Manhood camping firequest

The Manhood Camping Firequest is NOT A GAY THING. [Craiglist via @Annaleen/@charliejane]


  1. Did he mention HE IS NOT GAY?

    But the thing about not sharing his own crystals… that’s kinda gay :/

  2. Methinks he doth protest too much…

    Also, if it’s not gay, why does this dude specify that you have to be able to “keep it up without help”? Is he planning to score some chicks during this bizarre spirit quest he’s proposing?

  3. – gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY. 
    – cock rings, can’t keep it up w/o help, you aren’t gonna make it on this quest

    Sure, like any straight guy he wants a man with a natural hard cock with him in the woods.  None of that queer cock ring bullshit.

  4. Get the feeling he was partaking in some of the Crystal he’s not sharing when the post was written? Far too lucid to be on psychotropic fungii. 
    Also, Nickleback’s The Long Road for the firequests and visionquests? Ouch. Ouch. 

    Finally, Kekko? Crystal sharing and gaiety have about as much to do with each other as Nickleback and gaiety. 

  5. Nickelback?? Gross. This guy is definitely not gay. In fact the description of this Manhood Outing is what I imagine a Nickelback camping trip would look like.

    1. “If you’re the heter-bro I’m looking for, then we can JO
      furiously/competitively and then just hang or whatever. I’ve got laser
      tag too.”

      That’s pretty awesome.

    1. Now that I know about this website I need never refill my Wellebutrin Rx again.  WHERE does he get the photos of these guys?

    1. Presumably JO as in Jerk Off (masturbate). There is also a Japanese martial art weapon called the Jo (still used by the Toyko police), but I doubt he means that. 

    2. I think that the crystals in question are the sort of quartz crystal jewelry that used to be (and, for all I know, still are) favored by New Age types. Basically, he’s proposing some sort of backwoods pseudo-Wiccan ritual where they masturbate and “charge” the crystals with orgone energy.

  6. “Crystals get jacked, no lie.”
    I wish I could un-see that sentence.  Why would anyone lie about that!?

  7. “…the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears.”

    I see next Monday headlines: “Dozens mauled at bear attack. Gay camping possible cause”

    1. OK, how funny would it be if this were now to bc an actual episode?  I can totally see it!

  8. And you don’t have to worry about the music; he’s got it covered because he’s bringing the Nickelback CD!

  9. Yes, as others have pointed out this is most likely fake, a CL prank, like the infamous “imitation crabmeat and HO scale trains” craigslist ad from a a few years ago made by Something Awful that went semi-viral (particularly the constant insistence that “I AM NOT GAY” right after obviously homoerotic statements.)

    click and see, some of these are funny in a weird dada/surreal way:

  10. OK, how lame am I?  I did not know what JO meant!  Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!

    Finally, this so gay that I highly doubt any gay man would attend, invited or otherwise.

    And yeah, the mention of a discman kinda made me yell BS in my best Penn voice.

  11. I have only one response to this.  “I’m out”

    Not in an “out of the closet” sort of way–I mean, No! I’m not manly enough for this group, count me out…

  12. “- knowledge of modern music…”

    Better brush up on my Schoenberg and other serialists before the firequest!

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