Rick Perry and the Birthers that just won't die

On the subject of Obama's birth certificate, presidential candidate and noted douchebag Rick Perry seems essentially to be saying, "it's a theory that's out there." (thanks, anonymous!)

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  1. Would this be a good time to start obscene rumors about Perry?

    Edit: I guess it probably was a good time years ago, but hindsight is 20/20.

  2. “We’ve looked at the numbers, and we don’t need the Birther vote to wi … Hold on, my pollsters are urgently waving at me.  …  What’s that?  …  You made some computational errors?  …  We DO need the Birther vote to win?  …  Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen — as I was saying, it’s a theory that’s out there.”

  3. Aren’t they due to cycle back to “secret Muslim” yet? Or remind people that Obama used to attend a church where a Pastor once said some things that certain people didn’t like? Or just call him “inexperienced.” I know that makes even less sense now than it did four years ago, but what the hell right?

  4. From his Texas record it’s obvious Rick’s got death certificates down pat.   It’s just those darned birth ones that confuse him.

  5. Stop picking on the Birthers! They keep Sarah Palin fans from sliding down the left slope of the bell curve and knocking the creationists into proto-sapient territory.

  6. I myself have two birth certificates. My mom kept the original (a microfiche photograph) in a suitcase full of photos. When I got a copy of the current one in order to get a passport, I saw that when I was 5, when my stepfather adopted me, they had changed the birth certificate to make him my natural father. When the birthers demand a birth certificate, it’s meaningless- birth certificates can be changed, and a birth certificate doesn’t prove anything because the entity that issued the birth certificate can change it at will. It’s an empty political argument and an unprovable assumption.

    1. …birth certificates can be changed, and a birth certificate doesn’t prove anything because the entity that issued the birth certificate can change it at will.

      Likewise, it’s common practice for newspapers to retroactively add birth announcements to their archives. (No, not really. And Obama produced the original in its most complete form—not a copy—so his birth is about as proven as any event of its kind can be.)

  7. Wait.. is this a THEORY theory, or a scientific theory? Oh, wait, I am sure Perry doesn’t distinguish between the two…

  8. And Rick Perry calls Obama “boy” in 3… 2… 

    How can he think the country wants another cheerleader from Texas anywhere near the levers of power so soon? 

    Who is he going to typecast as his VP nominee, Michael Ironside?

    I presume William Atherton would be his press secretary.

    1. I was just thinking if Texas did secede, at least we’d be less likely to have another Texan president for awhile. When was the last time you heard of a former governor of Michoacan or Ontario or Puerto Rico running for president of the USA?

  9. Why does the media keep bringing the issue up? It’s clear in the Parade interview that Perry is not interesting in talking about it. He calls it a distraction more than once. But the interviewer, who asked the question out of left field, without any prompting, just won’t let the issue go.

    1. Why does the media keep bringing the issue up? It’s clear in the Parade interview that Perry is not interesting in talking about it.

      In politics, as in psychotherapy, the topics that candidates don’t want to talk about are often the most important ones to get to the bottom of.

      Of course the birther issue is ridiculous. That is EXACTLY why any self-respecting interviewer should try to get a straight answer out of Perry on it, just as if he made an offhand comment about 9/11 coverups or mind control via fluoridated water or Reptilian conspiracy theories.

      Is Perry a serious, respectable candidate? A paranoid xenophobe who refuses to adjust his beliefs based on available evidence? A douchebag who will continue to give credence to long-disproven allegations just to win over a few fringe voters? I think the public has a right to know.

    2. “Why does the media keep bringing the issue up?”

      Did you click the link to the story? That’s why.

    3. Allow me to Godwin your point for dramatic effect.

      It is clear in the TIME interview that Hitler is not interested in talking about it.

      I’m not comparing the two men morally, ethically, or saying Perry is a Nazi, but I  am comparing their political strategies, and strategists.

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