Advice for a person contemplating rectal insertion of the world's hottest pepper

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69 Responses to “Advice for a person contemplating rectal insertion of the world's hottest pepper”

  1. nixiebunny says:

    I’m glad that Boing Boing is dealing with serious issues today.
     

  2. tehsusenoh says:

    I believe that this is relevant.  http://i.gifreply.com/fp67y.gif

  3. technobach says:

    I came here expecting it to simply say “Don’t.”

  4. Textuality says:

    I grow these things… and I know from picking them then forgetting to wash my hands before using the toilet that YOU DO NOT WANT TO FUCK WITH THEM.

    /crosses legs

  5. Palomino says:

    Should he at least perform a test first, like a drop in his eye? 

    I’m not kidding. I’ve done both, my eye and my anus. On accident though. I cut habs with bare hands. On more than one occasion I rubbed my eyes. On another I “wiped” and another occasion, masturbated. Yes, I’ve experienced a burning in my eye, ass, and scrotum, all without having VD. 

    And if I may say it first…..

    “Analphylactic shock”. 

    Or the male version of Toxic Shock Syndrome. 

    Yeah, I know. 

  6. oasisob1 says:

    Wear protection. Be discreet. Profit.

  7. Palomino says:

    Wait, is this another Koi Assisted Birth piece of shit?

  8. Donald Petersen says:

    What a dumb-ass bet.  Renege, pay an exorbitant cancellation fee, carry the mark of the Scarlet W, whatever.  Pay off the bet with a used car.  But don’t do something that will not only definitely hurt, but may cause some functional damage.

    And stay in school.

    • Palomino says:

      Or if he can find out some way to still do it but have the other person become more “involved”, if you know what I mean. 

  9. ToMajorTom says:

    If this stunt has the possibility to render him sterile, I’ll just think of it as Darwinism and he may proceed with my blessing.

  10. demidan says:

    Posting to Darwin in 3,,,,2,,,,,1,,,,,.

  11. xenphilos says:

    The closest thing that guy will resemble while on the can is a space shuttle launch.

  12. millie fink says:

    Damn, that’s just . . . asinine. 

  13. ill lich says:

    “Also, my next question, what is the best brand of colostomy bag on the market?”

  14. I’m positive: we really need UNICORNS NOW!

  15. Antinous / Moderator says:

    The obvious solution is to insert the hot Q-Tip without touching any tissue.  The goatse guy could make a good living on bar bets from this.

  16. zartan74 says:

    What a dumb ass.

  17. humanresource says:

    Christ, what a painful asshole.

  18. Mister44 says:

    Yeah – I never got why people eat hotter than hell peppers. I can see some heat, but there is a point where no one looks like they are having fun, its just dick waving bragging rights.

  19. Palomino says:

    I know this!

    El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)

    ~Homer decides to coat his mouth with melted wax, enabling him to eat several of the peppers, leaving Wiggum and the crowd astonished.~

  20. Liz says:

    Start with a milk enema.

  21. 10xor01 says:

    Probably a better idea than eating one.  At least this way you only experience the burn once!

  22. Jim Nelson says:

    Darwin award in the making, folks. I love Habaneros, but they’re a sparingly used spice. That little pepper right there could spice 20 gallons of chili. That bit he ate could do a huge pot.

    Fucking hell – I ended up with blisters in my mouth from those Buffalo Wild Wings insanity-level hot wings. I can’t imagine rogering myself with one o.O

  23. Will Traxler says:

    Remember, when a coyote takes you on a spirit journey, do not, kick, the turtle.

  24. Talia says:

    As I understand it there are actually hotter peppers now, thanks to genetic engineering.
    Not that that’s a good thing, it only serves to encourage humanity’s strange urge to do stupid stuff to make themselves look cool. :p
    I myself am a bit of a spice fiend, having a whole jar of dried, powered bhut jolokia in my cabinet. Love it, but have NO desire to introduce any of it to my butt. :P

    Oh, and here’s the obligatory ‘Guy eating a whole bhut jolokia pepper who’s barely phased at all’ link, because he’s awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaEjcY30wgY

    • Smash Martian says:

      >As I understand it there are actually hotter peppers now, thanks to genetic engineering.

      Genetic engineering of a fairly basic sort, just selective breeding for heat.
      Incidentally, the guy you linked to sells seeds for Trinidad Scorpion
      “Butch T” and is  the current record holder for chilli heat. I’ve got
      some Butch Ts from him growing in my garden at the moment.

      Frankly, they scare me. And I haven’t seen the neighbour’s cat in a few days either…

    • CH says:

      I was going to post the same link. I love that guy’s videos!!! I’m definitely no chili head, I hate anything beyond mildly hot. But I don’t have to, I can watch his videos instead and feel like I know something about hot peppers.

      About the guy with the wager. As long as he himself is handling the insertion of the q-tip he should be ok. The sphincter muscle is the part to watch out for, really. Yeah, definitely go watch a few goatse videos first.

  25. lecti says:

    If Darwin had youtube back then, he’d have saved himself the trouble of sailing all the way to the Galapagos.

  26. James Kelley says:

    Oddly, I watched this same video organically yesterday because an episode of Man v. Food mentioned the Ghost pepper.  Anyway, he didn’t insert anything rectally, he at a small piece of the innards of one of those peppers.  Apparently they register over 1,000,000 on the Scoville (?) scale, making them more than three times hotter than habaneros.

    The video can be seen here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tRq8ExAHzk

  27. James Kelley says:

    Sorry, I only read the description; I didn’t watch the video you posted.  That’s the same one I watched yesterday.

  28. CharredBarn says:

    I don’t know who is asking about the risks of this stunt, or what his politics are, but if anyone should be denied publicly-subsidized health care he is that person.

  29. MrEricSir says:

    Here’s a video about consuming the bhut jolokia orally.

    (You have to sign a waiver before they’ll serve it to you.)

  30. BarBarSeven says:

    People seem not to understand they are actually BURNING THEIR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM when they do something like this.

    While nowhere near as bad, I had a incident this week where I was cutting open a pepper—and gutting it—assuming it was a “normal” sweet pepper, when it was actually hot. I only realized this after I wiped my eyes and the redness was pretty clear.  Had to give myself a Silkwood shower and lie down for a bit.  Second time in my life I did something like that. It’s horrible.  But to do it for fun.  Seriously, just put your hand over a candle. Looks cooler and will still prove you are macho.

    Oh, and here is a Silkwood shower .
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V09AANnaGks

  31. professor says:

    Please let the inquiring individual be Rick Santorum!

  32. Anyone remember GOOD IDEA BAD IDEA from Animaniacs?

  33. Jan De Kock says:

    Well, if the bet was “put one of these peppers up there”, go totally lame-ass.

    Wrap it in a condom, and put it in. It’s in by my standards, and you just outsmarted your friends.

    You take away the cash, and a working ass.

  34. wibbled_pig says:

    Fill your hole with a lot of vaseline first…

  35. daemonsquire says:

    I don’t know if everyone has this experience (and if it’s only me, won’t someone PLEASE tell me if there’s something I can do to fix it), but on the main BoingBoing page (and the main page of some other blogs I habituate as well, like The Awl), pretty much whenever a post includes an embedded YouTube video, the video shown belongs to some earlier post.  So, the only way to see the pertinent video is to open a separate link to its specific post.  That’s annoying, most times; but in this case, right below the title, “Advice for a person contemplating rectal insertion of the world’s hottest pepper”, was the video title/response, “Use a 2-liter bottle as a 50-watt light bulb”, and the freeze-frame shows a quote, “It’s great; the bathroom used to be very dark”.

    I dunno.  Everything about that sounds like it’d light up your bathroom experience.

    • juepucta says:

      I have the same problem. 

    • stasike says:

      I have exactly the same problem – the video is always from some very old article. I use flashblock plugin, but it never caused the problem for me on other sites.

    • Guest says:

      empty your cache?

      • daemonsquire says:

        It’s too late, now, to expect anyone to look at this thread again (unless, I guess, they’ve elected to be notified of replies–is that a thing you can do, here?), but anyway: I pressed the “Clear Recent History…” under the Tools item in the Firefox 7.0.1 menu bar, and selected “cache” and “cookies” from among the sorts of info one can erase.  I don’t know if that’s what you mean by “empty your cache”.  And, well, I just noticed that, having quit and restarted Firefox a couple of times in between doing the above, I still see (coincidentally?) the same 50-w light bulb video, now beside the story about “24 arrested at Citibank”.  So, what I did, didn’t work, whether or not it’s what you meant.

        I noticed, however, that Chrome pulls up the correct video, on the main BB page…  Hmmph–I’m loving this “Tab Group” feature on the new Firefox, and the TabMix Plus add-on.  I guess I’m livin’ such a tab heavy life, that it shouldn’t perturb me to have to open and load yet another tab, just to watch an embedded video…  Just the same: are there comparable add-on features for Chrome?  ‘Cause it’d sure be easier to want to switch!

  36. librtee_dot_com says:

    I once unwittingly ate 3 habaneros straight, on an empty stomach. I bought them at the grocery store, and popped them in like cherry tomatoes while walking home chicago avenue towards western.

    I made it about halfway, before I collapsed on the cold sidewalk, vomitting for about ten minutes.

    I wasn’t able to move again for a half hour. I made it home though. What saved me was I had a couple bananas in my shopping to dilute the pain.

    This guy should get out on a technicality. Just wrap the q-tip in a condom. Better a wimp than an invalid.

    BTW, I hope I’m in physical shape like that guy when I reach his age…

  37. devophill says:

    This video could benefit from the application of the Wadsworth Constant.

  38. awjt says:

    What what? In the Bhut.

  39. Paul Renault says:

    Instead of drinking water or meditating, he should have gone for some yogurt, some raita, tzatziki, or some mango chutney…

    Jeepers, this is well known…or so I thought. 

  40. Lobster says:

    Ass full of capsaicin is no way to go through life.

  41. Cicada Mania says:

    My advice… drop acid 45 minutes before the pepper goes in. Oh, and have a buddy blow a straw full of fire ants up your urethra.

  42. Ambiguity says:

    My wife once cut up a bunch of hot poppers without wearing gloves (and these were just normal garden variety peppers available at the farmer’s market, not super-macho  peppers).

    She compared the pain, unfavorably, to childbirth.

    The guy is definitely crazy.

  43. pyster says:

    if i am ever censored or banned for being over the top i will cite this post as evidence that i am not over the top :)

    but, dealing with this issue seriously is impressive. I’m a pepper guy. I ate a ghost pepper and my friends stopped recording the even because it was boring. My seminal fluid has caused others great pain and I have been banned from hot food by some of my lovers in the past. I dont experience the pepper on the way out very often, and it’s always pretty mild. I’ve not considered getting my endorphin/pepper fix anally, mainly because i’m not not into ass play of any sort, but it is always an interesting concept. I wonder just how much it would hurt and if it would be worth the embarrassment of being that guy just to experience it.

    I did know a guy in the early 90s who used to like to have hot pepper juice rubbed on his penis… having cut misc peppers and experiencing this i am not sure i understand him.

    i also know a girl who’s bf accidentally capsicum inside her…

  44. Kingazaz says:

    So, I’ve eaten spicy foods and had, shall we say, unpleasant shits. I don’t even want to imagine the horror of this pepper working its way through my system, let alone going straight for my butt.

    Nope!

  45. jowlsey says:

    That man has a seat belt mounted on his toilet.

  46. Patrick McKinnion says:

    “I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
    I Went Down, Down, Down
    And The Flames Went Higher

    And It Burns, Burns, Burns
    The Ring Of Fire
    The Ring Of Fire”

  47. hug h says:

    Quite a few years ago I had very routine, minor surgery done on my “rectal area” as an outpatient. In spite of the local anesthetic the procedure was excruciatingly painful.  Long after the pain had passed a nurse came in to check on me, asking sincerely- “how are you doing, are you ok?” In response I broke down and cried uncontrollably like a little bambino. Total blubbering breakdown.

    Unfortunately the procedure had to be repeated about a year later. This time I insisted on going to the hospital and undergoing general anesthesia. Happily I have not had any related problems since.

    I have a fairly high pain threshold. Never, ever ,EVER would I do what this person is considering- no way- no how!!!!!

    (Don’t tell Dick Cheney or the CIA about this post)

  48. Susan Carley Oliver says:

    Yep, this happens to me occasionally as well. Closing and reopening my browser always resolves it.

  49. rtresco says:

    I like his friend in the video who labors under the belief that the cost of a bottle of tequila is proportional to it’s healing factor.

  50. nom_de_guerre says:

    Pretty much sums up my reaction while watching the press conference where the Portuguese PM announced the new austerity measures last night.

  51. vonnegutlivesagain says:

    The guy backed out: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lcig6/update_yesterday_i_asked_reddit_for_advice_on_how/

  52. Here is one thing most probably haven’t considered because you normally think of taking capsaicinoids orally. Try washing /coating the area with dish soap which should help aggregate the lipids of the molecule, then wash afterwards with the same immediately afterwards.

  53. pjcamp says:

    Heh Heh. U sed bhutt.

  54. Court Kizer says:

    Just FYI, The strongest OC pepper spray on earth has 10% of this paper in it, watered down with alcohol. Would this person put pepper spray in there ass? Because that’s only 1/10 of what putting the world’s hottest pepper will do. Pepper spray is hell. Doing this stunt will 100% mean hospitalization, and there’s a strong possibility you will actually die from complications…

  55. Dirk Bakker says:

    So…? We’re two days later now. Did he survive?

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