My Drunk Kitchen

[Video Link] via Sean Bonner. Contains swearing and alcohol, may not be work or child-safe.

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.

MORE: Funny

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Jesse M.

The boys at Epic Meal Time also enjoy mixing drunkenness with cooking (along with an epic commitment to meat and calories), see for example Breakfast of Booze, Slaughterhouse Christmas Special, Masta Pasta, and It’s a Drunken Mess
Gemma

“Okay so I don’t have a cookie pan, but I have this… this kind of pegboard.” Ha.
Mike Estee

“The cheese is trapped!”

harto is awesome.

(also, wtf is up with all the concern trolls in here?)
vytautasmalesh

I’m so glad that people managed to shoehorn their own personal bullshit into a funny and fun post – you make Boingboing a better place by reminding us that you are a recovering alcoholic and that daddy touched your no-no place or whatever the fuck your boring insignificant problem is!

All I want to do now is drink coffee and listen to that “Not a Habit” song, you know the one – the one all the self-pitying ex-druggy alcoholics sing…

“Breaaathe it in and breeeeathe it out…”

PARTY!

(sorry for any double-posting: totally forgot to sign in because i am shitfaced)
dculberson

I have video of me driving over 100mph around turns on a race track. If I upload it, would you all talk about how horrible speeding is on public streets? Her being (likely fake) drunk for a video is not the same as someone driving drunk into oncoming traffic. She’s making a show, it’s entertainment. Comparing it to Amos & Andy is the TV equivalent of a Godwinning.

If you watch Pulp Fiction, do you go on about how horrible gun deaths are? Do you complain about anal rape? Or do you laugh at the funny banter and enjoy the movie? People are so weird sometimes.
Anonymous

Well, I think she’s hilarious. I can see how having a rough upbringing or a nasty history with your addictions can give you a different filter, but then what did you expect when you saw the title ‘Drunk Kitchen’? Best to avoid things you know will be a trigger for your issues.
Anonymous

I’m in love!
Anonymous

Frederick! Parkour to you!
skeptacally

lots of indignation floating around here.

i just see this as a person playing a comedic role. my gut tells me that she probably isn’t as drunk as she portrays. what i do suspect is that she is a woman who has some good comic chops, great editing skills, and a desire to make us laugh at her portrayed expense. hardly a spiraling drunk.

i thought it was cute and well crafted.

i’m watching the other episodes now. good stuff.

and if i’m wrong, well… so be it.

we’re not paid to come to this blog. if we think something is not going to be to our tastes, we can skip on by.
Ipo

Of course it’s funny!

It’s just like laughing at handicapped people.
- yosemite
  
  Indeed! But, crucially: self-handicapping people! And “handicaps” that have a 20 minute-2 hour duration. The indignity!
  
  For shame, those sad billions who have chosen to destroy themselves through mild inebriation, perhaps as often as thrice bi-monthly. And don’t even get me started on the evils of sugar consumption. Why, I’m considering protesting outside of birthday parties for children, what with the foolish and pathetic cackles of the sugar-drunk, stumbling and bumbling along the road to perdition.
  
  Cruel, cruel humanity.
Kosmoid

Sorry for being perceived as a downer. Didn’t mean it. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where the SO thought that they were “more entertaining” or were a better person when they were pickled, your first reaction to something like this is to cringe.

Your friends look at you with pity. Don’t mind me.
bcsizemo

Notice that:

item 2 and item 6 are both eggs…

Item 6 is just fracking mother fracking better I guess.

-Until smooth ?! I don’t have that kind of time!

Back left of the kitchen – a MF Kitchen Aid mixer..
RebNachum

Interesting dynamic between those who have good reason to dislike drunkenness and those who think they should get over it. Listening is hard work — it’s even harder when we put words in each others’ mouths.
- fraac
  
  No one is saying to get over it. But why whine about it to strangers on the internet having fun?
  - RebNachum
    
    Good point. But for that matter, why express any opinion at all?
Muser

I liked it. It made me laugh.

-E. Hemingway
brerrabbit23

OBAMA!!! (roflcopters)
dculberson

Yes!! Hannah is awesome awesome. My favorite thing since Drunk History.
- efergus3
  
  She’s probably not drunk. Remember Foster Brooks? He made a career out of being a fake drunk.
razen cain

The editor deserves a fucking, mother fucking oscar.
- Anonymous
  
  You are not lying. I haven’t been this aware of how editing can affect the outcome of a video in a long time. And the fact that it not only saved what would probably be annoying to actually hilarious is even more amazing.
- Anonymous
  
  She edits all her own videos! That’s my favorite part.
Anonymous

So is there anything drinking doesn’t make better? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7BzMZYXB8M
JhmL

This is how all cooking shows should be made. All of them.
laughingbird

Thanks for this Xeni. May all your cookies turn out as biscuits.
Kosmoid

maybe i’m old school, but it’s unladylike for a woman to appear drunk in public. Just sayin.’
- razen cain
  
  That’s no lady, that’s a drunk cook.
- Teller
  
  TECHNICALLY, she’s not in public. But champagne, oy.
- Anonymous
  
  Yup, you’re old fashioned
bcsizemo

OMG I’m dying over here.

“We’re gonna get baked.”
-
“Thanks”

I do agree with that layman idea of baking terms. Like creaming or when people talk about sugar states like string/soft ball/hard ball/cracked. (I bake/cook so I’m familiar with these ideas, but I find a lot of recipes just say combine when it really really should be cream.)

Cream > Mix > Cram
irksome

Once one has been off heroin and booze for 12 years, people become unfunny, unattractive, unentertaining and pitiful when drunk. Curious, innit?

Alcohol is such a low drug.
- blueelm
  
  A similar thing can happen when you were raised in a family with abusive drunks or live with one for long enough.
  
  I know, I know, I’m the one with the problem here but I just find myself thinking “go the fuck away” and not much else.
  - Anonymous
    
    If you are disturbed viewing drunks, why did you click through? You have a choice in this case, so don’t watch and your problem is solved.
    - blueelm
      
      I didn’t, actually. You see she’s been around for a while and was getting posted all over my FB for some time. I’m the sort of person that will watch something a friend asks me to even if I don’t really want to for the first couple times.
      
      So, when I saw it here I already had an opinion.
- Anonymous
  
  Once one has been off judging others for their behaviour for 12 years, people become unfunny, unattractive, unentertaining and pitiful when being morally superior.
  
  Moral superiority is such a sad state.
- razen cain
  
  Maybe your posts would be more funny if you were drunk.
- Counterglow
  
  Yeah, it’s kind of funny how people who can’t deal with stuff envy people who can. Not everybody who has been overserved once or twice in their lives turns into some kind of slobbering, drug-crazed monster who sells off their kids toys for another drink/fix. Sadly, you appear to fall into that latter category, and deserve the pity of your betters.
That Evening Sun

At :22, a wild hipster appears.
Jack

First, the video is indeed funny! But I was really off-put by the blurry/jelly-like webcam aesthetic. Everything else was great!

But as far as people criticizing drinking goes, you know here in the U.S. we have an interesting problem. There really is no way to rationally tell anyone â€œLook, you drank too muchâ€¦â€ or even â€œYou know what, I had enough.â€ Ditto with pot. And you know what, pot and alcohol use isnâ€™t always cool. Just I wish there was some way to rationally say that without instantly being considered a â€œnarcâ€ or a â€œlame-oâ€ when there is a valid reason. Because I think these random â€œdrinking is badâ€ stuff comes from folks who really feel no safe place to say how they feel without being maligned.
sten

There is nothing attractive about a drunk woman… well, except for the increased willingness to get busy.

On another note, how about an episode of “My Salvia Kitchen”?
- blueelm
  
  There’s nothing attractive about a drunk man either, except the… oh wait… yeah nothing.
- GrrrlRomeo
  
  The drunk woman is a lesbian, so she probably doesn’t care if you don’t find her attractive.
- DoctressJulia
  
  You sound like a total slimeball.
GuyNoir

I saw this at work without sound and then at home with sound. I have to say, it’s much funnier without sound. I love her gesticulations.
GuyNoir

On a somewhat related note:

http://www.derailingfordummies.com/
Kosmoid

Just to be clear, I know women and men who can drink but know their limit, and act acceptably in public.

And, the old adage that a sharp knife is safer than a dull one, no longer applies.

This guy Bourdain makes it clear that he’s high most of the time on his show, but then again he rarely cooks.
Aloisius

This my friends is what happens when San Franciscans move to Brooklyn.

They stop being able to hold their liquor well enough to look up ‘cream’ on the internet.
- Kosmoid
  
  Ha-ha. And I thought californication only applied to Oregon.
- piminnowcheez
  
  This my friends is what happens when San Franciscans move to Brooklyn.
  
  I can’t explain why this strikes me as so funny, but having lived both places, I can say there’s definitely some truth there. In San Francisco, being able to get your dinner party done while inebriated is just another part of keeping your shit handled.
  
  For the scolds, please recall that tragedy and comedy often share a bed. There’s no reason one or the other has to steal all the covers.
  
  Also, drunk kitchen lady is mighty cute.
  - Aloisius
    
    I can’t explain why this strikes me as so funny, but having lived both places, I can say there’s definitely some truth there. In San Francisco, being able to get your dinner party done while inebriated is just another part of keeping your shit handled.
    
    San Francisco has been a serious drinking town since the Gold Rush.
    
    Events created in SF like Santarchy, the Urban Iditarod and Brides of March would make no sense without copious amounts of public drunkenness. I’m convinced that Critical Mass was thought up while drunk and the only reason it isn’t carried out drunk is because of the threat of a DUI. :)
sfnate

For hipsters of a certain age, this is like a trip down memory lane, to a simpler time when our housewife mothers (“old broads” in the jargon of the day) would perform this routine nightly to a horrified audience of children already in a semi-tranced state of mind after watching 3 or 4 hours of afternoon cartoons (“daycare” is the modern equivalent, I think).

I didn’t think it was funny at the time. Now, I grin, but it’s a sad kind of embarrassed grin, like you get when you remember something stupid you did in front of a large group of people.

I suspect Hannah might feel the same way in, oh, 20 years or so. If she hasn’t become a raging alcoholic by then.

But I’m smiling, because it’s complicated, I get that.
- fraac
  
  Young people should know enough to be bitter and joyless.
  - sfnate
    
    Bitter joylessness gets better with age. Like a fine wine.
    
    Cheers!
    - Ugly Canuck
      
      Careful about that…some wines age badly, and yet others are best fresh.
      
      Just so, some tastes and habits are perhaps best left behind as one ages, and drinking to excess too excessively imho is one such.
      
      In general, though, I had thought that entrusting the lady of the house with the key to the booze closet or box was the “key” to keeping things within proper limits – perhaps I should think again!
mack

Having seen my best friend die in the bottle (he committed suicide by head-on collision, crippling the other driver for life) I just can’t get a humor boner up for this.
- http://www.xeni.net Xeni Jardin
  
  I am sorry for your loss.
  
  Some people are able to enjoy alcohol as a fun thing, and for others, it is a disease. I am a longtime friend of Bill, myself. I have also lost friends, and sometimes you just can’t laugh. But for others, this will be something fun. Life is complicated.
jjsaul

I’m just disgusted and disappointed that Boing Boing wastes my internet and encourages that poor victim, who clearly was beaten and abused into domestic slavery by that rage-freak volcanic murderer man! Her suicidal alcoholism is may be a joke to you terrible people, but it’s like a window on all the ills of America to us righteous! This fallen world is nothing but doom, death, poison, rape, murder, cannibalism, tax fraud, and bad grammar, and you have no right to turn your attention to anything else, EVER!

Soylent Green is Unicorns!

Just kidding. I think it’s hilarious, she’s adorable, and I bet even the biscuit-cookies were worth a try.

The only serious criticism I would make is her choice of alcohol. Two bottles of champagne? If it wasn’t scripted and well-acted, as it clearly is, the poor girl had a hell of a morning after.

The hardest thing about the internet is resisting the urge to click on the links that will piss us off and reinforce our bitterness and despair. Hell, I read through hundreds of comments on Fark and Reddit every day, just to find those that will nourish the hatred eating at my heart. It’s a sad addiction.

And yes, I loathe self-destructive drunkenness as much as anyone. I suppose my alcoholic father’s suicide ending a sorrowful lifetime trajectory of misery and deceit didn’t leave me with many illusions in that area.

I still can accept that for most people an occasional buzz is a welcome relief from the hardship of producing our seemingly mandatory daily quota of sphincter-diamonds of judgment and contempt.
sten

Is it cinnamon? No, no, nooo, no.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNrbOkvOErk
Thorzdad

Hilarious!
Also…A $250 stand mixer in the background and she doesn’t know wtf “cream” means. Classic!
Antinous / Moderator

We should make alcohol illegal. That would fix things.
- Ipo
  
  Yeah, that’ll fix everything right up.
  
  We could still huff metallic spray paint, right?
- Kosmoid
  
  No, gov’t should tax alcohol, cigarettes and eventually pot; making revenue on a what might be an addiction is a sure shot. Native American get a break on this; it’s the least we could do.
  - Ugly Canuck
    
    If the pot be medicinal and prescribed, we should not tax it; but if the pot is being sold without prescription, tax it.
- IronEdithKidd
  
  Because it worked so wondrously the last time we tried it?
  - EvilCatBucky
    
    THATS-A THE JOKE!
joedelta

Those amused may be even more so by its predecessor, Pandora’s Kitchen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCKa2zjASIg

Also, there’s real cooking.
gothicgeek

Funny but not as funny as this :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab9ew4G5UXU&NR=1

Fast Show ” I’m not pissed ” sketch …..
facetedjewel

Nope, not my idea of funny. At my age I’ve heard way too many ‘guess-what-I-did-while-I-was-drunk!’ stories and I’ve watched too many loved ones slip away over the years, one drink following another until some major organ failed them.

Confession: Although I heard a few stories in my youth so funny I fell off a chair and spilled my beer. I ain’t no saint.
Bender

Funny? Yes. Cute? Yes.

Some people just can’ts wait to get righteous and/or serious about what many others think is funny! They like to tell us what we should think is funny like the far right likes to tell us what is moral. I tend to tell both groups to screw themselves and then I laugh at them.
Flying_Monkey

As Xeni already said, what’s funny is pretty personal, but for me, this ranks up there with The Least Funny Things Ever on the Internet.
Anonymous

it sure is concern troll-y in here
gwailo_joe

Yay buzzed biscuit making young lady! Nice act.

If you don’t like drinking, why watch a post about it?

Also: Champagne=High Class
- sfnate
  
  @ gwailo_joe
  
  If you don’t like drinking, why watch a post about it?
  
  These things exert a powerful gravitational pull of their own: like some kind of tractor beam, they capture our attention and drag us over our own objections into a place where our conscience is utterly powerless to stop our morbid fascination with risky behavior.
  
  It’s human nature to slow down and make a careful study of car wrecks and other catastrophic failures. Whether you enjoy the grisly aftermath is almost irrelevant to the fact that you gain vicarious instruction from the results.
  
  My Drunk Kitchen is really a cautionary tale documenting what will doubtless become, over time, a gradual erosion of human dignity into a animal depravity. As we collectively press the brake pedal in order to decelerate and observe the mayhem, some of us will dial 911; others will laugh and shout “Miller Time!” This has always been the case, that two separate and contradictory human impulses are revealed at times like these. If your knuckles are white and your jaw is clenched, you probably have some issues with drinking, unlike the other spectators, who will use the collision of cooking and booze to concoct a perverse cocktail of tragedy and humor. Which is very intoxicating. That’s the complicated irony of all this–but if you’re over 21, a perfectly legal predicament.
yosemite

Ever since X died while in/doing/subject to/involved with Y, I can no longer enjoy Y, or witness others enjoying Y without letting them know that their enjoyment of Y contradicts my lack of enjoyment and/or sadness regarding Y.
- Kosmoid
  
  Some would argue that the Amos ‘n’ Andy show should never have been pulled from broadcast. As Xeni says, it’s complicated.
  - yosemite
    
    I have no idea what you’re talking about.
- bruckelsprout
  
  Ever since my whole family was killed by algebra, I have not been able to enjoy X’s or Y’s.
  - anansi133
    
    “She killed them with math. What else could it have been?” -Jayne
von Bobo

I like her, and her boozey nature. Perhaps it is a little bit forced, but it’s a good schtick!
The editing makes it!
Verre

Having read the comments first, I was annoyed by all the people on their high horses until I reached 0:49 and my eyes widened in horror.

“OMG! Those aren’t champagne glasses!”

Everyone’s a critic…
Anonymous

Thank god all you guys came rushing over here to watch this cute video and tell us how not funny it was. I was worried I was about to enjoy something.
Anonymous

… or, cooking on methadone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5tnlBY7Xek
DrawnOnTwos

This is soooooo cute. I love it. Yes, she is hamming it up but when I’m on camera so do I….and I bet your a hammy on camera too….
pxlpig

She’s no Vegan Black Metal Chef.
- Gulliver
  
  She’s no Vegan Black Metal Chef.
  
  Yeah, I don’t really get why this is funny. Some people are funny when drunk. This person, not so much.
GrrrlRomeo

Absolutely Fabulous.

Not everyone who gets drunk is an alcoholic. Just sayin’.
Anonymous

Needs to be picked up by HBO so it could be My Drunk & Naked Kitchen!
Anonymous

A funny idea, but all this did was make me thank my lucky stars (again) that the internets weren’t strong enough for one to upload such a video when I was her age.
ciacontra

BoingBoing is only ever allowed to post things that I, personally, find “funny”. Posting of anything else, therefore being by definition “not funny”, will be punishable by fines up to and including $1,000,000 Internet Monies.
- fraac
  
  The internet went badly wrong here.
Anonymous

Haha kazaa, amazing
Tetsubo

I was raised by an abusive drunk. Thankfully he is now sober. Not surprisingly I don’t drink. Yet I still find this woman entertaining. I am one of her subscribers. To each his own I guess.
subhan

Why?
- fraac
  
  I don’t think there is a ‘why’ so much as random mutation, but if you take judgmentalism as a fitness function it shouldn’t be hard to post amusing, inoffensive content for all. It’s 2011, people.
Anonymous

She’s an adorable drunk.

I get the whole YouTube-jumpcutty aesthetic. But maybe shoot the thing drunk. Edit the thing sober. Just sayin’.
VICTOR JIMENEZ

Id lol at 4:14 and 5:30.

At first I thought “This is not a good idea”, but then I was “awesome! more champain for the lady!!!!”
RhoneRanger

I stayed for the editing.