Manhood camping firequest


38 Responses to “Manhood camping firequest”

  1. kekko says:

    Did he mention HE IS NOT GAY?

    But the thing about not sharing his own crystals… that’s kinda gay :/

  2. skysky says:

    Methinks he doth protest too much…

    Also, if it’s not gay, why does this dude specify that you have to be able to “keep it up without help”? Is he planning to score some chicks during this bizarre spirit quest he’s proposing?

  3. Ultra Fem says:

    …that’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen…

  4. echolocate chocolate says:

    I laughed :)  But it is a bit too perfect, isn’t it?

  5. Cowicide says:

    - gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY. 
    - cock rings, can’t keep it up w/o help, you aren’t gonna make it on this quest

    Sure, like any straight guy he wants a man with a natural hard cock with him in the woods.  None of that queer cock ring bullshit.

  6. Boomer says:

    By stating he’s not sharing his crystal, may I assume he’s not talking about a place setting?

  7. Get the feeling he was partaking in some of the Crystal he’s not sharing when the post was written? Far too lucid to be on psychotropic fungii. 
    Also, Nickleback’s The Long Road for the firequests and visionquests? Ouch. Ouch. 

    Finally, Kekko? Crystal sharing and gaiety have about as much to do with each other as Nickleback and gaiety. 

  8. heartfelt73 says:

    Nickelback?? Gross. This guy is definitely not gay. In fact the description of this Manhood Outing is what I imagine a Nickelback camping trip would look like.

  9. querent says:

    Come, Cloud Chaser….NOT A GAY THING.

    I think I just had my own, one man JO circle.  It was very manly.

  10. transcendnow says:

    The guys at Something Awful originally made all the Craigslist JO posts; the crystal part sounds like them.

    • bklynchris says:

      Now that I know about this website I need never refill my Wellebutrin Rx again.  WHERE does he get the photos of these guys?

  11. Ken Berry says:

    I really don’t get the JO thing, what does it mean? Also does he mean meth?

    • gd23 says:

      It’s certainly not a mistyping of OJ that’s for sure. Google it…you’re not at work are you?

    • tw15 says:

      Presumably JO as in Jerk Off (masturbate). There is also a Japanese martial art weapon called the Jo (still used by the Toyko police), but I doubt he means that. 

    • Halloween Jack says:

      I think that the crystals in question are the sort of quartz crystal jewelry that used to be (and, for all I know, still are) favored by New Age types. Basically, he’s proposing some sort of backwoods pseudo-Wiccan ritual where they masturbate and “charge” the crystals with orgone energy.

  12. highlyverbal says:

    “Crystals get jacked, no lie.”
    I wish I could un-see that sentence.  Why would anyone lie about that!?

  13. Ashen Victor says:

    “…the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears.”

    I see next Monday headlines: “Dozens mauled at bear attack. Gay camping possible cause”

  14. Add a drawing of a muscular arm that looks like a penis and you have an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

  15. GrrrlRomeo says:

    Maybe not gay, but definitely g0y.

  16. SuperMarkert says:

    And you don’t have to worry about the music; he’s got it covered because he’s bringing the Nickelback CD!

  17. awjt says:

    Ein Hilariaq.

  18. ill lich says:

    Yes, as others have pointed out this is most likely fake, a CL prank, like the infamous “imitation crabmeat and HO scale trains” craigslist ad from a a few years ago made by Something Awful that went semi-viral (particularly the constant insistence that “I AM NOT GAY” right after obviously homoerotic statements.)

    click and see, some of these are funny in a weird dada/surreal way:

  19. bklynchris says:

    OK, how lame am I?  I did not know what JO meant!  Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!

    Finally, this so gay that I highly doubt any gay man would attend, invited or otherwise.

    And yeah, the mention of a discman kinda made me yell BS in my best Penn voice.

  20. Daen de Leon says:

    protective/splash resistant eye wear

    Now THAT’s disturbing …

  21. Teirhan says:

    This is like some craigslist equivalent of the bandana / hanky code, right?

  22. JBarnes01 says:

    I have only one response to this.  “I’m out”

    Not in an “out of the closet” sort of way–I mean, No! I’m not manly enough for this group, count me out…

  23. iktiw says:

    “…there’s gonna be enough guns going off and spent shells to pick up”

  24. cramerica says:

    We owned those bears! NOT THE GAY GUY KIND OF BEAR!

  25. Rosscott says:

    While we’re on the topic of sweet bros looking for good times, here’s a great one as well:

    “You: Awesome Bro who digs sweet times, hang outs, high fives, natty boh and more high fives.
    Me: Dog who learned how to use the internet.”

  26. travtastic says:

    Luckily, I do have some of those clip things that rock climbers use

  27. endymion says:

    “- knowledge of modern music…”

    Better brush up on my Schoenberg and other serialists before the firequest!

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