This machine destroys everything

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155 Responses to “This machine destroys everything”

  1. seyo says:

    FINALLY!!ELEVEN! A reliable solution for destroying limp celery! There is hope for our world after all.

  2. bsdnazz says:

    Om nom nom!

  3. Blazel says:

    I never thought I would see a man shred tampons to a cheesy 80′s soundtrack.

    Thank you Boing Boing. Thank you so much.

    • Steaming Pile says:

      If you look at the soda cans, those were circa 1985 or so. The Diet Pepsi cans are a dead giveaway.

    • jnordb says:

      The soundtrack IS awesome (I wonder if it is on itunes…) These machines are commonly used in wastewater treatment facilities to grind up sewage (and other random items that make it into the sewer system) prior to it being sent to digester tanks for bacteria to begin working its magic.

    • Anonymous says:

      I think I may have rented that movie once!

  4. dainel says:

    These marbles seems to be too smooth. They’re just rolling around on top. Here, let me push them in … oww, my finger. Somebody switch off this thing quick. My arms. My head. … crunch.

  5. lost feliz says:

    Tampons? They needed to prove it could crush tampons and Cotex?

    • Chevan says:

      I suspect they wanted to demonstrate that the machine can shred soft, pliable materials as well as hard, brittle materials.

      I could see a sufficiently soft material passing through one of these machines more intact than a hard one, by being deformed and stretched by the wheels instead of ripped apart or shredded.

      • Anonymous says:

        Actually, things like rags tend to wrap, and then the next solid through tends to enhance the chewing process. Eventually, even cloth fails to survive. I’ve seen Muffin Monsters eat rocks. The one thing I ever saw one have a real problem with was cable, like the kind that they use for guy-wires on phone poles. They do really fun things to golf balls too, they tend to take a bite and then pitch them! I didn’t watch the video, but I *did* work in a Wastepaper treatment plant.

  6. seyo says:

    ok, I must admit that seeing them run a whole chair through this thing was pretty cool.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Holy health and safety batman! Hope they had someone sitting with their finger on the off button in case someone caught a hand in that thing.

  8. Anonymous says:

    What would happen if you threw a shredding machine into the shredding machine?

  9. The Gunner says:

    .. but will it blend? That is the question.

    • Andrew S says:

      Alternatively, will it destroy a blend-tec blender? Also, will it destroy a blend-tec blender which is blending another of it, which… (et cetera)

  10. Anonymous says:

    My dad works with these bad-boys. Turns out each one of those blades is worth in the region of £100,000.

    • awjtawjt says:

      No way. They are stacked chunks of cut steel. Probably cost about 5k for each spindle, tops. If they are charging more, that’s BS.

  11. irksome says:

    I’m most impressed with its utter lack of safety features.

    “C’mon over here kids and let your Uncle Irksome show you a cool new toy.”

  12. Anonymous says:

    Why is Mario in the background…

  13. The .invalid says:

    Fuck yeah, that music was incredible!

  14. Anonymous says:

    It’s a compact version of the muffin monster from 30 Days of Night! I need one in case of vampires!

  15. Anonymous says:

    Hmm, this will help me hide the bodies

  16. Nadaclue says:

    Atlas and P-Body are not amused.

    • orn310 says:

      Ahh… Clever, very Clever and FOOLISH! No Way out.
      At my mercy and I don’t have any, you are at my nothing.
      Spinny-Blade-Wall
      Machiavellian!

  17. tylerkaraszewski says:

    So what happens if you take two of these machines and try to feed one to the other?

  18. narddogz says:

    Muffin Monster! My father worked at the Justice Center in downtown Portland where they had one of these operating. It’s supposed to grind up anything the inmates will flush down the toilets, hence the tampon / sanitary napkin demonstration.

  19. Anonymous says:

    This video could have really ended badly.

  20. Anonymous says:

    This is why we can’t have nice things.

  21. Anonymous says:

    That guy’s wife is going to be ticked off. Feminine hygiene products ain’t cheap.

  22. sla29970 says:

    It doesn’t destroy DNA. I sense several TV crime drama plots in the making.

  23. bobcrackerlacker says:

    Slaughterhouses use huge machines like these to grind up livestock, pretty disgusting.

  24. dross1260 says:

    I can see the benefits of smaller landfill/more food additive, but is it cost reductive? Please remember to recycle wood pallets at the sausage factory.

  25. Rob Gehrke says:

    Industrial version good for destroying pianos too (a welcome development) :
    SSI’s Shred of the Month :
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJzG7CSYg3U&feature=player_embedded

  26. Anonymous says:

    Health and safety-tastic. I like it when he plunges his hands into a box of shredded metal. I guess he must’ve already shredded his gloves.

    I was waiting to see him shred a board made of asbestos next…

  27. Anonymous says:

    Ohhhhhh this is a metaphor for SooooOOOOoooo many things I don’t know where to start…..:)

  28. mrjohnc says:

    That’s the machine out of 30 Days of Night (the film version) that eats that man’s hand near the end

  29. Anonymous says:

    SPINNY BLADE WALL!

    Machiavellian.

  30. Anonymous says:

    thats blanket smoke, dont breath this! lol

  31. Anonymous says:

    When the singularity happens the robots will have these as their mouths.

  32. OtiGoji says:

    Can they put Fukushima reactors #1, #2 and #3 in there?

  33. Anonymous says:

    Fargo!

  34. Anonymous says:

    Can I feed it my pain and sadness?

  35. debido666 says:

    Thought this was a Tim and Eric episode, at first.

  36. Max says:

    Or, the bigger version shredding all your old IT kit :
    http://youtu.be/j1_uvM-5xKs

  37. Anonymous says:

    Throw in a tire… betcha it comes to a halt.

  38. Jack says:

    “And thus concludes my destruction of everything my ex-wife owned or gave me. From her tampons, to her precious $%@!ing tennis balls, to the Army blanket she gave me when she kicked me out of the house, to the roll of insulation that we never used because we had to sell the house on account of the divorce.”

  39. The Hamster King says:

    What does it do to fascists?

  40. Felton / Moderator says:

    How big is the one at our secret lair going to be?

  41. betatron says:

    This thing, and its bigger siblings are truly nightmarish.

    Interestingly (or not) you can see it choke on couple things. The pink insulation and, i think, the sofa cushions.

  42. nemrel says:

    “This machine destroys everything”

    What about Cancer?

  43. EH says:

    Finally, a way to convert old water into a recyclable form!

  44. Teller says:

    I’m so glad Saddam and spawn are dead.

  45. Anonymous says:

    bobcrackerlacker:
    Slaughterhouses use huge machines like these to grind up livestock, pretty disgusting.

    That’s correct, they even grind newborn chickens!! WTF! Sick!

    http://www.meatvideo.com/

  46. Anonymous says:

    “… Don’t breathe this!”

  47. Stonewalker says:

    FUCK TAMPONS

  48. Nash Rambler says:

    *Mafia raises eyebrows in interest*

  49. valdis says:

    To be fair, the couch at 3:50 *deserved* to be shredded. It was both ugly and flimsy.

  50. sigismund says:

    EX-TER-MI-NA-TE !!! Wooohoo !!! I can’t believe I’m the first one to say it !!

  51. Brainspore says:

    This just makes me resent my consumer-grade paper shredder.

  52. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been looking for a way to destroy all my tampons. Thanks JWC Environmental!

  53. jrank says:

    What do they have against female hygiene?

  54. Anonymous says:

    Even _I_ can chew up ikea furniture. I use it as a substitute for $5/box high fiber cereal.

    Not sure about all the femhyg prods tho. Is it me, or did the presenter seem to spend just a bit more time fondling their remains than the rest of the victims.

  55. Anonymous says:

    Thank you! I have been going bonkers trying to decide what I was going to use for the mouth of the “Robot Who Will Help Me Destroy The World” I am currently developing. I was torn between rapidly chomping metal teeth or a simple flamethrower, but this is inspired. It will make post-devastation clean-up so much more efficient too.

  56. Anonymous says:

    more more more

  57. mn_camera says:

    Is it a good idea to microwave this?

  58. Anonymous says:

    but can it shred love?

  59. VICTOR JIMENEZ says:

    DIE stupid tennis balls!
    FUCK YOU wet army blanket!
    I HATE you all!

  60. mxjohnson says:

    “Blake, have you seen my tampons? Blake, honey? My tampons? What did you do with my tampons?”

  61. Skidds says:

    Why was the cut-away showing the shreaded tampons a second longer than the others?

  62. Drew from Zhrodague says:

    My god, its… beautiful!

  63. Anonymous says:

    i think one of those is on the front of mek quake…BIG JOBS!

  64. Anonymous says:

    No Chuck Norris jokes?

    c’mon guys.

  65. davecity says:

    There are more massive versions, documented in the shred of the month here: http://www.ssiworld.com/watch/

    They should totally throw some blend-tec blenders in there one month.

  66. Anonymous says:

    Thats an ‘accelerated entropy’ machine right there – awesome!

  67. Anonymous says:

    We’ve got a smaller version of this at work, the Techs use to destroy the harddrives from decomissioned computers.

    Only it broke down. The aluminium metal in the harddrives sort of got stuck on the wheels (looked like someone fed it chewing gum) and the apparatus seized up.

  68. karl_jones says:

    Feed it Steve Buscemi. You know you want to.

  69. Anonymous says:

    How about this Shredder shredding a Shredder!

    http://www.youtube.com/v/6nROrmYOJCI

  70. microcars says:

    Water goes in, water comes out. Unharmed.
    You can’t explain that.

  71. millie fink says:

    After awhile I started expecting them to throw in a kitchen sink.

  72. Lucky says:

    Yes, not sure why we needed to see the machine gobble tampons and pads. Must be some latent he-man women hater psychosis being acted upon there.

    • phisrow says:

      You can’t think of any reasons why potential customers of a shredding machine producer might be concerned about whether or not durable, but pliable and compressible, interlink fiber products that very commonly show up in consumer waste streams will be shredded successfully, rather than jamming the machine and forcing processing to stop while somebody cleans it out?

      You don’t have to look too hard for slightly covert misogyny in the media; but, until they just started amusing themselves with the sofa and things, the series of objects looked like a pretty standard lineup of “assorted things you might commonly find coming down the sewer line, with a few representatives from each category that might be of concern”…

  73. Anonymous says:

    @Anon,

    Nope those machines do a fine job with car tires too. Here are some brand new looking tires getting minced.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ1DP3ufdNA

  74. Jake0748 says:

    Hey, I’d buy one of these, just for that sound the tennis balls were making. :)

  75. candycritic says:

    I would love to see it destroy itself… now that would be cool.

  76. joeposts says:

    But what does it do to bone and flesh? I need a shredder that can handle lots and lots of bone and flesh.

  77. Anonymous says:

    Machines?! How do they work?

  78. Anonymous says:

    Denver Broncos mascot shreds Raiders’ helmets:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUoze-rGfbg

  79. awjtawjt says:

    If he’s gonna fondle scrambled wet army blanket detritus to 80′s promo music, he should at least fondle wet used tampon detritus to 80′s promo music.

  80. Razzabeth says:

    I need a miniature one of these for inside my toilet.

  81. HC66 says:

    So now I know how they get the stuffing for my incredibly cheap pillows.

  82. Anonymous says:

    OMFG! The blend-tec blender has a grandparent!!

  83. Soliloquy says:

    I want to see it eat a bowling ball.

  84. w000t says:

    Dirty Jobs had a segment cleaning up after one of these in a sewage treatment system.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZ7GihJOJ7M
    The muffin monster comes just after 2:15.

  85. KaiBeezy says:

    .
    goatbot
    .

  86. Glyph says:

    *shudders*
    I have this weird thing about destruction. Couldn’t tell you why, or really explain it, but.

    This… thing… is an abomination. AN ABOMINATION I TELL YOU.

  87. KaiBeezy says:

    .
    nightmares
    please add flesh detector
    can be done
    see http://www.sawstop.com
    or for that matter
    google touchscreen gloves
    .

  88. alllie says:

    The teeth looked thoroughly jammed after it ate certain things, like it would have to be meticulously cleaned by hand.

  89. Theo Outlandish says:

    I’d like to see it take out a blendtec blender.

  90. Anonymous says:

    Based on the title I was really hoping for a giant robot that shoots laser beams out of its eyes.

    Nevertheless, cool vid.

  91. Anonymous says:

    I used to work on a ship where we regularly had to take apart sewage grinders at 2am because a member of crew had flushed a tampon or wetwipe. they’re very difficult to shred properly, and its something you’d definitely want to include in a promotional video. mind you, i’d also include safety features in a promotional video… get your hand in that, and it wouldn’t even slow down as it pulled your whole arm in.

  92. Anonymous says:

    Hence the reason we have OSHA.

  93. Anonymous says:

    I do have to wonder at all the feminine product munching….

    • Gulliver says:

      @ Anon #94

      I do have to wonder at all the feminine product munching

      You didn’t read the comments above yours, did you?

  94. Fef says:

    Has George Lucas seen this?
    Prepare to see a planet sized mock-up.

  95. Anonymous says:

    Memo to machine feeder guy: if you ever wear a tie to work, make it a clipon.

  96. bcsizemo says:

    I know this is kind of old tech, but wouldn’t one of these upstream of one of those vacuum/tornado pulverizers make the perfect solid waste disposal setup?

  97. Anonymous says:

    I’ve seen ranchers use these machines on dead cattle and horses. Quite a sight.

  98. Anonymous says:

    Looking at the company its designed for sanitation systems so feminine products are relevant. Really cool, would be excellent for data destruction.

  99. kennapea says:

    it’s the perfect gift for that person on everyone’s list who has everything and FUCKING HATES IT ALL!

  100. Neon Tooth says:

    Was really expecting the belts to be tangled on his arm…

  101. KBert says:

    Dodge Daytona – watch it choke; and swallow!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQs5hchKCAM&feature=relmfu

  102. Anonymous says:

    Where’s the bowling ball?

  103. morat says:

    Feed me, Seymour. Feeeeed me.

  104. Anonymous says:

    Someone needs to dub this video to make the machine go OM NOM NOM NOM! CHAIR! OM NOM NOM! SHOE! MY FAVOURIT! NOM NOM! MORE SHOE! NOM NOM!

  105. Anonymous says:

    2005 called:

    http://www.boingboing.net/2005/03/04/industrial-shredder-.html

    Here is a full link to the shred of the month archive:

    http://www.ssiworld.com/watch/

  106. PimpleAbortion says:

    Fuck the Home Shopping Network. THIS is what I want to pass out to at 3 in the morning.

  107. Antinous / Moderator says:

    If only there had been one of these at Rivendell…

    • Vnend says:

      >If only there had been one of these at Rivendell…

      “Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve produced…”

  108. swishercutter says:

    It’s like I have always said…You have to know someone to get all the good jobs. Why can’t I get paid to break stuff…I am really good at it, I will even collect and organize any data you want. Oh…you want to know if we can shred a car to make it fit in a trash can? No problem sir. On my way now.

    I would probably show up early to that job and whistle like the 7 dwarfs on my way.

  109. Anonymous says:

    If it can destroy a diamond then I would believe it can destroy everything.

  110. JM says:

    Somehow, I think you don’t fully understand the power of this machine until you’ve seen it shred live pigs. It’s out there.

  111. Erik_1 says:

    If it can destroy a diamond, then I believe it can destroy everything.

  112. Anonymous says:

    This is when Boing Boing is most awesome!

  113. Anonymous says:

    I’ve worked quite a bit with the JWC “muffin monster”. They are expensive, very high maintenance piles of junk.

  114. Alan says:

    I got to admit, I was disappointed they didn’t throw in that forklift they had in the background at the end.

  115. Anonymous says:

    finally a way to facilitate a sucessful breakup…..
    or,
    that’s what happened to Hoffa.

  116. Anonymous says:

    Oh Mythbusters, your explosions were my first love, but I have a new love now….

  117. Anonymous says:

    How can they claim it destroys EVERYTHING? They didn’t even try a Guinea Pig with an Adamantium skeleton.

  118. Anonymous says:

    I want to see it break up old solid (Claughton brickworks) red house bricks & paving flags.

  119. Ruadhan says:

    I nominate Jonathan Coulton’s “I Crush Everything” as an alternative soundtrack.

  120. Anonymous says:

    It’s The Mangler from Stephen King’s The Night Shift!

  121. Anonymous says:

    best 5 minutes of my life.

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