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Bad idea for a custom Visa card

Cory Doctorow at 7:51 pm Wed, Jun 8, 2011

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This aptly titled, unsourced Internet image suggests a truly bad idea for your custom, upload-your-own-design CapitalOne Visa: graphical text reading THIS IS A ROBBERY/I HAVE A GUN/EMPTY YOUR REGISTER.

(Thanks, Fipi Lele!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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  • Tgg161

    Why use the cl.ly ‘shortner’ when reddit has it’s own abbreviated urls? — redd.it/ht26i

    • Chong

      TIL.
      The amount of times I must have seen that but never paid attention it.

    • wrybread

      Ha that URL shortener needs a URL shortener. I’d suggest friskypriests.com.

  • voiceinthedistance

    Three chamber credit card Russian roulette. Either they laugh, ignore you, or blow you head off with the gun under the counter.

    • Weeble

      That’s for sure. If someone came into my shop and handed that to me, they’d be pepper-sprayed, handcuffed, and laid out on the floor, waiting for the cops to show up, before they knew what hit them. And if they were so foolish as to even intimate that they had a weapon, they’d have some new body orifices in them.

  • Lobster

    Meh. Self-correcting.

  • Gotanda

    Actually, it could be a really good card if you only plan to use it for online shopping and want to stop yourself (or anyone else) for using for a shopping spree in real life.

    • g0d5m15t4k3

      On the same note, There are so many hilarious applications for this that would make credit card thieves think before they use the card. “I have the super bad bleeding hurting herpes, ask me about them.” “I smuggle coke for a living.”

      One time, in the memo field of a check I wrote to pay back a friend I wrote “Hilter rape fantasy”. That started my tradition of writing sick things in the memo fields of every check (except rent, I don’t want to piss my land lord off).

  • Mike The Bard

    Personally, I’ve always wanted to make one up that says “By accepting this card, you agree to release and absolve the bearer for any contracts, debts, or other agreements resulting from said transaction…”

    …And then use it to purchase software for which I will flagrantly violate the EULA. Just to see how the lawsuit turns out.

    • MythicalMe

      As a small business merchant I can tell you that you’d get exactly nowhere. The reseller does not provide the terms under which the buyer may use the product, only the terms under which the product may be purchased.

      Incidentally, resellers have already bought the product from the manufacturer or distributor. We can’t bind manufacturers to any agreement, which is why I only offer refunds on unopened items (clearly posted). It is up to the manufacturer to handle their own warranties.

      • Jamie Craig

        In the UK, that policy won’t fly. There’s a contract between you and your customer (whether you post notices or not) that basically gives the customer various rights relating to things like fitness-for-purpose etc.

        The contract is with whoever sells them the product, not with the manufacturer, and you can’t disclaim it, so the customer is quite entitled to bring the goods back regardless.

      • bhtooefr

        Actually, because all contracts are with the seller…

        But, first sale has been entirely killed if the product in question is made outside of the US.

  • EH

    I HAVE A GUB
    ABT NATURAL

  • dheisel

    Capital One will not approve of that to be printed. They have repeatedly denied my design of simple bold black text on white saying “This is your God” as a reference to ‘They Live’.

  • Anonymous

    This rivals an idea I cooked up with my wife one day: a drivers license holder shaped like a gun that you keep in the glove compartment. It only opens through voice activation, specifically you must scream the phrase “I’m gonna git you, muthahfuckah!” before it clicks open. The possibility for hilarity during traffic stops is endless.

  • Anonymous

    What could possibly go wrong?

  • Anonymous

    Isn’t that the design for the Goldman-Sachs corporate card?

  • Parcanman

    Ok, let me just charge the full amount in the drawer to your card, and here’s all the cash, and you have a nice day sir.

  • Marty O’B

    I have a CC where I can upload a pic to customize it. They screen everything before actually mailing out.

    If this image is legit, you probably wouldn’t actually get it.

  • IamInnocent

    THIS IS NOT A ROBERY.
    EMPTY YOUR REGISTER
    AND GIVE ME BACK MY
    BAILOUT MONEY.

  • MrBawn

    Pffft! Nobody looks at credit cards anymore anyway. It’s just swipe and go.

  • Chong

    Reddit thread here http://cl.ly/1D2J2X1R1s0v2Q3V1l1b though I have no idea if that is the actual source.