Review: Energizer Flickering LED Candle Lights

These actually produce no illumination at all; they are a fraction of the brightness of a single period on the colon in a vintage digital alarm clock. Nor are they "romantic." Words alone cannot express how useless they are; somber music is required. Audio Link: Energizer LED Candle Review Energizer Flickering Led Candle Lights [Amazon]

• [g0d5m15t4k3]

  good to know. we use these a lot in in-house lanterns. we have a bad habit of not blowing out candles.

• [propboy]

  Handy as hell for use as stage props when you need a candle but a fire marshal won’t let you use live flame. In theater we’ve been making LED flicker candles for years at great expense, the influx of cheap ones on the market is a godsend.

• [Anonymous]

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  • [Rob Beschizza]

    It may amuse you to know that I tried to add a negative review at Amazon

• [Gawain Lavers]

  The one thing I particularly hate about these are that they can’t light your menu on fire.

• [Anonymous]

  You see these on restaurant tables in communities that ban candle flames at the table, Cambridge, Mass being one such place. (Go Somerville.)

• [purple-stater]

  My wife has several and finds them suitably romantic with no worries about them getting knocked off the headboard. The illumination is slight, similar to a tealight candle but with no fire hazard.

• [Anonymous]

  I bought something like this, and I agree. You’d think they’d be awesome.

• [Anonymous]

  I’m looking at you, Absinthe on Hayes St.

• [Anonymous]

  All about flicker very cool LEDs:

  http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/flicker

• [Anonymous]

  Designer-made, romantic & vintage LED Candelabra is here (on Amazon), with exposed circuit board and all: Flickering Candelabra
  and here:
  From Designer’s Website

  Uhm. Disclosure, I’m the designer ; ) . But it’s on topic, and maybe you all will like the Candelabra as much as I do.

• [Anonymous]

  WANT!

• [i_prefer_yeti]

  UnCool Tools

• [trondmm]

  My mother had several “candles” like this, and she thought they were brilliant. She was using an oxygen concentrator at the time, and the doctor strongly encouraged her to stay away from any open flames, including lit candles.

• [felsby]

  plus, they can be safely used in a recovery room (like where I work) with patients receiving supplemental oxygen!

• [Carmello]

  Clearly the best review ever!!!

  • [Anonymous]

    Nothing says “tacky” about a restaurant quite so much as a battery powered candle. I hate those things.

• [Kosmoid]

  Breathe deep the gathering gloom…

• [bcsizemo]

  I bet Cool Tools loves them….

• [V’s Herbie]

  You sir, are the winner of the internet for today!

• [Tom Fury]

  Yes, but are they any good? I couldn’t tell from the review …

  • [Anonymous]

    > Yes, but are they any good? I couldn’t tell from the review …

    Exactly! Some sort of numeric rating would have been helpful..

• [Anonymous]

  They are for atmosphere, not illumination. They flicker nicely and are much safer than an open candle would be. Seem to have a long battery life as well, we’ve had our 4 for a couple years.

• [CANTFIGHTTHEDITE]

  The one thing I do like about these are that they can’t light your menu on fire.

• [Anonymous]

  Bet the battery lasts forever though…

• [straponego]

  A light so dim it reveals only itself. A plastic koan.

  Not worthless– they elicited Rob’s wonderful review. And not without purpose; waste is the end achieved.

• [nixiebunny]

  I’m familiar with the generic dollar store version of this – it’s a staple of the Halloween events that I attend.

  Why Energizer would try to compete with the dollar stores, now that’s the question.

  • [phisrow]

    I can only assume that energizer has exactly the same OEM sources(and thus as good or better prices) as the dollar stores; but presumes that they might also have a brand people will needlessly pay a premium for, resulting in profit to them.

    • [penguinchris]

      Energizer is one of those big-name American brands that might have been trusted at one point, and created quality products, but now just slaps their logo on whatever they think they can sell. Why does anyone trust brands like this anymore?

      Foreign companies have purchased the rights to many American brand names… do people really fall for this? Not saying that’s the case for Energizer, but their products are just as bad and overpriced.

      I purposefully avoid brands like this. I don’t even care if their batteries are any good (for rechargables I’ll take Sanyo Eneloops, and for alkalines I get them from Ikea). The brand just leaves a bad taste in my mouth (kind of like a 9-volt battery).

• [Joergen Geerds]

  I would have loved a more cheerful rendering, putting more cynicism into the reading, like Peter Jones on the Hitchhiker’s Guide BBC series.

  • [Gutierrez]

    Energizer, one of the many marketing arms of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, has produced the new happy shape illuminator. Imbued with the technology of all the universe, this device has been produced to understand the technology level of the current civilization in which it is used and react accordingly. And while the ape-descendants of the little blue green planet Energizer exists upon are so primitive they still consider portable touch screen devices a rather neat idea, they do have electric illumination. Therefore, the happy shape illuminator understands it has no need to provide enough light as to be useful for purposes such as reading. It only need provide enough illumination that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike candlelight to light itself.

    • [Joergen Geerds]

      Thank you, you made a wonderful point.

• [futnuh]

  Can I optionally plug them in with a chunky DC power pack just big enough to block the second outlet? All that’s missing from that photo is a wire snaking across the table top …

• [Mope]

  clap…….clap…….clap…….clap…….clap…….clap….clap….clap….clap….clap…clap…clap…clap…clap..clap..clap..clap..clap.clap.clap.clap.clap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • [Mope]

    clap..clap..clap..clap..clap.clap.clap.clap.clap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• [Cool Tools]

  @bcsizemo Text book Cool Tools material.

• [Anonymous]

  Geez. Obviously Rob Beschizza is a paid by Energizer, and this is a bought and paid for review.

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    Geez. Obviously Rob Beschizza is a paid by Energizer, and this is a bought and paid for review.

    If Rob’s a shill for Big Battery, he’s the worst shill ever.