By Rob Beschizza at 6:01 am Fri, Oct 21, 2011
But the no causal association between cellphone use and traffic deaths remains well-established.
My cellphone lives spends 98% of my waking moments in my front pocket, so I’m more interested in studies involving thigh cancer anyway.
and TESTICAL cancer.
Alan, it’s not the thigh you need to worry about. How about the studies that show damage to the “family jewels” for those who carry and use a cell phone in their pocket? Check out the studies showing damage to sperm – and also how using a cell phone in a shirt or pants pocket (connected to a headset) can expose you to as much as 7 times the radiation allowed by the FCC safety limit. This is why all cell phone user manuals have (hidden in the fine print) warnings to NEVER wear or use a cell phone directly against the body.
Did you see it in your user manual? I know, who reads the user manual….. that makes the cell phone industry very happy as they don’t want us to know this important warning. It’s in there – go take a look.
Oh you just wait until a newer, even more Scandinavian, cell-phone study comes out! It’ll clearly show (null hypothesis p<0.0666) that we're all screwed my dears. yep, might as well stick a lit M80 in your ear. In fact the probability that next study we learn about will not reverse the previous study is < 0.031 and that's saying something or not.
Yeah, but think about this. Look at all the nitwits out there on the roads, swerving around while they keep a phone pressed against their skulls. Think of all those crooked parking jobs you see, where some car is thrown hastily across a couple of spots because the driver was too busy texting or blithering into some damned phone. Think of all the scrapes and fender-benders that happen, or the hit & runs that leave innocent people crippled or dead.
Maybe a little brain cancer wouldn’t be such a bad thing. It would flush a lot of nasty crud out of the gene pool, that’s for sure.
(If you think I’m being stone-cold serious here, please go microwave your head.)
And in similar news, new research released this week shows that climate change is still happening, even though there’s a bunch of people who keep saying we need more studies:
Awright! I can’t wait to call all my friends and tell them!
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