Enterprise Rent-A-Car: Would you be okay hearing "no" from seven out of 10 customers?Define the Ratio of People to Cake (via Kottke)
HA HA HA HA HA! I wish it was only seven out of 10! HA HA HA HA HA. No thanks, I have a handkerchief right here. Seven out of 10. You're killing me.
Lubin Lawrence: If you could describe Hershey, Godiva, and Dove chocolate as people, how would you describe them?
I went to school with Hershey. He thought he was so special, and people were all like "Ooooh Hershey," but then I went to college and forgot all about him. Last I heard, he was cleaning windows for a living. Godiva inherited the house after her aunt died, and tried making a career as an artist. No-one liked her work--too much violence, not enough humanity. We're still in touch, but our Facebook conversations are about trivia and crap on TV. I don't think I have much to say to her anymore. Dove does telephone sales calls. I think she got married to some guy from Denver. They don't have kids.
Pottery Barn: If I was a genie and could give you your dream job, what and where would it be?
Shit, anything? Oh man. Well, I'd get out of Pottery Barn faster than you could say "Breakages must be paid for," and I'd become an executive in the music industry. No wait, it gets better: I'd be a music executive who also understands the internet. I'd be like, Hey, you, release your album as DRM-free MP3s from some random blog, but keep your band name secret, and we'll rely on word-of-mouth, it'll be huge. And there'd be drugs and free music everywhere and pornography and shit. And yellow stretch limos, the ones with drinks cabinets and tables in them. And swimming pools, and free phones, and trips around the world, and it would all be mine, every last lazy minute of it. Either that, or I'd like to be a chocolate taster.
I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.