Mystery hit-and-run enema

A visually impaired man who'd recently undergone intestinal surgery answered the door to find a woman who announced that she was there to give him an enema. He complied, but later felt that there was something suspicious about the proceeding, so he called his doctor, who confirmed that no enema had been ordered in his case. His visual impairment is severe enough that he can't describe his assailant.

A day later, on Monday, the enema recipient began wondering about what had happened to him but took no action. By Tuesday, he felt compelled to shed some light on the experience, so he contacted police. An investigating officer promptly called the man's doctor and was told no enema had been prescribed, ordered or approved.
Sonoma police turned the case over to the domestic and sexual assault unit of the Sonoma Sheriff's Office who have yet to make sense of the caper.

(via Lowering the Bar)

The strange case of the mystery enema [sonomanews.com]

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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Brainspore

Intestinal surgery is not fun. Pulling a stunt like that isn’t just creepy, it could have been life-threatening.

Also, shouldn’t that be “s**t-and-run”?
jowlsey

Cory, I think you’re missing a surgery in this one. Why not fix it and then delete this?
Chevan

My first guess was this was a cover for someone else rifling through his stuff for valuables.
http://twitter.com/Listener43 Listener43

I’m fairly certain the cops will get her in the end.
- Mockiovelli
  
  Yeah, I hope they get to the bottom of this.
http://www.paradea.org/notes/ Teirhan

This is super creepy.
http://twitter.com/blindeschildpad Blinde Schildpad

Paging John Keel.
dcsiszer

I hope your first guess is correct, any other explanation would be disturbing
Tyler Roy-Hart

just another Frank Zappa fan, I think

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uRvR2oF3FQ
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefan_e_jones/ Stefan Jones

The truth will be flushed out eventually.
Nathan Villaescusa

Sounds almost exactly like the plot of Nip/Tuck S5E4 where “The Stooler sexually violates patients by posing as a proctologist.” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1058356/
StAlfongzo

Ohh! The Illinois Enema Bandit!

Paging Michael Kenyon!
beemoh

Christ, what an asshole.
Guest

There are worse ways of being cleaned out.

Jokes aside, I would be interested to know if/how she knew he had had intestinal surgery. Just an odd kwinky-dink?
- Dewi Morgan
  
  I too was wondering how she could have known he’d had the surgery. Then it hit me…
  
  It was an inside job.
Huwman

It could just be an honest mistake. Sometimes that happens when people are getting a little behind in their work.
Andy Simmons

Presuming that the enema was seen to completion, wouldn’t that more accurately be described as a “shit-and-run”?
Palomino

“Intestinal” = Ambiguous.
Intestinal is can be and is defined as the open system between the mouth and anus, sometimes refereed to as the alimentary canal.

“Surgery” = Ambiguous
Major. Minor. Surgery refers only to physically altering any tissues of the body, it doesn’t have to be internal.

“His Doctor” = Ambiguous
The surgeon? The attending? The ordering? The surgery center? The anesthesiologist? His P.C.P,? His G.I.?

‘Enema” = Ambiguous
Based on the time period, it was a simple and harmless Fleet.

I believe this was probably for some type of minor surgery that required some form of enema. Since the patient is blind, a visiting nurse was ordered. I believe someone got the date wrong and the nurse showed up on the wrong day. And, if it was “obvious” that he had surgery, she probably would have said, “Oh, I see you’ve already had the surgery, never mind”. And Sunday makes sense too, if the date was incorrect and set for Monday.

More info please.
InsertFingerHere

If yer into that sorta shit, I would imagine this is like winning the lotto.
Palomino

So can we all agree and call this a “Fleeting Enema”?
frankieboy

with enemas like that who needs friends?
keep your friends close, but your enemas closer?
frenemies?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZH5LQHHJPERMWNVHCR2Y5GRHHE Jose

On the Sonoma Sheriff’s Most Wanted List, this woman is now Public Enema #1.
Alan Olsen

Prediction: This will be made into a movie for Lifetime called “Enema Mine”.
SamSam

Folks, it’s not necessary to turn this incident into the butt of your jokes…
http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb

His visual impairment is so bad, he didn’t notice the camera. Film at 11.
http://twitter.com/CamilloMiller Camillo Miller

The “Sonoma Enema”. Listen to it. How it sounds in your mouth. You can’t make that up.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefan_e_jones/ Stefan Jones

The untold story: The victim’s next-door neighbor wondering why the always-reliable Home Enema Service lady didn’t make her appointment.
moioci

Sounds like the Candygram people have joined the race to the bottom.
sam1148

Came for Zappa references, leaving satisfied.
KBert

Mysterious enemas, toe suckers, I give up…
Charlie B

SanDeE*: So, what do you think?

Harris: I think it was a total washout.

SanDeE*: God, it really clears out your head.

Harris: Head? Head? You should go back in there and tell them they’re doing it wrong. Well, it was a great lunch and enema, thanks.
BBNinja

@Huwman: Lol, best comment so far :P
equilibrist

Came here to say this: Michelle Kenyon
Romeo Vitelli

Are we sure this story isn’t a hoax? I’m finding it hard to believe that anyone, visually impaired or not, would allow a perfect stranger to administer an enema without asking some pointed questions about who sent her.
http://www.ucd.ie/mecheng/staff_pages/carr_alun.html ajcarr

Sounds like a Zappa fan who got rather obsessed with the Illinois Enema Bandit song.
voiceinthedistance

At least the door to door prostate exam people take up less of your valuable time. I rarely find it worth the effort to argue with them, and it’s over and they are on their way in a minute or less. This is a whole other matter. Normally, the ends justify the memes, but not in this case.
rattypilgrim

This is a mystery wrapped in an enema.
0liv

…can’t describe his ass-ailant?
Culturedropout

Perfectly lovely _without_ pictures.
Guest

Whoa… interesting.
anderalert

Who goes there? Friend or enema?!
niktemadur

This being in a hospital, a super-specific paraphilia popped to mind: barium enemas.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_Z2PCUJLFNNZNVRIBXBER67IBTI petr

that’s like the guy in Canada a couple years back going door to door offering a free breast examination. And a number of women complied. He was eventually caught. Though I think the fact that he offered to do it absolutely free should have raised suspicions.