The Culinary Notebooks of Leonardo "Fat Boy" Da Vinci

(Clarification/update: Some have read this post and missed the fact that it is a joke. It is, indeed, a joke.)

Michelle Legro in Lapham's Quarterly on the culinary-themed writings, sketches, and opinions of Leonardo da Vinci, who was known as "fat boy" when he was a pastry-snarfing 17-year-old kitchen apprentice.

Five hundred years before Modernist Cuisine’s exhaustive look at molecular gastronomy, The Kitchen Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci envisioned a culinary world as studio and laboratory, where food was to be prepared efficiently, beautifully, and ingeniously. Unfortunately, Italian food of the late fifteenth century had less to do with the luxurious feats of Ancient Rome and more to do with the rustic tastes of the Goths, whose dishes included meats and birds for those who could afford it, and an endless parade of porridge and gruel for those who could not. Leonardo was horrified by much of the food that was served to him, both at court and at home, and he included in his notebooks a running list of dishes that he hated, but that is own servant insisted on serving him: jellied goat, hemp bread, white mosquito pudding, inedible turnips, and eel balls—which he notes, “this dish if eaten often can cause madness.”

The notebooks, which include a history of Leonardo’s tenure as chef at the Sforza court, is primarily a collection of recipes (cabbage jam, snail soup), wayward thoughts (“Would porridge balls in gold-leaf attract My Lord’s attention?”), dining etiquette (“On the Unseemly Behaviors at My Lord’s Table”), household tips, (“On Ridding your Kitchens of Pestilential Flies”), and household inventions (“The Machines I Have Yet to Design for my Kitchen”).

And from da Vinci's writings on table etiquette, it sounds like people back then were real slobs:

He should not place his head upon his plate to eat.
Neither should he sit beneath the table for any length of time.
He should not place unpleasing or half-chewed pieces of his own food upon his neighbor’s plate without first asking him.
He should not wipe his knife upon his neighbor’s clothing.
Nor use his knife to carve upon the table...
He should not set loose birds upon the table.
Not snakes nor beetles...
And if he is to vomit then he leaves the table.
Likewise if he is to urinate.

Did you know that late in life, da Vinci became a vegetarian? Alta Cucina notes that the book reveals this, and that it was "A really strange decision and condemnable lifestyle in Renaissance Italy, where meats were largely consumed."

More: Top Chef, Old Master | Lapham’s Quarterly.

You can buy the book here.

(via @austinflack)

• [Nicky G]

  Something tells me that this is an example of what we refer to as “humor” in the present era.

• [CharredBarn]

  I’ve been looking for a link to a good White Mosquito Pudding recipe. Thanks, X!

• [eyebeam]

  Just don’t look it up on Urban Dictionary…

• [Guest]

  When I think of what corporations must state on their product labels to keep from being sued…

  I didn’t know porridges had balls…or eels either.

• [BillGlover]

  “Jellied Goat” may be the best band name ever.

  • [Their feldspars]

    Better than “Mosquito Pudding?” Not so sure about that.

    • [hitchcockblonde]

      What do you mean? Eel Balls wins it!

• [zish]

  That picture of him looks like the Sad Old Woman from “Who Needs Donuts?”.

• [xenphilos]

  “this dish if eaten often can cause madness.” Sums up my experience with Taco Bell.

• [tyger11]

  I’m pretty sure the artist intials on that first sketch are ‘LCF’.

  • [Robert Baruch]

    That was the missing tenth engraving, whose secret meaning was “to eat at the worst restaurant of all time”.

  • [miasm]

    …and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen him holding a ladle in this picture before.

• [jpgsawyer]

  I recommend caution here as there is very little evidence that the supposed Leonardo Kitchen Codex are by him and certainly seem to be rather odd when compared with other culinary sources from the period.

  15th and 16th Century Italian Food is glorious so it seems very much at odds with everything else we know.

  • [MaxEmerika]

    I’m not discouraging your admirable skepticism, but the article does mention that the “glorious” food to which you refer was reserved for the higher-ups. The complaints listed in the notebook were in reference to what the lower-downs were being subjected to.

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  For those who find Leo too modern, there’s Le Ménagier de Paris from 1393. I’ve never found a better resource for degreasing wine.

• [Asdfasdf]

  Hopefully, the word “mosquito” as used here is the usage as a euphemism for pennyroyal.  Otherwise it’s just unthinkable.

• [Little John]

  Talk about learning new things! First Johnny Hart’s B.C. teaches me that clams got legs, then comes this from the post:
  

  eel balls

• [Machinehead]

  No jokes there. People were really “rude” back there if we compare them to our “modern” standards. Have a look at Norbert Elias The Civilizing Process, Vol.I. The History of Manners.

• [Michael Smith]

  inedible turnips

  Going overboard with gratuitous consumption if you are serving more than one turnip.

• [Profesor Franz]

  I thought everybody knew that this Leonardo’s kitchen notebook was only an editorial joke…

• [kringlebertfistyebuns]

  Comedian John Pinette has a great bit about turnips.  Short version: he agrees with Leonardo. 

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSlaPp-kB5Q