By Xeni Jardin at 9:06 am Tue, Jun 28, 2011
[Video Link, follow Peter Serafinowicz on Twitter here.]
Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria.
Then turn, place on plate.
Right on! I know what I’m having for lunch today… a nice green salad.
Head On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head On! Apply directly to the forehead! (ad infinitum)
I don’t know what happened to the other 10, but there was definitely one herb or spice used heavily during this production…
I wanna know how they got a recording of my inner monologue. All day long it’s “Cut using downward motion of knife. Cut cleanly with knife. Cut with a sharp motion. Sever from main body using tongs and knife.”
Yep, that’s pretty much it.
Because you never “wipe knife clean” in your inner monologue. You’re too easy to spot, with your bloody knife and all.
Place on plate.
Well now you’re just being disgusting. First it goes in the pot, THEN the plate or bowl as you prefer.
Yeah I got that too! Sometimes my inner dialog is more like ‘Fire. Set them on fire. Flamethrower. Burn Bright Flame. Kerosene. Gas. Gasoline.’
Or just the sound of a gas fueled explosion in slow motion.
This is not a “New KFC TV ad”
Yeaaaaaaa! for driving traffic through to that YouTube account under false pretenses.
Not even funny
Tho… Peters Head lice video was a riot.
ex buhn dr hjn buhy frxeze
Play back, replacing audio with The xx – Islands
oh, o THIS is how people used to eat chicken !!!! :D
Add a loop or two and you’ve got a nice old-school industrial music video.
When is the “Place on Plate” techno remix coming out?
What is this I don’t even
Wait… You’re supposed to Cut the Chicken and Serve it to the Humans?
What in the HELL?!
I know I’m supposed to be repulsed by the flesh-cutting and the bone-separating and all that, and driven to veganism and whatnot, but this just makes me want more of the yummy roast chicken I had for lunch. I carved the s*&t out of that m#&*^@plucker.
I liked the creepy soundtrack.
A chilling but powerful look at the consumerism that drives our society. Four and a half stars out of five.
Well, there’s 2:03 of my life I’ll never get back – 10 seconds wasted smacking myself for watching the entire unfunny, unwonderful, uncompelling exercise.
No, wait – 2:33.
30 seconds typing this.
Very Donald Pleasance sound to the narration.
Damn, watching that made me feel hungry.
Addendum: lol @ captcha: “sidedish people”
This is what they show to psychopaths after giving them experimental drugs.
Shouldn’t he be cutting up a groundhog?
Oh, that’s just nice. Funny funny Peter.
I have a serious man-crush on Peter. I think he’s utterly hilarious. My office-mates had no idea why I thought that video was so funny. Genius, I say, genius!
WTF was that???
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