Insane tabloid headline about little person porn star killed by animal

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35 Responses to “Insane tabloid headline about little person porn star killed by animal”

  1. Ambiguity says:

    This is the kind of thing that makes we want to abandon my previous life and become a journalist.

    They obviously have a lot more fun than I do.

  2. Simon Cohen says:

    Clearly this is why PETA is launching a porn site. http://sync.sympatico.ca/news/peta_to_launch_porn_site_in_name_of_animal_rights/d3d7e527

  3. Ernesto says:

    Now, that’s an exquisite corpse.

  4. CSBD says:

    Has anyone figured out if he just wandered into some random badger hole/den or was his corpse placed there in an attempt to dispose of evidence?

    I know that the pr0n industry is not the safest to work in, but I have never heard of a “star” becoming badger poodoo.

  5. dr.hypercube says:

    I like “Gordon Ramsay’s dwarf porn double Percy Foster dies in badger den” as well.

  6. Lobster says:

    I think Gordon Ramsay would have served him to the badger with mushrooms (mushroom).

  7. monkey_pirate says:

    Those badgers don’t care.

    Those badgers don’t give a shit.

  8. awjt says:

    Honey Badger +1, Scandinavian Little People 0

  9. Isn’t it nice

    Sugar and spice

    Luring disco dollies

    To a life of vice

    I could make a film

    And make you my star

    You’d be a natural

    The way you arehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlB77vM2FMg
     

  10. Jaime says:

    How is “little person” an adjective? I understand the PC thing behind it, but “Little person porn star” just sounds awful… why not just go with “little porn star”?

    • Lobster says:

      That could be anyone.  Who hasn’t starred in a little porn?

    • ookluh says:

      little porn star person?

    • SamSam says:

      Hmmm… at first blush, it seems like blind search-and-replace mentality, swapping the adjective “dwarf” for the non-adjective “little person.”

      But thinking about it more, I think it can be an adjective, in the same way that the not-normally-an-adjective “boy” can be used in the phrase “boy genius” (or “boy porn star”). It’s a genius (or porn star) who’s a boy.

      Similarly, you could refer to a “frog footman” (here), a “vampire porn star,” a “robot manservant” etc.

      There may be better ways to say it in prose, but headline grammar isn’t always completely logical anyway.

  11. lknope says:

    That’s nasty!

  12. Jenonymous says:

    Buncha things.
     
    First of all, LOTS of great headlines today, all so weird that all I can say is “Jesus, this shit posts/writes iteself some days.”
     
    Secondly:  Incipient, I LOVE YOU for the “Sex Dwarf” link.  It takes me back to the days in the 80′s when late night TV would actually show videos like this. Anyone else remember “Night Flight??’
     
    Thirdly–did anyone actually verify this story?
     
    Fourth–Thank you Intertubes for the “Badger Badger Badger…Mushroom” and “Honey Badger” refs.
     
    When aliens dig up our hard drive a billion years from now they will be very confused…

  13. Robert Cruickshank says:

    Working as a mini version of someone seems to be a hazardous career:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Parkita

  14. Finnagain says:

    This is what’s wrong with journalism today. You never hear about the good stories, like when a midget devours a badger, for example.

  15. Dan Lazin says:

    As the Gawker comments thread on this story notes,

    1) The Sunday Sport just plain makes things up, on the level of the National Enquirer or the Onion.

    2) Neither the supposed victim (Percy Foster) nor the adult film producer quoted in the story (Dexter Yamunkeh) was known to Google prior to the Sunday Sport’s first story about Foster (about a month ago).

    Insane tabloid headline? Certainly! True story: almost certainly not.

  16. Huwman says:

    Yep. This is right up there with the Weekly World News classic, “Two-Headed Woman Pregnant. One Head wants a Boy, One Head wants a Girl”.

  17. Joe McNally says:

    Would it be rotten to point out that this is from a newspaper with decades of previous form when it comes to inventing stories, and that rather unusually for a porn star, there appear to be no references whatsoever to Mr Foster online which predate his earlier appearance in the Sport?

  18. virtual human says:

    Bollocks!

  19. Alexandros says:

    The title of the porn movie still cracks me up.
    “Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It’s Up Your Arse We Go”???
    F*cking brilliant!

  20. Frank Diekman says:

    As Gordon Ramsey would say: Are they taking the piss? They  need a kick up their arse!

  21. Dolphin Bunnywolf says:

    Life imitates art, sort of. Look for the British movie “Death at a Funeral” for a vaguely similar fictional scenario.

  22. Les Hutchins says:

    My friend is a journalist and so rung up the Welsh police’s press officer to confirm the police report. The police had no idea what she was asking about and were highly confused. Alas, she does not make audio recordings of these conversations, as it’s one I’d dearly love to hear.

  23. I noticed this last week but the article I was pointed to had one of the greatest  sentences I’ve ever read:

    “According to as much Google research as we could feasibly do in the office without getting fired, celebrity-lookalike-dwarf-porn is the financial pinnacle of adult dwarf entertainment and Foster was set to strike it rich.”

  24. backyardfoundry says:

    Who would be the equivalently hilarious female version?

    Rachel Ray Sex Dwarf…
    Paula Deen Sex Dwarf…
    Giada de Laurentiis Sex Dwarf…

  25. Gavin Willow says:

    I think that headline only narrowly beats “I kicked burning terrorist so hard in balls I tore a tendon in my foot.”

  26. Whenever you see a headline that makes you think “They couldn’t make it up” whilst mistaking it for news, you’ll find they DID make it up, and it was made up at the Sunday/Daily Sport.
    WWII Bomber Found on the Moon?  London Double-Decker bus found in Antarctic Ice?  

    Here on Airstrip One we can invent anything we like and call it the truth.  The current story, proposed by our Prime Minister, is that we are all in this recession together, that’s really insane:

    http://iconicphotos.wordpress.com/2010/03/14/the-bullingdon-club/

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