$300 toothpaste squeezer

Despite the utter profligacy of this $300 toothpaste squeezer -- seemingly the perfect gift for the oligarch or supervillain in your life -- I must say that it's a fairly pretty thing.

Toothpaste Squeezer (via DVICE)


  1. I mean… wow. Um. Words just fail me.

    Hey! It has four silicone base feet! That’s worth it! And it “accommodates large tubes”… ewww.

  2. It IS beautiful.  Much better looking than the front right edge of my bathroom vanity.  That’s the spot where I pinch the tube between the vanity and the handle of my toothbrush, and mash the toothpaste up toward the top.

  3. What really gets you, in the long run, is that you are obliged to tip the turn-key urchin ‘tuppence after you have finished your morning’s ablutions. 

  4. I want a Steampunk toothpaste squeezer.  All clockwork driven with a helical mainspring, a flyball speed governor and ruby bearings.  Make it in Naval bronze with a lignum vitae base.  Nothing else is good enough.

  5. What a brilliant idea! I am always wondering how to get toothpaste out of those tricky tubes. What a relief!

  6. While there are DEFINITELY cheaper ways to get out the last stuff out of a tube, this is one really nice looking apparatus.

    If I had it I would use it to get the last bit of Cadmium Red out of the tube.

  7. A thing of beauty indeed, but then most well designed, well manufactured artefacts are beautiful. 

    What we really need is a redesign of the common toothpaste/paint tube.  How hard can it be?

  8. Reminds me of this comment I heard on a recent edition of the BBC Radio 4 quiz show ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue’ http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qnwb

    A round of Closed Quotes with quotes taken from a 1930’s husband’s etiquette manual:

    Jack Dee: ‘Don’t squeeze the toothpaste from the top instead of from the bottom. This is one of the small things in life that…’
    Jeremy Hardy: Shouldn’t be in your bottom.

  9. logistically, how does one actually use this? I can’t imagine picking up the whole contraption to get the proper angle, and is it heavy enough that it wont move if you just turn the key with it sitting on your sink?

  10. Needs an Arduino to regulate the extrusion length.  And parameter files for each toothpaste type and user preference.

  11. I’m totally making one of these out of my leftover Sugru, before it cures in its foil pack.  Then I’ll use it to get the rest of the Sugru out.

  12. I have a binder clip on my toothpaste. They used to make tubes out of metal. You could roll them up and they’d stay rolled up. Now they make them out of plastic. When you squeeze it, it unrolls and all the toothpaste shoots back down into the bottom of the tube.

    1. They used to make the tubes out of lead foil.  A lifetime’s worth of an important trace element every time you brush.

  13. Tom’s of Maine sells toothpaste in metal tubes; it works great with my monogrammed sterling silver toothpaste tube rolling key. Back when I was in art school (and on a very tight budged) I ordered one from Tiffany — at the time I think it was about $20 (with the monogram!). A very silly purchase, I admit, but I am still quite fond of it, and use it to this day.

    1. Tom’s of Maine sells toothpaste in metal tubes

      They’ve been in plastic for at least a year. You’ve been buying old toothpaste. Or your oral hygiene is highly sporadic.

      1. So you’re saying that both CVS and Whole Foods are selling “old” toothpaste? Hmmmm………………

  14. Speaking as a machinist of 10+ years, I can tell you what you’re looking at there is (if they’re producing these things in any kind of quantity at all) maybe ten dollars worth of parts and assembly. Thirty to fifty dollars might be a reasonable price. Three-hundred dollars is what we in the industry would call a massive motherf**king rip-off. Of course maybe each piece was individually hand-crafted by some obscure sect of lathe-operating monks who lubricate their tools with rarest oils which must be carried out of the deepest South American jungles on foot, and then assembled in some arcane religious ceremony which can only be performed during a total lunar eclipse, but if that were the case I would imagine it probably would have replaced “chrome-plated” as the main selling point.

  15. I only want the second one you described.  Why didn’t they tell us about the monks???

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