Neckties that frighten women into terrorized obedience

According to the copy on this old necktie ad, men who wear sufficiently modernist necktie patterns will find the women in their lives bowing and scraping in terrorized obedience. If you say so.

“Show Her It’s a Man’s World”

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: ad • fashion • gender • Old school • stupid

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The Snowden Principle

http://www.facebook.com/graham.g.martin Graham Martin

That’s a well-dressed man for someone in bed.
- http://profiles.google.com/maurice.reeves Maurice Reeves
  
  Don Draper dresses down for no man. (or woman).
bruckelsprout

Yes, there’s a reason it looks like he’s laying down in a twin sized bed…
JollyOrc

I still have a folder with a bunch of those mild to absolutely sexist or just risqué vintage ads on my hard drive. There is an amazing variety of such stuff…
- http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OXB62MUUTXJWZYI4SZ6QHVNQAI Laura
  
  I would really love to see them, please. I’m a fashion designer who sometimes designs clothes with vintage ads as part of the design. Any chance you’d be willing to share?
  
  darcylewis@yahoo.com
Guest

If the women are ‘bowing and scraping in terrorized obedience’ due to these power ties, shouldn’t she be serving him breakfast in bed, in the nude?

The tie on the left…why is that ‘manly’?
- travtastic
  
  The tie on the left clearly has retro, colorful balls on it.
http://www.unwesen.de/ unwesen

Those neckties frighten ME into terrorized obedience, and I’m not even a woman.
Andy Simmons

He may like to think that he’s subjugating his wife with his power tie, but I suspect that she’s only bringing him breakfast because his atrophied little legs won’t carry him into the kitchen.
Alan

I’ve never really thought of ugly neck ties as fetish devices, but then I’m not into latex either.
atimoshenko

Perfectly disgusting. How backward we were only a few short decades ago.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1372124636 Melissa Smith Kennedy

I think she’s angling that tray table leg in such a way that the balance of power is about to change.
- Guest
  
  Coffee out nose! XD You’re so funny! :)
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=530083270 Mike Armijo

do those tie’s look like video games to anyone else?
I’m thinking galaga..
- Kibo
  
  I’m glad I’m not the only one whose first thought was “GALAGA!!!”
  
  The second tie seems to show Improper Chopstick Use — I’ve never known that to impress anyone. Maybe you’re supposed to wear that tie while muttering “Stab ‘em all… stab ‘em all…” to induce fear in your prey. Then the nice men in the white coats come and take you to a special place where you will never again be allowed to play with anything as sharp as a rice ball.
  - http://profiles.google.com/peterwok Peter Ellis
    
    Not only that, the chopsticks are being used to stab pre-implantation blastocysts. One way of terrifying her into submission I suppose. ”Bring me tea, or I will impale our unborn offspring on a sliver of bamboo and wear them around my neck.”
Guest

‘This is a man’s world.
But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl’.
-James Brown
- Guest
  
  Those lyrics creep me the hell out.
  - Guest
    
    According to Wiki, the lyrics were written by Brown’s female writing partner, Betty Jean Newsome. Brown recorded the song in 1966. The title was supposed to be a pun on the title of the 1963 comedy, ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’.
RustyCannon

That woman tripped and fell and didn’t spill a thing. Amazing.

Or is she trying to stay out of reach of a crazy wife abuser? Obviously he’s mentally ill. Who else would get out of bed, shave, comb their hair (with copious amounts of product applied), get dressed, and then get back in bed?
- zombiebob
  
  Or wear a tie as ridiculously lame as any of those
  - RustyCannon
    
    Those are beautiful vintage ties. Kramer would have a big problem with your comment, if he were an actual person.
http://twitter.com/cpierpoint cpierpoint

I always heard that SciFi was popular in the 50′s
merrick04

At least the tie will give her something to choke the jerk with when she comes to her senses.
http://twitter.com/EuclidAlone Vincent Millay

Van Heusen has always been safe, sane, and consensual. I’m sure she has a safeword.
DJBudSonic

“Bob” approves of the subliminal pipe backgrounds in these patterns. That’s why they are so power-packed, they have the power of Slack. Which also explains why he is fully dressed in bed.
http://www.facebook.com/Muneraven Karen Sylte

Oh it’s not just men. What they didn’t understand back then is that anyone who wears a dress shirt and modernest, wide tie in bed gets that reaction. I have several old ties in my closet for those occasions when I need a subservient woman to do my bidding.

You should see what happens when I rock the fedora . . .
http://about.me/jeffgates Jeff Gates

I collect those ties from the 1940s and I can tell you they don’t make women suddenly subservient to me at all. It’s all fiction. BTW, the tie on the left is from a time traveler. Those are CDs.
- catdance
  
  Have you tried wearing them to bed?
xzzy

The sneaky part is this type of thinking is still alive and well.

Open up any men’s magazine and watch near-naked girls try to sell beer or razors or soap to you. The assumption of subservience is still there, advertisers have just learned you can’t be obvious about it anymore.
- http://about.me/jeffgates Jeff Gates
  
  I agree with you. But it’s a lot more subtle and transparent. If you’ve got teenage girls (like I do), you worry a lot about where they get their sense of self.
  - Guest
    
    Subtle? Really?
    - http://about.me/jeffgates Jeff Gates
      
      To naive teenage girls, yes. Subtle. Too subtle.
- Guest
  
  So true. Check out Sociological Images for some examples of this. It sucks to be reminded daily that my only true worth is as a sex object and a slave. FTP.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Ricardo-Caiano/734819305 Ricardo Caiano
  
  I see no problem in this. The only possessions I have in this world are beer razors soap neckties and tools.
monopole

Haberdashers of Gor!
BillGlover

Lies! Everyone knows that a REAL DOM has a hat and a belt buckle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpznoX7fGi4
Brainspore

Or if domination isn’t your thing, try our “slave leash” model!
Adrian

She’s on her knees because the legs of her table are so short.
lthrcoat

That’s what the copy says? Really? I’m missing something.
https://twitter.com/misterjayem MrJM

A table leg to the junk is gonna adjust his attitude in about two seconds…
timebinder

Any woman should be submissive in the presence of a man who would wear a starched dress shirt and tie in bed before breakfast, at least until he was safely restrained by a straitjacket.
http://www.facebook.com/people/August-Franklin-Dunning/1261762600 August Franklin Dunning

You should see what a Bow tie does to women!! Holy Cravat BATMAN!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1674805833 Beryl MacLachlan

He should be checking his coffee for arsenic.
wylkyn

She’s thinking “If he’s crazy enough to wear those ties, he’s crazy enough to do anything!”
Bill Higgins– Beam Jockey

These ties remind me of the Brown Whisper. Although the Brown Whisper made no particular masculinist claims, as I recall.
http://inchoate.myopenid.com/ Inchoate

I just bought a Van Heusen tie yesterday. I promise to use its power only for good.
Teller

Well, you never know. Maybe a few hours earlier those neckties were tied around his wrists and strapped to the bedposts.
nosehat

I love how all of the Manly overcompensation in the ad copy leads up to a delicate appreciation of fine fabrics and sewing (in a manly way of course!)…

“And Man! … how that Van Heusen sewmanship makes the fine fabrics hold their shape”

Sewmanship? Really?

Great find!
- Ashley Yakeley
  
  Nosehat, the ties are made by seamsters. They’ve got a union and everything.
planettom

I will say, I have a Van Heusen shirt which seems to cause a variety of women to go out of their way to say, “Nice shirt!” or “I really like that shirt!” I’ve never had anything else in my wardrobe that seems to affect women so, so I wouldn’t put it past Van Heusen to have ties with Hypnotoad qualities.

Alas, I have laundered the shirt so many times that it is now almost in tatters, so I have lost my Van Heusen shirt mojo. I could buy another Van Heusen shirt, but if it fails to have these magical qualities, I would be crushed.
- penguinchris
  
  Interesting, but when I see Van Heusen products in stores I cringe because they look really awful to me. The ties are awful (sorry to the guy who mentioned he bought one recently), the shirts are polyestery and awful, and the typeface used for the logo (which I think is slightly changed from this ad) makes me recoil in disgust for some reason. Everything they make screams “cheap 1970′s polyester garbage” to me.
  
  Of course, I don’t apparently own any particular clothing that causes women to constantly compliment me (though my clothes are all nice and fit me well and I *have* gotten compliments), so what do I know.
- adamnvillani
  
  I have a Van Heusen shirt with some kind of stain guard on it that works like magic. I can literally spill SOY SAUCE on it and it will wipe right off. I could work as a butcher and not need an apron.
Rks1157

Man’s world? Seriously… What guy happily wears a tie in bed?
gwailo_joe

Chopsticks stabbing two moons. . .I’d wear that.

But the other two? Galaga bugs notwithstanding, they put the ‘ugh’ in ugly.
inflected

A little late on the uptake here, but wanted to say thank you for posting this, Cory. Yesterday’s contentious discussion on gender issues around comic Gabby’s recent offering on the subject demonstrates the pervasive not-getting-of-it of many good and true men re: male privilege.Even if men are so very sincerely delicious. So yeah, thanks again for that and all that you all do @ BB. Daily treasure, etc.
http://twitter.com/crayolathief Crayolathief

Modern neckties are the last defense we have against the marauding bands of viking women. http://bit.ly/ndKOme