Boring Magazine design contest winner!

We asked you to design the cover to a supremely boring periodical. The response was overwhelming, with more than 100 thoroughly mind-numbing entries resting on the magazine rack in Hell. Pictured here is winner Tired Magazine, a mirror-world version of Wired where hold music, baby photos and warm salads dominate the headlines. Designer Jack Daniel gets a heavy-duty $350 messenger bag from Saddleback Leather. Three more of the best are after the jump. Highway40's Notational Review applies a minimalist perspective on the reader's level of interest. Absenthero's Magazine Aficionado's recursive irony breaths new life into the verb "interminable." Zigzagatha's Fiber Quarterly will keep you regular--and regularly bored.

• [firstbakingbook]

  “Quilts”? Do you have any idea how dangerous is the beast you are prodding? If quiltart comes across this, you might well need to relocate to another country, under an assumed name.

  • [Anonymous]

    LOL, as a quilter yes, I felt a twinge of offense. But overall the magazines are funny. Magazine Aficionado is my favorite though!

• [nixiebunny]

  Logic circuit designers have several more versions of not p:

  /p, p#, p-, p\, pn

  for starters.

  We’ll have to start our own boring magazine to compete with Notational Review. We can call it Notation Week.

• [farcedude]

  The first one reminded me of one time I called Newegg (I screwed up the delivery address, and was calling to fix). They put me on hold, and I was delightfully surprised to be listening to music from the Lord of the Rings.

• [smammy]

  I sent some of the submissions to my dad, who gets a lot of niche magazines. His reply: Boing-Boing gets to ridicule “special” areas of interest? I don’t think so! Without these essential publications, we might be completely unaware of fascinating cultural events like CFC change-over and quantum tunneling memory chips.

• [Jack Daniel]

  Wow! This is awesome news. Thank you very very much. I’ve wanted one of these bags since they first showed up on Boingboing! :)

• [chgoliz]

  Well earned, Jack Daniel!

• [Anonymous]

  Is it weird that that FQ magazine cover is my new desktop?

• [facetedjewel]

  No weirder than my desire to subscribe. God, I love a good poop story.

• [princessalex]

  That winner was superb! I bow before Mr. Daniel!

• [jeligula]

  Why is the UPC the same on Notational Review as it is on Magazine Afficionado? One would think that two different designers would not pick the same numbers, much less the same UPC symbol. I looked it up and was hoping for something truly boring, but it came up with nothing, sadly.

  • [donniebnyc]

    Don’t fall for facile “first search result” bullshit explanations. Screw Occam and his razor!

    You need to start a full scale investigation of this. It reeks, reeks I say, of the Tri-Lateral Commission, the Illuminati, the Koch brothers, the liberal lamestream media, Skull and Bones, Area 51; the list of possibilities is endless.

    We need someone with your discerning eye and laser focused mind to do the digging until every aspect of this evil conspiracy is brought into the soul cleansing light of day.

    Be proactive man!

• [CountZero]

  Jack, your ‘TIRED’ magazine cover is a work of sublime genius. I read WIRED every month, and love the mag, but I’m not going to be able to even look at a cover in future without flashing on yours and sniggering, probably in public. Congratulations, and I’m well jealous of the bag, too. The others are all superb as well, the FQ ‘Kraken’ line has now taken root in my mind, and won’t let go, either.
  Interesting, the ‘Mirror World’ reference; Case Pollard, perchance?

• [Anonymous]

  Fuck, I lol’d.
  “Releasing the Kraken upon the Porcelain Sea” is now my favorite vulgar euphemism.

  Also, A $350 SADDLEBACK BAG?! ARRRGH! THE ENVY, IT BURNS! Congratulations, Jack. Take care of that sweet Saddleback bag.

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  Moderator note: If you click on Jack Daniel’s name, you might also note that he’s BB commenter #17. To put it in perspective, as of this moment, we’re at 175,927 registered users.

• [Anonymous]

  My congrats to Jack Daniel and the other participants. I had fun with this one!

  -absenthero

• [highway40]

  Wow! It’s an honor to be mentioned. I agree, the winning mag is excellent.

  @jeligula If you google “barcode” it’s the first one that comes up that has enough pixels to scale well without looking bad. It was kind of an afterthought on mine. I like how Absenthero dressed it up with the date and prices.

• [gpeare]

  How could Zigzagatha have passed on Fiber *Digest*… Kudos to all.

• [chris23]

  Heh FQ reminds me of the scene in The Simpsons Movie when Homer rips the roof off the upstairs bathroom revealing Grandpa on the toilet reading the latest copy of Oatmeal Enthusiast.

• [Anonymous]

  I would actually read the winning submission.
  God, I’m such a bore!

• [Anonymous]

  it’s p with an overbar, you heathens!!

• [Anonymous]

  in before “barcodes monthly” (not sold in stores for fear it would confuse cashiers).

• [Deidzoeb]

  Magazine Aficionado is truther than strange. The real world version (or the most similar tagline at least) is “Folio: The Magazine of Magazine Management”.
  http://www.foliomag.com/magazines

  • [wrecked_em]

    Great, now we need to start printing Magazine Aficionado Aficionado.

    Or maybe just Meta-Magazine Monthly.

    As a web site.

• [Rob Beschizza]

  Jack, email me at beschizza at gmail!

  • [Jack Daniel]

    Okay, done.

• [Rob Beschizza]

  That barcode is the first decent one that shows up in Google Images.

• [ZigZagatha]

  well played Jack! Very jealous. Glad the kraken got some props. should have photoshoped that pic. (>..<)

• [Anonymous]

  You know, at work we subscribe to both “The journal of Vacuum Science A” and “The Journal of Vacuum Science B.” That’s a whole lotta journal about Nothin’.

• [Jack Daniel]

  Thanks for the kind words everybody!