Ohio: Gentleman crashes stolen truck into adult store, steals $800 sex toy

"Police are looking for the sex-crazed loser who crashed a stolen semi-truck into an adult store early Monday morning, and swiped a very expensive XXX toy." Full news report, such as it is, with video.

Thank you, Ohio, for ensuring we never run out of "gentleman" material at Boing Boing. (via Steve Silberman)

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.

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jarmstrong

Harry Boomer reporting. (eep!)
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1074924055 Aaron Shorr

thank you, harry boomer.
Roy Trumbull

I’ve been expecting that kind of a trick at a gun store.
David Veinot

Dude should have stayed with his Big Bird doll.
- http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefan_e_jones/ Stefan Jones
  
  Dude should have stayed with his Big Bird doll.
  
  Ugnhgh. Thanks for putting that image in my head.
  
  Oh, great, now I’m picturing a Snuffleupagus doll. Do you see what you’ve done?
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeknVqdDAGA
http://www.mrericsir.com MrEricSir

Wasn’t this on Failblog a year or so ago? Or does this just happen all the time?
snagglepuss

YOU CAIN’T STOP TROO LUVV!
Shai_Hulud

them csi gotta uv the insides of the semi for “samples”.
Pope Ratzo

Don’t leave out the fact that the “gentleman” who crashed his truck into the XXX video store and stole stuff happens TO BE THE GOVERNOR OF OHIO.
markusfoliage

quoth the raven, “Someone drop a dime on this fool.”
seyo

pics or it didn’t happen.
vonbobo

Words used to describe the perp:
sex-crazed loser
sexual deviant
freak
pervert
sticky-fingered perv

Iowa: judging others and doln’ it for procreation only! Ohhhhhhhh yeah!
- vonbobo
  
  Or
  
  Iowa: keepin’ it missionary in the Bible Belt is soo sexy.
- doomcake
  
  It’s in Ohio
  /is from Iowa
- doomcake
  
  Not Iowa, this happened in Idaho
http://twitter.com/alanjcastonguay Alan J Castonguay

I came here to watch a truck smash into a building, and this post fails to deliver. I’m not dropping any dimes.
Jack_Spellman

People, didn’t you hear? The mirror was almost knocked off the truck!

Won’t someone think of the mirrors?
http://twitter.com/mburchett Mike Burchett

Let’s see.

The reporter is Harry Boomer.

The story is literally titled “Sex-Drive.”

They repeatedly call him some variation of “freak.”

The sex toy is described as a “MORE sexually explicit mannequin.”

This is the second time the same store has been robbed in the same manner for a similar item, yet police believe the incidents are unrelated.

The “pervert” got away on foot.

Harry Boomer signs off asking us to “Drop a dime on this fool.”

In summation, this is the greatest piece of reporting ever.
RevelryByNight

$800? Was it a Sybian? I’d be inclined to crash my car for one of those. Or, I suppose, if I was using one of those, I’d likely crash my car.
http://www.facebook.com/dawalleser David A Walleser

Hey vonbobo, Ohio /= Iowa
blueelm

Hmmm…. I’m thinking the sex drive is not such a big component as the meth maybe?
Guest

Drat the compulsion of craven curiosity! Didn’t want to know, had to read it anyway.
millie fink

Sex sex sex!

We’ve got the SEXY news on THIS station. BABY!!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MV2AJ6TTUFXGAXGCIS76NYAYCU CaptainK

Local authorities have issued an APB and are looking for a male with a contented look on his face. In this economy very few have been detained.
urbanspaceman

The above story is merely a sensationalistic story about a rather dumb shoplifter. This one’s downright scary (and I mean that literally):

http://www.reuters.com/article/video/idUSSP10422420070718?videoId=60975
- blueelm
  
  I don’t know how scary that is. Having been a human being who was treated much as a doll, I kind of hope more of these people find what they want in plastic instead of torturing real humans into doll-like submission or death?
Cowicide

Sex-crazed loser? Who now has a $800 sex toy?
Sounds like a sex-crazed winner to me.
- Guest
  
  :P
http://merrymeetinggames.com Mark Leaman

He wasn’t screwing around?
- http://www.somelovemusic.com/ Tuff Luke
  
  seriously.
  
  there are like 30 innuendos in this.
  
  awesome.
  - slumlord0
    
    it was so early, i almost missed “screwing around”
Moog

Could somebody give me some examples of sex toys that cost $800? With that sort of money, you could get your rocks off and go away for the weekend, too.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Could somebody give me some examples of sex toys that cost $800?
  
  Knock yourself out. NSFW I recommend that you start with fucking machines.
  - urpBurp
    
    “I recommend that you start with fucking machines.”
    
    Famous last words…
Moog

No offense, blueelm.
Little John

Waiting for BB post: Gentleman crashes stolen sex toy into adult store, steals $80000 truck.

And while I’m here, where do these “reporters” get off (har!) calling this guy a “creep with a dangerous sex drive”, a “highly sexed man”, a “sexual deviant”, a “pervert”, etc., when they themselves report that the doll was gone when the cops found the guy (who got away and is unidentified) still in the truck. Could it not be that this “freak” is actually just a thief? He went right for the expensive item and got rid of it (maybe sold it through a fence; HAR!). Are people who break in to jewelry stores to steal diamond necklaces freaky transvestites? Are the thieves who steal cases (or truckloads) of cigarettes just nicotine addicts?

I hope the cops are smarter than these reporters.
Snig

I think it was an inside job, and the “doll” was just using him to make her escape. How else do you explain that they made their separate escape? She had him provide her a pair of pants and a mannequin top half and she’s instantly anonymous. She ditched him, took of in his car and left him for the cops. Poor sap. He had such dreams.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_M5DHVJ2S7WRS7NNC3XGPG56TOM Nickel

Nothing’s gonna stop us now, Kim Cattrall
- http://carrierlost.com/ Tonweight
  
  Oof. Wow. I thought I’d forgotten about that movie. Damn.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1287366144 Matt Thompson

“MORE sexually explicit mannequin” and the $800 price tag sounds like a Real Doll.
- http://carrierlost.com/ Tonweight
  
  Nah… those are more like $5000; unless there’s a price-drop of which I’m (blissfully?) unaware.
jimmersd

And what exactly makes this person a ‘Gentleman’?
Lobster

How well does an $800 sex toy sell at B&M? That’s a lot of cash to carry, so one has to assume it’s going to show up on a credit card statement, and either way it’s a LOT to spend on a toy.