Comments on: TOM THE DANCING BUG: Is "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" a TRUE STORY? (Yes, and you're living it.)

By: Gulliver

Gulliver — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:02:00 +0000

Any naturally sapient species is going to have animalistic baggage of
some sort or another, and get disgusted with itself somewhere along the
way.

I think perhaps the term you were looking for was ‘atavistic’ baggage. We are still entirely animals.

By: Stefan Jones

Stefan Jones — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 21:45:00 +0000

Any naturally sapient species is going to have animalistic baggage of some sort or another, and get disgusted with itself somewhere along the way. Those with cinema-making powers will no doubt make movies about alternate scenarios.

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 21:01:00 +0000

I’m not descended from an ape–I just look like I am because of this meat suit that I wear over my hyperalloy metal endoskeleton. That way, nobody knows I’m a cyborg from the future. I’ve got another suit that makes me look like an asari, it’s pretty sexy.

By: Kevin Street

Kevin Street — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 19:30:00 +0000

@boingboing-2f73168bf3656f697507752ec592c437:disqus : Balancing on two legs meant that Charlie and our ancestors needed to develop a wider pelvis. That allowed for babies with bigger heads, and (except in the case of my next door neighbor) bigger brains. It also freed up a lot of neural connections that had previously been used for spacial positioning in three dimensions. When selection pressures later favoured the development of language, the no longer needed branch swinging neurons were co-opted into speech functions. It’s amazing how everything fitted together.

By: MadMolecule

MadMolecule — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 19:01:00 +0000

Nonsense. That’s the hand and forearm of the human whose head is visible nearby.

What this actually proves is that humans killed off all the dinosaurs before this picture was drawn.

By: PrivatizeThis

PrivatizeThis — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 17:06:00 +0000

When I was a really young kid, I used to imagine what it would be like to be an ape…and then I found out that I had been one all along. It was the greatest day of my six-year-old life. Thanks, public school education.

By: wizardru

wizardru — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 15:27:00 +0000

It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true.

By: Grandma Bates

Grandma Bates — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 14:06:00 +0000

Look at frame 5. The outline of a “long necked” dinosaur is clearly visible. Here we have incontrovertible proof that people co-existed with dinosaurs. I hope this puts an end to the myth of evolution once and for all! That damn dirty ape Darwin should be ashamed of himself….

By: Singe

Singe — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 10:07:00 +0000

If cardinals become popes, why are there still cardinals?

By: Artor

Artor — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 02:51:00 +0000

Just like you can tell Americans didn’t come from Europe because there are still Europeans. (Insert the nationality of your ancestors here) That makes perfect sense, right?

By: Nater

Nater — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 01:15:00 +0000

Gibbons are funky. Which is why I do the Funky Gibbon on a daily basis.

Couldn’t care less about siamangs thought..

By: Felton / Moderator

Felton / Moderator — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 01:05:00 +0000

Lemurs, lorises, and tarsiers are primates, but they’re not apes. Gibbons and siamangs are the lesser apes, if I remember correctly.

By: eviladrian

eviladrian — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 00:51:00 +0000

And gibbons! People always forget the gibbon!

By: Josh Burns

Josh Burns — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 00:42:00 +0000

Now that we know we’re Apes… what do we do about it? I have an idea… but I’d be criticized for it… and I can’t stand criticism. I point to Charlton Heston’s love of guns, and I point to his hatred of Apes. That’s all.

By: JoshP

JoshP — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 00:31:00 +0000

i don’t know if the phrase is still used as such, but the ‘great apes’ refer to humans, chimps, gorillas, etc to seperate us from the lesser apes. Those being lemurs, lorises and the insy cutsy tarsiers. Thats what they were teaching in intro to physical anthropology when I was in school.
@rossindetroit that would be an excellent way to start a flame war among physical anthropologists :)

By: RobertC

RobertC — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 23:05:00 +0000

jtegnell: Also mandrills, which is so risible it makes me chortle.

By: jtegnell

jtegnell — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:57:00 +0000

Look, guys, it’s all about descent.

Iknope: humans are exactly equally related to chimps and bonobos. All three of us have the same common ancestor, but chimps and bonobos have a more recent common ancestor.

B A: That’s a poor definition, because that would make Barbary macaques apes.

https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Cladistics

By: Mujokan

Mujokan — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:37:00 +0000

I believe one explanation is that competing monkeys (close enough) evolved to eat green fruit, forcing us out.

By: B A

B A — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:08:00 +0000

The simplest definition if I recall correctly, is that apes have no tails, whereas monkeys do.
IANABiologist

By: chellberty

chellberty — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:44:00 +0000

I was too late to answer this question darn realtime comment update.
Chimpanzees are “great” apes so are you, orangutans and gorillas http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hominidae

The debate is still ongoing it is between chimps, orangutans and bonobo, I think.

By: ROSSINDETROIT

ROSSINDETROIT — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:43:00 +0000

2 million years ago in Africa climate change causes a drought. Drought reduces marginal forests inhabited by Australopithecines. Australopithecines are forced to spend more time on the ground between stands of trees. Most are eaten by large predators. A few fleet footed ones survive. They evolve longer legs, shorter feet and sprinting. Once freed of arboreal life they have their hands free to care for young born helpless. Brains can now evolve in complexity since infants are protected while their brains continue to grow after birth. Big brains + terrestrial environment = homo apes.

By: lknope

lknope — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:26:00 +0000

Humans are the third chimpanzee. (The other 2 being chimp chimps and bonobo chimps.) Humans are most closely related to bonobo chimps. And nelc is correct, Apes are Humans, Chimps, Gorillas and Orangatans.

By: ill lich

ill lich — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:09:00 +0000

“Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!”– you wouldn’t be saying that if he was preening you and inspecting for parasites, ungrateful Australopithecine.

By: nemryn

nemryn — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:08:00 +0000

Ah, so chimps are a subset of apes. That’s what I was missing. Thanks!

By: NelC

NelC — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:59:00 +0000

Chimps are apes, as are gorillas, orang-utans and bonobos.

By: Brainspore

Brainspore — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:58:00 +0000

Frankly, yes. Chimps and humans are both apes.

By: nemryn

nemryn — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:54:00 +0000

Wait, I thought humans were most closely related to chimpanzees, not apes. Am I misinformed? Is my taxonomic knowledge lacking?

By: nebogipfel

nebogipfel — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:31:00 +0000

You Cad!

By: Mujokan

Mujokan — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:28:00 +0000

And so, life returned to normal, or at least as normal as it gets on this primitive dirtball inhabited by psychotic apes.

By: GuyInMilwaukee

GuyInMilwaukee — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:24:00 +0000

The proof that humans were not once apes is that there are apes. Humans were always humans.. just a simpler form as in Michele Bachmann and Sean Hannity. Someone needs to push the evolution button over at Fox.
As the great Brion Gysin once said; “Man is bad animal”.