Advice for a person contemplating rectal insertion of the world's hottest pepper

An unwise individual has made a wager that involves inserting a cotton bud soaked in the world's hottest pepper into his rectum. He has asked Reddit how to minimize the harm that might arise as a consequence of this undertaking. Redditors have reacted with a perfect mixture of horror and fascination, as you might expect.

Above, video of a man consuming one of these peppers.

Out of the sheer morbid curiosity of it all, I did a bunch of research for you. Here's what I came up with; The anus is a very delicate piece of skin equipped with a fair amount of capsicum receptors. It is very easily irritated, and is rather unforgiving. There is a staggering amount of Capsicum in the Bhut Jolokia pepper http://www.livestrong.com/article/188934-the-dangers-of-bhut-jolokia/ in question, so I read the toxicity sheet http://npic.orst.edu/factsheets/Capsaicintech.pdf and found that in high enough doses it causes dermal lesions. We're talking big angry open sores...
Which brings me to my point. Why on earth would you risk damaging the only bit of skin and muscle that keeps you from pooping yourself on a daily basis for life?
You're better off tattooing a dick to your forehead, or streaking through a crowded mall, or something that doesn't directly affect the well being of your sphincter because buddy, if this goes horribly wrong it could haunt you forever... And really, honestly, nobody here wants you to wind up the Bhut of this Jolokia.

Reddit, as my end of a bet, tomorrow I need to put a Q-Tip of the world's hottest pepper in my ass for six seconds. Will it cause any serious heath problems, and how do I survive the ordeal? (self.AskReddit) [reddit.com]

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: health • reddit • Science • wager • Weird

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nixiebunny

I’m glad that Boing Boing is dealing with serious issues today.
- Bersl
  
  Tragedy tomorrow; comedy tonight.
tehsusenoh

I believe that this is relevant. http://i.gifreply.com/fp67y.gif
technobach

I came here expecting it to simply say “Don’t.”
Textuality

I grow these things… and I know from picking them then forgetting to wash my hands before using the toilet that YOU DO NOT WANT TO FUCK WITH THEM.

/crosses legs
Palomino

Should he at least perform a test first, like a drop in his eye?

I’m not kidding. I’ve done both, my eye and my anus. On accident though. I cut habs with bare hands. On more than one occasion I rubbed my eyes. On another I “wiped” and another occasion, masturbated. Yes, I’ve experienced a burning in my eye, ass, and scrotum, all without having VD.

And if I may say it first…..

“Analphylactic shock”.

Or the male version of Toxic Shock Syndrome.

Yeah, I know.
oasisob1

Wear protection. Be discreet. Profit.
Palomino

Wait, is this another Koi Assisted Birth piece of shit?
Donald Petersen

What a dumb-ass bet. Renege, pay an exorbitant cancellation fee, carry the mark of the Scarlet W, whatever. Pay off the bet with a used car. But don’t do something that will not only definitely hurt, but may cause some functional damage.

And stay in school.
- Palomino
  
  Or if he can find out some way to still do it but have the other person become more “involved”, if you know what I mean.
ToMajorTom

If this stunt has the possibility to render him sterile, I’ll just think of it as Darwinism and he may proceed with my blessing.
demidan

Posting to Darwin in 3,,,,2,,,,,1,,,,,.
xenphilos

The closest thing that guy will resemble while on the can is a space shuttle launch.
millie fink

Damn, that’s just . . . asinine.
ill lich

“Also, my next question, what is the best brand of colostomy bag on the market?”
http://twitter.com/cnieblapub Carlos Niebla

I’m positive: we really need UNICORNS NOW!
Antinous / Moderator

The obvious solution is to insert the hot Q-Tip without touching any tissue. The goatse guy could make a good living on bar bets from this.
- http://dreadpiraterobert.blogspot.com dreadpiraterobert
  
  How quickly can he get hold of a speculum?
- Sami Voodoobass
  
  this IS the goatse guy isn’t it? Look at his hands… HIS HANDS!
zartan74

What a dumb ass.
humanresource

Christ, what a painful asshole.
Mister44

Yeah – I never got why people eat hotter than hell peppers. I can see some heat, but there is a point where no one looks like they are having fun, its just dick waving bragging rights.
Palomino

I know this!

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)

~Homer decides to coat his mouth with melted wax, enabling him to eat several of the peppers, leaving Wiggum and the crowd astonished.~
Liz

Start with a milk enema.
- kringlebertfistyebuns
  
  Better yet, yog(h)urt. Or ice cream, perhaps…?
10xor01

Probably a better idea than eating one. At least this way you only experience the burn once!
http://twitter.com/james4765 Jim Nelson

Darwin award in the making, folks. I love Habaneros, but they’re a sparingly used spice. That little pepper right there could spice 20 gallons of chili. That bit he ate could do a huge pot.

Fucking hell – I ended up with blisters in my mouth from those Buffalo Wild Wings insanity-level hot wings. I can’t imagine rogering myself with one o.O
Will Traxler

Remember, when a coyote takes you on a spirit journey, do not, kick, the turtle.
Talia

As I understand it there are actually hotter peppers now, thanks to genetic engineering.
Not that that’s a good thing, it only serves to encourage humanity’s strange urge to do stupid stuff to make themselves look cool. :p
I myself am a bit of a spice fiend, having a whole jar of dried, powered bhut jolokia in my cabinet. Love it, but have NO desire to introduce any of it to my butt. :P

Oh, and here’s the obligatory ‘Guy eating a whole bhut jolokia pepper who’s barely phased at all’ link, because he’s awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaEjcY30wgY
- Smash Martian
  
  >As I understand it there are actually hotter peppers now, thanks to genetic engineering.
  
  Genetic engineering of a fairly basic sort, just selective breeding for heat.
  Incidentally, the guy you linked to sells seeds for Trinidad Scorpion
  “Butch T” and is the current record holder for chilli heat. I’ve got
  some Butch Ts from him growing in my garden at the moment.
  
  Frankly, they scare me. And I haven’t seen the neighbour’s cat in a few days either…
- CH
  
  I was going to post the same link. I love that guy’s videos!!! I’m definitely no chili head, I hate anything beyond mildly hot. But I don’t have to, I can watch his videos instead and feel like I know something about hot peppers.
  
  About the guy with the wager. As long as he himself is handling the insertion of the q-tip he should be ok. The sphincter muscle is the part to watch out for, really. Yeah, definitely go watch a few goatse videos first.
http://lectiblog.blogspot.com/ lecti

If Darwin had youtube back then, he’d have saved himself the trouble of sailing all the way to the Galapagos.
James Kelley

Oddly, I watched this same video organically yesterday because an episode of Man v. Food mentioned the Ghost pepper. Anyway, he didn’t insert anything rectally, he at a small piece of the innards of one of those peppers. Apparently they register over 1,000,000 on the Scoville (?) scale, making them more than three times hotter than habaneros.

The video can be seen here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tRq8ExAHzk
James Kelley

Sorry, I only read the description; I didn’t watch the video you posted. That’s the same one I watched yesterday.
CharredBarn

I don’t know who is asking about the risks of this stunt, or what his politics are, but if anyone should be denied publicly-subsidized health care he is that person.
http://www.mrericsir.com MrEricSir

Here’s a video about consuming the bhut jolokia orally.

(You have to sign a waiver before they’ll serve it to you.)
BarBarSeven

People seem not to understand they are actually BURNING THEIR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM when they do something like this.

While nowhere near as bad, I had a incident this week where I was cutting open a pepper—and gutting it—assuming it was a “normal” sweet pepper, when it was actually hot. I only realized this after I wiped my eyes and the redness was pretty clear. Had to give myself a Silkwood shower and lie down for a bit. Second time in my life I did something like that. It’s horrible. But to do it for fun. Seriously, just put your hand over a candle. Looks cooler and will still prove you are macho.

Oh, and here is a Silkwood shower .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V09AANnaGks
professor

Please let the inquiring individual be Rick Santorum!
http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch

Anyone remember GOOD IDEA BAD IDEA from Animaniacs?
- http://twitter.com/sqlrob Rob
  
  What’s the GOOD IDEA part of this?
http://profiles.google.com/tjoener Jan De Kock

Well, if the bet was “put one of these peppers up there”, go totally lame-ass.

Wrap it in a condom, and put it in. It’s in by my standards, and you just outsmarted your friends.

You take away the cash, and a working ass.
wibbled_pig

Fill your hole with a lot of vaseline first…
daemonsquire

I don’t know if everyone has this experience (and if it’s only me, won’t someone PLEASE tell me if there’s something I can do to fix it), but on the main BoingBoing page (and the main page of some other blogs I habituate as well, like The Awl), pretty much whenever a post includes an embedded YouTube video, the video shown belongs to some earlier post. So, the only way to see the pertinent video is to open a separate link to its specific post. That’s annoying, most times; but in this case, right below the title, “Advice for a person contemplating rectal insertion of the world’s hottest pepper”, was the video title/response, “Use a 2-liter bottle as a 50-watt light bulb”, and the freeze-frame shows a quote, “It’s great; the bathroom used to be very dark”.

I dunno. Everything about that sounds like it’d light up your bathroom experience.
- juepucta
  
  I have the same problem.
- stasike
  
  I have exactly the same problem – the video is always from some very old article. I use flashblock plugin, but it never caused the problem for me on other sites.
- Guest
  
  empty your cache?
  - daemonsquire
    
    It’s too late, now, to expect anyone to look at this thread again (unless, I guess, they’ve elected to be notified of replies–is that a thing you can do, here?), but anyway: I pressed the “Clear Recent History…” under the Tools item in the Firefox 7.0.1 menu bar, and selected “cache” and “cookies” from among the sorts of info one can erase. I don’t know if that’s what you mean by “empty your cache”. And, well, I just noticed that, having quit and restarted Firefox a couple of times in between doing the above, I still see (coincidentally?) the same 50-w light bulb video, now beside the story about “24 arrested at Citibank”. So, what I did, didn’t work, whether or not it’s what you meant.
    
    I noticed, however, that Chrome pulls up the correct video, on the main BB page… Hmmph–I’m loving this “Tab Group” feature on the new Firefox, and the TabMix Plus add-on. I guess I’m livin’ such a tab heavy life, that it shouldn’t perturb me to have to open and load yet another tab, just to watch an embedded video… Just the same: are there comparable add-on features for Chrome? ‘Cause it’d sure be easier to want to switch!
librtee_dot_com

I once unwittingly ate 3 habaneros straight, on an empty stomach. I bought them at the grocery store, and popped them in like cherry tomatoes while walking home chicago avenue towards western.

I made it about halfway, before I collapsed on the cold sidewalk, vomitting for about ten minutes.

I wasn’t able to move again for a half hour. I made it home though. What saved me was I had a couple bananas in my shopping to dilute the pain.

This guy should get out on a technicality. Just wrap the q-tip in a condom. Better a wimp than an invalid.

BTW, I hope I’m in physical shape like that guy when I reach his age…
http://devojane.blogspot.com devophill

This video could benefit from the application of the Wadsworth Constant.
http://twitter.com/rowanlubke rowan andré lubke

Femidom
awjt

What what? In the Bhut.
Paul Renault

Instead of drinking water or meditating, he should have gone for some yogurt, some raita, tzatziki, or some mango chutney…

Jeepers, this is well known…or so I thought.
Lobster

Ass full of capsaicin is no way to go through life.
http://twitter.com/cicadamania Cicada Mania

My advice… drop acid 45 minutes before the pepper goes in. Oh, and have a buddy blow a straw full of fire ants up your urethra.
- jimh
  
  After doing those things, maybe cap the night off by shining a laser at a police helicopter.
Ambiguity

My wife once cut up a bunch of hot poppers without wearing gloves (and these were just normal garden variety peppers available at the farmer’s market, not super-macho peppers).

She compared the pain, unfavorably, to childbirth.

The guy is definitely crazy.
pyster

if i am ever censored or banned for being over the top i will cite this post as evidence that i am not over the top :)

but, dealing with this issue seriously is impressive. I’m a pepper guy. I ate a ghost pepper and my friends stopped recording the even because it was boring. My seminal fluid has caused others great pain and I have been banned from hot food by some of my lovers in the past. I dont experience the pepper on the way out very often, and it’s always pretty mild. I’ve not considered getting my endorphin/pepper fix anally, mainly because i’m not not into ass play of any sort, but it is always an interesting concept. I wonder just how much it would hurt and if it would be worth the embarrassment of being that guy just to experience it.

I did know a guy in the early 90s who used to like to have hot pepper juice rubbed on his penis… having cut misc peppers and experiencing this i am not sure i understand him.

i also know a girl who’s bf accidentally capsicum inside her…
Kingazaz

So, I’ve eaten spicy foods and had, shall we say, unpleasant shits. I don’t even want to imagine the horror of this pepper working its way through my system, let alone going straight for my butt.

Nope!
jowlsey

That man has a seat belt mounted on his toilet.
Patrick McKinnion

“I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher

And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire”
hug h

Quite a few years ago I had very routine, minor surgery done on my “rectal area” as an outpatient. In spite of the local anesthetic the procedure was excruciatingly painful. Long after the pain had passed a nurse came in to check on me, asking sincerely- “how are you doing, are you ok?” In response I broke down and cried uncontrollably like a little bambino. Total blubbering breakdown.

Unfortunately the procedure had to be repeated about a year later. This time I insisted on going to the hospital and undergoing general anesthesia. Happily I have not had any related problems since.

I have a fairly high pain threshold. Never, ever ,EVER would I do what this person is considering- no way- no how!!!!!

(Don’t tell Dick Cheney or the CIA about this post)
Susan Carley Oliver

Yep, this happens to me occasionally as well. Closing and reopening my browser always resolves it.
rtresco

I like his friend in the video who labors under the belief that the cost of a bottle of tequila is proportional to it’s healing factor.
nom_de_guerre

Pretty much sums up my reaction while watching the press conference where the Portuguese PM announced the new austerity measures last night.
vonnegutlivesagain

The guy backed out: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lcig6/update_yesterday_i_asked_reddit_for_advice_on_how/
http://www.facebook.com/DamianDayton Damian Dayton

Here is one thing most probably haven’t considered because you normally think of taking capsaicinoids orally. Try washing /coating the area with dish soap which should help aggregate the lipids of the molecule, then wash afterwards with the same immediately afterwards.
pjcamp

Heh Heh. U sed bhutt.
Court Kizer

Just FYI, The strongest OC pepper spray on earth has 10% of this paper in it, watered down with alcohol. Would this person put pepper spray in there ass? Because that’s only 1/10 of what putting the world’s hottest pepper will do. Pepper spray is hell. Doing this stunt will 100% mean hospitalization, and there’s a strong possibility you will actually die from complications…
Dirk Bakker

So…? We’re two days later now. Did he survive?