Saddam Hussein "porn double" escapes violent gang of Egyptian porno kidnappers. For the second time.

Photo: Ahram Online.

Mohamed Bishr was minding his own business last Sunday, walking to a local cafe in the Egyptian city of Alexandria, when three black-suited guys grabbed him and shoved him in the back of a van. They kidnapped him and beat him, and planned to force him to perform in adult films because he looks like the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein.

"The three men, who had guns hanging from their belts, forced me out of my car and shoved me into a van, hitting my head," Bishr, a devout Muslim, told Ahram's Arabic portal from his hospital bed.

The incident was short but traumatic. Bishr said the last thing he remembers was the men yelling at each other, and then throwing him out of the van where he hit his face on the pavement.

Passers-by quickly gathered around but were too afraid to apprehend the apparently armed kidnappers.

Bishr's son, Mahmoud, said that his father had previously met with a group of unidentified people -- who spoke Arabic in an Iraqi or Syrian dialect -- and had been offered LE2 million pounds (US$333,000) to impersonate the late dictator in a pornographic video. Bishr refused.

Read the whole story, if you dare, at Ahram Online.

(thanks, Joe Sabia)

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  1. I don’t think it’s fair to label this poor guy a “porn double” if he never actually made any porn, willingly or otherwise. If his account is true he’s just a victim of attempted sexual assault who has repeatedly been put through hell because happens to look like a former dictator.

    1. THIS. Thank you, Brainspore. This is another example (albeit an unusual one, as usually the victims are female) of why porn is NOT a ‘victimless crime’. And, no, I am not kidding.

      1. Thank you, Brainspore. This is another example (albeit an unusual one, as usually the victims are female) of why porn is NOT a ‘victimless crime’.

        Well, I think that kind of depends on the porn in question. If my wife and I decided to make a sex tape (we won’t, thank you very much, but hypothetically) I think that would qualify as “victimless” unless you count any potential viewers. I thought the stripper/dominatrix/feminist/activist/lesbian/director of the documentary “Live Nude Girls Unite!” brought a pretty interesting viewpoint to that discussion.

      2. I actually know a pretty prolific porn star (mostly in the kink realm).  She’s smart, funny, and very much in control of her career.  She makes damn good money, which she’s saving like woah so she can follow her actual dreams, which I won’t reveal her, but she’s starting to succeed with those as well.  She is most certainly not a victim.

  2. What a story!   US$333,000 is a lot of money, but I guess whatever reluctance one might normally feel about entering the world of hardcore pornography could only be exacerbated by having to do so while impersonating a widely reviled dictator and mass murderer.

  3. “They kidnapped him and beat him, and planned to force him to perform in adult films because he looks like the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein.”

    Easy, guys! Whatever happenned to, “Hey, Sadam, you want to be in a porno?”

  4. I hate it when this sort of thing happens to me, too.  Most of the time, I find it best to just play along, though, and not put up too much of a fight.

    1. People want to watch Saddam Hussein-themed porn? Rule 34 has a lot to answer for.

      Well, he was no Stalin, but still…

      1. If I buy the occasional porno, I’m sending armed men to kidnap and violate a Saddam look-alike?
        Wow. I had no idea. The Deepwater Horizon explosion and oil spill – was that me too?

  5. We know this poor guy isn’t laughing. Getting kidnapped at gunpoint is traumatizing even when it’s, um, because you’re wanted to serve as a Saddam double in porn. 

    Let’s hope this guy recovers well enough to look back at this and laugh along with the rest of us, or we’re all going to Hell. 

  6. Have to say, pretty shocked about the dollar amounts mentioned.  Do they really think they could make back a third of a million dollars with faux-Saddam porn? 

    I have to suspect that some rich guy really, REALLY wants to get his hands on this, and is bankrolling the operation.  That’s the only way I can see it making financial sense. 

    1. Do they really think they could make back a third of a million dollars with faux-Saddam porn?

      You would be surprised what some people will pay for custom smut.  And some of them are not hurting for cash.

  7. The story is assuming that the second group is directly related to the first, but there’s no actual evidence for that. All we know is that he was kidnapped. Is it not possible that the guys in the van thought they had spotted the miraculously-undead Saddam, and were planning on getting a reward, and dumped him out when they realize it wasn’t him. The man said he had been harassed by folks in the past for the same reason.

    The fact that they dumped him out soon after picking him up suggests to me they made a mistake.

  8. Why are people laughing at this? The guy was kidnapped at gunpoint and was almost raped – and, yes, being forced to have sex under threat of violence is rape. This isn’t funny.

  9. Add this to the stack of unintended consequences for “nation building”.  Which aren’t very funny either, to be honest.

  10. Just thinking, maybe he should get rid of the moustache or grow a different-shaped one? On the one hand, having to change your appearance because of threats of violence is bad, on the other hand so is choosing to look like a murderous dictator apart from as mockery. And yes, IMO any facial hair apart from lack of it due to rules or inability to grow any, or an untrimmed beard due to religion (or hemophilia?), is a choice.

    1. Uh, dude, facial hair is regulated in Islam. You can bet his beard is the result of many fatwas issued for his particular sect. 

  11. The money figure seems too good to be true, he probably suspected that they weren’t being sincere from the get go.  No doubt the money would have only been provided ‘after the performance’ and then they would make up an excuse not to pay.

    I guess he was screwed either way…

    1. The money figure seems too good to be true, he probably suspected that they weren’t being sincere from the get go.

      It’s also possible that no amount of money would have convinced him even if it was legit. He is apparently a family man with several adult children who lives in a conservative religious society, there’s no reason to assume he’s ever even watched a porno. How much would it take to get your mom to participate in a graphic pornographic film as one of the most reviled figures in recent memory?

  12. There are a lot of jokes I could make (and puns on sodomy/Saddam), but who am I judge?

    After all, plenty of people seem to enjoy seeing human/hedgehog hybrid Ron Jeremy get it on, so how weird could Saddam porn be?

  13. Saddam and the Whore-ah,  Famous Dic-tators Volume 1, Saddam my dong, Saddam-ized, Saddamy, Sit on Saddam, Saddam’s Anal Invasion Volume 1 through 10, Saddam goes to Washington (Saddam + guy wearing a Bush mask), Saddam goes to Washington Volume 2 (Bush Jr.) etc, etc…

    1. Saddam vs. The ‘Merkin Bush

      ***
      I am also sending this guy best wishes and hopes for an incident-free future. Sexual assault is brutal and horrifying and having a gun stuck in your face by a shaky, stressed, tweaker (whether on speed or adrenaline) is not an experience I’d like to relive. I’m very happy to hear he’s alive and recovering.

  14. 330,000 $ ??? That’s not porn production money. That’s black ops money. Someone wants ole Saddam in a porn film and they speak “arabic with iraqi and syrian dialect”.  Hmm… The story stopped being funny when I read the amount. Actually now I find it chilling.

    1. Agreed, $330 000 is a shit load for a pr0n actor, makes you wonder what he’d be required to do.  But maybe that’s just because I’ve seen A Serbian Film…*shudder*

    2. That’s not porn production money. That’s black ops money.

      Or more likely “made up” money. The actions of those violent kidnappers don’t exactly imply a high degree of integrity. If a guy in a van attempts to kidnap a young girl by promising her a pony you don’t start the manhunt under the assumption he actually has one.

      The story stopped being funny when I read the amount.

      So which part WAS funny? The violent beating, the attempted kidnapping, or the planned sexual assault? A weird and noteworthy story for sure, but not really funny.

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