Yelp review for $8 billion Kansas Abortionplex (after the viral Onion article on same)

Remember the (fictitious, funny) Onion article "Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex"? Now the famed Abortionplex is on Yelp. Free nachos and mojitos after your partial birth abortion, with a Yelp discount code! As noted in a previous Boing Boing post, many people believe the Abortionplex (and other Onion coverage) is real. I can't wait for the credulous Fox News coverage to kick in.

Here's one recent review:

Everyone loves Abortionplex, but true fans know that the real magic is found in the secret menu. A 2x3 lets you sandwich in movie screenings at the theater before, between and after ridding yourself of potential twins. An 8x8? Spend your day easily breezing from Octomom to Oscars noms. Hold the butter on that popcorn though - you're not eating for 9 anymore!
Tell your doc you want The Flying Dutchman if you want to squeeze your abortion appointment in between two pieces of meat, if you know what I mean, and let's face it, you always know what I mean.
But real pros know that nothing satisfies your hunger for an empty uterus quite as much as well as Animal Style. In this iteration of the classic abortion, after the doctor perfectly vacuums the contents of your uterus, she then fills it with a secret sauce filled with tiny unicorns which will trot around poking holes in your uterine lining and preventing zygotes from taking hold for at least 6 months. But let's face it, even if you're already filled to the brim with tiny unicorns and think you won't be abortion-hungry again for a while, you know you'll be poking around Abortionplex tomorrow on your lunch break. It's too good to stay away!

(thanks, Susannah!)

Facebook updates from people who don't know The Onion is a humor ...

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.

MORE: Funny • health • politics • pop culture • Science • Sex

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quicksand

Don’t laugh too hard. This week, Boingboing fell for the equally fake story about a guy catching a laptop thief using “hidden” software (that can somehow take pictures of the computer it’s installed on from across the room) – and that equally fake story is now being reported in the mainstream press.
In Blue

This article reminded me of a online comic page from a while ago. It’s a very good webcomic, but perhaps not the most work safe.

http://templaraz.com/?p=105

I’m tempted to write a yelp review influenced by this page.
Locien

Have any conservatives caught on that this is a joke? I can’t imagine that no one among them would not notice that for so long.
- Anonymous
  
  Shhhh, don’t be tellin’!
Jake0748

Ok… now… if anyone takes THIS seriously and starts ranting about it (I mean the reviews) and yeah, it might be hard to tell… we should really, totally this time, start worrying about the fate of the human race.
EMJ

Abortion is too real for me to find this funny.
- Jake0748
  
  Yes, abortion is real. So are chickens, priests and rabbis, knocks on the door, war, god (maybe), politics, sex, love, hate and ignorance, etc. etc.
  We make jokes about all of them. Sometimes we laugh.
  Are you saying that only things that are not real can be funny?
  
  Why are you reading this thread anyway?
Capissen

Oh god…the lulz….it hurts so good.
Anonymous

I imagine the original Onion article was full of LOLs, but this Yelp digression has a distinct taste of someone Not Getting It.

Drunk chick social photos? Really?

And some of the text-based “humor” only works if you buy into several already too-predominant assumptions about women who get abortions. It’s almost as if someone forwarded the Yelp gag URL to the gang at Oral Roberts, and fundies who think they’re “South Park Republicans” all got their humor on.
Mister44

Hey hey – how ’bout your favorite dead baby joke?
- Jake0748
  
  How ’bout it? What’s your point?
  - Mister44
    
    Just spreading the border-line inappropriate dark humor.
Anonymous

I noticed to things that I don’t see anyone else commenting on.

All the yelp reviews were funny and well written. Usually they are not. Most people are not that talented at writing funny text.

All the reviews were done betweeen May 31 and June 2. That is a lot for the 294 reviews to get posted by random people.

I wonder if the reviews themselves (as well as creating the Abortionplex profile on Yelp) were done by the talented writers at the Onion.
proto opus

’tis a pity they didn’t use the address for fred phelps’ church.
Kimmo

Let’s all just keep stepping it up a notch; continuously intensify the piss-taking of the fucktard brigade until it reaches a deafening crescendo that finally penetrates their thick skulls.
- Anonymous
  
  I think they’re everyone’s due for a good trepanning, myself. Getting a bit of air to their brains’ll do ‘em worlds of good.
Anonymous

If the Beijing Evening News – a state-run paper – can treat an Onion article about Congress wanting a new Capitol or they’ll leave DC as real proof of how those pathetic Americans capitalist pigs think of nothing but me, me, me, it’s hardly surprising that certain people on both sides might see this and actually take it seriously.
Jake0748

Ah, so… then I’ve got one… :)
Antinous / Moderator

Hello, I’m Thad. I’ll be your server today. May I take your fetus or do you need a little more time?
- Artimus Mangilord
  
  Feed us fetus fajitas!
  - chgoliz
    
    *splutter*
    
    Tea. Monitor. You owe me!
Sam125

LOL BRILLIANT!!!
mindysan33

That… is … awesomesauce! And one of the pictures is from Amanda Palmer’s Oasis video! Truly funny.
Manooshi

Too frickin’ funny! The Onion $8 billion Abortionplex article was full of lolz, but these Yelp “reviews” took it to the NEXT LEVEL.

Fuck YES. Yay, interwebs!!
muteboy

The UK Times Higher Education Supplement has a very interesting profile of Stella Browne, who campaigned for the legalization of abortion in the 1930′s.
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storyCode=416214&sectioncode=26

via the excellent Flesh Is Grass: http://fleshisgrass.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/stella-browne/
duncan

Facebook reacts:
http://www.bannedinhollywood.com/reactions-to-the-onions-abortionplex-article-thank-god-for-stupid-people-maybe-thank-smart-people-for-science/
Teller

All it needs is a sidebar roofie ad.
IronEdithKidd

I’m getting more lulz out of rubes believing an Onion article to be “news” than anything else. The next article is called “Nation down to last 100 grown-ups”, FFS.
- chgoliz
  
  Yeah, really…everyone knows there’s only 15 of us left.
JonStewartMill

Interestingly, when I attempted to ‘like’ that page on StumbleUpon, I got
“404 :(
We’re sorry. That site appears to be unavailable. Please try again later”

First time I’ve ever seen that (on a page that loaded fine for me), and I’ve been on SU for 6+ years.
Roy Trumbull

Now we know what to do with those empty Borders stores.
On the serious side, once you set loose something like this you never know where it will go. A reporter’s joke got into the pipeline and was picked up as real. He tried to choke it but 2 years later it was still floating about.
I think one could make a really good rag about the Republicans joining the Chinese Communist party. Wouldn’t take much imagination. Nixon would do anything. Considering how the tail now wags the dog it would be great fun.
roboton

That’s funny, my friend created that about a week or so ago after the whole Facebook thing where the righties couldn’t tell the onion article was fake.

Pure Awesome to see this go from a facebook prank to Boing Boing!
Anonymous

Also found on Google Maps:

http://maps.google.com/maps/place?cid=9869680200131835842&q=Abortionplex,+Topeka,+KS&hl=en&sll=38.999442,-95.687485&sspn=0.124039,0.006295&ie=UTF8&ll=39.115411,-95.893822&spn=0,0&t=h&z=12
Mantissa128

from Octomom to Oscars noms

I think my brain self-aborted. Thank goodness.
Rob

This is part of Satins plan for the Internet!

You laugh, you lose… your immortal soul!

Y’all are all goin ta he’ll, you bunch of morans!
- Jake0748
  
  So a type of cloth has plans for the internet? Who knew.
  
  And who you callin’ morans, you jirk?
blueelm

Hey, man… when the shallow self-serving caricature created to deny human beings medical attention is so prevalent one can’t tell a joke about the idiotic caricature from their own expectations of reality… at that point all there is to do is laugh.

Laugh laugh laugh (and possibly really build an abortionplex).
- chgoliz
  
  ^ ^ Hear, hear.
  
  Laugh laugh laugh (and possibly really build an abortionplex)
  
  And provide free transport.