Ohio: Gentleman crashes stolen truck into adult store, steals $800 sex toy

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44 Responses to “Ohio: Gentleman crashes stolen truck into adult store, steals $800 sex toy”

  1. jarmstrong says:

    Harry Boomer reporting. (eep!)

  2. Aaron Shorr says:

    thank you, harry boomer.

  3. Roy Trumbull says:

    I’ve been expecting that kind of a trick at a gun store.

  4. David Veinot says:

    Dude should have stayed with his Big Bird doll.

  5. MrEricSir says:

    Wasn’t this on Failblog a year or so ago?  Or does this just happen all the time?

  6. snagglepuss says:

    YOU CAIN’T STOP TROO LUVV!

  7. Shai_Hulud says:

    them csi gotta uv the insides of the semi for “samples”.

  8. Pope Ratzo says:

    Don’t leave out the fact that the “gentleman” who crashed his truck into the XXX video store and stole stuff happens TO BE THE GOVERNOR OF OHIO.

  9. markusfoliage says:

    quoth the raven, “Someone drop a dime on this fool.”

  10. seyo says:

    pics or it didn’t happen.

  11. vonbobo says:

    Words used to describe the perp:
    sex-crazed loser
    sexual deviant
    freak
    pervert
    sticky-fingered perv

    Iowa: judging others and doln’ it for procreation only! Ohhhhhhhh yeah!

  12. I came here to watch a truck smash into a building, and this post fails to deliver. I’m not dropping any dimes.

  13. Jack_Spellman says:

    People, didn’t you hear? The mirror was almost knocked off the truck!

    Won’t someone think of the mirrors?

  14. Let’s see.

    The reporter is Harry Boomer.

    The story is literally titled “Sex-Drive.”

    They repeatedly call him some variation of “freak.”

    The sex toy is described as a “MORE sexually explicit mannequin.”

    This is the second time the same store has been robbed in the same manner for a similar item, yet police believe the incidents are unrelated.

    The “pervert” got away on foot.

    Harry Boomer signs off asking us to “Drop a dime on this fool.”

    In summation, this is the greatest piece of reporting ever.

  15. RevelryByNight says:

    $800? Was it a Sybian? I’d be inclined to crash my car for one of those.  Or, I suppose, if I was using one of those, I’d likely crash my car.

  16. Hey vonbobo, Ohio /= Iowa

  17. blueelm says:

    Hmmm…. I’m thinking the sex drive is not such a big component as the meth maybe?

  18. Guest says:

    Drat the compulsion of craven curiosity!  Didn’t want to know, had to read it anyway.

  19. millie fink says:

    Sex sex sex! 

    We’ve got the SEXY news on THIS station. BABY!!

  20. CaptainK says:

    Local authorities have issued an APB and are looking for a male with a contented look on his face. In this economy very few have been detained.

  21. urbanspaceman says:

    The above story is merely a sensationalistic story about a rather dumb shoplifter. This one’s downright scary (and I mean that literally):

    http://www.reuters.com/article/video/idUSSP10422420070718?videoId=60975

    • blueelm says:

      I don’t know how scary that is. Having been a human being who was treated much as a doll, I kind of hope more of  these people find what they want in plastic instead of torturing real humans into doll-like submission or death?

  22. Cowicide says:

    Sex-crazed loser?  Who now has a $800 sex toy?
    Sounds like a sex-crazed winner to me.

  23. Mark Leaman says:

    He wasn’t screwing around?

  24. Moog says:

    Could somebody give me some examples of sex toys that cost $800? With that sort of money, you could get your rocks off and go away for the weekend, too.

  25. Moog says:

    No offense, blueelm.

  26. Little John says:

    Waiting for BB post: Gentleman crashes stolen sex toy into adult store, steals $80000 truck.

    And while I’m here, where do these “reporters” get off (har!) calling this guy a “creep with a dangerous sex drive”, a “highly sexed man”, a “sexual deviant”, a “pervert”, etc., when they themselves report that the doll was gone when the cops found the guy (who got away and is  unidentified) still in the truck. Could it not be that this “freak” is actually just a thief? He went right for the expensive item and got rid of it (maybe sold it through a fence; HAR!). Are people who break in to jewelry stores to steal diamond necklaces freaky transvestites? Are the thieves who steal cases (or truckloads) of cigarettes just nicotine addicts?

    I hope the cops are smarter than these reporters.
     

  27. Snig says:

    I think it was an inside job, and the “doll” was just using him to make her escape.  How else do you explain that they made their separate escape?  She had him provide her a pair of pants and a mannequin top half and she’s instantly anonymous.  She ditched him, took of in his car and left him for the cops.  Poor sap.  He had such dreams.

  28. Nickel says:

    Nothing’s gonna stop us now, Kim Cattrall

  29. “MORE sexually explicit mannequin” and the $800 price tag sounds like a Real Doll.

  30. jimmersd says:

    And what exactly makes this person a ‘Gentleman’?

  31. Lobster says:

    How well does an $800 sex toy sell at B&M?  That’s a lot of cash to carry, so one has to assume it’s going to show up on a credit card statement, and either way it’s a LOT to spend on a toy.

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