This machine destroys everything

[Video Link]. Update: Previously blogged on BB. Here is a link to the "shred of the month" archive.

(via Jon Swaine / spaceghetto)



  1. FINALLY!!ELEVEN! A reliable solution for destroying limp celery! There is hope for our world after all.

  2. I never thought I would see a man shred tampons to a cheesy 80’s soundtrack.

    Thank you Boing Boing. Thank you so much.

    1. The soundtrack IS awesome (I wonder if it is on itunes…) These machines are commonly used in wastewater treatment facilities to grind up sewage (and other random items that make it into the sewer system) prior to it being sent to digester tanks for bacteria to begin working its magic.

    2. If you look at the soda cans, those were circa 1985 or so. The Diet Pepsi cans are a dead giveaway.

    1. I suspect they wanted to demonstrate that the machine can shred soft, pliable materials as well as hard, brittle materials.

      I could see a sufficiently soft material passing through one of these machines more intact than a hard one, by being deformed and stretched by the wheels instead of ripped apart or shredded.

      1. Actually, things like rags tend to wrap, and then the next solid through tends to enhance the chewing process. Eventually, even cloth fails to survive. I’ve seen Muffin Monsters eat rocks. The one thing I ever saw one have a real problem with was cable, like the kind that they use for guy-wires on phone poles. They do really fun things to golf balls too, they tend to take a bite and then pitch them! I didn’t watch the video, but I *did* work in a Wastepaper treatment plant.

  3. Holy health and safety batman! Hope they had someone sitting with their finger on the off button in case someone caught a hand in that thing.

    1. Alternatively, will it destroy a blend-tec blender? Also, will it destroy a blend-tec blender which is blending another of it, which… (et cetera)

  4. I’m most impressed with its utter lack of safety features.

    “C’mon over here kids and let your Uncle Irksome show you a cool new toy.”

  5. It’s a compact version of the muffin monster from 30 Days of Night! I need one in case of vampires!

    1. Ahh… Clever, very Clever and FOOLISH! No Way out.
      At my mercy and I don’t have any, you are at my nothing.

  6. So what happens if you take two of these machines and try to feed one to the other?

  7. Muffin Monster! My father worked at the Justice Center in downtown Portland where they had one of these operating. It’s supposed to grind up anything the inmates will flush down the toilets, hence the tampon / sanitary napkin demonstration.

  8. Slaughterhouses use huge machines like these to grind up livestock, pretty disgusting.

  9. I can see the benefits of smaller landfill/more food additive, but is it cost reductive? Please remember to recycle wood pallets at the sausage factory.

  10. Health and safety-tastic. I like it when he plunges his hands into a box of shredded metal. I guess he must’ve already shredded his gloves.

    I was waiting to see him shred a board made of asbestos next…

  11. Ohhhhhh this is a metaphor for SooooOOOOoooo many things I don’t know where to start…..:)

  12. That’s the machine out of 30 Days of Night (the film version) that eats that man’s hand near the end

      1. Wow, that gave me flashbacks to the Brave Little Toaster desperately fleeing the car crusher in the junkyard

        Yay! Brave Little Toaster :D

  13. “And thus concludes my destruction of everything my ex-wife owned or gave me. From her tampons, to her precious $%@!ing tennis balls, to the Army blanket she gave me when she kicked me out of the house, to the roll of insulation that we never used because we had to sell the house on account of the divorce.”

    1. Yeah, when I saw the title I thought the video was going to be a freaky mash-up of Woodie Guthrie.

  14. This thing, and its bigger siblings are truly nightmarish.

    Interestingly (or not) you can see it choke on couple things. The pink insulation and, i think, the sofa cushions.

  15. Even _I_ can chew up ikea furniture. I use it as a substitute for $5/box high fiber cereal.

    Not sure about all the femhyg prods tho. Is it me, or did the presenter seem to spend just a bit more time fondling their remains than the rest of the victims.

  16. Thank you! I have been going bonkers trying to decide what I was going to use for the mouth of the “Robot Who Will Help Me Destroy The World” I am currently developing. I was torn between rapidly chomping metal teeth or a simple flamethrower, but this is inspired. It will make post-devastation clean-up so much more efficient too.

  17. “Blake, have you seen my tampons? Blake, honey? My tampons? What did you do with my tampons?”

  18. We’ve got a smaller version of this at work, the Techs use to destroy the harddrives from decomissioned computers.

    Only it broke down. The aluminium metal in the harddrives sort of got stuck on the wheels (looked like someone fed it chewing gum) and the apparatus seized up.

  19. Yes, not sure why we needed to see the machine gobble tampons and pads. Must be some latent he-man women hater psychosis being acted upon there.

    1. You can’t think of any reasons why potential customers of a shredding machine producer might be concerned about whether or not durable, but pliable and compressible, interlink fiber products that very commonly show up in consumer waste streams will be shredded successfully, rather than jamming the machine and forcing processing to stop while somebody cleans it out?

      You don’t have to look too hard for slightly covert misogyny in the media; but, until they just started amusing themselves with the sofa and things, the series of objects looked like a pretty standard lineup of “assorted things you might commonly find coming down the sewer line, with a few representatives from each category that might be of concern”…

  20. But what does it do to bone and flesh? I need a shredder that can handle lots and lots of bone and flesh.

  21. *shudders*
    I have this weird thing about destruction. Couldn’t tell you why, or really explain it, but.

    This… thing… is an abomination. AN ABOMINATION I TELL YOU.

  22. The teeth looked thoroughly jammed after it ate certain things, like it would have to be meticulously cleaned by hand.

  23. Based on the title I was really hoping for a giant robot that shoots laser beams out of its eyes.

    Nevertheless, cool vid.

  24. I used to work on a ship where we regularly had to take apart sewage grinders at 2am because a member of crew had flushed a tampon or wetwipe. they’re very difficult to shred properly, and its something you’d definitely want to include in a promotional video. mind you, i’d also include safety features in a promotional video… get your hand in that, and it wouldn’t even slow down as it pulled your whole arm in.

    1. @ Anon #94

      I do have to wonder at all the feminine product munching

      You didn’t read the comments above yours, did you?

  25. I know this is kind of old tech, but wouldn’t one of these upstream of one of those vacuum/tornado pulverizers make the perfect solid waste disposal setup?

  26. Looking at the company its designed for sanitation systems so feminine products are relevant. Really cool, would be excellent for data destruction.

  27. Fuck the Home Shopping Network. THIS is what I want to pass out to at 3 in the morning.

    1. >If only there had been one of these at Rivendell…

      “Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve produced…”

  28. It’s like I have always said…You have to know someone to get all the good jobs. Why can’t I get paid to break stuff…I am really good at it, I will even collect and organize any data you want. Oh…you want to know if we can shred a car to make it fit in a trash can? No problem sir. On my way now.

    I would probably show up early to that job and whistle like the 7 dwarfs on my way.

  29. Somehow, I think you don’t fully understand the power of this machine until you’ve seen it shred live pigs. It’s out there.

    1. If it can destroy a diamond, then I believe it can destroy everything.

      Multi-Walled Carbon Nanotubes.




  30. I’ve worked quite a bit with the JWC “muffin monster”. They are expensive, very high maintenance piles of junk.

  31. I got to admit, I was disappointed they didn’t throw in that forklift they had in the background at the end.

  32. How can they claim it destroys EVERYTHING? They didn’t even try a Guinea Pig with an Adamantium skeleton.

  33. These marbles seems to be too smooth. They’re just rolling around on top. Here, let me push them in … oww, my finger. Somebody switch off this thing quick. My arms. My head. … crunch.

  34. it’s the perfect gift for that person on everyone’s list who has everything and FUCKING HATES IT ALL!

  35. Someone needs to dub this video to make the machine go OM NOM NOM NOM! CHAIR! OM NOM NOM! SHOE! MY FAVOURIT! NOM NOM! MORE SHOE! NOM NOM!

  36. I want to see it break up old solid (Claughton brickworks) red house bricks & paving flags.

  37. My dad works with these bad-boys. Turns out each one of those blades is worth in the region of £100,000.

    1. No way. They are stacked chunks of cut steel. Probably cost about 5k for each spindle, tops. If they are charging more, that’s BS.

  38. If he’s gonna fondle scrambled wet army blanket detritus to 80’s promo music, he should at least fondle wet used tampon detritus to 80’s promo music.

  39. finally a way to facilitate a sucessful breakup…..
    that’s what happened to Hoffa.

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