Bin Laden wanted a marketing makeover for al Qaeda, documents show


28 Responses to “Bin Laden wanted a marketing makeover for al Qaeda, documents show”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I thought I was reading ‘The Onion’ just then…

  2. Anonymous says:

    ‘Christ, What an Asshole’

  3. Jake0748 says:

    …and Tumblr.

    Hmm… L-Qd might work.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Strange how he obviously spent a lot of time planning the attack, but totally missed out on one major detail — killing a bunch of random people isn’t a very effective way to make it “holy.”

  5. Anonarchist says:

    I here there were plans for a cartoon mascot, too.

  6. Anonymous says:

    How about Ikea-da?

    LQD is good because it translates to “liquid”, as in “sneaks into places” not “peed in my pants”.

  7. ATL says:

    While taking out vowels makes sense in English, not so in Arabic, which is consonant only.

    • cratermoon says:

      Good point about the consonants.

      My suggestion: Magic School Bus Bombrs (missing the final vowel on purpose in English only, for that web 2.0-y goodness)

  8. Anonymous says:

    Try it the ALJAZEERA way, all caps, and skip the confusing dash or space after the “al” and go with ALQAEDA. Damn, so sexy, even in type, it just smells like a 6-star luxury caliphate hotel full of virgins.

    Maybe try going 1337 and use randomly capitalized letters combined with numers. 4l_Q43d4. Maybe they might get some support from LulzSec for it.

    Or perhaps even just adding some mascotte/spokesperson cartoon like the major animation studios used to have Mickey and Bugs. Jalil Jihad, your friendly neighbourhood suicide bomber.

    Or maybe realise when your military and spiritual leader is more occupied with branding and marketing than fighting the holy war, maybe you’re just working for the wrong people. XD

  9. Brainspore says:

    We already knew he was trying to appeal to the hip young radical Islamist demographic by dying his beard. I’m surprised he didn’t try to get a sponsorship deal with Mountain Dew.

  10. fergus1948 says:

    Hmm… L-Qd or LQD or anything like that might be a little too close to Likud if you verbalised it.

    And I’m guessing that there are two organisations with very little in common other than their extreme enmity.

  11. mn_camera says:

    None of those. It’s obvious, really.

    If you want uptake, only this will do: iQuaida

  12. Anonymous says:

    “Go Silicon Valley?” No, way – go Pharma. Something along the lines of “Islamamine” or “Jihadsterone” or “ViQueda.”

  13. Jack says:

    How about “new-Qaeda”?

  14. Anonymous says:

    “Can we get the martyrs’ exploding vests in cornflower blue?”

  15. PFlint says:

    “iSlam”? Then you say ridiculous things like, “If you don’t have Al Qaeda, then you don’t have Al Qaeda.”

  16. Vanwall says:


  17. Anonymous says:

    Isn’t Arabic written without vowels anyway? Like just omit the diacritics, and boom, you’re there?

  18. EricT says:

    I bet the FDA would approve the merger, just as a reflex.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Many TV networks were vying to create a Reality Show with bin Laden and were still negotiating and creatively thinking of what the title of the show would be.

  20. holtt says:


  21. Swarez says:

    I’m not sure I buy this since Al Qaeda is a name that came from the CIA. Similar to how they use “Mafia” for organizes crime.

  22. chgoliz says:


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