Shark found dead in woods

Police in Milton, New Hampshire, found the carcass of a shark in woods more than an hour's drive from the sea.

Officers from the Milton police and New Hampshire Fish and Game were called, and after their investigation, decided to leave the shark where it was dumped and let nature take its course.

The mystery of Jabberjaw, who has not been seen since 1979, may finally be solved.

Milton police find shark in woods [WMUR]


    1. >Land shark!

      Yup.  That’s what people ’round these parts are thinkin’.

      And — not that I’m sayin’ I know anything about it — but word down at the diner is that some folk have gotten just about fed up with that shark and his tricks.

      Again, not that I know anything about it…

  1. So do we figure that this is one of these deals where the firefighting plane scooped up a bunch of water with the shark in it and dumped it out on the forest? I guess if there had been a recent fire there, they would have said so…

  2. Here’s my version of the investigation.

    “Yep, that’s a shark alright.”

    “Ayhuh. That’s what she is.”

    “So should we bury it?”


    1. I drank the brennavin but said no to the stinky fish. Icelanders are refreshingly odd.

      Old Norwegian joke: A woman writes in to Ask Olaf; “Dear Olaf, how do I get rid of a skunk under my porch?” Ask Olaf: “Try putting out some lutefisk.” The woman writes in again; “Dear Olaf, the skunk is gone but now how do I get rid of the damn Norwegians?”

      Ayuh, by Jeezus.

  3. Also, It’s been 35 years since I moved from New England to California, and I had almost forgotten how much New Hampshire makes me think of Deliverance.

  4. All right, all jokes aside, this looks like a Blue Shark that was caught in the Gulf of Maine and later discarded by its captor, who perhaps realized he wasn’t licensed to catch sharks. Considering nearly 100 million sharks are killed every year, we should consider it a victory that somebody is vaguely concerned about being caught with a dead shark….

  5. I would have been much more concerned if they had found a LIVE shark in the woods. Land sharks are nothing to scoff at!

    1. Don’t mess with the Costal Nostra or you might be fitted for a new pair of styrofoam fins!

  6. Police in Milton, New Hampshire, found the carcass of a shark in woods more than an hour’s drive from the sea.

    Shouldn’t they be investigating who stole the shark’s car?

  7. North Korea has finally developed the technology to launch predatory creatures across the world.  May God have mercy on our souls.

  8. The only good thing about this thread is that it’s acting as a repository for so many of the really lame joke attempts cluttering up the interwebz.

  9. Hate to break this to you, but Jabberjaw was indeed seen recently on Scooby Doo Mystery Inc., episode 14, “Mystery Solvers State Finals” (alongside Captain Caveman, Speed Buggy, and the Funky Phantom).

  10. Jabberjaw was also seen in 2002, on an episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.  Because that show was amazing!

  11. This story’s getting no repsect. No respect at all, I tell ya’.  Nyu-nyu-nyuk!

    Then again, Pain covered that better than I ever could:

  12. Zorak: Hey! What’s with the shark?

    Space Ghost: That’s been there… for over a year.

    Zorak: Oh. Well, I don’t remember it.

    Space Ghost: Well, it was one year ago today I brought it in and said, “Here is the shark, I’ll place it right here.”

    Moltar: What did I say?

    Space Ghost: You said you were so excited about this merger that you couldn’t speak.

  13. I did a google image search for “land shark” and was amazed at how few hits there were for the SNL one from the 70’s.

  14. nothing like finding a ship in the desert aka close encounters
    maybe it was a finance wizz you know shark!

  15. Fang’s “Landshark” is the first thing that came to mind.  I thank that shark, dumped in the woods for bringing back some fond memories. And if you never had the fortune to witness the spectacle we call “Fang” for yourself, here’s a a link to “Landshark”, just for you “old schoolers”:

    I’ll stop now, before I wax nostalgic…

  16. You think this is funny, huh? The first ones could barely make it to shore before turning around! Now there going this far inland! At this rate the tenth generation will walking ashore and taking our women folk! One generation if they start mating with octopuses and reading Japanese hentai.

  17. It is clear that people who do not have proper license for hunting shark would have caused the mishappening. Proper security force has to be implemented near the sea to avoid this kind of happenings.

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