Shark found dead in woods


48 Responses to “Shark found dead in woods”

    • Chuck says:

      >Land shark!

      Yup.  That’s what people ’round these parts are thinkin’.

      And — not that I’m sayin’ I know anything about it — but word down at the diner is that some folk have gotten just about fed up with that shark and his tricks.

      Again, not that I know anything about it…

  1. Matthew Elmslie says:

    So do we figure that this is one of these deals where the firefighting plane scooped up a bunch of water with the shark in it and dumped it out on the forest? I guess if there had been a recent fire there, they would have said so…

  2. Busternal says:

    Here’s my version of the investigation.

    “Yep, that’s a shark alright.”

    “Ayhuh. That’s what she is.”

    “So should we bury it?”


  3. serfer0 says:

    Drummers, man. Amiright?

  4. I think I know what happened!

    I advise not raping bears!

  5. Guest says:

    Did they try using the Jaws of Life?

  6. BarBarSeven says:

    Dead shark in the forest I know, I know, it’s serious.

  7. Eric Akawie says:

    “We’re gonna need a bigger ATV.”

  8. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Damn busybodies spoiled some Icelandic immigrants’ Christmas dinner.

    • irksome says:

      I drank the brennavin but said no to the stinky fish. Icelanders are refreshingly odd.

      Old Norwegian joke: A woman writes in to Ask Olaf; “Dear Olaf, how do I get rid of a skunk under my porch?” Ask Olaf: “Try putting out some lutefisk.” The woman writes in again; “Dear Olaf, the skunk is gone but now how do I get rid of the damn Norwegians?”

      Ayuh, by Jeezus.

  9. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Also, It’s been 35 years since I moved from New England to California, and I had almost forgotten how much New Hampshire makes me think of Deliverance.

  10. BarBarSeven says:

    R.I.P. Landshark. :/

  11. Felton / Moderator says:

    Another casualty of the Jets vs. Sharks gang war, I’d say.

  12. He wasn’t wearing SCUBA gear by any chance, now was he?

  13. Eddie Perkins says:

    Clearly the work of bears. 

  14. tyger11 says:

    I’m pretty sure I know what the topic of Stephen Colbert’s next Threat Down is gonna be…

  15. All right, all jokes aside, this looks like a Blue Shark that was caught in the Gulf of Maine and later discarded by its captor, who perhaps realized he wasn’t licensed to catch sharks. Considering nearly 100 million sharks are killed every year, we should consider it a victory that somebody is vaguely concerned about being caught with a dead shark….

  16. Ari Kolbeinsson says:

    I would have been much more concerned if they had found a LIVE shark in the woods. Land sharks are nothing to scoff at!

  17. snow_peak says:

    How close is this to the Hamptons?

  18. awjt says:

    We have the answer, finally.  If a shark barks in the woods, obviously no one hears it.

  19. PaulCyopick says:

    I blame Captain Caveman.

  20. gijoel says:

    He crossed the fish mafia. Now he sleeps with the mammals.

  21. lanz says:

    I’d better worried to find one ALIVE in the woods

  22. Explained it in 2006!

  23. Just_Ok says:

    Someone notify the appropriate Bar Association

  24. Telegram Sam says:

    Police in Milton, New Hampshire, found the carcass of a shark in woods more than an hour’s drive from the sea.

    Shouldn’t they be investigating who stole the shark’s car?

  25. bruckelsprout says:

    North Korea has finally developed the technology to launch predatory creatures across the world.  May God have mercy on our souls.

  26. Mike Greco says:

    The only good thing about this thread is that it’s acting as a repository for so many of the really lame joke attempts cluttering up the interwebz.

  27. Russ Eckhardt says:

    Hate to break this to you, but Jabberjaw was indeed seen recently on Scooby Doo Mystery Inc., episode 14, “Mystery Solvers State Finals” (alongside Captain Caveman, Speed Buggy, and the Funky Phantom).

  28. Lobster says:

    Did they find a pot of geraniums nearby?

  29. Lina Cee says:

    Jabberjaw was also seen in 2002, on an episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.  Because that show was amazing!

  30. Gutierrez says:

    This story’s getting no repsect. No respect at all, I tell ya’.  Nyu-nyu-nyuk!

    Then again, Pain covered that better than I ever could:

  31. Eric says:

    Zorak: Hey! What’s with the shark?

    Space Ghost: That’s been there… for over a year.

    Zorak: Oh. Well, I don’t remember it.

    Space Ghost: Well, it was one year ago today I brought it in and said, “Here is the shark, I’ll place it right here.”

    Moltar: What did I say?

    Space Ghost: You said you were so excited about this merger that you couldn’t speak.

  32. Robbie Khan says:

    It’s the TST feeding the Trolls!

    Where’s Hans…

  33. SHeadius says:

    I did a google image search for “land shark” and was amazed at how few hits there were for the SNL one from the 70′s.

  34. Peter Harris says:

    nothing like finding a ship in the desert aka close encounters
    maybe it was a finance wizz you know shark!

  35. JBarnes01 says:

    Fang’s “Landshark” is the first thing that came to mind.  I thank that shark, dumped in the woods for bringing back some fond memories. And if you never had the fortune to witness the spectacle we call “Fang” for yourself, here’s a a link to “Landshark”, just for you “old schoolers”:

    I’ll stop now, before I wax nostalgic…

  36. You think this is funny, huh? The first ones could barely make it to shore before turning around! Now there going this far inland! At this rate the tenth generation will walking ashore and taking our women folk! One generation if they start mating with octopuses and reading Japanese hentai.

  37. jeligula says:

    The most amazing shark you ever saw!  Nyuck nyuck!

  38. cazart says:

    So THAT’S what happened to the Russian from The Sopranos. Of COURSE.

  39. Because everything you read in comic books is true, this is obviously related to Astro City’s Shirak the Devourer.

  40. jphilby says:

    That’s going to be a fine place to grow tomatoes in a few years.

  41. It is clear that people who do not have proper license for hunting shark would have caused the mishappening. Proper security force has to be implemented near the sea to avoid this kind of happenings.

Leave a Reply