Mexico: Narco-pets, exotic animals owned by captured drug lords, are flooding zoos

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6 Responses to “Mexico: Narco-pets, exotic animals owned by captured drug lords, are flooding zoos”

  1. International Tractor says:

    Cocaine Sharkicle!

    • Sheryl says:

      Zoo life is certainly worse than life in the wild but it is life. Exactly how long do you think a declawed, defanged, big cat who was raised in captivity would survive? The options here are zoo or euthanasia.

      • ZooPuma says:

        Dear Sheryl,

        You’re forgetting some other options! See, as I lie on straw-covered concrete and count the various methods of euthanasia just as you humans count sheep, many of my big-cat brethren who are the guests of these “narco traffickers” are the envy of the puma diaspora.

        For instance, while I am in my enclosure being fed tranquilizer-laced soy pellets, these “yayo lions” are busy deciding whether to continue taking in the view from their palatial narco-villa, or if they should amble on down to the holding cells and dine on some police informant, rival businessman, or blogger.

        Also, Sheryl, I should mention that I am neither declawed nor defanged? I mean, who would pay to see a defanged puma? It’s all about the fangs, Sheryl.

        So, until the synthetic animal rug market really takes off (option 3), do me a favor and imagine staying in your living room for 6 straight years, shitting on your rug as pumas wandered your hallway thinking about what a fascinating species you are. That’s where I live, Sheryl, fangs, claws and all. What were the first two options again?

        “Life goes on, long after the thrill of livin’ is gone” – John Cougar Mellencamp 

        Warm Regards, 
         
        Zoo Puma

  2. jtegnell says:

    Just add this to the list of reasons why drug prohibition isn’t working.

  3. jay sanchez says:

    aaaand.. those are the lucky ones, many others are left on abandoned narco-villas/manors to die of starvation, seen it a few times already and there isnt much people can do when the army is guarding the building in question.

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