Lemony Snicket has contributed 13 sharp-eyed and well-worded observations to the Occupy Writers project -- I think anyone standing in a glass tower watching the demonstrators down in Liberty Park would do well to read all 13.
1. If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn’t mean you would be a midget if you were bald.
2. “Fortune” is a word for having a lot of money and for having a lot of luck, but that does not mean the word has two definitions.
3. Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.
4. People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.
5. There may not be a reason to share your cake. It is, after all, yours. You probably baked it yourself, in an oven of your own construction with ingredients you harvested yourself. It may be possible to keep your entire cake while explaining to any nearby hungry people just how reasonable you are.
That really craps me up. This guy is a real commodian! (Tronologic via /r/CatsMurderingToddlers)
Misha Petrick reimagined the Instagram app if it had come out 20 years earlier in Windows for desktop. Be sure to scan that .exe file for viruses!
Omnivore Salt is apparently so delicious that filmmaker Werner Herzog not only did a blurb on the package, but he even narrated a mini-documentary about its creator, blacksmith Angelo Garro, in his classic style:
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