Cellphones still don't cause cancer


8 Responses to “Cellphones still don't cause cancer”

  1. MrJM says:

    But the no causal association between cellphone use and traffic deaths remains well-established.

  2. Alan says:

    My cellphone lives spends 98% of my waking moments in my front pocket, so I’m more interested in studies involving thigh cancer anyway.

    • Mari Lwyd says:

      and TESTICAL cancer.

    • Alan, it’s not the thigh you need to worry about.  How about the studies that show damage to the “family jewels” for those who carry and use a cell phone in their pocket?  Check out the studies showing damage to sperm – and also how using a cell phone in a shirt or pants pocket (connected to a headset) can expose you to as much as 7 times the radiation allowed by the FCC safety limit.  This is why all cell phone user manuals have (hidden in the fine print) warnings to NEVER wear or use a cell phone directly against the body.

      Did you see it in your user manual?  I know, who reads the user manual…..  that makes the cell phone industry very happy as they don’t want us to know this important warning.  It’s in there – go take a look.

  3. herrnichte says:

    Oh you just wait until a newer, even more Scandinavian, cell-phone study comes out!  It’ll clearly show  (null hypothesis p<0.0666) that we're all screwed my dears.   yep, might as well stick a lit M80 in your ear.  In fact the probability that next study we learn about will not reverse the previous study is < 0.031 and that's saying something or not.

  4. RJ says:

    Yeah, but think about this. Look at all the nitwits out there on the roads, swerving around while they keep a phone pressed against their skulls. Think of all those crooked parking jobs you see, where some car is thrown hastily across a couple of spots because the driver was too busy texting or blithering into some damned phone. Think of all the scrapes and fender-benders that happen, or the hit & runs that leave innocent people crippled or dead.

    Maybe a little brain cancer wouldn’t be such a bad thing. It would flush a lot of nasty crud out of the gene pool, that’s for sure.

    (If you think I’m being stone-cold serious here, please go microwave your head.)

  5. greebo says:

    And in similar news, new research released this week shows that climate change is still happening, even though there’s a bunch of people who keep saying we need more studies:

  6. robotnik says:

    Awright! I can’t wait to call all my friends and tell them!

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