’s crust from pole to pole will start in that region and carry on around. Or, an intense beam from the sun near sunset that will fry everthing in a longitundinal band as the earth turns.

      Kinetic strikes and superlasing solar flares. Yup, definitely an alien invasion; I’d recognize those tropes anywhere.

    • Anonymous says:

      He’s already a false prophet since he predicted and failed before. His very own Bible (Deuteronomy 18: 20 – 22) would tell him and his followers that he is to be put to death, but they only care about the Old Testament when it’s telling them to hate gays.

  102. Ryanwoofs says:

    I’ll have just finished giving a tour of the town I live in to a former teacher I haven’t seen in 15 years, as he happens to be on a cruise ship making port here for the day.

    I do wonder how many of the nutters will off themselves when it’s apparent either the event didn’t happen or no one in the whole world is actually saved. That’s gotta mess with your faith-based initiative to live.

  103. Bill Beaty says:

    I knew something weird was going on. Usually there’s nothing, but suddenly in Seattle, Saturday is the first day of Georgetown Saturday Market (competition for Fremont Sunday Market,) also it’s the huge U-district Street fair, also it’s a planned Jigsawrenaissance road trip to Seattle Robotic Society monthly meeting, and it’s the 11-4pm monthly openhouse day for JSR. It’s the hack night for HBL Hackerbot labs, and it’s Makerbot Madness night at Metrix createspace. And it’s the yearly rock/mineral show 10am-6pm at Lake City Community center see flyer: http://www.cannonmicroprobe.com/test.htm And it’s the gallery opening for Seattle Erotic Arts Fest (see URL mentioned earlier.)

    Oh and the end of the world as well? Burma!

  104. mccrum says:

    I have plans for a Weird Al show that goes up at 8, East Coast time. So it’s either going to be cancelled or the Best Show Ever with some awesome effects.

    I just hope my car isn’t confused with one whose owner was raptured, be a real bummer to have to walk home.

    • petertrepan says:

      Post-rapture looters are going to be disappointed, I’m afraid. Any car with a fish on it will be raptured as well.

  105. lava says:

    “Judgment Day is upon us: tomorrow, Saturday May 21, at 6pm local time”

    Really? So thats a rolling Rapture starting at the international date line then? Is the Rapture daylight savings time savvy or not?

  106. george says:

    i will covering the anti gobernment riots in Chile, while nothing rapture related happens

  107. redesigned says:

    “I figure there’s no downside to organizing a Rapture skeet-shoot.”

    You just made my day. I’m going to make a t-shirt with that on it.

  108. chgoliz says:

    My 9 year old asked me tonight after dinner if we could read follow-up interviews on Sunday, because she was curious what the Rapture believers would say after they’d been proven wrong.

    I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the True Believers would either refuse to be interviewed, or come up with some cockamamie story about why the Rapture got delayed.

  109. Bucket says:

    Maker Faire.

    Those that are left behind shall plasma-cut their way into heaven!

  110. Anonymous says:

    they can’t end the world before the Stanley Cup finals are over… that would just be wrong.

    Just in case though I picked up my favorite zombie killer. A lawn edging tool. 6 inches of heavy flat steel on the end of a stick.

  111. dmcinnes says:

    My buddies and I are drinking whiskey and playing poker. Getting in all the vice we can save those that might cause morning after embarrassment if the Rapture doesn’t happen :)

  112. the_headless_rabbit says:

    I plan on going on a big, extended camping trip with all my secular friends.
    We haven’t told any of our religious friends about the trip.

    Hopefully the fundies will think that the rapture really happened, and they didn’t make the cut and got left behind.

  113. Anonymous says:

    I wonder if any of the True Believers will have the courage, after they are not “taken up”, to continue insisting that the Rapture has, in fact, occurred, and they, and everyone they know, was not worthy of the Kingdom of God.

  114. redf1sh says:

    I think ill be dealing with a wicked hangover after a “last supper” shindig tonight, and trying really hard not to point and laugh.

  115. Godfree says:

    The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

  116. Anonymous says:

    Mow the lawn, tie the vines up, hack and hew at the stump, general mucking about outside.

  117. BrendanBabbage says:

    Y’know, my prediction (duh) is that the day will come and go -BUT- the “Media” won’t report anything.

    IMO, if they give this creep press, they should hound and “Discredit” him after. Hey, the world didn’t end…have ye pushed off the day like the other groups?

  118. valdis says:

    Time zones? Almost certainly *not*. If we’re being truly Biblical, the proper time would be 6PM local solar time. After all, time zones only got invented in the last 150 years or so…

    Plus it eases all the sudden congestion at the Pearly Gates, with a few people showing up every second, rather than 6,000 every hour on the hour.

    That’s assuming that the guy didn’t get his math wrong, and the Rapture actually happened *last* week and nobody noticed, other than wondering why Carl, the nice man who helps at the soup kitchen, wasn’t there on Monday. 144,000 Raptured souls scattered planetwide isn’t enough for anybody to connect the dots easily…

  119. Anonymous says:

    Does he really think a god would abide by the human-created time zones? By the hour?

  120. TharkLord says:

    Well, its happened. They’ve all left us. Every armadillo in the world disappeared yesterday. Who could have realized that God wasn’t focused on us?

    • grikdog says:

      Ummmm… Armadillos cause (or at least carry, like Typhoid Mary) leprosy. Leaving aside the number of ‘dillos who have infested the Holy Land in times past (not many, sounds like) you could probably be forgiven for thinking that God has a wonderful plan for the lives of armadillos.

  121. Bevatron Repairman says:

    I think, here in California, we’ve got almost 19 hours of warning. So, I’ll sit tight until the wave hits, say, Poland and then start thinking about repenting. I’ve been listening to Brother Camping on and off for years — he’s an interesting fellow, for my money — and today this morning there were lots of offers on 610 AM KEAR to call in to have various materials mailed to you. I mean, jeeze, if the guy really thinks its the end, you think they’d go wire-to-wire with the “repent” message, instead of carrying on with the usual programming.

  122. voivoed says:

    Apparently, judging from what I’ve been hearing/reading, according to Christians:

    “I believe Jesus is coming back to rapture us to heaven, and it’s happening soon” <– good Christian

    “I believe Jesus is coming back to rapture us to heaven, and it’s happening tomorrow” <– crazy person

    I don’t really see what the difference is.

  123. seyo says:

    Finally got onto their site, expecting there to be some sort of pre-fabbed excuse. Lo and behold:

    What if May 21 ends and nothing occurs?
    The Biblical evidence is too overwhelming and specific to be wrong. Christ’s people can look with great confidence to this date because God promises His “beloved” He will not come upon them as a thief in the night.
    God in His mercy has revealed the vital information needed to know the day. Judgment Day on May 21, 2011 will occur because the bible declares it. Anyone whom God has not saved will arrive at that day with no hope for salvation. God warns simply the “door will be shut.”

    Wow! They’re pretty sure of themselves! Sunday dick punchings are in store for these clowns. CAN’T WAIT!

  124. TombKing says:

    Sadly updating servers with the latest round of patches, etc.
    Somebody has to keep the stuff running after all the true believers are whisked away.

    • Anonymous says:

      Fixing critical bugs from our internal bug tracker.

      “Somebody has to keep the stuff running after all the true believers are whisked away.”

    • Donald Petersen says:

      Somebody has to keep the stuff running after all the true believers are whisked away.

      A truly noble sacrifice, sir. Let me buy you a beer once all the Chosen riffraff are out of the way.

      It makes me wonder: if, by mad happenstance, we actually do start hearing of the saved folks risin’ up to meet their Savior in the air? Especially with a few hours’ warning. How many of you would scramble to repent in time? And how many of you would rather say “No thanks, I don’t subscribe to the mission statement of this team. Skinny-dipping in a lake of fire sounds preferable to an eternity spent with Prop 8 supporters, school-prayer enforcers, holy warriors, “restored” virgins, televangelists, sexual repressives, spinster aunts and bad dancers.”

      I’m stayin’ here, in case you couldn’t guess.

      • Gulliver says:

        I’d also try to track down this Camping fellow since it would stand to reason that he sold us out to the aliens and it might be possible to encourage some useful information out of him or his followers.

      • Gulliver says:

        It makes me wonder: if, by mad happenstance, we actually do start hearing of the saved folks risin’ up to meet their Savior in the air? Especially with a few hours’ warning. How many of you would scramble to repent in time? And how many of you would rather say “No thanks, I don’t subscribe to the mission statement of this team. Skinny-dipping in a lake of fire sounds preferable to an eternity spent with Prop 8 supporters, school-prayer enforcers, holy warriors, “restored” virgins, televangelists, sexual repressives, spinster aunts and bad dancers.”

        I’d assume it was ruse for an alien invasion and starting arming up. It’s the more logical conclusion.

  125. george says:

    so anyone knows what’s gonna happen with the sweet 80 millions that camping raised with this scam?

  126. genre slur says:

    Trans-reading Rudy Rucker’s Post-singular, RAW’s Illuminatus! the book of Chuang-Tzu, Lyall Watson’s Beyond Supernature, various folk-tale (IE Persian, Bengali, west African, Chinese, First-Nation) compendiums, and a few novelettes (IE The Education of Drusilla Strange, The (widget) the (wadget) and Boff, Slow Sculpture, A Way of Thinking) by Theodore Sturgeon. All while smoking, drinking valpolicella-or-amontillado and listening to an unmastered six-track recording I’ve been working on. Typical Saturday night, then.

  127. Anonymous says:

    Welp! it’s 6:15pm in Tonga! But since there are less that 200,000 people there, we can’t really be certain if this shitstorm has hit yet.

  128. Tau'ma says:

    Well, it’s 6PM here and … what? WAIT! Where’d eveerybody go? :-)
    This goes out to all 17 year olds everywhere who knew the pain of raptures and valentines that never came … and to all of us who remain, forever 17 at heart. http://youtu.be/7oCTMcbQ1QE Lyrics http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/115493/

  129. hermia says:

    I’m doing the Relay for Life tomorrow (American Cancer Society fundraiser) and listening to… The Rapture.


    Seems appropriate, really.

  130. Eric says:

    I got a new Cobra Crane for my HVX this week and we were planning on shooting tests with it today. Rather then just random shots I got some actor friends to come over and wrote a Rapture appropriate script. I just finished lighting the Green screen setup and we start shooting at Noon. I’ll post a link to the finished product when it is done.

  131. redesigned says:

    Sigh. I’m going to be watching politically correct liberals insulting Christianity and saying things that, had their targets been Jews or Gays or Moslems, would get them thrown out of civilized society and abandoned on an ice floe.

    Yeah, heaven forbid they forget their fair minded rationalism and act like christians! Remember christians don’t have a monopoly on hypocritical douchbaggery.

    And they’ll get away with it, because Brother Camping is, with all due respect, acting like an idiot.

    Why is he acting like an idiot? Because he is predicting something idiotic, the christian rapture. If you believe in the rapture and that it is actually going to happen then there is nothing idiotic about predicting it…so you get the date wrong. Weathermen aren’t idiots for predicting rain when the storm clouds pass over. It is the idea that idiotic, not the date.

  132. triscuit says:

    I wonder who will be more disappointed on the 22nd?

  133. Anonymous says:

    Today at Kroger.

    2 guys were standing behind me in a fairly long checkout line.
    Dude: “Man, this is longer than the line at the beer store!”
    Man: (matter-of-factly) “Dude, everybody’s gettin’ ready for the Rapture.”
    Me: “Yeah, you don’t wanna hit Heaven sober!”

    Get a good buzz, because you don’t know how long you’ll have to be in line.

  134. Lonorising says:

    Weird… Coulda swore I saw Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and Bill Hicks floating off into the sky last night.
    What if the fundies were wrong? What if Jesus would rather have a good laugh than spend eternity with 144,000 self-righteous, sanctimonious hypocrites?

    • chgoliz says:

      What if the fundies were wrong? What if Jesus would rather have a good laugh than spend eternity with 144,000 self-righteous, sanctimonious hypocrites?

      According to the stories written about that character, there’s no “what if?” about it. The guy had no patience for “self-righteous, sanctimonious hypocrites”.

  135. Dave Faris says:

    You guys are going to look pretty stupid when the lakes of fire open up, that’s all I can say.

  136. pepsibookcat says:

    So, it’s 6:58pm Sat. in Tonga right now. How’s it hangin, guys?

  137. Anonymous says:

    Er… sex?

    Lots and lots of unspeakably kinky sex? As always?

    That’s rapture-y enough for us, believe me…

  138. genre slur says:

    The above wakey thank you is also for you GULLIVER. Seriously good way to wake up!

  139. Anonymous says:

    You know, Sunday service this weekend is going to be reeeeeeeally fun. “Guess we now know who’s a sinner, eh?”

  140. Anonymous says:

    The 21st. is St. Helena day. So celebrate with everyone at 15°56′S 5°43′W!!!

  141. Gulliver says:

    Except that christians don’t believe going to heaven is a function of merit, it is a function of having signed on the dotted line, you could still be a murderer and the blood of jesus would wash away your sins. So it would take most the jackasses as well…

    My understanding was that certain sects believe that is enough, while others believe you have to do good works as well on the theory that if you’re not doing good things you haven’t sincerely accepted Christ as your breakfast toast, or something like that. But I could be wrong. I couldn’t keep the details of everyone’s fantasies straight even if I wanted to.

    • genre slur says:

      Including those of Darwinists, I suppose ;)

      • Gulliver says:

        Including those of Darwinists, I suppose ;)


        Don’t get me wrong, atheist zealots can be every bit as insufferable as religious zealots. Nuttiness is a quality of human nature, not spiritual memes.

      • redesigned says:

        The good thing about science…take evolution for example:
        1. Darwin makes a hypothesis, then through empirical observation of divergence of living creatures creates the theory of evolution.
        2. A new branch of science emerges called Paleontology, the study of fossils, and the evidence observed through that branch confirms #1
        3. A new branch of science emerges called Genetics, and the evidence observed through that branch confirms #1
        4. Now two other branches, Micro-biology, and Zoology have both witnessed firsthand evolution within short time spans confirming #1
        As more knowledge becomes available we further refine and reinforce our understanding. The belief in evolution is based on empirical evidence.

        The difficult thing with religion…take creationism for example:
        1. No two religions agree with or share the same creation story.
        2. Even within a religion, consensus on something as basic as creation is highly fragmented.
        3. There is nothing to base the belief in creationism on besides faith, same as when the idea was first penned.
        4. The more time that passes the more empirical evidence we have against most creation interpretations.

        Being a practical guy, I believe the facts and what I can know about the world around me. If something cannot be known and must be taken on faith then it doesn’t really have any practical application or benefit for me, and will most likely be proven wrong at some point.

        • genre slur says:

          Appreciating something approaching multi-model agnosticism allows one to acknowledge veracity within your modular assertion. Yet the Charles Fort in me wishes those following this ‘vein’ to please over view http://www.galilean-library.org/manuscript.php?postid=43843 for context. Feyerabend in this road may shed special light on an interesting subject. Repetitio mater studiorum est, yet Exceptio probat regulam. As it has been noted. Lo!

          • Gulliver says:

            We are not suggesting that empiricism is sufficient to understand the world. We are suggesting that paradigms which ignore empiricism are not equally valid to those that embrace it. This could certainly be wrong – there is no guarantee the senses are at all accurate – but most scientists and engineers are pragmatists first and philosophers second, so we use the tools that work. And yes, complacency can grip scientific communities just as it can other social organizations; scientists are no less human. But most scientists also make it a priority to seek out the exceptions to the rules. That is, perhaps, the most salient point. Good scientists try to smash their own theories before others can smash them for them, and in empirical science that includes the axioms, despite what Feyerabend evidently assumes. Religions try to defend dogma at all costs. Feyerabend’s critiques are not entirely invalid, but they do not render superstition and science equally realistic.

            Also “willing slaves” is an oxymoron. He is correct that subjugating others to a scientific way of life is inequitable. It’s also imprudent since there is no guarantee injustices will not be inverted if and when science falls out of favor. Just government depends on balanced liberty, not technocracy. I would no more seek to force someone to make use of “Western science” than I would allow them to force me to pray to their deity, and I consider any attempt to do so to be a gross violation of autonomy, i.e. actual slavery. But that does not compel me to agree that their beliefs are equally valid.

            Feyerabend’s essay makes a host of presumptions about what scientists believe and how they feel. This is, simply put, pigeonholing. Scientists are individuals surely as any other group’s constituents. Making broad-brush strokes only serves to undermine his arguments with the very people he encourages to be less dogmatic. In his self-appointment as moral arbiter of the scientist’s proper position in society he misses the point that scientists have achieved wealth and influence (though I’m not sure from what parallel reality he got the idea we are overflowing with sex appeal) because the theories and technologies they’d produced have improved the general quality of life. Science has succeeded in spite of tradition, not because of it. It is embraced so widely precisely because it is widely valued for its results, not some indoctrinated standard stamped into the minds of every schoolchild.

            Public action was used against science by the Communists in China in the fifties, and it was again used, under very different circumstances, by some opponents of evolution in California in the seventies. Let us follow their example and let us free society from the strangling hold of an ideologically petrified science just as our ancestors freed us from the strangling hold of the One True Religion!

            Good luck selling that.

            But hey, if you really believe science is a fairy-tale and engineers slaves to superstition, best of luck with that. The beauty of evolution, IMHO, is that it does not and cannot care what we consider realistic; it will select for permutations which can survive.

          • redesigned says:

            thanks for stating it better then i could. especially this:

            paradigms which ignore empiricism are not equally valid to those that embrace it.

          • Gulliver says:

            thanks for stating it better then i could.

            It was a fascinating essay. And I agree that Feyerabend did make some excellent points. But he also missed some and he grossly mischaracterized the archetype mentality of the many many scientists and engineers I’ve met in my time.

            Lest my disagreement come across as contentiousness, I’d like to echo your thanks, redesigned, to genre slur for an interesting read. Although I don’t agree with all the conclusions in it, it was well worth the time. As a professional engineer and “wisdom lover” I do value contrarian points of view. One of Feyerabend’s best recommendations is the need to expose one’s self to a wide variety of paradigms in order to make informed choices about which are best for one’s self.

          • redesigned says:

            Thank you very much for the fascinating read. Many of the incorrect or inaccurate assumptions Feyerabend makes about science are common misconceptions about science from people coming from philosophical or religious backgrounds.

            It is unfortunately the inevitable outcome of applying the lense of one paradigm to a different unrelated paradigm, instead of trying to fully understand the different paradigm on its own. Akin to christians thinking buddhists worship the buddha because they are applying their religious paradigm to a completely different belief system. it leads to all sorts of incorrect conclusions.

            Nonetheless, he raises many points to contemplate, and I’ll reread this in the morning when I am better able to adsorb all that I’m reading.

            He misses the way science has setup and is constantly improving ways to remove personal bias and beliefs from its methodology with its internal checks and balances through things like double blind, etc. Which invalidates many of his points and some of that is due to when he wrote this piece.

            He fails to grasp the difference between scientific laws, facts, theories, and hypothesis, which is crucial if one is to understand the difference and importance of each classification. This alone invalidates many of his points. I’m surprised by this, especially since he seems to have given this much though.

            He suggests scientific facts should be voted upon which is ludicrous. Facts are not up for debate, theories and hypothesis maybe, but even then common consensus often flies in the face of reality and is slow to catch up, such as the earth orbiting the sun or the earth being round, etc…which is why science purposefully avoids this obvious trap. If it followed his advice it would be no better then religion at describing the world or enabling innovation, and would be an arbitrary set of misconceptions.

            And before you say that those two former examples are scientific facts changing, I’d point you to this excellent essay:
            That better explains the progression he completely misunderstands at the end of his essay.

            He also goes on and on about scientists forcing their beliefs on others and trying to indoctrinate them. While that is an accurate description of most religions, I’ve never met a scientist in my entire life that has done either, and I’ve met a lot. Science has spread and propagated because it is a constantly self refining and improving cataloging of what can be know, tested, and repeated. Anything false gets culled, only that which stands up to numerous different tests remains. It is not a belief system. Because it provides such an accurate description of the empirical universe, its practical application has allowed for every single piece of technology we use today, and most of our understanding of the natural world around us. No one forces religious people to drive cars, use computers, fly in planes, use medicine, or in any other way place their “faith” in things provided by the knowledge gained through science. It is these vast improvements in medicine, transportation, communication, and unfortunately weaponry that science enabled that has lead to its spread and adoptace, not some sort of dogmatic preaching or agenda as he quite mistakenly claims.

            While this piece is very outdated in its thinking, it did raise some good points to consider as well. thanks again.

          • genre slur says:

            Went to bed, woke up to your posts. Thank you for the dialogue. It makes me happy that one may communicate in this manner. BB helps a person who wakes up alone start the day with a mental breakfast!

  142. chappai says:

    I am going to get up early and take pairs of old jeans and t-shirts and place them around the sidewalks and play areas of the apartment complex before everyone gets up. Could be very entertaining. :)

  143. Dread Pirate Robert says:

    On the official website of The Rapture (http://www.wecanknow.com/) it says that May 21 is only the beginning… the whole thing actually runs until October 21, and only THEN do we get the big finish… what with the explosions and destruction and end of earth and dancing bears etc.

    I know, you’re disappointed. But at least we still get to see the rest of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Go Canucks!

  144. Gulliver says:

    Okay, no one else did it yet, so I guess it’s up to me.


  145. Anonymous says:

    I’m going to go a thrift store and spend about $100 on the cheapest clothes I can find. Then I’m going to lay them out around my neighborhood in complete sets so it looks like people’s bodies were raptured right out of their clothes on their way up to Heaven.

    The looks on my annoyingly religious neighbor’s faces should be frickin’ priceless. :)

  146. Flashman says:

    Ha! We have one of those billboards here in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It’s been up all winter; can’t believe the big day is finally here. I won’t bother doing the dishes, just in case.

  147. IshMEL says:

    I think tomorrow’s a great day to change my identity and disappear.

  148. jtegnell says:

    I’m in Japan, where it’s already tomorrow.

    Now, I wouldn’t expect to notice a lot of people ascending to heaven on wings of glory in a country that’s 0.5% Christian, which also puts a disappointing damper on looting activities, but I would think there’d be at least SOME degree of holy retribution here, don’tcha think?

    Alas, nothing. Business as usual.

  149. HatOfEdshu says:

    I wish the rapture’s time table was a little more specific.

    I guess the devil is in the details…

  150. Anonymous says:

    It’s almost the 23rd here. Guess I missed it. Anyone notice anything strange?



    Ah crap!

  151. Kosmoid says:

    Somewat OT: Too easy being an atheist skydiver these days.

    When I started there were only 28′ round canopies called cheapos. Cut out some of the back panels and that was the hottest thing you could jump. Metal cones and pins kept the container closed, and all it would take would be a few grains of sand to produce a hard pull. There you are pounding the ripcord handle with both hands as you begin to roll over on your back, about 12 seconds away from meeting Jeebus.

    I know I’m goin to hebben, so don’t challenge me to a tracking contest.

  152. dshan says:

    Hmm, that’s Sunday morning Sydney time. I guess I’ll be doing what I always do on a Sunday morning – having a beer. It’s a religious thing.

  153. Nicholas Barry says:

    Laying out empty sets of clothes on the ground for people to find! (See the facebook event here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=221256144553154 )

  154. jeffbell says:

    What about Newfoundland?

  155. tofuterror says:

    So, do the other planets have their rapture time before or after us? Does each solar system have it’s own “God” and therefore a different rapture timetable?

  156. janusnode says:

    I am optimistically getting married today. Only one or two guests stand the slightest chance of being picked out for the rapture, so I guess the show will go on.

  157. pepsibookcat says:

    I am a Christian but not the douchebag kind. I live in a hellhole town of Southern Baptists and those who make them look liberal. I am surrounded by Jesus Camp types. *sigh*

    To start with, as a completely mortified Christian who is ashamed of these assholes and their nonsense, tonight I’m going to whip up a t-shirt to wear tomorrow.

    “I’m not with stupid.”

    Beyond that? I dunno. Probably sleep late, then work on crocheting hats and scarves and cutting out squares for patchwork blankets for tornado/flood relief, and then work on getting things together for the gallery showing of my photographs in July while watching the old 1934 B&W movie The Thin Man. Oh, and I’m going to whip up a batch of cupcakes to surprise my son when he gets home Sunday afternoon (to celebrate the last week of school before summer vacation! Squeee!). I’m figuring God would prefer a normal, decent day over one spent running around alienating people from faith. *shrugs*

  158. TombKing says:

    well come and gone here in the pacific northwest while i had a very tasty tuna steak for dinner. i guess i get to update servers and listen to heathen music for the next 6 hours or so.

Leave a Reply