A Chinese version of Batman's origins

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Craig Yoe pointed me to this delightful Chinese version of Batman's origins, found on a dollar store toy.

Chinese dollar store offers wonderfully insane backstory for Batman

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  1. Doctor Jackstraw, the Abnormal Drug Trafficker, was a particularly daunting criminal activate to stroke.

  2. It made perfect sense and wasn’t that far off until it got to the part about Spiderman. I don’t even know how bad translations could possibly get that mistake in there. 

      1. No, it’s just a mistake. This is tied to the “Batman Begins” movie from 2005. It all basically makes sense in that context except for confusing a spider for a bat. Tougon is Falcone and Jackstraw is Scarecrow. (Jackstraw is an archaic variant of scarecrow, Tougon I have no idea.)

      2. I do not use the phrase casually, but the Sense of Right Alliance made me literally laugh out loud just now.

  3. I wonder if this is Chinese, because normally you’d say “gaotan” for Gotham City, not “gete”. I would investigate further in what language “gete” = “Gotham” but my interest ran out. Also you can find commentary on this packaging dating back to 2008, and probably further back if you look hard enough.

  4. Absolutely priceless.  At first, I was ambivalent in that it couldn’t possibly transcend Japanese translations, but was pleasantly surprised; to wit, if you do not have a firm grip on a mythos, make shit up.  That’s how new ones get started.  A sonar-directed flying spider that thrives in darkness is a myth that I am happy to spread.

  5. I find it beneath contempt that you would dare post something without scouring the entire damned internet to make sure that it has never been posted before. I find that I can derive no enjoyment from this photo, knowing that it has been seen before.

  6. I personally liked “abnormal drug trafficker” — it sounds like one of those John Hodgman hobo names or something.

  7. I don’t know if it will taken a superhero to fix this but when I logged in and tried to post earlier there was a phone or Blackberry ad right in the text box so I couldn’t type anything. No great loss, since I didn’t have anything that clever to say, but has anyone else experienced this?

  8. I, for one, am most amused by Ninja Group. It seems so financier-y. I want to see what their holdings and stock portfolio look like.

  9. Batman is a God Monster with intelligence.  We love Batman very much because he always survive by using some funny ways.

  10. So does stroking all kinds of criminal activate them (as this helpful reference work suggests), or does that only work for certain types of criminal?

    Is “Ra’s Al-Ghul” an example of a stroked criminal? (Typographically, he certainly is.)  If so, why is Bruce taking advice from him?!

  11. But there’s nothing particularly Chinese about this piece of misrepresentation is there? Other than the accident of location. Anyone, from anywhere, who either didn’t understand, or just didn’t give a toss, could have come up with this nonsense at any time (well, OK, after 1939 then).

  12. “And to think that in 2000 years, historians will write very long books on the batman mythos based on this one surviving fragment…”
    …and on Mickey Mouse: “The God Who Failed”.

  13. Interesting that the apostrophe is escaped in the phrase “Ra’s Al-Ghul”. The only reason I can think of for that is that the text was stored in a SQL database. Now that I type it out I’m not sure why exactly I find that interesting, but I do.

    1. It’s only an escape sequence in certain databases. So we know they’re not using MSSQL Server. Or maybe they are, and that’s why the sequence made it to the printer.

  14. This is cute … but maybe Batman does translate as Spiderman? Okay, probably not, but consider; in German “Batman” would literally translate to “Fledermaus mench”, or translated back to english “Flying-mouse man”. Can you imagine that? 

    (Panicing villain) “Who are you!?!?”
    (Batman) “I’m flying mouse man!”

    It really doesn’t have the same impact, does it. :)

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